Run Silent, Run Dumb

In his LA Times column today, Max (Das) Boot loads the forward torpedo tubes, takes the range and bearing of a geo-strategic threat to American interests, and fires! He’s wide of the target, but at least those bastards know they’ve been in a fight, once they spot the distinctive calling card Max invariably leaves behind: a yellow dye stain and a couple of floaters.

However, today Das Boot gives it right full rudder and strays from his usual course. Boldly breaking ranks with the other Borden Sunshine Makers, Max confronts certain uncomfortable developments in the Graveyard of Armies:

NOT LONG AGO, Afghanistan appeared to be doing much better than Iraq in spite of getting much less American help. But in the last year, a surge in Taliban activity has endangered the hard-won achievements of the 2001-2004 period. Roadside bombings and suicide attacks are up. Parts of the countryside are in the Taliban’s grip. Opium production is hitting record levels. Already this year coalition forces have suffered more fatalities in Afghanistan (163) than they did in all of 2005 (130) to say nothing of 2004 (58). 

And as it that weren’t enough, Dr. John H. Watson has been shot by a Jezail bullet in either the shoulder or the leg.  Fortunately, Max cinches up his sack and finally places the blame for America’s failed efforts in Afghanistan precisely where it belongs:  It’s Pakistan’s fault. 

After making some efforts to curb Taliban activity, President Pervez Musharraf seems to have thrown in the towel. He has agreed to withdraw troops from Waziristan, turning over a frontier area the size of New Jersey to Taliban supporters. He also released from prison about 2,500 foreign fighters linked to the Taliban and Al Qaeda. Since those actions, U.S. officials report that Taliban attacks in the eastern provinces of Afghanistan have tripled. 

Hm.  Well, when your ally concludes a separate peace, it is not traditionally regarded as a vote of confidence in your prosecution of the war.  Still, that can’t be our fault. 

Pakistan isn’t just turning a blind eye to Taliban activity. Its Inter-Services Intelligence agency seems to be increasing the amount of training and logistical support it provides to Islamist militants — and not just in Afghanistan.

Hmmm.  Okay, when your former ally actually switches sides in the war, that may look bad, but this kind of thing happens all the time – Afghan warlord Abdul Rashid Dostum did it frequently during the war between the Taliban and the Northern Alliance; the Romanians, Bulgarians, and Italians did it in the waning days of World War II; and a girl with nuclear boots and drip dry gloves did it in The Cars 1978 hit, “She’s My Best Friend’s Girl.”  This is just the sort of treachery that historians and tall, cadaverous, shag-capped rock stars have recounted since the dawn of civilization, and it clearly has no connection to our policy of invading Afghanistan with the stated intention of rebuilding the entire society from the ground up, laying the first brick with great ceremony, then getting bored and leaving.  I mean come on, talk about blaming the victim.

But Max isn’t going to let us get off scot-free.  Although it pains him to admit that a man he respects, admires, and unstintingly supports has failed us, still he must swallow the bitter pill of intellectual honesty and bring him to account: 

The fault isn’t all Musharraf’s. Afghan President Hamid Karzai deserves some blame for not doing more to spread good governance to the southern and eastern provinces. 

I sympathize with Max, because I suffered an identical disappointment in the early 1990s with Los Angeles Mayor Tom Bradley’s feeble efforts to stop the Shining Path guerrillas in Peru. 

What should the U.S. do? Sending more troops isn’t in the cards. 

He’s right.  Much as it pains me to risk the lives of imaginary soldiers, if there’s one place we should be sending those additional troops we don’t have, it’s Iraq. 

Instead of sending more GIs, we should send more greenbacks. 

Gah!  Typical knee jerk Republican response to a problem:  throw money at it. 

We’ve spent more than twice as much per capita in Iraq. U.S. aid briefly soared to $4.3 billion in fiscal year 2005, then dropped to $3 billion in fiscal year 2006. The fiscal year 2007 request is for just $1.1 billion, although there will undoubtedly be a supplemental appropriation. 

Because those are easier to hide from the public.  Anyway, once all the blame has been affixed like so many Post-It notes, Max feels it’s finally safe to bring President Bush out for a bow in the final paragraph: 

President Bush needs to play hardball with Musharraf, telling him that American support for a free Afghanistan will never waver but that support for Musharraf’s regime will be jeopardized if he doesn’t do more to curb the Taliban. Musharraf needs to get the message — as he did after 9/11 — that it’s more important to placate Uncle Sam than the radical Islamic parties. 

Based on the General’s recent actions – surrendering Waziristan to the Taliban, giving Osama bin Laden a hall pass, and telling the world that he only ever pretended to be George’s friend because some of the bigger kids threatened to bomb him back to the Paleolithic era if he didn’t play with him — I have a feeling Musharraf has already concluded that the threat roiling on his own frontier is far more important to placate than a snippy, but easily distracted President of the United States.   And if a revivified opium trade that will mostly inconvenience the DEA is the price he has to pay for running out the clock on the Bush Administration, it’s small wonder our erstwhile ally has opted out of the War on Terror in favor of flogging his book on the Daily Show. 

We know bring you today’s bumper sticker, courtesy of a certain Senior Fellow at the Council on Foreign Relations.

AFGHANISTAN:  IF YOU’RE NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION, IT’S PROBABLY SOME BROWN GUY’S FAULT.

Posted by scott on Wednesday, October 4th, 2006 at 6:13 pm.

4 Responses to “Run Silent, Run Dumb”

Hey, where is everybody? This is World O’ Crap, for cryin’ out loud!
It must be technical difficulties. Yeah, that’s it.
Oh well. As long as I’m here…
HASTERT!

Left by Kip W on October 4th, 2006

The only thing I can figure about the LAT’s columnists is that, being on Pacific time, they figure 3/4 of the country will never read ‘em anyway. It’s the late-night programming of political punditry.
C’mon, everybody knew what the story was with Musharraf five years ago. We had to have him and we paid him off (if Dick Armitage threatened anybody, and I doubt it, it was a stone bluff). Musharraf couldn’t have withstood the internal pressure if he’d really gone after the Taliban, so he made a play of cooperation for as long as he could, or until the contract ran out, and then he capitulated. Why was there a two-year string of “#2 Man in al-Qaeda” captures and rub-outs, and why didn’t we get anything out of it except warnings that the Golden Gate bridge and some mall in Bismark were the next Terra Targets? Because he played the same game as our own state and local officials: he saw the opportunity to fleece Uncle Sugar and he took it, and now the US has nothing left to offer or threaten anybody with, and we’re back to normal.
(By the way, Scott, it took a good five minutes for me to get over the Cars bit so I could type this.)

Left by Doghouse Riley on October 4th, 2006

Scott,
Musharaff’s equation is really simple:
Bush = 2 more years
Osama = ?
Taliban = ?
Al Qaeda = For as long as they can
The math is really easy.

Left by actor212 on October 4th, 2006

I dunno how you make something that awful that funny, but I appreciate it. My favorite was the Watson bit, but I’m odd that way.

Left by D. Sidhe on October 5th, 2006

June 29, 2006 by s.z.(2)

Note:  This piece was originally published by Salon on December 9, 2002.

TOPIC:

Ann Coulter

MONDAY, DEC 9, 2002 15:52 ET

R is for rabid

Liberals are poopie-heads! and other lessons for the children of far-right-thinking adults in Ann Coulter's new kids book, "I Know You Are but What Am I."

BY SHERI ZOLLINGER

Conservative columnist Ann Coulter announced today that she has written a children's book, joining such celebrities as Jerry Seinfeld, John Lithgow and Spike Lee in the kid-lit field. Coulter says her book "I Know You Are but What Am I?" is aimed at the 4-to-6 age group and reflects such old-fashioned values as self-reliance, hard work and bigotry.

Claims Coulter, "Children are being ill-served by the liberal publishing industry that tries to sell them a bill of goods about how 'self-esteem' and 'compassion' will get them somewhere in life. They need books that show them the value of being white, Christian and middle-class -- now, while they are still young enough to make use of the message."

Coulter asserts that her book not only prepares children for life by teaching them basic facts, such as "Liberals are wrong about everything," but also helps them to cope with the rigors of the playground.

"Let's face it -- children can be cruel in their taunts and teasing. My book helps arm your children by giving them better, crueler invective and more creative taunts to lob at their opponents."

Coulter's effort is an "I Can Read It Myself" book, since the author believes that children should pull themselves up by their own bootstraps and get literate, instead of relying on parents to read to them, or on teachers to teach them.

She also feels that a diet of fantasy books about such characters as Harry Potter and Winnie the Pooh has a deleterious effect on young people's ambition and drive.

"Children have been led to believe that you can just wave your magic wand or find a honey tree, and all your wants are met. Clearly, this is part of the Democratic agenda, which wants to keep children helpless and dependent on the party's largesse, instead of encouraging them to get jobs and support themselves. I think it's time we cut off this parental 'welfare system' for pre-adults and got them back to working in coal mines and chimneys, like their forefathers did. That's why the characters in my book are strong, self-sufficient 6-year-olds who live in the real world, where they work, pay taxes and invade Iraq."

Coulter's editor at Crown's children's division, Mary Lou Perkins, denied having any concerns about the information presented in the book. "'I Know You Are but What Am I?' has footnotes and citations, and probably dozens of facts, so I'm sure it's all accurate and true. And it has lovely illustrations showing the Little Red Hen doing all the work to make the bread and then eating it all herself while the other animals die of starvation. And there are charming pictures showing little American children throwing rocks at children of other nations. I think many parents will find it just the kind of book they've been seeking for their families."

Coulter's book faces competition not just from celebrities, but also from bestselling adult authors, including Michael Chabon, Carl Hiaasen and Toni Morrison, who are joining the children's book industry. But "I Know You Are but What Am I?" has something the others don't -- a photo of the author wearing a low-cut, black vinyl minidress. Coulter denies that this photo might be inappropriate for a children's book.

"Fathers buy 70 percent of the books for their children these days, and I just wanted to give them something to look at while they're rummaging through all the other books, with their bunnies and kittens. And while it's true that a short skirt and blond hair let you get away with a lot, I don't think I'm sending a message to little girls that they can get away with not doing their homework if they just dress like a tart and look cute. I think that is the kind of immoral liberal message sent by the rapist and traitor Bill Clinton."

- - - - - - - - - - -

An excerpt from "I Know You Are but What Am I?"

Chapter 1
Liberals Have Cooties

Tom called Betty and Susan.
"Come and see," he said.
"Come and see the New York Times¹ compare the president to Hitler."

"That's mean!" said Susan.
"Liberals are bad!
They hate us and call us names and want to take away our guns!"

"Yeah!" said Betty.
"And they like to suck the brains out of little babies." 

"And conspire with terrorists," said Tom. "They are poopie-heads."

Susan said, "Yes, they are poopie-heads. We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to conservatism."

"Let's ask Father to help us kill and convert them," said Tom. "But now, I want to go to the park. Let's go have fun."

"Oh, yes!" said Betty.
"Let's take Flip the Dog and go to the park."

Away they went to the park.
Tom said, "I like the park.
I like looking for treasure in the park."

"Me too!" said Betty.
"Look what I found.
I found a note.
My note says, 'I killed Vince Foster. Signed, Bill Clinton.'"²

"That is a good note to find," said Susan. "Let's take it to the attorney general!"

"Yes," said Tom.
"We will take it to John Ashcroft.
Then the internment camps for liberals can begin!"

"Goodie!" said Betty.
"Let's run to the White House and start the purges!" 

1. New York Times, Sept. 31, 2002, C-22 "Rockefeller to Wed Higgensbottom." 2. Weekly World News, April 1, 1995, A-1 "Vince Foster's Ghost Accuses Hillary of Having Alien Baby"

June 7, 2006 by scott

Meet the Press in Hell

Imagine if you will a network news program where the host believes that his obligation as a journalist is to place evil on the same footing as good (so that evil will stop complaining about how the media always favors good). Tonight on Media Twilight Zone, we will visit just such a program.

Yes, inspired by Ann Coulter’s recent appearance on NBC News (and many similar occurrences), Scott came up with this little eschatological drama, which is submitted for your approval.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Tim Russert: Thank you for joining us. Today on our panel we’re proud to have bestselling author and Constitutional expert Ann Coulter, and author and internet sensation Michelle Malkin. Our guest in studio this morning is Jesus Christ, leader of the Heavenly Host. Joining us by satellite is his opponent, Bob Satan, Chairman of the National Republican Committee for a New World Order, and author of the bestselling guides to conservative parenting, Fatherhood: of All Lies,and O-Me! O-My! O-Men! Raising Antichrists That Liberals Will Hate. He joins us from the Green Zone in Megiddo. Mr. Satan, thank you for being here.

Satan: Always a pleasure, Tim.

Russert: Mr. Satan, let’s start with you. Yesterday the New York Times reported that forces of the New World Order swept through a village, burned it to the ground, then decapitated every man, woman and child who lived there. They hung the victims by their heels until they were utterly desanguinated, then the soldiers made sausage from their blood and threw a large pancake breakfast while dogs and vultures feasted on the flesh of the innocent. This has caused some on Capitol Hill to question whether we have a clear strategy for victory. How would you respond?

Satan: Tim, this is just the Left’s way of saying, fine, let’s just cut and run. We shouldn’t even be in Armageddon, we shouldn’t even be fighting a battle to bring about the end of the world.

Russert: So you think this story is mostly partisan.

Satan: Absolutely! Look, this is war. We’re fighting an enemy that is determined to utterly destroy us and rule for a thousand years. If these allegations turn out to be true, then we may have a few bad apples in the barrel. But 99.9999% of our troops are doing a great job day after day, under incredibly difficult circumstances. And sometimes, in the stress of the moment, some of them may snap and make bloodwurst out of children. Can any of us honestly say that, given the same circumstances, we wouldn’t do the same thing?

Jesus: Yes! There are clear–

Satan: Well, look who’s casting the first stone.

Jesus: –clear rules of engagement design to prevent this kind of–

Russert: Mr. Christ, let him finish.

Satan: Look, the point is that there are lots of people who may have sincerely held beliefs about whether it’s appropriate to grind noncombatants into sausage, but I hardly think that Mr. Christ’s record entitles him to get holier than thou on the topic of children.

Jesus: That’s the most outrageous–

Russert: I’m sorry, we’ve got to take a break, but we’ll let you finish that thought when we come back.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK. FADE BACK UP ON MTP STUDIO, WHERE TIM RUSSERT IS STRIPPED TO THE WAIST AND SCOURGING HIMSELF WITH A NAIL-STUDDED LEATHER PLAIT).

Russert: Thanks again for joining us on Meet the Press. Now, I want to get back to Jesus
Christ–

Jesus: Thank you, Tim. As I was–

Russert: What do you say to those people who claim you’re a pedophile?

Jesus: What?!

Russert: I’d like to play a soundbite from — Jimmy, do we have that? I think it’s at Mark 10:14?

(JESUS ON MONITOR: “Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God.”)

Russert: Are those your words?

Jesus: Yes, but–

Russert: Now there are those who say you were clearly defending the North American Man-Boy Love Association with that statement.

Satan: Tim–

Jesus: No! Look, that was taken completely out of context!

Satan: Tim, the point is, liberals like Mr. Christ and the New York Times think we shouldn’t even be in Armageddon because we’re just there to defend Israel. That is a completely anti-Semitic attitude.

Russert: Mr. Christ, what do you say to accusations that you’re opposed to fighting a battle to bring about the end of all life on Earth because you’re an Anti-Semite?

Jesus: Well, first of all, I’d like to point out that I myself am Jewish–
Ann Coulter: Yeah! Just like George Soros. Another Jew who somehow figured out a way to avoid crucifixion.

Jesus: I WAS crucified! (DISPLAYS WOUNDS IN HANDS)

Michelle Malkin: Why don’t people ask him more specific questions about the nails in his hands and feet? There are legitimate questions about whether or not they were self-inflicted wounds.

Russert: What do you mean self-inflicted? Are you suggesting Mr. Christ crucified himself on purpose?

Michelle Malkin: Did you read the book by Barabbas and the Golgotha Veterans for Truth? Some of the thieves who were actually crucified have made allegations that these were self-inflicted wounds.

Jesus: I did not NAIL MYSELF to the cross!

Michelle Malkin: These are men who were there, and they were just TIED to their crosses–

Russert: So you’re saying he maybe used a nail gun? That he did this for sympathy, or publicity–?

Michelle Malkin: So there are doubts about whether or not it was nails or not. And I wish you would ask these questions of Jesus Christ instead of me.

Jesus: I would like a chance to respond–

Russert: We’ve got to go to a break, but we’ll come right back to you, I promise. When we return on Meet the Press.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK. FADE BACK UP ON MEET THE PRESS STUDIO. TIM IS DRINKING A CHALICE OF GOAT’S BLOOD AND LIGHTING A BLACK CANDLE).

Russert: We’re back with our guests, Bob Satan and Jesus Christ, and our panel Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter. Ann, I’d like to read you a statement by the Virgin Mary, Chairwoman of Mothers Against Armageddon–

Ann Coulter: Oh please. This broad is a millionaire, lionized on frescoes and in scripture about her, reveling in her status as a saint, and stalked by Madonna-parazzies. I have never seen a woman enjoying her son’s death so much.

Russert: Well, her statement — Jimmy, do we have–?

Ann Coulter: This is the left’s doctrine of infallibility. If they have a point to make about Armageddon, about how to fight the war on terrorism, how about sending in somebody we are allowed to respond to? No-No-No. We always have to respond to someone who lost her husband in the Apocalypse. Or some child of a soldier who died at Megiddo. Or some mother whose son died for our sins. God, I hate these bitches!

Jesus: I’d just like to–

Satan: Now I’m an old-fashioned guy. I believe in mothers, and family, and I think marriage is a sacred institution between one man and one woman for the begetting and raising of Anti-Christs. But my opponent seems to have a more casual view of it, since he married a prostitute.

Jesus: I did NOT!

Satan: Have you read the book?

Jesus: That was a novel!

Satan: Do you deny this story was widely printed?

Jesus: It was fiction!

Satan: Oh, I see. So 50 million people who read that book are all wrong, and you’re right. Tim, you see, this is why the people in this country don’t trust the media. This is a perfect example of the insulated, inside-the-beltway attitude of establishment liberals who are out of touch with everyday Americans.

Jesus: It was a NOVEL!

Russert: Yes, but he raises a good point about credibility. You position yourself as the Prince of Peace — I’d just like to play soundbite for you –

(JESUS ON MONITOR: “Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man?s enemies will be the members of his household.”)

Russert: Now there are some people who say that’s a very anti-family attitude.

Jesus: Look, you can’t just take Bible verses out of context and expect to–

Russet: I’m afraid we’re out of time. Satan, I’ll give you the last word.

Satan: Well, Tim, you and your kind will perish slowly, skinned alive then boiled in a cauldron of blood and urine until the meat falls from your bones, and your decayed and maggot-ridden flesh will be consumed by the Beast, and you will languish in torment in his belly for seven years, screaming all the while though you have no mouth –

Russert: Ha, ha! I’m afraid we’re going to have to end it there, just when things were getting good. Satan, always fun to have you on.

Posted by s.z. on Wednesday, June 7th, 2006 at 1:36 am.

Frist??? OMG, I must be the first because I’m on the other side of the pond. Scott, that was a thing of beauty. Made me choke on my brekkie laughing! Seriously funny stuff. Thanks!

Left by celticgirl on June 7th, 2006

Delicious and spot-on!

Left by ET on June 7th, 2006

That was great, but, uh, did you mean for the funniest part to be “Bob Satan”, or am I just undermedicated again?

Left by D. Sidhe on June 7th, 2006

Scott, it wasn’t until Malkin spoke up that you hit your stride, but damn, that was some funny satire!

Left by actor212 on June 7th, 2006

Oh…can I say “damn” in front of Mr. Christ?

Left by actor212 on June 7th, 2006

Nicely done!

Left by mark on June 7th, 2006

Oh. MY. (wait for it…) GAWD!!
If it wasn’t so close to the truth I wouldn’t be sitting here laughing my ass off while part of my reptilian brain hisses in recognition that this wee vignette is the way it really is.
Nicely done!

Left by Neena Bean on June 7th, 2006

Brilliant!

Left by Creature on June 7th, 2006

Is it too early to nominate this post for a Koufax Award?

Left by "Fair and Balanced" Dave on June 7th, 2006

Hahahahahahahahaha! And omitting any mention what-so-ever of the Clintons’ sex life made it even *more* Twilight Zoney!!!

Left by katrina on June 7th, 2006

ouch! That was a little too close to reality.
Excellent work!

Left by Ted on June 7th, 2006

“Is it too early to nominate this post for a Koufax Award?”
Yes, but remember this for when the time comes, I will!

Left by gimmeabreak on June 7th, 2006

Oh, f…That was brilliant. Beautiful. And take this as a compliment, but I imagined the whole thing played out in South Park animation.

Left by Johnny M on June 7th, 2006

Ann Coulter and Satan in the same room? How can that be?

Left by Hysterical Woman on June 7th, 2006

“You position yourself as the Prince of Peace�I�d just like to play soundbite for you�”
Funny because it’s a great parody of �Press the Meat��that and it is a sad reflection of what happens on that show every Sunday….

Left by Boulder Dude on June 7th, 2006

May your server crash and burn (not really) from the weight of traffic to this most excellent of takedowns. Bravo!!!

Left by catalexis on June 7th, 2006

meet the press in hell
Meet the Press in Hell….

Left by Particles on June 7th, 2006

Meet the Press goes to Hell
If you’re as tired of he said/she said journalism as many of us are, you’ll appreciate this:Tim Russert: Thank you for joining us. Today on our panel we?re proud to have bestselling author and Constitutional expert Ann Coulter, and author…

Left by Linkmeister on June 7th, 2006

Excellent…this was among the best parodies I’ve seen lately, and the quantity of real quotes is just staggering.
Nice work – keep it up.

Left by Matt on June 7th, 2006

Wicked Good Stuff! Keep it up indeed!
BTW, if someone familiar with the real quotes involved (not counting the Russert segues) has the time, I’d love to see a listing of which of these quotes are real (maybe a link to your site?)…
Bravo!!!

Left by Mark on June 7th, 2006

Ann Coulter and Satan in the same room? How can that be?
careful use of the 2 camera system and bluescreen technology

Left by preznit giv me turkee on June 7th, 2006

That was the best laugh I’ve had today!
Thanks!

Left by ecostudent on June 8th, 2006

Very nice.
I don’t understand how people can stand to watch those shows in real life.
This version is hilarious, though.

Left by Christopher on June 8th, 2006

[...] Courtesy of World O’ Crap Productions starring Tim Russert, Jesus Christ (Leader of the Heavenly Hosts), Bob Satan (Chairman of the Republican Committee for a New World Order),  Ann Coulter (Constitutional expert), and Michelle Malkin (internet sensation). [...]

Left by Dark Sun » Beastly Drama on June 8th, 2006

That�was�superb! I�m emailing a copy to Bob right now. We may even erect some kind of golden statue in your honor.

Left by The Devil's Advocate on June 8th, 2006

[...] A transcript from World O’Crap, with Tim Russert and panelists Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Satan (“Call me Bob”) and Jesus Christ. A taste: Russert: Mr. Christ, what do you say to accusations that you’re opposed to fighting a battle to bring about the end of all life on Earth because you’re an Anti-Semite? [...]

Left by Crooked Timber » » Meet the Press in Hell on June 8th, 2006

[...] A priceless transcript from World O’Crap, with Tim Russert and panelists Michelle Malkin, Ann Coulter, Satan (“Call me Bob”) and Jesus Christ. A taste: Russert: Mr. Christ, what do you say to accusations that you’re opposed to fighting a battle to bring about the end of all life on Earth because you’re an Anti-Semite? [...]

Left by Kieran Healy’s Weblog » Blog Archive » Meet the Press in Hell on June 8th, 2006

[...] While poor Seb was reduced to hiring an untalented hack like me, the lovely and snarkerific Ms S.Z. of World O’Crap went out and hired my non-union Mexican equivalent, Scott, who does five time the work I do, and is ten times as funny: Russert: Mr. Christ, what do you say to accusations that you�re opposed to fighting a battle to bring about the end of all life on Earth because you�re an Anti-Semite? [...]

Left by Sadly, No! » *APPLAUSE* on June 8th, 2006

Hi Tim
Thanks for inviting me on to the show the other night – I think it was a fruitful discussion that let viewers know just where we all stand.
I think you should know that my contacts in the Black House tell me that Christ only got the crucifixion gig anyway because his mother worked undercover for Herod. You might like to use that tip in your next report.
see ya in Hell!
Bob

Left by Bob Satan on June 9th, 2006

[...] I’ve always thought that the best way to deal with idiots like Ann Coulter is to make fun of them. But you have to do it well, and the vast majority of left-wing political bloggers are way too shrill, earnest, and overly-emotional about what they write to be funny. This, on the other hand, is very funny indeed. Other posts by Cheryl Morgan [...]

Left by Cheryl’s Mewsings » That’s The Way to Do It: Science Fiction and Fantasy News on June 9th, 2006

OMFG! Too funny! Well done! Yeppers, this one’s going on my list for Koufax.

Left by Gentlewoman on June 9th, 2006

More quick hits.
Indie or mentally challenged? Meet the Press in Hell The Church of Not Getting It. Arlen Specter sucks. Absolutely sucks. And here are the Democrats that ought to be punished. Groovy, one-room, self-contained hotel. “Three elderly people spen[t] three…

Left by apostropher on June 10th, 2006

To the Editors:
wow, you really did a great job of swiping an advance transcript!
When does it air on Fox?

Left by Satan luvvs Repugs on June 10th, 2006

All persons expressing these views are
sick in the head, either on drugs or just
evil minded bastards, self important egotists who will thrive in Hell. They
can leave the Earth and never be missed
and leave no legacy here for having lived!

Left by Anonymous on June 10th, 2006

[...] Russert: Mr. Christ, let him finish. [...]

Left by Oh So Shameless » Meet the Press… in hell. on June 10th, 2006

you have been linked to MetaFilter.
http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/52227

Left by Anonymous on June 10th, 2006

So Satan is real.
Who knew?

Left by Joshua S. Rubenstein on June 10th, 2006

Boze moj! People have been sent away for erm …re:education fow WAY less you know!
Just so you know, you’ve been linked to the Yakima Gulag Literary Gazett

Left by Katja on June 10th, 2006

What night was that show. I think I missed it?

Left by Golgatha Twin on June 10th, 2006

[...] Meet the Press … in Hell. Tim Russert: We’re back with our guests, Bob Satan and Jesus Christ, and our panel Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter. Ann, I’d like to read you a statement by the Virgin Mary, Chairwoman of Mothers Against Armageddon— [...]

Left by Meet the Press … in Hell at Musings of a Chicagoan on June 10th, 2006

“We may even erect some kind of golden statue in your honor.” A nice golden calf sounds good.

Left by Craig Shergold on June 11th, 2006

Sorry, folks.
This wasn’t funny, wasn’t clever… it was just plain dull… as were the responses.
The uproar surrounding Coulter’s book… well, she’s got something to say.
You dopes… well outside of the great religion of wise-ass Cartman, you haven’t got shit to say.
Start over from scratch. Pull your heads out of your asses.

Left by Shouting Thomas on June 11th, 2006

[...] Following Ann Coulter’s appearance this week on NBC’s Today, a transcript of Meet the Press in Hell from World O’ Crap, worthy of South Park: Russert: Mr. Christ, what do you say to accusations that you�re opposed to fighting a battle to bring about the end of all life on Earth because you�re an anti-Semite? [...]

Left by What does Jeff think? » Blog Archive » Meet the Press in Hell on June 11th, 2006

[...] � Meet the Press in Hell Imagine if you will a network news program where the host believes that his obligation as a journalist is to place evil on the same footing as good (so that evil will stop complaining about how the media always favors good). [...]

Left by jmcgready’s misc. universe on June 11th, 2006

Bwahahaha.
Puts me in mind of an exchange in Itamar Moses’s latest playCelebrity Row. A prison tutor, in an imagined conversation with Ted Kaczynski, Tim McVeigh, gang leader Luis Felipe and WTC bomber Ramzi Yousef, says as she directs the conversation from one topic to another, “I love this–it’s like the McLaughlin Group in Hell.”
Yousef responds, “Where do you think they film real McLaughlin Group?”

Left by Sylvia on June 11th, 2006

Hakim Sana’i
Nice Day… sitting outside, we witnessed a Crow Riot (lots of beatings handed out between different groups) A Blue Heron hanging out in our trees, then taking off… and a multitude of Bees all over the Blackber

Left by Anonymous on June 12th, 2006

[...] From World O’ Crap comes this eschatological fantasy: Satan, Jesus, Ann Coulter, and the Virgin Mary, all interviewed by Tim Russert.  Via MetaFilter. Speaking of Ann Coulter, the same site has a fine explanation of how the blonde hellspawn manages to keep looking so youthful and refreshed. Link.  [...]

Left by (the) Insanity Shop » Blog Archive » Meet The Press - In Hell on June 12th, 2006

[...] � Meet the Press in Hell (tags: media politics religion amusements) [...]

Left by Amy G. Dala » Blog Archive » links for 2006-06-12 on June 12th, 2006

You liberals always portray our side as “enemies of the people.” If your own minds were not so biased by far-left outfits like the New York Times, you would realize that Ann Coulter and Michelle Malkin and, yes, Satan, are the only ones patriotic enough to defend our country against terrorists like Saddam Hussein — and Christ.

Left by Ralph on June 12th, 2006

[...] http://world-o-crap.com/blog/?p=42 [...]

Left by BlogDaveAfternoon » Blog Archive » press the meat on June 12th, 2006

[...] Seeing as items on the Internets have a shelf-life of only a couple hours, this is an oldie but a goodie. Russet: I�m afraid we�re out of time. Satan, I�ll give you the last word. [...]

Left by Shoot the Ones » Archives » All Kinds of Wowon June 12th, 2006

Oh, mYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYyy! Jesus, Satan, Tim russert and Anne Coulter!! What a combination!
This gave me smiles on Monday so thanks!

Left by Valeria on June 12th, 2006

[...] World-O-Crap [...]

Left by BlogDaveAfternoon » Blog Archive » Press the Meat on June 12th, 2006

[...] Meet the Press in Hell Tim Russert moderates Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, Satan, and Jesus H. Christ. (tags: politics news religion humor) [...]

Left by Akkam’s Razor on June 13th, 2006

[...] Meet The Press in Hell Russert: We�re back with our guests, Bob Satan and Jesus Christ, and our panel Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter. Ann, I�d like to read you a statement by the Virgin Mary, Chairwoman of Mothers Against Armageddon� [...]

Left by Talk Nation » A quick note on June 14th, 2006

No Comment

Left by Laverne on June 15th, 2006

OMG!!! I’m so happy I stumbled on to this web site! I laughed until the cheap pinot grigio I was drinking shot out my nose! Keep up the good work, Scott!
See ya in Hades!
Well, to paraphrase Mr. Twain, Heaven for the weather, Hell for the company…

Left by Candy girl on July 10th, 2006