The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

March 5, 2005 by s.z.

Who Said It?

1.  Our first Mystery Guest from last time (the one who explained how Puritans were apparently against recycling) was John Tierney.

Bistroist quickly identified him, and wins this paragraph from an Editor and Publisher piece about Tierney, the NYT's replacement for Bill Safire:
Some liberals and media critics have long faulted Tierney, however, for a tendency to acknowledge only the evidence that supports his preconceived positions. "On several occasions, writing for the Times magazine, for his column, and in other parts of the paper, he's advanced arguments in ways that border on outright intellectual dishonesty," Zach Roth of Columbia Journalism Review wrote in December, "either by willfully ignoring major sides of the debate, or by flouting basic journalistic norms whose observance might weaken his case."
2.  Our second guest (the one who said that there is "no such thing" as separation as church and state) was Tom DeLay

Bistroist identified him too, and wins this quote about DeLay:
Edd Hendee, who owns the Taste of Texas restaurant in Houston, teaches a Bible study that DeLay attends at a local Baptist church, and said the other members love to tease the big shot. “Like they’ll have the top 10 reasons not to be late to class: ‘You don’t want to walk in with Congressman DeLay and have his two thugs frisk you outside,’ ” Hendee said. “It’s a hoot. He’ll shoot back something like, ‘I can arrange a private frisking for you.’ ”
Um, okay.

3.  Anyway, our third Mystery Guest (the one who revealed that a preacher might have to accept corperate sponsorship if he wants to run a megachurch) was Armstrong Williams.   

john b identified him, and wins Armstrong (who can be purchased at very reasonable rates these days).
Thanks to Captain Salty for suggesting Armstrong.  The Captain especially liked this quote from Armstrong's piece: "You might be amazed at how little it takes to rent space in a sermon."

Realist was the first to name all three of our Mystery Guests in one comment, and so wins, um, these two recommendations of Doug Giles:
"Doug Giles is awesome and eloquent."
- Congresswoman Katherine Harris
Giles confronts liberals and their lunacy in the same way I hunt Africa's most dangerous game; namely, without fear and with great joy!
- Mark Sullivan, Professional Hunter

Now, Who Said This?
1.  I like doing this, by the way - I like going around the country, saying, 'Folks, we have got a problem.'
2. It would be hard to imagine a better friend to Al Qaeda and other terrorist outfits than the American Civil Liberties Union.
3.  From the intro of his new, not-selling-that great, book:
I have received both praise and criticism for what I have done, and some have even distorted or dismissed the true issue, but my full story remains untold. This book is not only about my life; it is about the importance of the public recognition of the sovereignty of God. 
4.   I saved SpongeBob's reputation. SpongeBob's my best friend now.
5.   So an increase in the marginal tax rates will let women regard motherhood as something more like a joy. Presumably this means that money extracted from the very people she talks about in her article – high-buck Yups on the Eastern Seaboard feeling the stabby knives of guilt – will be directly dispensed to stressed out women in Omaha, who will use it . . . for what? Quality child care that obviates the need to come up with magical mommy moments on their own? Is the author actually suggesting that repealing the tax cuts will stop mothers from getting insane over coordinated felt? That some would toss and turn over something some biatchy mom had said, but comfort herself with the knowledge that some couple in Boston was paying 38% on those last few dollars of income? 

12:50:40 AM 

March 4, 2005 by s.z.

Sorry, Canadians - You're Not Mentioned 

I'm really tired, (and if you read my posts at American Street and Pandagon, no doubt you're tired of me too).  So, here's something suggested by Vivek (thanks, Vivek!) that I've been saving for just such an occasion: I bid you stand, Men of the West.

It's a page composed by an Australian guy who explains how "The Lord of the Rings" is an analogy for basically everything. 

He starts by mentioning that he was home watching "The Return of the King" on his "kick-ass stereo system" when he was struck by Aragorn's speech outside the Black Gates (especially the part about standing, Men of the West):
That last phrase got me thinking. Men of the West. Holding off a vast horde of pure evil. And the more I got thinking, the more I realised just how accurate to today's events that was (and the movies in general). Allow me to explain.

We can do the easy one first.

The forces of Mordor represent islam. Sauron is Allah. The Witch King of Angmar is Mohammed. The trolls are the Imans and the Orcs your savage, brainwashed masses with no respect for life. You also need to remember that Orcs used to be Elves. And this was once true of muslims.
Yes, I think I recall hearing something in a history class once about how the Muslims were formerly Elves.
Back in the Dark Ages, while Europe was little more than tribes of barbarians jockeying for position, it was the muslim lands that were the centerpiece of art, culture, and learning. Jews were welcomed for their teachings and both Jews and Christains were free to make pilgrimages to their holy sites.

For just as those Elves became corrupted and turned into Orcs, so it is with muslims.

There can be no appeasement of them. Their only goal is conquest, enslavement, and destruction of the free peoples of Middle Earth
I think this insight helps us to better understand President Bush's plan to spread democracy in the Middle East -- since there can be no appeasement of the Orc/Muslims, and we can't really turn them back into Elves by saying the magic word "freedom," we must use zombies against them, like in the movie.

Anyway, check out the webpage and discover who the Americans, English, Australians, Chinese, Indians, and traitorous Left are

But this is my favorite part:
For completion sake I will say the Ents are those in charge of the US military and all decent and loyal politicians for when they become angry enough, there will be nothing that can stand against their righteous rage.
Yup, Rumsfeld does kind of remind me of an Ent:lumbering, big, not that bright.
What do you reckon? Am I a great visionary or have I just stated the obvious?
Hey, he asked!  So, read the whole page and leave a comment here, which he could see some day.

10:03:25 AM    

As Seen At

My American Street post is up; it's about Ann Coulter.

And I have two posts over at Pandagon; one is a Townhall Review, and the other one is also a Townhall Review.  Yup, lots and lots of Townhall Review over at Pandagon.

You can go read them if you want -- I'll just nap until you get back.

Oh, you're back now, huh?  Well, then why don't you check out this blog I heard about somewhere called Bats Left Throws Right.  It's by some guy named James Briggs Stratton "Doghouse" Riley -- he looks kinda familiar, so I think I must have gone to junior high with him, or something.

9:17:39 AM

March 3, 2005 by s.z.

Perry Mason Must Be So Proud

Via Roy at Alicublog, we learn that K. Lo is not just one of our nation's foremost experts on the Brad/Jen split, but is also a legal scholar (oh, and that she really is that stupid):
There is 
a very interesting piece in the Wichita Eagle today: “Investigators -- trying to hide from Dennis Rader that they were zeroing in on him as a BTK suspect -- obtained DNA before his arrest through a tissue sample linked to his daughter's medical records, sources say.” Interesting, most especially, in light of the outrage over the Kansas attorney general trying to obtain medical records from abortion clinics in seeking to prosecute crimes.
Posted at 01:02 PM
But hey, here's another Kathryn Jean post about medical records from a few months back:
Rush's lawyer, Roy Black, 
in the Journal, on the seemingly blatantly unjust pursuit of the radio talk-show host in Palm Beach County. Here's some of it:
Over the past six months, Palm Beach County State Attorney Barry Krischer has: raided drugstores near Rush's home; seized his medical records without going through the required process enacted by the Florida legislature to protect medical privacy; [snip rest of Barry's work on the behalf of his client]  Posted at 10:23 AM
So, apparently the way it works is:

Since investigators with a warrant were able to obtain DNA linked to medical records (as the DNA was possible evidence in their case against suspected serial killer), then AG Kline should be able to seize the medical records of 90 women who had abortions, so he can see if  the records indicate that possible crimes may have been committed by some other people. 

Oh, but investigators with a warrant shouldn't be able to seize the medical records of admitted addict and suspected black-market drug buyer Rush Limbaugh (records which could be evidence that could help them prosecute him for the crime of "doctor shopping"), because that would violate Rush's medical privacy.
Next time: KLo joins the new "Law & Order" series and prosecutes serial killers and  women who have had abortions, while also exonerating conservative celebrity defendants. 

9:24:41 PM    

Jeff Gannon: So Feared By the Left That It Made Him Offer His Services to Maureen Dowd

Over at, JimJeff is really starting to get into this blogging thing.  He's even introduced a new feature:
Today's Briefing Question
While I am on hiatus from the White House briefing room, I'm going to post the question I would have asked had I been there.  It will be interesting to see if anyone else asks it.
Todays question: "Does Alan Greenspan's recent comment about the economy growing at a 'reasonably good pace' mean that Greenspan agrees that the President is a super genius with a really great bod, and that the Democrats are stinkyheads who are wrong about everything?"   
But my favorite bit is this item from today:
3:50pmTom Bevan has an great piece at Real Clear Politics, PLAYING HARDBALL WITH MAUREEN DOWD, in which he makes some good points about this gal who probably needs a bit of the old Jeff Gannon to relieve some of that pent up whatever. 
I think it's nice that Jeff has finally found a new niche in journalism for himself: servicing the Maureen Dowds, Peggy Noonans, and Sean Hannitys of the world. 
(Hey, Maureen may not be Jeff's type, but a man's gotta do who a man's gotta do.  Escorting has a code of ethics you know -- unlike journalism.) 

7:43:38 PM    

The President and His Traveling Revival Show

From the LA Times:
WASHINGTON — The Bush administration today announced a 60-day, 60-stop barnstorming tour to promote the president's plan for overhauling Social Security, amid signs that public support is slipping and congressional anxiety rising.

President Bush and Treasury Secretary John Snow said they intended to hit the road one or two days a week from now until May 1 to promote Bush's Social Security initiative.
"We'll be taking the message out," Snow said. "We will be meeting with groups of our youngest workers. We'll be meeting with our oldest retirees. We'll be meeting with everybody in between."
"And by "everybody in between," they apparently mean, "some hand-picked people, and you're not one of them."

Say, for instance, you want to get tickets for the President's meeting at Notre Dame.  Well, tough beans, because the local paper says the general public can't get any. 
Tickets to President Bush's trip on Friday to the University of Notre Dame are not being made available to the general public.

Tickets for the president's stop to promote his Social Security reform proposal are being distributed to local groups on a nonpartisan basis through the office of Rep. Chris Chocola, a White House spokesman said.
When asked whether there is any way for the general public to obtain tickets to see the president, Kochvar said, "Not right now."
Kochvar was apparently more blunt in his response to this reporter:
A spokesman for Chocola says there's no way right now that the average person will get a ticket to see the president.
Take that, average person -- you wouldn't have supported the President's privatization plan anyway!
Bloomberg has a very interesting and informative piece about the plan to sell America on social security reform.  Here are a few highlights:
The Social Security fight has all the trappings of a Rove campaign: the targeting of key constituencies; the marshalling of the Republican Party apparatus; the enlistment of allies among Democrats; and the encouragement of well-heeled outside supporters, often to mount attacks on the opposition.

``I don't think there is any question that Karl Rove is masterminding the whole Social Security strategy,'' says Stephen Moore, president of the Washington-based Free Enterprise Fund, which backs private savings accounts. ``The White House feels it can't afford to lose on this.''
So, expect that only scripted questions will be allowed in these "town meetings," that demonstrators will end up in Gitmo, and that some rich Bush supporters will fund a group dedicated to making stupid people believe that the current Social Security plan is what's keeping them bald, poor, and from being successful with the opposite sex.  (Oh, and folks, this group found that Social Security has been saying bad things about you behind your back, hangs out with Michael Moore, and likes the Dixie Chicks.)
``The White House is running this as if it's a political campaign,'' says Moore, who did not attend the Feb. 24 meeting. ``There are regular meetings the White House has with all the groups to make sure everyone is singing from the same hymnal.''
Bush traveled to nine states, from Florida to North Dakota, during a three-week period last month to lead rallies and stir up public support. He'll intensify his campaign by continuing to travel the country, including trips to New Jersey and Indiana March 4. 
Because that's what we pay the President for: to spend his term campaigning to be the President of Social Security.
Bush critics charge that the Rove-devised Social Security campaign is politically driven and may not even resolve the central funding issue facing the retirement system.

``It seems to be about selling rather than listening,'' says Paul O'Neill, Bush's first Treasury secretary. ``If it just turns out to be an athletic contest, then it's worthless.''
Hey, it doesn't matter if his resolves anything.  No, what matters is that Bush wins on the issue, thus proving to his father that he's better at presidenting that Dad was.  Plus, if he can sell the rubes on social security reform, then he automatically gets a mandate for his hand-picked successor, Condi Bush.
This part of the story was especially disturbing:
Bush backers were out in force at another rally, on Feb. 10 in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania. The president spoke for 15 minutes about what he said was Social Security's path to bankruptcy, interviewed pre-selected citizens on stage who said they support him, and then called on the audience to urge lawmakers to approve the private accounts.

As during the presidential campaign, few people who oppose Bush's plans have made it to the rallies, since tickets are distributed by Republican lawmakers.

``We were told automatically to stop people that had protest signs, or any type of sign, and if they tried getting that in then we would ask to see their ticket and then rip it up,'' says Jesse Branch, a 21-year-old volunteer usher at a rally Bush held in Great Falls, Montana, which was attended by Rove.

Tough tactics are also a calling card of Rove campaigns. USA Next, a Washington-based group, plans to spend about $10 million to advertise on television and radio and to reach people through e-mail, direct mail and by telephone, Chairman Charlie Jarvis says. The group placed an ad on the Web site of the American Spectator magazine last week saying that AARP, the largest lobby for elderly Americans and an opponent of private savings accounts, supports same-sex marriage.

Jarvis denies he was working with the Bush administration. Even so, he says he's using some of the same consultants who worked with the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, a group that caused a furor last August when it ran advertisements questioning Kerry's war record. The Swift Boat Veterans were financed partly by Houston homebuilder Bob Perry, a friend of Rove
Yes, your President is spending up to 20% of his time (and big chunks of your money) traveling around the country to sell you on his administration's policies.  And you aren't even allowed to attend his meetings!

Oh, and while his friends may have hired the guys behind the Swift Boat Vets to smear a few Democratic leaders or something in order to keep you from being swayed by those who claim that Social Security is okay (and could stay okay inthe future if the rich just gave back their tax cuts), this doesn't mean that his program can't stand on its own merits.  No, it just means that Karl Rove loves plotting, scheming, and dirty tricking, and George can't say no to the little dickens.

And the Wash Post's Dan Froomkin has a great collection of quotes and clips about this issue.  Here's a sample:
Over on, the other Web site I work for, an authority on the presidency today writes that Bush may actually be inventing a new political practice for a sitting president, by only speaking before screened audiences. Jeffrey K. Tulis, a government professor at the University of Texas at Austin and author of "The Rhetorical Presidency," writes that George Washington "was intent on establishing the precedent that the president was chosen to represent the whole country, not just his partisan supporters."
But see, if you have a mandate, you can tell the 49% of the country who didn't support you to go screw themselves -- and apparently George Washington didn't have a mandate, or he would have known this.
Presidents traditionally didn't stump for policy, either. And, Tulis writes, "when Presidents Theodore Roosevelt and Woodrow Wilson began the modern practice of appealing over the heads of Congress to the people at large on speaking tours -- which they did to politically diverse audiences -- they both felt compelled to defend and justify their departure from previous practice."
But 9/11 changed everything.  And if George Bush doesn't stump, then the terrorists ... I mean, social security has won.

8:20:30 AM

March 2, 2005 by s.z.


1.  After reading our piece about cheesy post-Rapture flicks from the '70s, Kip lets us know about Apocamon, which seems to tell the story of what happens when the people who miss the Rapture are afflicted with Pokemon monsters.   (It cost .25 to access the comics, and we couldn't afford that, so all we know is what we saw on the main page . . . which is scary enough.

2.  Over at GrabTheMic, Paul "Joins the Dots."  Also, scroll down to "Hinderaker Strikes Out Again" and you can submit your own manly yet hilarious names to Paul's list.

3.  Julia at Sisyphus Shrugged reports that the new reason to give federal money to faith-based enterprises is that the groups have "shared values and religious identity."  (Like she said, it used to be the results that were cited when passing out the checks.)  .And I guess that shared religious identity is the kind of thing that the government should use tax money to reward (you know, instead of wasting it on poor people and such).
4.  Mykeru has some fun stuff, including Not Jeff Gannon's return to public life.

Tomorrow, even more great stuff from around the Blogoverse and parts beyond!

8:29:35 AM    

Over There!

I have two new posts up at Pandagon.  One is about the editing of WSJ's "OpinionJournal" and also touches on the CIA and John Tierney.  The other one is about Mike Gallagher and geeky losers.  Hopefully they can inspire the trolls to a higher class of trollery.  (BTW, you guys were mighty entertaining over there yesterday.)

7:56:24 AM    

Who Said It?

Our results from last time: 

1. The "liberal indoctrination camp" guy was Jack Fowler.  Point to Vivek.

2.  Ms. "MoveOnOrg compares Bush to Hitler" was Michelle Malkin  Point to Clif (whose blog you should be reading for up-to-the-minute news on wingnuts).

UPDATE: Michelle has added a correction to her original post (which indicates that didn't compare Bush to Hitler), and added a new post noting the correction.  I have to say that I think that was a very classy was to handle the issue.

3.   Mr. "Women don't write hard sci-fi because they can't hack physics" was Vox Day (who also wrote the novel "filled with otherworldly creatures and all-out spiritual warfare").  Another point to Vivek 
(Oh, and as Christopher pointed out, Vox also writes: "And in the world of female political non-fiction, the situation is arguably worse. Only Ann Coulter even tries to write serious books..."

4.  The guy who kept his Columbian Gold under a frisbee in his Z28 was Doug Giles.  Point to fadedout.

5.  The guy who thinks the left is anti-Semitic because Michael Moore keeps saying Wolfowitz's name was indeed Michael Medved (again).  ANOTHER point to Vivek.

6.  The "journalist" who will not be silenced (except for those times that he is), and who requests donations to keep things that way is  "Jeff Gannon."  A point to john b.

And a bonus point to fadedout for being the first to successfully name all our Mystery Guests in one comment. 

Oh, and a belated point to D. Sidhe, who would have been the first to guess Frank Luntz a few days ago if he hadn't stopped to check the spelling of Luntz's name.  I hope this has taught you all the peril of good spelling.

Congrats to our winners, who are encouraged to save up their points, since 100 of them can be exchanged for any item in the WorldNetDaily Half Price Store (now featuring books by John Stossel, Dr. Laura, and Linda Chavez, as well as personally autographed copies of Michelle Malkin's Invasion.) 

 Now, Who Said This?
1.  Recycling teaches the themes that previous generations of schoolchildren learned from that Puritan classic, "The Pilgrim's Progress." {...] Today's schoolchildren, though, might be confused by one character encountered on Bunyan's road to salvation: a man, the source of our word "muckraker," who is busy raking together a compost pile. This recycler of household waste isn't presented as a role model for the pilgrim. He's a symbol of moral blindness because, instead of looking up to see the heavenly rewards awaiting him, he "could look no way but downwards, with a muck-rake in his hand." In Bunyan's time, it would have been hard to imagine that pilgrims would one day be taught to search for salvation right down there in the muck.
2.  Who is being referred to (and quoted) in this news item?
WASHINGTON  [...] said today that there is no constitutional guarantee of separation of church and state. He said that as the Supreme Court prepared to take up a case challenging the display of the Ten Commandments on the Texas Capitol grounds.

[...] says -- quote -- "I hope the Supreme Court will finally read the Constitution and see there's no such thing, or no mention, of separation of church and state in the Constitution."
3.  And what commentator wrote this?:
[I]f a preacher wants to be on TV, or court the masses, or achieve the psychic gratification of wielding thousands of worshippers, he must turn his church into a kind of religious Wal Mart—a huge religious emporium complete with restaurants, recording studios, projections screens and stadium seating. Parishioners flock to these structures like the apes to the monolith in 2001. But, it costs money to keep these mammoth structures running. More often than not, the preachers turn to corporate sponsorship to pay the bills.
Hint: he knows a lot about "sponsorship" . . . 

(This this Mystery Guest was suggested by a reader, who will get a hat-tip when we reveal the answers, since doing it now would make it too easy to cheat, and we don't want any of you getting autographed copies of Michelle Malkin books by committing morally unsavory acts.)

12:59:24 AM 

March 1, 2005 by s.z.

Biblical Fun!

was going to wait until we got closer to Easter for this, but you all look like you could use some wholesome activities right about now -- so check out DLTK's Bible Activities!  (It offers hours of fun for homeschoolers, Sunday school teachers, and other people with a lot of time and construction paper on their hands.)

For instance, here's a craft idea that you might like:
Our hostess comments:
It may seem a tad odd making Jesus out of a toilet paper roll, but I think the end result is quite nice (Tasha has hers sitting in a place of honor on her bedroom shelf). 
Hey, I think that making replicas of Jesus out of toiletpaper rolls isn't a bit oddl!

*  The site also offers Veggie Tales crafts, such as:

 Frankencelery Paper Craft   Age2+    
What fun this will be for the little ones as they stitch together body parts from the bodies of dead vegetables which they have previously snatched from vegetable morgues (the garbage can)!  And it will be a great learning experience for them as they commit blasphemy by playing God and creating veggie monster life in the laboratory (It's alive, IT'S ALIVE)!  Imagine their delight when their unholy creation revolts, throws an innocent plum child down a well, menaces a blind rutabaga, and demands a bride made from the corpse of Chaquita Banana.  Oh, and the Biblical moment comes when the torch-wielding vegetable mob burns down the playroom, showing the kids that science is EVIL!  But wait, there's a sequel: Frankencelery Meets Wolfpeach (a fruit who was cursed by a lack of refrigeration, and develops an extra layer of fuzz when the moon is full).  Together they learn that we should obey our parents and clean up our rooms.

But my favorite section of this site is Bible Recipes!

*  Whose mouth wouldn't water when you serve up a batch of Baby Jesus Haystacks?  (The haystack is made from chocolate chips, peanut butter, and chowmein noodles.  Baby Jesus is a miniature marshmallow -- and I'm sure you'll find that he's very tasty.  Bet you can't eat just one of Him! )

*  And here's a recipe that's religious AND nutritious:
 Unleavened Bread and Tuna - represents Jesus feeding the five thousand   
The unleavened bread is made from:
1 1/2 cups sifted white flour
1/2 cup sifted wheat flour
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp sugar (if desired)
3/4 tsp baking soda
2 tsp shortening
1/2 cup warm water
But isn't baking soda a leavening agent, you ask?  Um, yes, not the way Jesus made it.
For the fishy filling, mix a can of tuna with some mayonnaise.  Serves 5000.

*  Here's a special treat for the Lenten season: Resurrection Cake

It's pretty easy to make, too -- just bake a chocolate cake in a round casserole dish, then place your round cake (representing Golgotha; that is to say, the place of a skull) on a field of green coconut.  Scoop out a cave in the side of it, and put a Hostess Dingdong boulder to the side of your "empty tomb".  Top the hill with three pretzel crosses, and write "He is Risen" in white frosting.  (While DLTK doesn't indicate as much, I bet you could make two adorable little thief corpses out of raisins and licorice, and put them on the pretzel crosses. 

Then dig in, because the hill where Our Lord was crucified and emtombed makes mighty tasting eating! 

*  And there's Rice Krispie Earth - creation story snack, which teaches kids that God just slapped together some Rice Krispies, marshmallows, and food coloring, called it good, and then rested.

*  How about another Easter dish?  This one sounds yummy: He's Alive Buns (because when you think of Jesus, you think of His living buns).  It's also simple to make:
Refrigerator Biscuits-1 roll (Pillsbury or similar)
Large Marshmallows-1 per biscuit
Melted butter
Sugar & Cinnamon mixture - I am not exactly sure on the amounts of butter and cinnamon/sugar, just enough to cover the buns.

Wrap one biscuit around 1 marshmallow. dip in butter and roll in cinnamon/sugar.

Bake as directed on the refrigerator biscuit package.

The Marshmallow will melt and the bun will be hollow inside.
This teaches the children that the reason Christ's tomb was empty is because Jesus melted (leaving only a sweet, chewy coating on the inside walls).
Share a passage like John 20 6:7 with your children or just:
When Mary told the disciples the stone had been removed from the entrance, the disciples ran to the tomb.  John was the first to arrive and look inside.  Peter entered and saw the linen that had been wrapped around Jesus lying flat as if the body evaporated.  The tomb was empty!  (just like the He's Alive Buns are empty)
But is He alive, or did He just evaporate?  The "He's Alive Buns" offer contradictory evidence.

* Here's a food that's greasy AND bossy: Obey Donuts   
Cut out holes in the middle of some canned biscuits, fry them, sprinkle them with powered sugar, and call them donuts.  But here's what makes them special:
Tell the children (or Youth and even Adults!) that we must obey God's Commandments and God's rules. The donut represents the letter "O" in obey. Let them know every time they have a donut, they are reminded to OBEY!
OBEY the donuts, kids!  Otherwise marshmallow Baby Jesus will cry.

*  Now, for something our Jewish friend can share: Moses Crosses the Red Sea Snack
Make some red Jello in a rectangular container -- it represents the Red Sea. 
Then give each child a Jelly bean [to represent Moses]each get a spoon and take turns eating their way through the middle to the other side.
At the end they can eat the Jelly beans.
This teaches kids that God helped Moses to miraculously traverse the Red Sea -- and then God ate him.

* Okay, one last Easter recipe:Easter Story Cookies - reinforce the story of Jesus crucifixion with these wonderful cookies
Basically these are just meringues, but with lots of teaching moments:
Start by preheating the oven to 300 degrees.  Then put a cup of pecans in a plastic bag.:
Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces.  Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was Beaten by the Roman soldiers. 
Isn't it fun to beat Jesus, kids?

Now measure 1 teaspoon of vinegar and put it in a bowl:
Let each child smell the vinegar. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink
Make the children drink some vinegar so they will know what Jesus went through.  Stab then with a spear if they whine.

Now, add 3 egg whites to the vinegar.
Eggs represent life.  Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.
Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand.  Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl.  Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.  Read Luke 23:27.

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing
Yes, we have the vinegar they gave Jesus to drink, the tears shed by his followers, our sin, and Jesus's clear, slimey eggwhite life.  Not very appetizing at all.

Then add a cup of sugar, and "explain the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us."  So, sugar represents death.
Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.  Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus
This part also represents how a good beating will help cleanse you of your sin, and also make you glossy and stiff.
Fold in broken nuts.  Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet.  Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid
We get to eat tombs again!
Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.  Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.  Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.  Read Matthew 27:65-66.

GO TO BED!  Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight.  Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed
Yes, Jesus' followers wanted cookies right then, and they were really sad they had to wait.  But then they learned that if they left the oven ON, Jesus would be done in about 20 minutes.
On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie.  Notice the cracked surface and take a bite.  The cookies are hollow!  On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. 
They probably thought that somebody sneaked into the oven during the night and ate Him.  Now, notice your cracked cookie and think about Jesus some more.

There are many more fun and educational projects at this site, and maybe we'll revist it again, as long as you promise that you're into it for the Biblical insights, and not just the sugar rush.  Thanks to Michael C. for suggesting this to us.

10:43:32 AM    


While I try to find something interesting to post about, here are some items  for your reading pleasuse (you will probably like them better than anything I could come up with anyway):

2.  Media in Trouble has a report about who might be the first victim of Alberto Gonzales's crusade against obscenity ...

3.  Rittenhouse Review reveals the sordid story of how Steve Forbes is now passing the begging bowl on the behalf of TownHall (it's just sad for both parties -- plus Midge Decter).
More in a bit, after I get my browser to shape up and fly right.

8:23:18 AM    

I Hit the Big Time!

As you may have heard, Jesse asked me to be one of his guest-bloggers at Pandagon while he's away for a week or so.  You'll want to watch the fun as I break his blog, alienate his readers, and destroy all he's worked for during the past couple of years.  Plus, there are trolls!

So stop by and see my first posts (one dealing with James Kerfuffle, and one about Rush, who is back from the poppy fields in time to give us his take on the Academy Awards).

Oh, and since I tried really hard to spell things right over there (which took a LOT Of time), posting here might be light today.

7:41:15 AM