The World O' Crap Archive

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Wednesday, July 9, 2014

How Many Ways Are YOU Like Hitler? A Fun New Game From Highlights!

Media Matters has one of those “it gets crazier the farther down you scroll” compendiums of right wing punditry, starting with the relatively innocuous claims by Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage that a.) Obama faked his grandmother’s broken hip in order to garner sympathy votes, b.) the grandmother’s injury is real, but was actually caused by Obama, who pushed her down the stairs in her wheelchair while giggling like Tommy Udo, or c.) it’s a cover story concocted by Obama so he could fly to Hawaii and surreptitiously alter his birth certificate, because even though his every move is shadowed by Secret Service agents and recorded by television cameras, making him a seemingly sub-optimum choice for a covert operation, he’s the only one in the campaign who knows how to use Photoshop.  And it just gets better from there.  In fact, only about halfway down the column, well before we get to the conservative radio hosts who are using the public airwaves and the huge throbbing veins in their foreheads to accuse Obama of being the antichrist, we find Dr. Thomas “I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a kidney today” Sowell and Bill “Dewlap of Doom” O’Reilly shattering Godwin’s Law like it was a Hummel figurine, or the Geneva Convention.  Something quaint and brittle, anyway.
Syndicated columnist Thomas Sowell compared Obama to Hitler, Mao and Jim Jones. What’s the similarity? Well, they all spoke inspiringly of “change.” … Bill O’Reilly recentlydeclared that Nancy Pelosi practices her speeches too much, noting that Hitler also practiced speeches before delivering them (O’Reilly claimed he wasn’t comparing Pelosi to Hitler. Right.)
By this point it’s fairly obvious that when viewed from the right wing, this isn’t an election, it’s the world’s longest Usenet thread.
But that’s no reason not to play.  Let’s see…  Hitler peed while standing up.  Bill O’Reilly pees while standing up.  Therefore, Bill O’Reilly is like Hitler, except Bill’s aim isn’t very good, so he’s really more like Himmler, who was nearsighted.
So, how many degrees of separation can you find, kids?

Posted by scott on Saturday, October 25th, 2008 at 12:48 pm.

19 Responses to “How Many Ways Are YOU Like Hitler? A Fun New Game From Highlights!”

Well, as we all know,
Hitler had only one big ball
Goerring had two, but they were small
Himler had something sim’lar
And Goebels
Had no balls
At all.
(PS- I’m sure I spelled sombody’s name wrong in the above, and I’m sure I don’t care.)
Yes, O’Reilly does pee standing up. But to be fair, it’s only to keep the vibrator from falling out.
It is unduly cruel to put such images in our heads, PlusDistance.
Not to besmirch your high journalistic standards or anything, but are you sure? I’ve always heard that Bill O’Reilly pees sitting down.
LYING down, legs in the air…
Hitler had a German Shepherd Named Blondie.
I am blonde, and I have a German Shepherd/Bulldog mix.
Does that do it?
You might want to fix the title. Hiter?
Fixed. Thanks, papa. And I’ve now discovered that I can blog from my iPhone. Lord help me.
I’m sure I spelled sombody’s name wrong in the above
You managed to spell one name right. Anyone would think you’re applying for a job in the Bush administration.
Well, let’s compare Hitler and Bill-O.
Both have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, two arms, two legs… and both hate gays and communists.
Well, that’s a bunch of data points.
He flew to Hawaii to kill his grammy because she has a tape admitting he’s born in Kenya!
it’s a video tape of Obama being born. In Kenya! No, wait, a DVD! And the baby looks nothing like Obama as an adult. Therefore, an alien imposter!
In fact, it looks exactly like Bill O’Reilly, only smaller and more coherent in whining, crying and spitting up.
I call shenanigans.
There’s an implicit argument here that I’m not sure I’m on board with. Bill-O pees standing up. okay, but the implicit argument here is that he has a penis. Like all reptilian overlords, he has internal sexual organs, and a cloaca, or ‘vent’. So While Bill pees standing up, it all runs down the insides of his legs.
Let’s not forget that ACORN is a secret front organization directed by the KGB for the benefit of the Democrats. Obama surely was going to Hawaii to meet with them in order to give them special orders, which have come straight from Fidel himself who of course gets his orders from Stalin and Hitler (on rotating days of the week).
Obama’s grandma is actually a secret Republican plant, sent to fake an injury so as to overhear the conversations between Obama and terrorists like Mr. Ayers who are planning the Jihadist takeover of the earth.
I read it all on Newsmax and it was confirmed by the World Net Daily.
So I know its true.
Karl Rove is sending Ollie North down to Hawaii with a suitcase bomb, so we’ll see what happens next.
Breaking news! Ollie actually brought down a cake shaped like a hammer and sickle inside a crescent moon!
Obama is negotiating a Votes for Grammy deal with Ollie North. We’ll see what happens next.
As for the similarities, Bill-O already pointed them out, so there’s no need to go further. Every good patriot knows that Bill speaks the truth. To look further would be to deny one’s patriotism.
In all seriousness, I am just five degrees of separation from Hitler, and six from Stalin. Historians make useful friends.
“. . . this isn’t an election, it’s the world’s longest Usenet thread.”
Marvelous. I remember the old days of and alt.abuse.recovery; the batshittery and wingnuttia were embryonic, but definitely present.
Oh, and Bill O’Reilly and Adolf Hitler both shared approximately 70% of their DNA sequences with a sea slug . . . and in O’Reilly’s case, an IQ! Thanks! I’ll be here all week.
Hate to be one up or anything, but I am four handshakes from Hitler. By any of three separate routes. Take that with the three handshakes from Golda Meir (two if you stretch it), and you get, well, actually, you get pretty much nothing.
I like it that each of my three routes passes through at least one person who qualifies as Left of Center by USA standards. The real fun is the connection that goes through Jessica Mitford.

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