Bill’s Corner

My head hurts, so I thought I’d turn the podium over to Bill O’Reilly.  So, here are a few words from Bill about how Fox News is under assault.

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 BillOReilly.com: Journalism as a Contact Sport

There is a chance that before this presidential election year is over, somebody is going to get hurt. Knowing that partisan hostility is boiling over in America, the Secret Service is tense because the candidates are exposed when they campaign in public. Hatred is definitely in the air, and the media is partially to blame

You want to be your own country? Go right ahead. And if Al Qaeda comes in here and blows you up, we’re not going to do anything about it.
The enormous success of the Fox News Channel has created a bitterness unprecedented in the American press. … So it comes as no surprise that Fox News, which gives equal time to conservative thought, is despised by many in the liberal press. Not surprisingly, that hostility has now carried over into the political arena.

I just wish Katrina had only hit the United Nations building, nothing else, just had flooded them out, and I wouldn’t have rescued them.
The reason the Democratic candidates boycotted Fox News was that the far-left Internet crazies told them to do it. Websites like the Daily Kos and Media Matters, which spit out anti-conservative hatred everyday, made it clear to the Democrats that anyone dealing with Fox would be punished.

If you cross Fox News Channel, it’s not just me, it’s Roger Ailes who will go after you. I’m the street guy out front making loud noises about the issues, but Ailes operates behind the scenes, strategizes and makes things happen so that one day BAM! The person gets what’s coming to them but never sees it coming.
Anyway, I saw the anti-Fox hatred firsthand when I traveled to New Hampshire last week.

I’ll tell you what. I’ve been in combat. I’ve seen it, I’ve been close to it.
Fox News vehicles have been vandalized, FNC correspondents cursed, and all Fox News personnel are cautious.

Now it’s so bad that I spend an enormous amount of money protecting myself against evil.
And then I would take the other hand with the falafel thing and I’d just put it on your p***y . . . 

 ==============

 Okay, I think that’s enough from Bill.  Good night, everybody!

Posted by s.z. on Tuesday, January 15th, 2008 at 1:36 am.

that dude’s full of himself, isn’t he? street fighter, my ass.

Left by merlallen on January 15th, 2008

Go check out Olbermann’s show from last night. As always, he hands Bill his hat while stealing his lunch, and then spends a minute or two taking Ailes down a peg.

Left by actor212 on January 15th, 2008

“…Fox News, which gives equal time to conservative thought…”
First of all, isn’t “conservative thought” an oxymoron?
And, more to the point, I noticed that he said it gives equal time to conservative “thought”, but doesn’t mention any other kind. Equal time to conservatives only… That sounds about right.

Left by JoeBuddha on January 15th, 2008

bill o — so much fodder we might not ever need those writers again

Left by distributorcap on January 15th, 2008

From Billo’s column (the non-s.z.-improved version):
Anyway, I saw the anti-Fox hatred firsthand when I traveled to New Hampshire last week. Fox News vehicles have been vandalized, FNC correspondents cursed, and all Fox News personnel are cautious. Although the far-left nuts are generally the problem, some supporters of Congressman Ron Paul are also out of control.
At a campaign rally for Barack Obama, one of his staffers attempted to block a Fox News camera from photographing the Senator. This was a blatant assault on press freedom, and I had to remove the man from in front of the camera. You may have seen the pictures on TV.In the subsequent coverage of the story, not one media outlet criticized the Obama staffer—not one. Had he interfered with a CBS News crew, I believe the story would have been reported quite differently.
Heh, revise history much, Billy Bob?

Left by Bistroist on January 15th, 2008

Also, why can I comment in FireFox without problems, but not in Opera? Damn you, ‘vagina’-chanting feminazi womb-baby killers global, damn you to Heck!

Left by Bistroist on January 15th, 2008

What a wonderful thing to see Fox News finally getting its due, I’m glad Bill-O was kind enough to share the good news!

Left by kate on January 15th, 2008

NewsMax Makes Me An Offer I Can Refuse

I’m pretty tired right now. I spent the day protecting Buster from The Wrath of Kittens, since he seems to have the instinctual drive to flush cats out in the open to for hunting — except, that I’m not hunting the cats, and the cats hate it, which they show by hissing, spitting, and trying to smack Buster in the face. (Little Bob got Buster on the nose, and Ziggy got him on the top of the head — and that was despite my best efforts.)

I also took Bob and Oliver to the vet’s today for their third round of kitten shots, went on a long walk with the dogs, shampooed the carpets after the dogs brought back several pounds of mud from their walk, wrote a letter to the local paper advocating dog fostering, and read about 3000 tributes to Gerald Ford.

So, it’s probably not surprising that I read this Newsmax email subject line as “O’Reilly Blowhard Offal.”

But here’s the actual text:

O’Reilly Blowout Offer

Incredible Offer!

Culture Warrior: List Price: $26.00
Sale Price: $12.95

You know, It’s usually a bad sign when one’s book goes into the remainder bins a scant two months after being released. But making this even worse is that NewsMax isn’t even trying to lure its readers (rubes and fools though they may be) into purchasing a subscription to The NewsMax Wingnut Magazine by offering them cheap copies of the latest rightwing polemic. No, NewsMax is just trying to unload as many copies as possible of a book that nobody is buying.

But here’s what NewsMax had to say about the offer (I added a few explanatory notes, so you could better appreciate this incredible deal).

With three straight #1 best seller and more than 4 million copies of his books in print [and in landfalls all over the nation], the most powerful traditional force [i.e., the biggest bully] in the American media now takes off his gloves [and his clothes, then takes his falafel in hand, and prepares for a nice, hot, steamy shower] in the ongoing struggle for America’s heart and soul [and bucks]. Bill O’Reilly is the very embodiment of the idea of a Culture Warrior [and the very model of a modern major asshole] — and in this book he lives up to the title brilliantly, with all the brashness and forthrightness [because warring with brashness and forthrightness on the cultural front is a lot less dangerous than warring with guns and hand grenades on the Iraq front] at his command .

Save $13 with NewsMax’s After-Christmas Blowout Sale! Go Here Now!

Or don’t. We won’t tell on you if you have something more pressing to do.

Posted by s.z. on Friday, December 29th, 2006 at 3:53 am.

17 Responses to “NewsMax Makes Me An Offer I Can Refuse”

It always gives me a warm, fuzzy feeling when I look at amazon.com’s listings for “books” like this one and see the notation, “879 used copies for sale from Amazon Marketplace sellers, beginning at $0.01.”

Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on December 29th, 2006

[and in landfalls all over the nation]
hey, that’s not fair, I’m sure there are plenty being put to good use as doorstops, paperweights, propping up table legs and insulation all over the country

Left by preznit giv me turkee on December 29th, 2006

Ooh, and don’t forget paper mache, preznit! You could sculpt a pinata to look like O’Reilley’s head, and watch the fun as everybody fights to smack it with a big stick.
Probably not as fun as hitting the real one, but still…

Left by Bill S on December 29th, 2006

Don’t forget that the pages make excellent wrappers for felafels.

Left by scherzo on December 29th, 2006

Darn shame that Mr. O’Reilly’s latest tumor…I mean, tome, is selling so poorly. Must be all them godless Xmas haters…

Left by actor212 on December 29th, 2006

All I know is, if I tried making peace cranes out of the book, people’d be sending ‘em back.
Also, I’m thinking maybe a letter writing campaign aimed at talking Bill into hiring Keith Olbermannn to ghost write his next book.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 29th, 2006

[and his clothes, then takes his falafel in hand, and prepares for a nice, hot, steamy shower]
EWWW! Thanks for putting that nasty image in my head. How about a contest is uses for O’Riley’s new book? The winner gets a copy of Playboy.

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on December 29th, 2006

I just returned Culture Warrior to the library. Since I had blown through The O’Reilly Factor…FOR KIDS! I figured that Culture Warrior would also be a piece of cake.
I was terribly wrong. It took nearly two weeks to slog through 26 painful pages, and all I got out of it was “Ugh, O’Reilly good, thought bad!”
They’d save a lot of paper, money and effort if instead of paying for a book, the publisher just paid for a hooker that specializes in rocking her clients back and forth, humming softly and assuring them that she’s always, always love them. Or maybe some kind of Big Brother’s program that will pair him up with a father figure that will provide him with the masculine approval he so clearly never got as a child. Either way, Bill needs a hug more than another book deal.

Left by Kyso K on December 29th, 2006

Wow! If I order this most recent O’Reilly turd book from NewsMax, I’ll save more than 50%!! Amazing!
Um, except…
If I refrain from buying it at all, I’ll save $26 — a full 100%!!! Now that really is amazing! And, the best part is, for no additional money whatsoever, I can still borrow Bill’s crappy tome from the public library and read it, though there may be cray0n and drool stains on it. But, it’s free, and ya can’t beat that!

Left by Marq on December 30th, 2006

Crayon and drool stains on it?
Guess Marie Jon checked it out before you, Marq.

Left by Bill S on December 30th, 2006

heh heh heh heh heh heh…
You two oughta take that act on the road… But who would be Martin and who would be Lewis?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 31st, 2006

But… how do ya translate, “Oh, nice layyyyyyy-deeeeee!!1!” into ghey? Or, wingnut, for that matter?

Left by Marq on December 31st, 2006

I can still borrow Bill’s crappy tome from the public library and read it, though there may be cray0n and drool stains on it. But, it’s free, and ya can’t beat that!
Left by Marq
Just wait. I got a fiver says Newsmax offers to pay you to read it by Valentine’s Day.

Left by actor212 on December 31st, 2006

Marq, darling, why on earth would SUCH (prehistoric) camp need “translating”?!?!?!
C’mon, baby, these jokes write THEMSELVES!
If Jerry Lewis is 100% heterosexual, so am I.
Just make Bill S. butch it up a bit and throw some shoeblack and Brill-Creme into his hair, and hit the road already!

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on January 1st, 2007

BUTCH IT UP?
And who’d give me pointers on that, hmmmm…..?
(Anyone got Phyllis Schlafley’s number?)

Left by Bill S on January 2nd, 2007

Well, as to the “Jerry or Dean” question, I can always look drunk. There’s certainly no problem with that part. It’s just that I can’t sing for shit.
[wait for it!]
Of course, neither could Dean!
[rimshot!]

Left by Marq on January 4th, 2007

Well, I prefer to think of us as French & Saunders anyway.

Left by Bill S on January 4th, 2007

Our Savior, Bill O’Reilly

Bill takes a Look Back at the Year 2006, and decides that he’s made it a pretty good year.

With ten days left in the year, it’s a good time to think about what went right and what went wrong in 2006.
The absolute worst was Iraq, very troubling. I believe the USA tried to do a good thing in that country, tried to bring freedom to those people and establish a nation that would be an example to other Middle Eastern countries and fight terrorism at the same time.

You know, I might have dreamt it, but I seem to recall something about how we needed to invade Iraq because Saddam had WMDs — big, nasty, ones — and we had to take them out so that we wouldn’t be facing a mushroom cloud in America.  Hey, I know it sounds bizarre, but I could almost swear that we were told something like that.  Weird, huh?

So far we have not succeeded in doing that,

No crap, Sherlock.

even though we have liberated millions of people. The Kurds are fine in the north. Many people in southern Iraq are prospering, but we have 3,000 dead Americans and 15,000 wounded.

Not to mention a few dead and wounded Iraqis.  (Seriously, don’t mention them.)

We have spend billions and the terrorists are still killing people. It is depressing, to say the least. So that is the big negative.

On the positive front, the economy remains strong. Most of us have comfortable lives and the culture war is turning our way.

So, the positive front kind of makes up for the negative one then, and there’s no need to figure out just why we have that depressing Iraq war, nor to assign blame or anything, nor even contemplate how Bill himself may bear a little responsibility for this big negative. 
Therefore, because we don’t like thinking about depressing stuff, let’s focus some more on Bill’s economic prosperity, and how the culture war is going his way.

“The Factor,” of course, is right in the middle of this culture war deal, and we’ve had a good year.

Forty out of 50 states now have Jessica’s Law, or a variation of it, and prosecutors tell us that judges now are very reluctant to give soft sentences to child predators. Because of “The Factor’s” aggressive coverage of loopy judges in Vermont, Ohio, Missouri and Nebraska, other judges, all over the nation, have gotten the message.

Yes, judges have decided to not be loopy anymore, and to instead send sex offenders to jail, all thanks to Bill.

And we also dealt with a number of other bad guys this year as well. O.J. Simpson got what he deserved, scorn. Air America is bankrupt. Christmas has made a big comeback from the secular assault against it. That’s all good, and we’re happy we can help.

See what a great and powerful man Bill is?  He not only saved Christmas, he also caused Air America to go bankrupt, and quashed that O.J. Simpson book/TV deal single-handedly.  So, it has been a very good year for him!

So overall 2006 is a mixed bag. The War on Terror has been challenging. The culture war a bit better. 2007, we’re ready for the fight.

Yes, now that Bill has everything well in hand here in the U.S., he is reporting for combat duty in Iraq, so he can turn around that war the same way he did the culture war.  You heard it here first.

Most Ridiculous Item of the Day
In May of 2004, actor Sylvester Stallone came on “The Factor” with an interesting story. He was being prevented from making another sequel of his “Rocky” series by a Hollywood big shot
[snip transcript of interview clip]
O’REILLY: Well, soon after that interview things turned around. The movie got made, and we were happy if they helped.
Now the “Rocky” movie, the sequel, is out this week, and we wanted to talk to Mr. Stallone about his odyssey, but his people turned us down.
Now we’re not mad. He’s a busy guy these days. But it is ridiculous. Always remember, you dance with the one who brung you.

That’s another feather in Bill’s 2006 cap: he forced Hollywood to let Stallone make his “Old Rocky” movie!  But now ol’ Sly is a little too big for his britches, and won’t dance with Bill, even though Bill took him to the prom.  Metaphor, or “Brokeback Mountain” story for the new year?  YOU make the call!

Posted by s.z. on Wednesday, December 27th, 2006 at 1:52 am.

18 Responses to “Our Savior, Bill O’Reilly”

Ah, Billy Boy…now that Rush stands naked before us* as a pathetic, hypocrite drug addict, you must be our Grand TeeVee Jester of the Reight. And you’re doin’ a heck of a job. Have a falafel.
*Yeah, well…just be thankful you don’t actually have to see that image in the flesh.
Off-topic: just go ahead and bookmark “Mallard Fillmore” if you haven’t already, friends, and I’ll stop running around in circles yipping like an excited Chihuahua. Given a two-week lead time (most cartoonists turn in their strips that far in advance), Sunday’s strip was probably the first one Bruce Tinsley finished after his drunk-driving arrest became public. (And yes, I’m a bitter bastard who’s enjoying every second of his pain.)
Sunday: Martyr, martyr, martyr! (Say it “Brady Bunch” style.) Thank God for American freedom to worship as one pleases (well, except for “them,” we should lock “them” up)!
Monday: Dare to say “Merry Christmas!” Defy the persecution of the true believers in America! Where is freedom of religion in America today?
Tuesday and Wednesday: badly-drawn cows and elephants illustrating incoherent nonsense, both introduced by a duplicated splash panel of Mallard…boozing it up.
Bruce Tinsley’s falling apart.
(cackles and rubs hands in sinister glee)

Left by Happenstance on December 27th, 2006

let me see now- murdering two people, confronting your ex-wife (someone you once said “I love you” to) and some guy who just happens to be a that wrong place at the wrong time, and slashing them both to ribbons= people on Air America SAYING THINGS wee Billy dosn’t like; equally guilty, equally to be condemned. Oh, and not saying “Merry Christmas”, all same.
Right-wing logic- its like food-poisoning of the mind.

Left by Dalton Periphery on December 27th, 2006

A roman a clef regarding Bill O’Reilly

Left by actor212 on December 27th, 2006

OJ didn’t get away with murdering two people, because he got “scorn”. Of course, to Bill here, scorn is the worst thing in the world.
Also, now we know who to blame for the new Rocky movie. More scorn!

Left by Hysterical Woman on December 27th, 2006

Reminds me of a widely circulated study that showed that women’s deepest fear was of being attacked and raped, and men’s deepest fear was having a woman laugh at his sexual equipment and/or performance. So, “scorn,” watch out for those feminazis, huh?
I’ve always wanted to have O.J. attacked by an angry mob at KFC, armed only with sporks. Imagine how many puncture wounds it would take to kill him!

Left by Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel on December 27th, 2006

Note Mallard Fillmore’s source in the cow one: “UN.org”
Way to be specific there, champ.
Once, I spent an hour just trying to figure out whether then source in this October 1st strip said what he claimed it did.
After all that time, I was able to come up with a definitive answer of “maybe”.
The whole thing is here if you want the long, sordid story.
Someday I fully expect Tinsley to have a strip that says, “Source: The Internet” or “Source: Books”.

Left by Christopher on December 27th, 2006

We celebrate when people we disagree with have financial trouble? Not silenced, mind you–AirAm is still very much on the air–but just having issues with its creditors. I mean, we didn’t celebrate when O’Reilly was hit with a huge sex harassment suit, did we? Oh shit, wait a minute…

Left by trashfire on December 27th, 2006

If there has to be a retrospective of Bill O’Reilly’s year, could we get Keith Olbermann to do it? I’d pay to see that.
Of course, I half suspect that the reason Bush is getting his ass handed to him over Iraq in polls is that he had to get us to believe all Iraqis were potential terrorists in order to get the invasion underway, and now he’s telling us we did a wonderful thing by saving them from Saddam. My infamous idiot neighbor comes into play here, she who opposes the Iraq war because she doesn’t think the Iraqi/Al Qaeda terrorists deserve to be liberated.
Apparently, the nation is *full* of people like her.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 27th, 2006

Holy shit. He is fucking delusional. Let me get this straight:
This is his negative: thousands of Americans and hundreds of thousands of Iraqis are dead, and so many more more wounded. Any good will we had has been dissipated and around the world we are pretty much hated. The country is hoplelessly in debt (partially)through this insane misadvemture. Civil rights and legal rights have been trashed in the U.S. ( psssst – remember, no habeus corpus, and we no have Torture R Us)
Let’s call his analysis of the economy a draw – I mean if you are a gazillionarie to begin with, it has been a great years – for the rest of us it’s “have they no workhouses.”
His positives:
WalMarts is back saying Merry Motherfucking Christmas.
And for this twit, the year is a wash. What a shithead.

Left by tomg on December 27th, 2006

Man, that guy is such a douche.

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on December 27th, 2006

“Most of us have comfortable lives and the culture war is turning our way.”
Tell me that in about a year and a half, when the fit hits the shan and the biggest depression EVER hits and all of the billionaires bail out of the stock market and revert to their “undisclosed locations” inside of Cheney’s bored-mountain retreat.
Yeah, “WE” are all doing JUST FUCKIN’ DUCKY, you insulated alcoholic moron motherfucker. Can’t wait to see the day when you replace the doorman at your posh high-rise apartment, ’cause you “deserve” the job so much more than any “underqualified” lackey, eh?
My darling Mrs. Biscuitbarrel: Replace those sporks with tire-tools, and THEN you’ll be cookin’ with gas, baby!
Beloved D. Sidhe, fear not, dear heart — yes indeedy ma’am, this c(o)untry is, truly enough and INDEEDY-DO — chock-full up to the tits with morons EXACTLY FUCKING LIKE THAT. I’m related to more of them than I should EVER care to admit.
Perhaps, if things continue going in the neo-nazi-nihilist vein in which the Bushistas and all of their corporate-vulture, psycho-cunt bible-bangers batshit-crazy motherfuckers who fund them are trying to do: Perhaps, just as a delightful little treat for us, there will be DEBTORS’ PRISONS, and O’Reilly will be right under Fatfuck Limbaugh in the prison food chain, as designater Between-The-Fat-Rolls-And-Under-The-Man-Teats-Scrubber in the communal showers.
‘Cause we already know that Rush prefers little Dominican boys, but maybe Bill’s oh-so-talented “voice” can do the Mel Blanc-quality transformations that will make his pimp Lush Fatfuck Limbaugh pop a half-chub as he lays in that washtub as the others piss on him, trying to get his little piggly-wiggly dick half-hard.
(Yes, it’s another night of channelling Bill Hicks. So sue me.)

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 28th, 2006

Re: Christopher on December 27th, 2006
What cracks me up about the issue of Cow Farts v. Climate Change is that, recently, “independent” punditroid Debra Saunders cited a report on bovine flatulence to dismiss Al Gore’s warnings about man-made Global Warming. (She apparently believes mass cattle production to feed overpopulation and its effects on the environment are 100% Nature’s Way. Google “debra saunders cows climate” to find an array of sources, if you like, plus reactions from some readers with frontal lobes.)
So one RIDICULES one report to mock the UN, and another QUOTES a similar-if-not-same report to mock Al Gore. It seems rather like the have-it-both-ways approach NeoCons have taken towards the National Budget…and we can see how well that’s worked out.

Left by Happenstance on December 28th, 2006

Damnit, Annti, now you’ve gone and put me off men!!1!
…temporarily, that is.
Y’know, one great growth market in the Greater Depression will be for freshly caught and butchered “long pig,” if ya catch my drift, and I’ll bet you do. No other meat will be as well-marbled with tasty, tasty lard… if you choose your victims targets with care. Mind you, getting at them, walled away in their exclusive gated communities with the 24/7 armed security will probably be a mite tricky, but where there’s a will (and a hot black market), there’s a way.
I say line up Reginald VelJohnson right now as spokesperson “Uncle Idi,” before some other purveyor of this delicious product nabbs him first!

Left by Marq on December 28th, 2006

Psst! What’s that I see over in the Sadly, No! comments section? Could it be? Thuffering thuccotash, it isth!!1! A “Preview” button. Maybe Gavin can tell you all how he did it. Or something.

Left by Marq on December 28th, 2006

Hey, play nice. Some of us well-marbled types are extremely liberal proles who’ve spent the last two years threatening to sue the Home Owners’ Association if they put up a goddamned gate.

Left by D. Sidhe on December 28th, 2006

Marq, you damned well nearly put me off of FOOD.
Personally, I tend to want to reserve cannibalism for death-row inmates (as the barbeque-ees) to teach the newbies (the gourmands in question) NOT TO COME BACK.
But when that Depression hits, well, hell, the gloves are off, meat’s meat, right?
But don’t you EVER ever EVER try to feed me any “hobo stew” that smells even REMOTELY like Fatfuck Limbaugh, O’Reilly, or mAnn Coulter, Marq, or I’ll put YOU into the next day’s jambalaya.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 28th, 2006

Not to worry, Annti. No amount of Beano in the world could take the curse offa that stuff!

Left by Marq on December 30th, 2006

DRAIN-O COULDN’T CLEAN *THAT* “MEAT”!!!!!!!
{{{{{{{{{{shudder}}}}}}}}}}
Although I wouldn’t mind feeding Fatfuck et al to, say, your local neighborhood serial killers, as we seem to have a bumper crop of the motherfuckers in Louisiana lately… But they NEVER kill the right fucking PEOPLE!!!!!!
(Yes, I still have a list.)

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on December 31st, 2006

Remember, They're Doing This on Your Dime

Sure, you and I think of Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh as “conservative entertainers,” or “right-wing propagandists,” or “really bad people who say incredibly stupid, vile things.” But it seems that George Bush and Dick Cheney think the two blowhards are credible journalists, and gave them both interviews this week.

Here’s a bit from the second part of Bill O’Reilly’s Exclusive Interview with President Bush:

O’REILLY: Is water boarding torture?
BUSH: I don’t want to talk about techniques. [...]
O’REILLY: But if the public doesn’t know what torture is or is not, as defined by the Bush administration, how can the public make a decision on whether your policy is right or wrong?
BUSH: Well, one thing is that you can rest assured we’re not going to talk about the techniques we use in a public forum. No matter how hard you try because I don’t want the enemy to be able to adjust their tactics if we capture them on the battlefield.
But what the American people need to know is we’ve got a program in place that is able to get intelligence from these people. And we’ve used it to stop attacks.

Translation: “You can’t make me talk about the torture, Bill, no matter now hard you try!  Anyway, all the damned American people need to know is that we’re ‘questioning’ bad guys to keep them safe!”
But now, on to the President’s new “Freedom From Constitutional Rights” program:

BUSH: The Supreme Court ruled that the president didn’t have the authority to set up these courts on his own, that he needed to work with Congress to do so. And we did.
Anyway, what’s interesting about these votes that took place in the Congress is the number of Democrats that opposed questioning people we’ve picked up on the battlefield. And I think that’s an issue that they’re going to have to explain to the American people.

Yeah, if you’re opposed to torture, or against the suspension of habeas corpus, then you’re against questioning terrorists.  YOU would probably take Osama to Disneyland instead of asking him about his various plots, and the American people should question your patriotism, you damned Democrat!
Not that the President would ever question anyone’s patriotism, you understand.

O’REILLY: Do you think Hillary Clinton is soft on terrorism?
BUSH: I think — first of all it’s very important for me never to, you know, question anybody’s patriotism.

This next part of Bush’s answer is kind of boring, so allow me to paraphrase the President’s comments:

But we’re at WAR, a real war against evil bad guys. That’s why I authorized intercepting the phone calls of Al Qaeda villains who are, even as we speak, using their Sprint “Friends and Plotters” minutes to discuss their plans to murder you in your sleep. And that’s also why I believe we should ask captured terrorists about their plan to nuke your daughter’s elementary school, even if said questioning might involve a little so-called “torture. However, Hillary thinks it’s more important to be “legal” than to prevent your fiery, agonizing death. And she says there is no war, just like she claims that there was no moon landing.

End Paraphrase

I strongly disagree. And so does Usama bin Laden, and Mr. Zawahiri, sworn enemies of the United States, who would like to attack us again. And that’s the fundamental difference of attitude. I’m never going to question anybody’s patriotism.

But I am going to say there’s different point of view here in Washington, D.C. And the American people get — they got a choice to make coming this November. And I believe the choice is stark and clear.

Translation: “The people can either vote Republican, and continue the fight against evil, or they can vote Democratic, and pave the way for an Islamofascist conquest of United States, leading to the end of life as we know it. But hey, American People, it’s your choice! Don’t let me tell you how to vote.”

Tomorrow, Bill asks the President why people keep saying mean things about Bill, and wonders why these smearers haven’t yet been sent to Gitmo.
Or, as Bill puts it:

O’REILLY: Now tomorrow, we’ll talk with President Bush about the personal attacks leveled against him and the fact that many people think he’s a religious fanatic. 

I wonder if Bill will ask Mr. Bush if he calls himself a nut behind his back, and if he tries to manipulate himself by using religion.

But anyway, over to the Rush/Dick Show.

Basically, Rush and Dick Cheney congratulated each other on how well the economy now works for rich people; hinted that the terrorists are plotting to destroy big chunks of Iraq before the election, just to get you to vote for Democratic candidates; and then chatted about how, despite what those jerks in the media and their stupid polls may tell you, the Republican Party will triumph yet again this November, because REAL Americans think the GOP is doing a great job.

THE VICE PRESIDENT: I think it’s easy to sit in Washington and sort of absorb the vibes coming from the national media, but that doesn’t represent necessarily what’s going on out there around the country. When you get out on the ground talking with real people about real problems, their hopes and desires for their families and for the nation, as well as their appreciation for what we’ve been able to accomplish over the last six years, you get a very positive feeling.

I just want to know when Cheney has ever been out on the ground talking to real people about ANYTHING. (Dick, those people they arrange for you to speak with at those canned town meetings are kinda like those quail you shoot at those canned hunts. And the positive feelings you get from both events are equally based on self-deception, you putz.)

P.S. Now, here’s a little contest for you: caption this Fox News Photo, and you could win valuable imaginary prizes!

 

UPDATE:  The link to the photo isn’t working, but it’s the pic from the transcript of Bill’s interview with the Prez, showing the two of them chatting before a fireplace.  (You can click on the photo to make it larger.)  I just thought that it would be interesting to know what you think the two of them are REALLY talking about in that scene.

Posted by s.z. on Thursday, October 19th, 2006 at 3:49 am.

looks like a FauxNews logo to me. might want to double check the link

Left by preznit giv me turkee on October 19th, 2006

Okay, when I clicked on the photo link, I got a blank screen so I’m going to caption it: Exclusive! Fox News Obtains Copy Of GWB’s CAT Scan!
Oh, and s.z. re:
(Dick, those people they arrange for you to speak with at those canned town meetings are kinda like those quail you shoot at those canned hunts. And the positive feelings you get from both events are equally based on self-deception, you putz.)
Simply fabulous. You dear, are a master. I hope you and carnival cats are feeling better!

Left by BeginningToWonder on October 19th, 2006

When you get out on the ground talking with real people about real problems, their hopes and desires for their families and for the nation, as well as their appreciation for what we’ve been able to accomplish over the last six years, you get a very positive feeling.
People telling you to go fuck yourself is a positive feeling? Who’da thought?

Left by Realist on October 19th, 2006

I’m not sure I can deal with The Zombie Veep and President Sidecar this week. The whole torture bill thing has left me screaming. Part of me is yelling “Jesus H Fucking Christ, what kind of fucking animal fucking thinks there’s an up side to fucking *torture*, what the fuck is next, the fucking pro-fucking-child-molesting bill, are these assholes fucking *insane*?” I mean, it’s *torture*. It’s, you know, bad. It’s *supposed* to be. That’s kind of the whole deal. Why the hell are we having an argument with these people like there’s anything rational to discuss after they’ve announced they think torture can be a good thing? How the hell did these people become the national arbiters of moral values? How is it anyone can look at these people without their jaws dropping in sheer disbelief? Is there any way in which what they’re saying can be construed as anything other than evil or crazy?
And then there’s a part of me that keeps asking which we’ll spend longer in hell for: torturing a few hundred people, or killing tens of thousands? I’m not sure I have an answer. Osama bin Laden must be laughing his ass off. We’ve become terrorists. What else is there? We’re a terrorist state.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 19th, 2006

Last time a “real” person spoke to Cheney, the VP had the SS arrest him.

Left by Kathy on October 19th, 2006

Hey, my copy of Better Living Through Bad Movies has arrived. Nice work, guys – I’ve left you a nice review at Amazon.

Left by Sniper on October 19th, 2006

BUSH: Well, one thing is that you can rest assured we’re not going to talk about the techniques we use in a public forum. No matter how hard you try because I don’t want the enemy to be able to adjust their tactics if we capture them on the battlefield.
Errrrrr, like how…surgically implant GILLS, you motherfucking moron?

Left by actor212 on October 19th, 2006

Thanks Sniper, the review is much appreciated.

Left by scott on October 19th, 2006

They’re talking about their blue ties. Blue ties are in. Yellow ties are out. So are red ties. It’s all blue ties all the time now. So if you don;t wear a blue tie, you’re not in the smug asshole club.

Left by Dr. BDH on October 19th, 2006

Sorry I missed this hard-hitting interview. I’m sure O’Reilly gave W the questions a week in advance so he (Karl) could think about how to answer (spin) them. Otherwise the prez mighta tripped up the way he did with Matt Lauer (who’d never tripped up anybody before) during the 04 convention, saying something weird like, “we may never win the war on terror.”
Next week Jeffrey Dahmer gets a guest spot on Emeril.

Left by trashfire on October 19th, 2006

W: “So, Dick gets his hand up my ass, and wraps it around my spinal cord, like this. By moving his fingers, he can make my mouth move and look just like a normal person.”
B: “I wish my falafel could do that.”

Left by trenchcoat on October 19th, 2006

Listen, Bill, anyone can be a weasel. Watch me be an Emperor Weasel!

Left by heydave on October 19th, 2006

“Anyway, what’s interesting about these votes that took place in the Congress is the number of Democrats that opposed questioning people we’ve picked up on the battlefield. And I think that’s an issue that they’re going to have to explain to the American people.”
Actually, what the Dems really have to explain is why they have rolled over and played dead for this human piece of shit for the last six years. And most of the American population has to explain why they’ve had their heads so far up their asses that they could munch on their own livers.
Oh, I forgot 9-11 changed everything. My bad.

Left by tomg on October 19th, 2006

Last time a “real” person spoke to Cheney, the VP had the SS arrest him.
I think the last time a “real” person spoke to Cheney, the VP shot him.

Left by Basharov on October 19th, 2006

He thought he was being subtle, leaning forward just enough to allow the trapped flatus to silently escape, but moments before the foul waft reached his subject’s nostrils the fire in the background flashed over. Bill O’Reilly became the first recorded case of third-degree burns to the sphincter during an interview with a sitting US president. The moment went down in history as The Night of the Toasted Falafel.

Left by Mentis Fugit on October 19th, 2006

Bill O’Falafel is playing “Gayzer”
Gayzer is a game in which you try to get a co-worker in an office or professional setting to look at your crotch, ususally by subtly pointing to the crotch region. in extreme cases one may directly point or gesticulate to draw attention, the more formal the setting the higher your score.

Left by preznit giv me turkee on October 20th, 2006

D. SIDHE!!!!!!
Your magnificent box o’ cranes, all beautiful, flawless, perfect, colorful, wonderful little birds, arrived today, and I could not be more bowled-over.
Now, as to the care & feeding of my little aviary/estuary-in-a-box — what do they eat, and is this going to require a really big birdy litter box?
This is, without a doubt, one of the most unique gifts that I’ve ever received. Okay, so S.Z.’s early-birthday gift bowled me over, too, ’cause I am SO not used to people autographing their own magnificent tomes in tribute to little ol’ me.
Y’all are, without a doubt, the best medicince I could have while I’m recovering from the bone fusion and the fugly side-effects of some of these drugs. And no, nope, sorry kids, I ain’t sharin’.
At any rate, I expect to have my brain back before too much longer, and might even have something to CONTRIBUTE to WoC again… Just cross yer fingers and set fire to yer Dick Cheney voodoo dolls for me.
Love, hugs, kisses, and the occasional grope,
—A.S.C.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on October 20th, 2006

Yay! Annti! Welcome back!

Left by scott on October 20th, 2006

Most welcome, Annti. Hope you’re feeling better.
All the cranes require is that someone look at them and be pleased. Hopefully pleased enough to be nice to the next person they see, but if they make even one person a little happier, it’s a net good in the universe.
Crazy people have been known to put them in clear plastic boxes for display, to put them in bowls around their homes, to make jewelry with the smaller ones, to count them, to sort them, to let the cats play with them, to string them, to give some or all away, and to learn to fold their own and start sending those off to other people. It’s entirely up to you.
I view them as the byproduct of the folding process and keep them in a couple of big appliance boxes in my living room, and my partner views them as “pretty litter” and bitches about the big boxes in the living room. Both attitudes lead to them being mailed off to people and organizations at something approaching random whenever I have postage money I didn’t just buy more paper with. I can fold a hundred in two days if I’m not distracted, and generally manage a hundred a week just to try to keep ahead of the paper-collecting.
So it goes, and I have been known to take requests into consideration if anybody knows anyone who could use some.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 20th, 2006

Folded cranes make nice package bows, and excellent mobiles. Pretty on Christmas trees too.

Left by Kathy on October 20th, 2006

Scott, darlin’, if I got that kind of response everywhere I went, I’d be grinnin’ like a possum year-round. Thank you.
I can’t promise that I’m going to be any more reliable or regular about my commenting here than I’ve been pre-surgery, but I am trying. I’m just playing hell with these drugs this time — this one is a whole other world than what I went through at Charity Hospital, 6 years ago. And, unfortunately, I’m not enjoying ANY of the drugs.
And, to top off all of the other wonderful news, my CAPS-LOCK button went and DIED on me!!! How in the hell can I be Anntichrist S. Coulter without a Caps Lock?!??!?!?
But D., Darlin’ heart, I do wish that you’d send me your e-mail address, ’cause I don’t even know how to BEGIN to thank you for your wondeful gift of those gorgeous, surgically-precise little birdies. If I can’t get it here, could you swing by my blog and drop me a line? This is without a doubt, the most unique and beautiful gift that I’ve ever been given — I’m stil blown away by it.
And thus far, I’ve found adoptive parents for about nine of the beautiful little birds, ’cause I figured that (being as ignorant of Japanese culture as I am) the best thing to do with them was to share their beauty and whimsy with the world. And whatever I don’t give away, I’m going to string into a garland to drape around my entire closet of an apartment! Soon as I can get up on a ladder again, I’ll hang the cranes with my Chinese paper & silk lanterns, and it’ll look like party time at Rosie’s Bar on M*A*S*H!!!
Thank you again and again, D., and many many millions of thanks to S.Z. & Scott for that wonderful book. I did do a Cliff’s Notes “review” of the book before I went under the knife (just in case my karma was still sorely lacking on that score), but I still intend to write something worthy of such a hilarious book and such a generous gift.
Even with the surgery, this has proven to be one of my best birthdays EVER!!! And all thanks to my online angels and demonettes and loves of all natures.

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on October 21st, 2006

Caption:
Bush: Thanks to Diebold America will just be doing this in November so, no, I’m not worried..

Left by Scott1960 on October 21st, 2006

Annti, you without a CAPS LOCK KEY is like Ann Coulter without the black cocktail dress… and, dear gawd, we wouldn’t want that, would we? Is there a fund somewhere to get you a nice, new keyboard, a Paypal button or some such?

Left by Marq on October 22nd, 2006

Marq, darlin’, I appreciate the thought, but since I’m running on a four-year-old laptop, I’d probably have to have some major structural work done to fix that one key, instead of just goin’ by Radio Shit and getting a $20 keyboard. I’ve been able to function for a couple of years without a CTRL key (apparently the control key pad accepts finger pressure as easily as it does those little plastic springy things), so maybe, somehow, someday, I’ll learn to say something without all caps.
I can’t promise anything, but I can try.
And if you just wanna contribute to my pity-party fund (’cause I want to decorate this full-torso plastic-steel-and-aluminum brace from the back surgery and have to wear it for TWO MONTHS and there will be NO HALLOWEEN for me this year), I still have the PayPal account (joannaagain {at} hotmail, etc.).
Of course, the Xena concept came easily, as a theme for decorating my little linebacker outfit here… but I’m still not sure… I might go for the full-bore drunken-drag-queens-at-Southern-Decadence glitter/jewels/boas concoction, and then again, I might just carry a bunch of multicolored Sharpies around with me, and let people draw graffiti on me.
Any suggestions?

Left by Anntichrist S. Coulter on October 22nd, 2006

Actually, if your aged laptop has USB port(s), you might well be able to plug a standard keyboard into it and gain not only a caps lock, but also the CTRL key. If you keep your eyes open for sales, a generic USB keyboard can be had for well under $10–I’ve seen ‘em as low as $2. And, yeah, I definitely don’t advise getting repairs done, as that might likely run more than a new computer.

Left by Marq on October 23rd, 2006

Tales from an Alternate Universe

This week Bill O’Reilly uses his column to toot Roger Ailes’ horn (so to speak) on the occasion of Fox News’s 10th birthday – but happily, no falafels were injured during the making of it.

Hollywood put out a hit movie about FNC, liberals like Howard Dean openly disparaged the network, and the far-left blogs did everything they could to damage those working at the network. It was, and is, very nasty.

Yes, the network was, and is, very nasty – but I hear that some of the weather bimbos are actually quite nice.

But think about it; what is the beef? Even if FNC is a conservative think tank, which it is not,

Wait, Fox News isn’t a think tank! Bill, are you sure about this? [sarcasm sequencer set at maximum]

there are five other networks that give enormous benefit of the doubt to the left. So what if one operation leans right? Shouldn’t there be room in this country for one newsroom that doesn’t think like Ted Turner?

Sure. But would it be too much to ask that said newsroom not think like Karl Rove?

Last week on my program, I challenged Democratic strategists James Carville and Paul Begala to give me one example of an unfair presentation on FNC. They could not cite one.

Proof positive that Carville and Begala should be put out to pasture for their own good. (Assuming that Bill isn’t lying about this, which has been known to happen from time to time, assuming you define “time to time” as “every hour or so.”)

The liberal Alan Colmes balances the conservative Sean Hannity, and the rest of the FNC cast is evenly split between the right and the left. The guest list is the same way.

Okay, we’re going to have to stop here, because my laughing is getting in the way of my typing. But instead of asking Bill what color the sky is in his world, I think we can all assume that it’s a patriotic blood red, and then quietly cut his mic and up his medication.

Posted by s.z. on Friday, October 6th, 2006 at 1:52 am.

Wow, FOX News has been around as long as The Daily Show. I wonder if it’ll ever be as honest or intelligent as The Daily Show.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 6th, 2006

What Hollywood hit movie was about Fox News? Wag the Dog?

Left by Mark S. on October 6th, 2006

Last week on my program, I challenged Democratic strategists James Carville and Paul Begala to give me one example of an unfair presentation on FNC. They could not cite one.
Well, cept for the time they kept listing Mark Foley’s party affiliationas “D” of course.

Left by Boo on October 6th, 2006

Finally Bill got something right – Fox is not a conservative think tank. That requires a brain. Hmmmm. How about a conservative septic tank.

Left by tomg on October 6th, 2006

The saddest part of all is that I think Bill really believes every word of that.
I’d love to know the actual context of the Carville/Begala thing.

Left by David E. on October 6th, 2006

Does O’Reilly mean “put out a movie that was a hit” or “put out a [mob] hit in the form of a movie”? Is he referring to the Robert Greenwald movie, “Outfoxed” — and is that in any way “Hollywood”? What a whiny sociopath.

Left by FlipYrWhig on October 6th, 2006

Seriously, does anyone know what hit movie he’s talking about?

Left by Mark S. on October 6th, 2006

Maybe he meant Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy.

Left by Boo on October 6th, 2006

Now, see, this is more like it! Just plain, vanilla stupidity and insanity (Insanity and Colmes?). Yes, soothing. Unlike that “gays = pedophiles” bullshit. Aaaaahhhhh…. mmmmmm. So peaceful and lovely….

Left by Marq on October 7th, 2006

Alien Vs Culture Warrior: This Time It's Personal!

Bill O’Reilly tells his fans about his new book:

A Special Message from Bill on Culture Warrior
In just a few weeks, my fourth non-fiction adult book will be released. As you might know, it’s called Culture Warrior and it chronicles the intense war between my side (traditionalists) and the secular-progressive corps. […]
The media is firmly in the S-P camp and it will be very interesting to see how vehemently this book is attacked. It’s already started in Vanity Fair magazine and in Publisher’s Weekly (whose publisher, by the way, is a major donor to S-P political figures).

Yes, when the Publisher’s Weekly reviewer stated that in this book, Bill’s “populist swagger subsides into kvetching,” and then cited examples of kvetching from the text, he was just doing it because his publisher donates to S-P political causes. That’s how book-reviewing works.

Of course, we will keep score on who is fair and who is unfair concerning the book. I expect to be greatly amused.

No, Bill, you expect to be greatly offended and outraged at any coverage that is less than flattering, and your face will get all red and blotchy, and your blood pressure will rise, and you’ll probably yell “shut up, shut up!” at the unfortunate aide who brings you the Google searches you requested.

You know, Bill, a secure person wouldn’t feel this need to “keep score.” Have you considered getting some therapy?

Also, if you see any cheap shots directed at us—please inform us via the message boards. We always value your input.

Bill, it’s not healthy for your fans to enable you, so you should stop asking them to. You just need to realize that not everyone in the world will like your book, and it’s okay — because it just means that you’re a petty, loudmouthed, close-minded, bigoted, pompous jerk who’s not very bright.

(BTW, I’d report myself for this cheap shot, except that only Bill O’Reilly Premium Members can use the message boards.)

Finally, let me know what you think of “Culture Warrior” and I’ll read some of the letters on the air. This book could very well change the direction of the country. In fact, I can almost guarantee it will.

“Change the direction of the country.”  Um, okay. Whatever you say, Bill.

Oh, and Bill’s site is also offering a “Culture Warrior Test” — If you have nothing better to do, you might want to take it:

Are you a “Culture Warrior,” or are you in the secular-progressive (S-P) camp? Take our short test to find out.

1.  Do you believe in “income redistribution”–that is, the government taxing affluent Americans at a higher proportional rate in order to fund entitlements to the less well off?
   Yes   No
2.  Do you believe that the USA, in general, is harmful to the world?
   Yes   No
3.  Do you believe that homo nups should be mandatory for all Americans, even dead ones?
   Yes   No
4.  If we had captured an al Qaeda member who knew about a plot to nuke New York City, and we had only one hour to get the information from him before the bomb went off, would you want the authorities to torture him in order to save the lives of millions? Okay, what if instead of plotting to nuke NYC, it was a plan to trash Bill’s book? And what if the bad guy wasn’t a member of al Qaeda, he was a member of Media Matters? Wouldn’t you want the terro-journalist to be tortured until he confessed that he was actually in the pay of George Soros, named the names of his fellow conspirators, and swore undying loyalty to Bill O’Reilly?
   Yes   No
5.  Do you believe it should be a capital crime to accuse somebody of not being born in Levittown, when they really were born there, depending on how you define “Levittown”?
   Yes   No
6.  Are you against states legally mandating that underage girls not be allowed to look slutty in public unless it’s sweeps week?
   Yes   No
7.  Do you believe that the War on Christmas is not only the most profound spiritual issue facing this nation, but also the most important security issue of all time?
Yes   No
8.  In your opinion, is the ACLU, the most evil organization EVER, using a secret satellite to beam microwave transmissions into the brains of the public, in an effort to make them believe that it’s legal to have a separation of church and state?
Yes   No
9.   Do you you believe that Mel Gibson was unfairly maligned for saying that the Jews were responsible for starting all the wars, because all the facts aren’t in yet about just who did start all the wars?
Yes   No
10.  In these perilous times, when terrorists are trying to kill us just because they hate our freedom, and illegal immigrants are plotting to steal our very way of life, don’t you think it’s time we set up some kind of a secret police force in order to monitor those amongst us who might be working to destroy us by saying bad things about Bill’s new book? If so, would you be willing to inform on these traitors in your community, neighborhood, or family, if you came across any?
Yes   No

So, how did you do? Are you on Bill’s side, or are you one of those America-hating, anti-god, child-molesting, puppy-killing S-Ps?

In any case, be sure to watch for Bill, who will be flogging his new book on “Leno, 20/20, Good Morning America, The Today Show, The View, The CBS Morning News, maybe Letterman.” And if you happen to be an S-P technical guy for one of those shows, I’ll pay you $10 if you’ll cut Bill’s mic

Posted by s.z. on Wednesday, September 6th, 2006 at 5:11 pm.

Geez, 5 whole quetions to see if I’m a Culture Warrior. That’s a bit excessive, ain’t it Bill? You can just ask if I’m a liberal and get it over with.
Loofah!

Left by Willy on September 6th, 2006

I like what you added to the questions. Man, O’Riley is such a douche.

Left by Yaoi Huntress Earth on September 6th, 2006

Jim King 67%, Randall Terry 33%.

Left by Dr. BDH on September 6th, 2006

I liked that after taking the quiz, even though I apparently fail to measure up to the O’Reilly scale of correct-thinking American, I am magnanimously allowed to pre-order the book despite the treasonous idiocy of my convictions.

Left by stupidbaby on September 6th, 2006

Hey, I got 100! Do I get hummus?

Left by BeginningToWonder on September 6th, 2006

I’m disappointed. When I saw that Bill had written a “non-fiction adult book” I thought it would be the transcripts of all the dirty phone calls he made to women who work for him.

Left by jpj on September 6th, 2006

Man. Bill, you don’t get to create a stupid phrase like “S-P” and then start flinging it around as though, you know, anybody, knows what the fuck it means. Even your *fans* don’t know what the fuck it means, mostly because they haven’t read your books, not being able to read.
Self-conscious catchphrase production. Is there anything lamer?
Anyway, Bill-O should be grateful to get this much of your wit and attention. But he won’t be, because he’s a dumbass.

Left by D. Sidhe on September 6th, 2006

Question about #3 — what are “homo nups”?
I must not be up on the lingo traditionalists use nowadays.

Left by American Citizen on September 6th, 2006

I couldn’t get the quiz page to load. My browser just sat there and spun its wheels. I can hardly blam it for its refusal to go considering the destination, but I suspect that O’Reilly’s goons got wind of incoming liberals and rither yanked the quiz or else changed the path to it (put it in another directory). Either that, or I was supposed to have “cookies” turned on, and I won’t for O’Reilly.

Left by Marq on September 6th, 2006

Homo nups is both a phrase coined by Pastor Swank meaning same-sex marriage, and a great tasting snack! They’re so good, you’ll be on the slippery slope to polygamy!

Left by Hysterical Woman on September 6th, 2006

I said it last time and I’ll say it again: clinical narcissism. If there’s a better candidate for NPD, I don’t know who it is.

Left by Drew Johnston on September 6th, 2006

Marq, it’s just as well, since O’Reilly makes you wanna toss your cookies.

Left by Bill S on September 7th, 2006

I dunno about the christiangallery guys, and I’m not clicking over to find out. But I know the Army of God assholes are anti-abortion and tied into the white supremacists and christian identity people. So I would guess they want to kill Tiger Woods because he’s biracial.

Left by D. Sidhe on September 7th, 2006

Great. So now the christopathic white power fuckwits are using other names and having dumbass conversations in the comments here. Shouldn’t they be back in class at Skinhead Elementary at this time of year?

Left by Thorlac on September 7th, 2006

They probably got lost on the way. It can suck when your mommy doesn’t pin the directions to your sweater.
Incidentally, why is it Bill-O likes to make up statistics saying we’re a Christian nation when explaining that only crazy people are offended by “Merry Christmas” and *not* offended by “Happy Holidays”, but he gets a book contract and all of a sudden it’s On, no! The heathens are everywhere!
Well, no, okay, I understand why. It’s probably also why the bigots are drawn to blogs that make fun of Bill. They may not know how to behave in public, but they know who their pals are.
How are you, anyway, Thorlac? Seems like it’s been a while since I’ve seen you hanging out here. You still have a blog?

Left by D. Sidhe on September 7th, 2006

I’ve been lurking the whole time. I just rarely have anything to add that is as funny or insightful as what’s already been posted. That’s also why I’ve never had a blog of my own; it’s being said better elsewhere. Besides, it seems these days that bloggers spend too much of their time patrolling comments because of some mindfucked asshole like Ishmael/Nephi/other sockpuppets.

Left by Thorlac on September 7th, 2006

We live in a supposedly ‘Civilized’ society which ironically allows for children to be butchered in their mothers wombs.If that’s secular progression, feel free to drop me off back in 1459.
They had abortion back then, too. Try going back to before sex. Hell, just go!

Left by Hysterical Woman on September 7th, 2006

Actually, Reed Elsevier (PW’s parent company) is not only a massive corporate conglomerate, but also has a subdivision which runs arms trade shows.
In other words, about as far as you could get from a supporter of S-P causes — though I’m sure they donate heavily to politicians of all stripes.

Left by canadienne on September 7th, 2006

This latest infection of the comments section is the result of a common tactic by fringe groups: they comb the internet, searching for forums where they can post their garbage without fear of being screened or edited. Any forum will do–I’ve encountered them on UAW newsletters, bulletin boards for homeopathy enthusiasts and websites for Catholic liturgy professionals. Any backlash they get is irrelevant–the point is to get their vile crap out.

Left by eagle on September 7th, 2006

I know….I know I shouldn’t feed the trolls but:
Hey Mickey
Why don’t you head over to Little Green Footballs. At least there you’d be among friends. Bet they could give you a lot of suggestion on who to add to your assassination list.
W.D.

Left by Weird Dave on September 7th, 2006

Aw, we had a troll again and I missed him ’cause I had to go to work! Was he the same one we had before, or a new fuckwit?

Left by Bill S on September 7th, 2006

Bill S, I think it might be just one little troll but, who knows? I suppose they might work in teams. Shades of junior high. I hope your sister is okay.

Left by BeginningToWonder on September 7th, 2006

o/~ My nups, my nups, my nups, my nups, my nups,
My nups, my nups, my nups, my lovely homo nups (Check it out) o/~

Left by actor212 on September 7th, 2006

I don’t get the title of the piece–”Alien Vs Culture Warrior”? I’m picturing the opening scene of some sci-fi sequel in which Sigourney Weaver is writhing in restraints on a futuristic operating table, as the doctors helplessly watch–some horrible thing is ripping loose from her abdomen–a round glob covered in blood emerges–the gore drains away–and there for all to see is the head of Bill O’Reilly, screaming, “Wal Mart is trying to destroy Christmas!”

Left by trashfire on September 7th, 2006

Sigourney Weaver is writhing in restraints on a futuristic operating table
*sweat*

Left by actor212 on September 7th, 2006

I just rarely have anything to add that is as funny or insightful as what’s already been posted.

Aw, hell, dood. I never let that stop me!

Left by Marq on September 8th, 2006

Me either.
Now I just have to figure out whose blog I was reading that I never recovered the bookmark for. Could’ve sworn it was Thorlac.

Left by D. Sidhe on September 8th, 2006

From the moment I picked this book up, until the moment I put it down, I couldn’t stop laughing. One day I hope to read it. (Apologies to Groucho Marx)

Left by Badabing on September 8th, 2006

Closest I’ve come to blogging was asking Doghouse Riley why he wasn’t doing one, which he quickly corrected. And the world is better for it. Also gives me another place to lurk. But I’ll try to take Marq’s attitude and shout out anyway from now on.

Left by Thorlac on September 8th, 2006

Um… none of his questions really say anything about secularism.
I mean, Christianity, and its brothers Islam and Judaism do say things about homo nups, but lots of other religions don’t say jack about them.
Same with abortion.

Left by Christopher on September 11th, 2006

Bill’s got it right. Great book !

Left by rich on October 9th, 2006