Factory Fresh Wingnuttery, Delivered to Your Blog

As a special holiday gift, one “Mouse-in-Da-House” left us a comment in response to a post of ten days ago.  In the tradition of Dr. Mike and Dr. Mary, I plan to use it as the body of a Town Hall column — but, since it’s New Year’s Day, I will share with you an excerpt from it.

I don’t really know how I’ve stumbled upon this absolutely preposterious web-site.  [...]
from what I gather here it’s seems that the lot of you are most likely the off-spring of lower class inbreeding.
Sex soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.  [...]
Where do babies come from? They are a recreation of two persons who love each other so much that they want to bring another one of them into this world.

So, once I throw in the requisite “sic”s, add some scathing remarks about how this idiocy (and mote-in-the-eye superiority about spelling) is representative of everyone on the right, and then figure out a way to portray myself as the victim of the great hippie conspiracy, I will be ready to get my Town Hall paycheck.

But for now, if you want to read Mouse in his or her entirety, check out the last couple of comments to ”If We All Clap Our Hands and Believe . . .

Posted by s.z. on Monday, January 1st, 2007 at 7:35 pm.

20 Responses to “Factory Fresh Wingnuttery, Delivered to Your Blog”

Um, who WOULD want to read Mouse in its entirety for more of that? It’s a wonder it can arrage words at all with a mind (sic) like that.

Left by mndean on January 1st, 2007

I don’t really know how I’ve stumbled upon this absolutely preposterious web-site.

Call me persnickety, but if I’m about to get a lecture, I’d prefer it be delivered by an assertive, self-confident orator with a wealth of expertise in the subject at hand. Not a random passerby who wanders vaguely onto the stage and stands there, shading his eyes and blinking, mole-like, at the audience.

Sex soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.

While the sentiment is clearly heartfelt, it’s equally apparent that it is not inspired by personal experience.

They are a recreation of two persons who love each other so much that they want to bring another one of them into this world.

Well, since Mr. Mouse is evidently talking about a clone, do the cell donors get to decide which one of them they’ll be recreating, or is the selection arbitrary, perhaps revealed through the use of some kind of futuristic Pop-o-Matic technology?

Also, do the same rules apply to babies who are a recreation of two horny teenagers who were so ignorant about sex as the result of abstinence-only programs that they accidentally brought someone even more ignorant than themselves into the world?

Left by scott on January 1st, 2007

I call parody troll. This Mouse person actually admitted making a spelling error. This is hardly normal wingnut behavior.


Usually, they don’t bring up inbreeding, either, as it hits too close to home.

Left by Candy on January 1st, 2007

Babies are created when sperm fertilizes an egg and the embryo is carried to term. It has absolutely nothing to do with love. (If you read the paper, you know this, because children constantly meet tragic ends at the hands of parents.)

That’s why the Reightwingen Kulturtroopers don’t like to discuss overpopulation, famine, and related topics; they can’t blame it on homosexuals.

Stop insulting mice, Mouse. They’re smarter than you and you’re giving them a bad name. Go with “Sea Cucumber,” or “Dirt.” No, wait, you’re dumber than dirt…

Left by Happenstance on January 1st, 2007

I’ll have you know that I am a product of the finest upper class inbreeding.

I wonder if jacking off soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.

Left by Mark S. on January 1st, 2007

Only if you save it in Mason jars in the root-cellar, Marq.

Or put it into pop bottles and dress it up as your “future chirrens.”

But I digress…

“Babies are created when sperm fertilizes an egg and the embryo is carried to term. It has absolutely nothing to do with love. (If you read the paper, you know this, because children constantly meet tragic ends at the hands of parents.)”
:::starts The Wave for Happenstance:::

AAAYYYYY-MENNNNNN, HAPPENSTANCE!!! PREACH ON, BABY, PREACH ON!!!!!!
I would like to agree with Candy (even though she shares the name with a certain Louisiana political floozy who ought to embarrass her terribly) about the “parody troll” — but y’know, the ability to parody oneself or even a group to whom one is fiercely opposed requires some amount of self-awareness, some sort of AWARENESS, period.

Nope, can’t call it on this one.

What we got here, ya see, is a failure to communicate…
In other words, this ‘un ain’t barely left Mama’s gaping flaccid labia long enough to even slither down to the basement yet. Somebody threw this one out as chum, to bait us ig’nant lib’ruls, and it ain’t even developed enough of a brain-stem yet to realize where the hook’s been placed.

Tsk.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on January 2nd, 2007

My name has nothing to do with Southern politics, Annti, or with any other politics. It’s the nickname of a musician I loved and respected dearly who died a few years back. It’s my little way of keeping him alive.

Left by Candy on January 2nd, 2007

Doesn’t scott’s comment on the first mouse scribbling actually go better with the second?

Left by mndean on January 2nd, 2007

If sex wasn’t designed for pleasure, then it wouldn’t be pleasureable. Obviously, Mouse is doing everything wrong. He/she/it/they really needs to hit up some us liberal, amoral, depraved types for some advice. I mean, there’s a reason that every time a Republican convention hits town, the sex industry hits the jackpot.

MRS. LOVEJOY: We’re not talking about love, Edna. We’re talking about S-E-X in front of the C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!

KRUSTY: Sex Cauldron! I thought they shut that place down!

Left by Johnny M on January 2nd, 2007

I don’t really know how I’ve stumbled upon this absolutely preposterious web-site.

I’ll have you know it’s a fully posterious website. Frankly, I’ve been a little worried about its becoming postposterious.

Left by FlipYrWhig on January 2nd, 2007

“Where do babies come from? They are a recreation of two persons who love each other so much that they want to bring another one of them into this world.”

Someone’s got shelves of Precious Moments figurines.

Left by pablo on January 2nd, 2007

Where DO babies come from?

I mean, damn, there’s the stork, and the lily that opens with a babe within its petals, and that disgusting story my PE teacher told me in sixth grade, and…

Wooh boy, this is all so confusing.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on January 2nd, 2007

Or to paraphrase the man, the Juice, O.J. Simpson:

“This is where babies come from. This is mine!!!”.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on January 2nd, 2007

And remember, if sex isn’t pathetic and deplorable, then you’re not doing it right.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 3rd, 2007

I wonder if jacking off soley for pleasure is pathetic and deplorable.

Hands up anyone else who misread ‘soley’ as ‘Foley’ when they first skimmed through this thread.
Was it only me? I must be a sick puppy.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 3rd, 2007

No, Baker, it’s just a bad idea to ask for a show of hands when asking a question on that subject. Skews the results a bit.

Left by John Owens on January 3rd, 2007

I would say that jacking off Foley is definitely pathetic and deplorable. You may be a sick puppy HDB, but I think that’s better than pathetic and deplorable.

Left by BeginningToWonder on January 3rd, 2007

Oops, and speaking of misreading, that was for Bimler, not Baker. I so need to get a bigger screen.

Left by John Owens on January 3rd, 2007

[rolls eyes so far back they come around forward again]

Damn. I’ve gotten too good at that. I can see! That means I can go read this coprolite’s entire comments. Rats.

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

Oh, and Annti? That were a diff’rent “Mark” you was talkin’ to. Jes’ sayin’.

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

The Apostrophe Strikes Back!

Marq is THE MAN! Not only did everyone here love his instant holiday classic, A Marie Jon’ Christmas, but even Marie Jon’ showed up to honor it.

At least, I think that’s what she meant to do when she left the following comments:

http://www.renewamerica.us/columns/jon/061229
SP’s so trip.
MJ
—————–
“tripe ”
SP’s are tripe.
something poor, worthless, or offensive

Okay, although this seems meaningless at first glance, I think we can translate it if we all work together.  First, by reading the linked commentary (Marie’s latest), we are able to deduce that SPs are “Bill O’Reilly patented, Marie approved Secular Progressives.” And apparently we are to replace “trip” with “tripe” in the first koan.  But since “tripe” is a noun, and “secular progressives” are plural, the phrase “SP’s so tripe” still makes no sense!  And this is how we know that the real Marie left these comments.

Anyway, since she wanted us all to read her latest piece (a guest column at the ironically-titled “The Reality Check”), we probably should. It’s about how society is going to hell in a hand-basket thanks to us anti-culture warriors.  But in case you are pressed for time, here’s a comprehensive summary of Marie’s fine work.

===========================
“ARE YOU A LATENT CULTURE WARRIOR?”

Intro:  If you don’t pay attention to me (and to Bill O’Reilly), you’ll be sorry when it’s too late, and the progressives have molested your grandchildren!  Beware this mindset’s insidious tentacles!

The progressive movement touches every part of this country values and mores. It’s a mind set that has it’s insidious tentacles constantly reaching out to all venues of Americana.  Our culture, our beliefs systems, and our patriotic pride is being assaulted on every level.

Take a minute to contemplate the injustice of a world where Bill only wishes he could write like that, and yet he has the best-selling books, while Marie opines for free.

But let’s move on, for it seems that ”Social Progressives” (Marie apparently forgot what the code stands for) are “drastically hurting” our children, in that liberal judges let child rapists get off scot-free all the time. (Marie presumably learned that from Bill.) Also, per WorldNetDaily, the ACLU defended NAMBLA in a wrongful death case where two men read NAMBLA materials and then molested and killed a boy. And this an outrage, for not only is NABLA guilty of murder and rape due to the fact that criminals possessed their material, but the ACLU is complicit in the murder, because they defended NAMBLA’s right to free speech.  Oh, and all liberals are also guilty of aiding and abetting the perverts who killed the boy, just because!

The fact that liberals in our country help these criminals escape just punishment is disgusting. All parents need to be aware of that fact.

So, we must wake up and do stuff! Light will be shone! Names will be taken! Values will be valued!

The ACLU is an organization that undermines our country’s values. Social progressive in the media have empathy for every radical far leftists. Why?
[…]
Please, take a look at MTV or Girls Gone Wild. They, of all people, have the nerve to say that President Bush has sullied our image around the globe.

I hate to interrupt Marie when she’s on a tear, but I don’t think that “Girls Gone Wild” have said anything about President Bush and his sullying – could Marie actually be referring to Jenna and NotJenna here?

And I have to admit that I am kind of surprised that Marie would beg us to take a look at tapes of drunk, gullible, coeds flashing their breasts at the camera — but then, she did invite us to read her column, so maybe if we watch said tapes, we’ll find out that Marie contributed to then too.
But back to Marie:

Our public schools are bastions of liberalism. These institutions willfully rewrite our country’s history to their liking. They surely are not contributing to turning out good citizens. Can your child recite the Pledge of Allegiance?
However, they teach Heather has Two Mommies… and three daddies.

While my imaginary child may or may not be able to recite the Pledge, I do have to point out that since the Heather thing is actually an “Enter Stage Right” column, I don’t believe that the liberal public schools are teaching it — but if they did, then you could ask, as Marie does, “Where is the quality education promised to each child?”

And now, for the stirring Reality-Checked conclusion, which finally mentions Mr. O’Reilly (but says nothing about tripe):

To be a successful warrior you must act now or America will, one day, wake up to find itself awash in Islamic jihadists, while suffering from the Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome foist upon us by what Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly calls “the SPs” (Secular Progressives).

Yes, if America one day wakes up to find itself awash in jihadists, while at the same time also being destroyed by SP-foisted fire and brimstone (or turned into a big pillar of salt or something), then it will be because we didn’t read Bill’s book.

However, unpleasant as it might be to be bathing in jihadists and sulfur, it just might be better than suffering through 200-odd pages of Bill’s bluster and whining.  So, sorry Marie, but I’m going to have to take what’s behind the box.

Posted by s.z. on Saturday, December 30th, 2006 at 3:17 am.

36 Responses to “The Apostrophe Strikes Back!”

and I was so looking forward to being called a cow’s stomach
wonder if she really meant “trite?”

Left by preznit giv me turkee on December 30th, 2006

Marq is THE MAN!

You wouldn’t say it if it weren’t true.

Can your child recite the Pledge of Allegiance?

I… have a CHILD‽‽‽
[breathes into brown paper bag to subdue panic]
Why don’t people tell me these things‽

Left by Marq on December 30th, 2006

Bargin’ in off-topic agin’: remember when we were lectured by The Christmas Arses about the War On Christmas?
I wonder if they’re half as upset about this:
(edited quote from CrooksAndLiars.com)
Park Service Can’t Say How Old Grand Canyon Is To Not Offend Creationists
Grand Canyon National Park is not permitted to give an official estimate of the geologic age of its principal feature, due to pressure from Bush administration appointees. “In order to avoid offending religious fundamentalists, our National Park Service is under orders to suspend its belief in geology,” stated PEER Executive Director Jeff Ruch.
(end quote)
…Whooooooooo-eeeeeee. Where the hell’s my passport?

Left by Happenstance on December 30th, 2006

[...] UPDATE THE THIRD: Roy Edroso is in Rob Dreher’s base killing his d00dz. Plus, S.Z. is Marie Jon’’s new BFF. Lucky. Her. [...]

Left by Sadly, No! » Saddam Dead on December 30th, 2006

“To be a successful warrior you must act now or America will, one day, wake up to find itself awash in Islamic jihadists, while suffering from the Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome foist upon us by what Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly calls “the SPs.”
With just a little bit of editing, that sounds like a really weird infommercial:
“To be a successful warrior you must act now or you will, one day, wake up to find itself awash in Islamic jihadists, while suffering from the Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome foist upon us by what Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly calls “the SPs”. So call now and order Jihadist Begone with it’s double-action foaming cleanser for getting rid of those really hard to reach Secular Progressives that can lead to unsightly Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome.
I can just see Ron Popeil, Bill O’Reilly and Marie Jon’

Left by tomg on December 30th, 2006

OK, my crush on Marie is officially over.
WTF? “Awash in Islamic Jihadists?”
Why do they piss their pants so damn often? Can anyone close their eyes and envision us awash in Islamic Jihadists?
Bob from Nebraska, Vinnie from Manhattan and Sherri from LA would kick some serious ass before the “Jihadists” got off the plane.
When will we fight smart, not hard? When will this country remember we have stone cojones and diplomacy (with a gun drawn but not shooting) has worked more times than not? Can I ask any more hypotheticals?
“Jihadist Begone”. Does it come with an “O’Reilly Eraser” attachment?

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 30th, 2006

This is my favorite bit from Måřįē Ĵǿń:
Jesus stated in John 15:19 that the world loves its own. “If ye were of the world, the world would love his own.” Who would of [sic] thought that an obnoxious hate filled Howard Dean would wind up heading the Democrat Party?
Who would have thought that Jesus had anything to say about Howard Dean?

Left by Clif on December 30th, 2006

“Jihadist Begone”. Does it come with an “O’Reilly Eraser” attachment?
Absolutely, but only if you call in the next 10 minutes.

Left by tomg on December 30th, 2006

Gary Ruppert said the jihadists are going to invade Massachusetts and Rhode Island by way of Mexico.
You gotta admit, it’s a fool-proof plan! There’s no way to defend against THAT!
Yup, we’re doomed, just like Renew America and WND say. If several thousand poorly organized, shoddily equipped rabble with nebulous ties to terror organizations show up on one of our borders, there will be no choice but to surrender America.

Left by TC on December 30th, 2006

Tripe isn’t cow’s stomach. It’s brain.
Yup, Marie Jon Apostrophe just tried to insult us by calling us brains.

Left by Tara the anti-social social worker on December 30th, 2006

The ACLU defends everyone’s free speech, even the free speech of people who hate them. They defended Rush, for goodness sake, and they’ll defend your poorly written stuff if someone sues you for making them poke out their eyeballs after reading it!

Left by Hysterical Woman on December 30th, 2006

Actually, tripe *is* cow stomach.

Left by nolo on December 30th, 2006

“It’s a mind set that has it’s insidious tentacles constantly reaching out to all venues of Americana.”
Damn, that’s writin’. This woman’s brain is like one of those Visible Man acrylic models you can SEE INTO. You can watch the gears turn and see the words pop out and everything:
“…mind set,” that’s intelligent, it means more than just “ideas”…. (Does “it’s” have an apostrophe? Of course it does. Doesn’t everything?) “insidious” YES! great word! “tentacles” PERFECT, because tentacles ARE insidious– especially if they come from a mind set… “venues”– SOLID GOLD. Because “places” is so ho-hum, but EVERYBODY RESPECTS THE USE OF THE WORD “VENUES”…
But hm. “America”? No, something a bit more classier, with more importantness to it. “AmeriCANA”!! Got it!
(Reads over draft.) “PERFECT.”
Take THAT, Gore Vidal!

Left by MrWonderful on December 30th, 2006

Does “it’s” have an apostrophe? Of course it does. Doesn’t everything?)
I have to admit that the its/it’s thing is a pet peeve of mine. But knowing how fond Mar’ie is of ‘apostrophe’s’ I figured she just needed to get one in there somewhere.
And I had no idea the islamic jihadists were fans of promoting “Sodom and Gomorrah syndrome.” Go figure.

Left by punkinsmom on December 30th, 2006

It’s a mind set that has it’s insidious tentacles constantly reaching out to all venues of Americana.
I never thought of Marie Jon’ as a fan of hentai tentacle porn, but it’s all clear now. She has evidently acquainted with every film in the Overfiend series.
The apostrophes come before the catastrophe. That’s the one thing I learned from Sophoclean drama.
OK, I’m off now to look up “Sodom and Gomorrah Syndrome” in my medical textbooks.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on December 30th, 2006

Would it be wrong to imagine Marie Jon’ss” tentacles reaching out to my most secular of venues, touching every bit of my americana, reaching and touching and….
Hokay, I’m good for a couple hours here. What was the question?
mikey

Left by mikey on December 30th, 2006

Of course, it all makes sense now. We all know what fans of teh buttseks and the ghodlessness the islamic jihadists are, that we would be awash in the one while syndroming in the other is obvious. I assume the jihadists will also be offering their famous pork chop reciepes as well. It’s just not a good islamic jihadist ACLU ghey dolphin wedding without apple brandy glazed stuffed pork chops.

Left by Cornfed on December 30th, 2006

“…tentacles…”
Did Marie misspell “testicles” again?

Left by Uncle Mike on December 30th, 2006

Those tentacles are a recurring theme in her political milieu. Stretching, touching every bit, stroking, hmmmmm. It’s just like the Trail of Cthulhu!
Thanks to TBogg, here’s Judge Robert H. Dierker Jr, dismissing a sexual-harassment case and taking the opportunity to subtract from the sum of human knowledge:
“Spawned in the protean atmosphere of federal employment discrimination litigation … the theories of the ‘sexual harassment’ police have stretched their tentacles from college facilities to Supreme Court confirmation hearings to legal and judicial ethics … and now seek to ensnare the common law of torts.”
I can’t be bothered searching Google to see where else the tentacle trope has stretched its tentacles.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on December 31st, 2006

Okay:
1) Tripe is the first stomach of ruminants or the intestines of certain non-ruminants (pigs, sheep).
2) “Something poor, worthless, or offensive”. No. “Worthless, rubbish, nonsense” sayeth the OED, which adds that the use is colloquial and dates it to the late 17th century.
2a) Personally we advise the use of colloquialisms in print only by those with a rough grasp of proper English.
3) How tripe came to acquire this (limited) negative connotation is a mystery to me, as I imagine it is to anyone who’s ever been served even a passable tripes à la mode de Caen, and should be to anyone who’s ever had a decent sausage.
4) Ms Jøn¥’s'es inclusion of “poor” and “offensive” (I am assuming, charitably, that she does not own a dictionary) does suggest a sort of backwoods snootyness of the early North American (non-French) colonial era, since offal, aka freshlets, spoil in short order and must be consumed shortly after butchering, and so possibly might have been seen as ballast for rustics by some Ur-pretentious and semi-literate shopkeeper who midwifed Ms Jöñ#’es unfortunate lexicon.

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 31st, 2006

Doghouse, darling, I generally defer to your wide and impressive bank of knowledge on many issues, but when it comes to STOMACH, son, you are just grosser than wrong. I’ve smelled CHITLINS that weren’t that disgusting. I’ve lived with Chinese friends who served tripe stir-fried with tomatoes.
And yes, I have had the scent of menudo-ish concoctions waft across my face in certain neighborhoods in the 8th Ward down by the old Solano Botanica.
IT AIN’T RIGHT, SON.
There’s reasons why “black boudin” is ILLEGAL nowadays, y’know. Aside, of course, from the obvious trichinosis et al…
And yes, I’ve seen how sausage is made, and no, nobody that I’ve ever seen make sausage used the GUTS. Andouille, boudin, salt pork, tasso — pick a “venue” of bizarre meat products and/or by-products. And no, I don’t eat potted meat. Soon as I learned how to read the ingredients label, that was OVER.
Now, as to the anorexic twinkie, finger-down-the-throat-queen of abysmal abortions of all things linguistic… Reading her… OFFAL… makes blood/black boudin (and the processes involved) look APPETIZING.
Why can’t we make people pass a minimal literacy test before they’re granted jobs as (cough!-GAG!-cough!) “writers”?!??!?!
You’d think that the kneepad-happy “publishers” of said intestinal parasitic remains would’ve at least THOUGHT of that as Marie headed down to viagra town…
*sigh*

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 31st, 2006

Is it just me or does Marie look like an arrogant, bitchy cunt-wipe?

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on December 31st, 2006

It’s weird when so many things come together…
We’ve been watching Bruce Tinsley’s stupidity bloom forth like drunk’s vomit this week: in the past few strips–sent in to editors AFTER his drinky-drivey arrest was made so very public–he has made constant references to the Joy Of Boozing.
Meanwhile, up near the top of this thread, I mention that Grand Canyon Park Service can’t tell people how old the canyon is, because it will offend Creationists. Naturally, while people were whining about being denied their Constitutionally-guaranteed right to force every public and private venue to announce a shared bigoted exclusion of “others” from their staked-out celebration, the truth is the reverse; reightwinger kulturtroopers are burying scientific fact under a truckload of horses#!& big enough to fill the Grand Canyon.
Brucey drops his own truckload in Sunday’s strip–TWICE. His 2007 Predictions include a War On New Year’s Day Greetings (oh my), and the transformation of St. Patrick’s Day into…
Into…
“Day Of Intoxicated Tolerance.”
GAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAsnksnksnksnk
(Sorry to go off-topic again, but this pathetic cry for help was too funny to ignore.)

Left by Happenstance on December 31st, 2006

Tripe. Eerk. With white sauce, double eerk. I have had to eat it, but that was before anorexia was invented as an excuse for throwing up inedible garbage disguised as food. Some may claim that tripe is a traditional component of English cuisine — I call it a form of child abuse.
In many ways I am probably a worse person than my parents were, but I can console myself with the thought that at least I’m not forcing the Doctorling Sonja to eat tripe.

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on December 31st, 2006

I’ve had a few battles with the bottle (bottom line: depression undiagnosed) but Tinsley is the worst kind of saucer.
The hypocrite who excoriates Ted Kennedy whilst pouring himself another.
I get the disease, I sure as hell don’t get a hypocrite who’s NEVER been teh funny.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

Someone mentioned English cooking. I grew up with it and there’s only two things worth eating, kidney pie and pasties.
If there’s more please inform me, as my palate has taken years to recover.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

“Social progressive in the media have empathy for every radical far leftists.”
I know it’s churlish to criticise MJ’s grammar, but, wow. You do know the difference between “one” and “more than one”, don’t you, MJ?

Left by Ginger Yellow on December 31st, 2006

Oh, Annti, love, it ain’t in the sausage; it’s around the sausage (or usta be).

Left by Doghouse Riley on December 31st, 2006

Ginger, grammar is so far down the line of Marie Jon apostrophe’s problems that I can’t fathom her addressing it for years to come.
And yes, that was an excuse to incude the words “Marie Jon apostrophe” and “come” in the same sentence, which demonstrates how pathetic I have be”come”.

Left by mmm...lemonheads on December 31st, 2006

She ought to think about flashing her boobs. That’s about the only way she’s going to get any serious attention from anyone. It worked for Pam Atlas.
Well…that and all the blow jobs…
By the way, maybe she meant a shorthand for “trippin’ ” thus showing off her ghetto cred.

Left by actor212 on December 31st, 2006

My Latino partner and his father regularly go to Mexican places serving genuine comida and get a big old vat of menudo (tripe) to go. His entire family loves it and says it’s delicious. I’ll have to take their word for it; although I’ve eaten insects and all sorts of shellfish, i just can’t bring myself to try menudo. But poor people don’t waste any part of an animal that is butchered. My partner’s dad, who grew up on an Apache reservation, eats tongue and pigs feet and ears are an especial treat.
I think I’m going to become a vegetarian again. I can’t eat meat anyway unless it’s disguised in some way. If it looks like it came off an animal it’s just nasty.
But as food analogies go, Marie’s writing (I use that term loosely) reminds me more of weevil infested flour. Or a cheese that’s had the edges nibbled away by mice.
I don’t know what I mean, it just feels right. I’ve started my celebrating a little early. We’re going to my partner’s sister’s for new years – hot wings, beer brats, pickle rollups, delicious fresh tortillas,enchiladas, lots of beer, and no menudo.
Happy New Year to all, may your 2007s be full of Happy Crappy!

Left by Candy on December 31st, 2006

Doghouse, darling, not in the MODERN sausage, thank heavens/FDA/whatever.
“Happy Crappy” — Candy, dear heart, I mean this in the most affectionate way possible, but that phrase automatically made me think of PURGATIVE DAY AT THE NURSING HOME.
We already know that the batshit-crazies and the illiterate bimbos and himbos of the reich-wing will continue, unabated, to provide us all with the idiocy, illiteracy, and pure-dee EEEEVILLL needed to provide us with mucho, mucho crappola fodder, chirrens, so fear not.
Such is the way of our through-the-Brazil-on-crack-looking-glass world, m’loves.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on January 1st, 2007

lemonheads, what about trifle? Pavlovas? shortbread and cherry pie, at least in Northumberland and points north?
other than those, of course, you’re only right…

Left by Tehanu on January 2nd, 2007

2 words, lemonheads. Shepherds Pie!
(I like Pie!)
mikey

Left by mikey on January 2nd, 2007

Two words with the opposite effect… Designed to send shivers down the spine…
Mushy
Peas.
P.S. Pavlovas are stolen from New Zealand cuisine, you culture-appropriating imperialists!

Left by Herr Doktor Bimler on January 2nd, 2007

Marie Jon”s grammar and spelling were a lot better back when she was stealing her posts from other people.

Left by HemlockEcho on January 3rd, 2007

Letters, We Get Letters

 Actually, we mostly get porn spam, white supremacist boilerplate, and come-ons for online gambling, cruise lines, and narcotics of suspect origin.  Nevertheless, if you’d like to write us, free free, using the newly restored links in the upper left corner.

If you choose not to write us, that’s fine, but we reserve the right to pretend you did in order to manufacture a wholly fraudulent post, since we don’t think Dr. Professor Mike Adams, Ph.D should get to monopolize all the imaginary correspondants.

Posted by scott on Wednesday, October 11th, 2006 at 2:34 am.

i’ve always wanted to be an imaginary correspondent- either that or a real live boy- or maybe a six-foot tall invisible rabbit (its sooo hard to choose)- what do you want to be when you grow up?

Left by Dalton Periphery on October 11th, 2006

I am more imaginary than most people–the current ratio is something like one part real to two hundred and sixteen parts imaginary. So feel free to pretend I said anything you like. God knows I won’t know I didn’t say it. My partner uses this tactic all the time.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 11th, 2006

Can I write if I have nothing interesting to say? The odds are better of my writing you if that’s the case.

Left by Bill S on October 11th, 2006

I guess I never realized that Kevin Costner is so tall. Also, do you know where I can meet a woman who instinctively clutches her bodice like that? It’s for an experiment.

Left by Doghouse Riley on October 11th, 2006

hey Doghouse, that’s not the real Kevin Costner, it’s the statue of him they made at the end of the movie. you can tell because not only is it taller, it’s the better actor of the two

Left by preznit giv me turkee on October 11th, 2006

I’ve never in my entire life clutched my bodice like that.
But I can learn.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 11th, 2006

North Korea was added to the ‘Axis of Evil’ list because the Bush administration did not want the masses to figure out that the only real targets were Iraq and Iran (for Israel’s benefit). NK was a throw in. As everything else with this administration, it blew up in their face (literally). So the gov’t will do what it always does, surpress our rights by suspending habeas corpus, detaining demonstrators, banning books like “America Deceived” from Amazon, conducting warrant-less wiretaps and starting more illegal wars (to benefit Israel) based on lies.
Support indy media.
Last link (before Google caves to the gestapo and pulls the title):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-38523-0

Left by 5th of November on October 11th, 2006

What if Kevin Costner clutched his bodice? Would he act any better?
And what’s up with those airline peanuts?

Left by Jerry Seinfeld on October 11th, 2006

Speaking of Seinfeld, next time you refer to the mail can you post a picture of Wayne Knight as Newman the postman instead? He’s much funnier, and he’s pure evil.

Left by trashfire on October 11th, 2006

Bodices are for ripping, not clutching, dammit.

Left by Mentis Fugit on October 11th, 2006

Teh tallest Congressional Page must, by law, be shorter than Kevin Costner. There’s some debate as to whether this refers to the actual Kevin Costner, or his image as reproduced on the DVD sleeve of “Teh Postman.” If it’s the latter case, there’s gonna be trouble.

Left by Marq on October 11th, 2006

I wrote you once! It was great. Thanks for replying.

Left by BrianD on October 12th, 2006

February 23, 2006 by s.z.

We Get Mail!

It seems that I wronged a great American a few days ago when I poked fun at Glenn Sack and his use of the story about the crazy woman who filed the restraining order against David Letterman in order to illustrate Glenn's claim that most "domestic violence restraining orders are simply tactical maneuvers designed to gain advantage in high stakes family law proceedings."

At least, my in-box has been flooded with emails telling me as much.  (Since I find it hard to believe that my new correspondents are all regular Wo'C readers, I'm guessing that some Glenn fan site has reported on my sacrilege.)

Anyway, while most of the missives are only mildly insulting (and frequently do little more than claim that I am a jerk for having wronged Glenn Sacks, who is the kindest, bravest, warmest, most infallible human being they've ever known in their lives), let's take a look at some comments from the other notes, because they can teach us the most.

"Mr. W" offers some interesting thoughts :

After reviewing your article on glen sacks It is come to my attention that you are the one the is unable to write. Maybe you reading needs a little more understanding of the article. Or you lower area's are looking for personal gradification from the opposition sex no matter how blinded by the truth. Wake up a smell the truth their is a lot more going on out there than the lies and one sided view of a particular people.

Sir, my lower area's and its possible search for truth-blinded personal gradification is none of your business.

Now, here are some words o' wisdom from Sprout, whom we've heard before, if memory serves (he is also a frequent commenter at Trish Wilson's blog):

If Sacks is a woman hater, I guess that makes you a man hater. Did they teach you that in your woman's studies classes? I'm sure that you, like all male feminazis, advocate these leftist leanings to further your fantasies of being thanked repeatedly by naked, horny, feminists.

Um, interesting theory.  But (a) I have never taken a Women's Studies class; (b) I'm not a male; (c) the term "feminazi" is so 1990 -- I prefer to think of myself as a "femiSaddamite"; (d) implying that most restraining orders aren't actually part of a plot to screw men in divorce settlements isn't necessary the sign of leftist leanings; and (e) I have never advocated any leanings of any sort in order to further fantasies of being thanked by naked anythings.  (I do my advocating because I'm a "misandronist ideologue," as several other correspondents have pointed out.) 

But please continue, Sprout:

I know not what dung heap third World O' Crap pisshole you and your ancestors hail from, but perhaps you should return there and gnaw on a root while you contemplate the true meaning of the Constitution's equal protection clause.

Sign me, Pissed off Liberal who votes Republican.

Tony, with your ability to talk pretty like that, I'm sure the Democratic Party's loss is the Republicans' gain.

2:52:05 AM