Happy Birthday Ivan!

Yes, today is the birthday of Ivan G. Shreve, Jr., proprietor of the indispensable blog Thrilling Days of Yesteryear, your one-stop shopping place for all things of a vintage entertainment persuasion, be they Golden Age movies, old time radio, or classic television (we share a fondness for the Neville Brand oater Laredo).  Additionally, Mr. Shreve is one of the Internet’s leading purveyors of fine serial synopses (come for the G-Men Never Forget, stay for The Jungle Queen).

In light of his many meritorious services to ephemeral media, we will dispense with the traditional photo of Ann Coulter, and will instead present Ivan with this color portrait of Anne Francis as Honey West.

As befits a man of his eclectic tastes, Ivan shares his birth date with an usually varied group of luminaries, including:

Barbara Jo Allen (Occupation: “Radio Personality”)
Cleveland Amory (Occupation: “Author”)
President Daniel arap Moi of Kenya (Occupation: “Father of Barack Obama”)
Rich Boy (Occupation: “Rapper”)
Marge Champion (Occupation: “Dancer”)
Amadou Diallo (Occupation: “Victim”)
Keanu Reeves (Occupation: “Actor” — I’ll double check, but I’m pretty sure that’s a typo)
Dan White (Occupation: Assassin”)

According to your horoscope:

Both the Sun and Mercury oppose Uranus.

So don’t try to tan Uranus, or send it a Pick-Me-Up Bouquet.

As well, the Sun and Mercury form a pleasing sextile to Jupiter.

I’m assuming “sextile” is some kind of strip Mah Jong, so take a condom.

A Jupiter-Uranus trine in your Return chart suggests that an enterprising spirit this year can really take you places.

Such as to the doctor, for a colonoscopy.

Saturn opposes Neptune at the time of your birthday this year. Saturn asks you to be responsible, hard working, dutiful, and serious. Neptune, on the other hand, places a veil over your eyes, and seduces you into believing what you want to believe rather than what really is.

Saturn will encourage you to reach your full potential.  Neptune will surprise you with a chlorofoam-soaked handkerchief, and you’ll wake up four hours later in the trunk of its car, hogtied with pantyhose.

So Happy birthday, Ivan, and many more.  And pay whatever Neptune asks to get the Poloroids back.

Posted by scott on Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009 at 10:03 am

Neptune sounds like fun!

Left by heydave on September 2nd, 2009

Happy B’day.

Left by Bill S on September 2nd, 2009

Oh, and Ivan also shares the same birthday as Salma Heyak (occupation: actress/producer/beautiful human)

Left by Bill S on September 2nd, 2009

Thanks for this one, Scott. I needed a laugh tonight, and laugh I most certainly did. Cat-scaring laughter, in fact.
Neptune will surprise you with a chlorofoam-soaked handkerchief, and you’ll wake up four hours later in the trunk of its car, hogtied with pantyhose.
’round here, we calls this Saturday night . . .

Left by Candy on September 2nd, 2009

Both the Sun and Mercury oppose Uranus.
They were apparently unswayed by the arguments of Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Left by Ugluks Flea on September 3rd, 2009

Neptune will surprise you with a chlorofoam-soaked handkerchief, and you’ll wake up four hours later in the trunk of its car, hogtied with pantyhose.
’round here, we calls this Saturday night . . .
I never get invited to book signings…

Left by actor212 on September 3rd, 2009

Happy birthday, Ivan, and thanks for all the help these many years.

Left by Doghouse Riley on September 3rd, 2009

I do hope the scott’s decision to replace Ann Coulter with Ann Francis wasn’t intended to cast aspirtions against Ms. Francis.

Left by Bill S on September 3rd, 2009

“Saturn will encourage you to reach your full potential. Neptune will surprise you with a chlorofoam-soaked handkerchief, and you’ll wake up four hours later in the trunk of its car, hogtied with pantyhose.”
Can we channel Neptune so that we can dispense of the Town Hellers?

Left by mary b on September 3rd, 2009

I dunno, mary b-when I read the stuff on that site, I’m left with the impression they’ve been huffing something STRONGER than chlorofoam. For years.

Left by Bill S on September 3rd, 2009

Why is Ms. Francis “choking the kitty” ?

Left by H-Bob on September 3rd, 2009

Trine with Salma Hayek…
Sorry, what? I lost concentration.

Left by herr doktor bimmler on September 3rd, 2009

Why is Ms. Francis “choking the kitty” ?
She is trying to keep it obedient and Serval.

Left by herr doktor bimler on September 3rd, 2009