The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Everything You Need to Know About Pages

NewsMax’s Ron Kessler has written a fascinating piece on the history of the Congressional Page program, and about how, prior to 1983, the 14 and 15-year-old female pages of Virgin Village used to undress without pulling down the blinds.
“It was nicknamed ‘virgin village’ because female pages undressed there without putting down their blinds,” Terry Coons, a former Capitol Police officer, told me. “It was a gathering place for officers for the first hour.”

“They left their blinds open, and undressed,” said Wayne Beckett, another former Capitol Police officer. “The officers watched. They [the female pages] were teases. They knew what they were doing. We would shine flashlights at them, and they would leave the blinds open . . . They totally undressed and pranced around.”
Presumably, this is somehow all Bill Clinton’s fault.  IN any case, it sure adds context to the Foley situation, doesn’t it?

But this was my favorite tidbit from the piece:
The term “pages” first appeared in the Congressional Globe, the predecessor of the Congressional Record, in 1839. Back then, no page could be taller than the shortest member.
I assume Ron means “Member of Congress” and not the kind of member that YOU are thinking of.

8 Responses to “Everything You Need to Know About Pages”

Why this proves that Foley was enticed into wicked acts by naughty pages, right? That poor, poor man! Thank goodness that NewsMax once again makes it clear that Republicans cannot be blamed for anything they do.
“And though my eyes were open, they might have just as well been closed.”
–Procol Harum
You said “member”. Hehe.
Wasn’t there some goofy movement back in the late ’80s to rename the House “Members Only?” Or am I just hallucinating again?
Well? How tall was the shortest?
Under the Procrustes Clause, any page discovered to be taller than the shortest member could remain in the program, but had to have his legs amputated. Alas, the proliferation of kneeling-height pages inevitably created additional temptations.
Presumably, this is somehow all Bill Clinton’s fault
Of course. Slick used the same time machine that allowed him to be responsible for Ruby Ridge. Just ask any conservative.
“They left their blinds open, and undressed,” said Wayne Beckett, another former Capitol Police officer. “The officers watched. They [the female pages] were teases. They knew what they were doing. We would shine flashlights at them, and they would leave the blinds open . . . They totally undressed and pranced around.”
Wow. Kick my ass if that doesn’t sound like the opening paragraph of a rape defense testimony.
Creepy fuckers.

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