The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

First They Came For The Beauty Queens…

Bill O’Reilly has started a new program, much like Amnesty International, but a bit more narrowly focused: Prisoners of Conscience With Implants.
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This segment of the Factor was originally titled Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn, but Jared-Syn, as it turns out, had rather disappointing hooters, so it was renamed Metalstorm: The Destruction of Miss California.  But then it turned out that Metalstorm was the name of a concert event, sort of like Lilith Fair, but for German cover bands, and the Amon Düül II tribute group (Amon Düül II-7/8) threatened to sue, so Bill just wound up calling it Funbags sans Frontieres.
Checked on your freedom of speech lately?
Uh, no, actually.  I left it in front of the TV with a juice box and some Arrowroot cookies, but I’m sure it’s fine…
If not, consider the plight of 21-year-old Carrie Prejean, a student at San Diego Christian College who was selected first runner-up in the Miss USA pageant last month.
I’m not sure “plight” and “first runner-up in the Miss USA pageant” can legally be used in the same sentence.
Prejean was asked whether every state should legalize gay marriage. Smiling brightly, the young woman said: “I think that I believe a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anyone out there.”
Saying certain people should be treated unequally before the law is generally considered a bad thing, unless you smile when you say it (also, the disenfranchised group will be more likely to accept their second class status if you used a good tooth-whitener beforehand).
MSNBC allowed a guest to call her vile names, and the far-left cast of characters on that cable network has delighted in mocking and demeaning Prejean almost nightly. The left-wing blogs have been especially vicious
Oh God no, not the blogs!  This is going to be like when J. Edgar Hoover drove Jean Seberg to suicide all over again, except this time with obscure guys posting mildly snotty things for their dozens of readers!
She’s being investigated for possibly violating pageant rules by giving unapproved interviews. Of course, she gave those interviews trying to defend herself against media assaults.
Or maybe the pageant officials thought that Carrie cutting anadvertisement for Maggie Gallagher’s National Organization for Marriage (”National Organization for Marriage and Carrie Prejean Launch New Ad Showing Intolerance of Gay Marriage Activists, Illustrating Threats to Religious Liberty”) was a bit pissy of her, considering.
This is a disgraceful exposition with wide implications for all of us.
Bill’s dreams of entering a beauty pageant have been shattered.
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“I feel fucking pretty…And now I got nowhere to take it!”
Here we have an American citizen answering a direct question respectfully and honestly and being punished for it. You don’t get more un-American than that.
Hm.  Well, how about an American citizen being subpoenaed by Congress and interrogated about her personal political convictions, then jailed when she refused to implicate her friends and colleagues?  That’s maybe a skosh more un-American, don’t you think, Bill?  No?  Okay, tell you what, let’s compromise: I’ll weep for Carrie Prejean when she’s hauled before the House un-Pageant Activities Committee and cited for contempt of Swimsuit.
Where is the American Civil Liberties Union on this?
Laughing their asses off because you think this is a legal issue?
Once again, the ACLU displays its biased hypocrisy like a giant float-balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Because there’s no greater example of false piety than a helium-filled Underdog.
And where is the National Organization for Women?
Saying, “We told you beauty pageants were stupid and demeaning and you were wrong to take them seriously in the first place”?
A young woman is being victimized by hate speech, actually being called a “b*tch” on a variety of television programs, and NOW has no comment? Again, the hypocrisy is breathtaking.
When will these so-called “feminist” organizations stand up for the right of our beauty contestants to advocate denying equal rights to homosexuals without the gays getting all up in her silicone grill?
Finally, where is the homosexual community?
Oh darn, did they get out of the closet again?  I thought you were going to fix that latch…
Do they not respect freedom of speech? They don’t want to be punished for their expression, right?
Oh, no need for threats, Bill.  Miss Prejean felt free to say she doesn’t believe gays are entitled to the same rights she has, and some gays felt free to call her a bitch.  The system seems to be working.
It would be incredibly smart for a gay leader to pull a Voltaire and publicly state, “I don’t agree with what you say, but I defend your right to say it.” So, who’s going to be courageous and step up on this one?
Except Carrie’s right to spout antediluvian bias isn’t threatened, while equal treatment under the law for gays and lesbians is.  So maybe at this particular point in our social development, it shouldn’t really be up tothem to defend her constitutional liberties.
Gay marriage has been defined by some of its supporters as a civil rights issue. Isn’t freedom of speech a civil rights issue? Therefore, let’s call this Miss California deal exactly what it is — a gross violation of the spirit of America.
If America means anything, it means the right to treat certain of your fellow citizens as slightly less human, without having to hear them complain about it.
If a 21-year-old pageant contestant can be persecuted for uttering an opinion based upon a sincere belief, then all of us are at risk, as well.
Or as Bill once memorably said, “I have a dream that my two little children will one day live in a nation where you people will shut up! Shut UP!  Cut their mic!    Fucking thing SUCKS!

Posted by scott on Saturday, May 9th, 2009 at 10:11 pm

35 Responses to “First They Came For The Beauty Queens…”

Oh, man, I’m gonna still be laughing over that caption next week.
Pitch-perfect takedown. Especially:
Miss Prejean felt free to say she doesn’t believe gays are entitled to the same rights she has, and some gays felt free to call her a bitch. The system seems to be working.
This. Yes. Holy shit, Bill is totally fucking clueless, isn’t he. Most of the assholes on this one I suspect are just being utterly disingenuous when they claim that gays exercising their free speech at Miss Prejean threatens her free speech, but with Bill I actually think he honestly thinks that’s what’s going on.
Bill O’Reilly: All World Champion at Complete Lack of Self Awareness.
A man who routinely cuts off people who call in to his show to express disagreement with him is getting his boxers in a knot about so-called violations of free speech?
Thank you. I shot coffee all over my desk with the ACLU joke.
Boy, I gotta disagree; I’m really saddened and concerned about the chilling effect this is going to have on the interview segments of every national and international troglodytic parade of smiling, scholarship-hopeful meat products, especially the Miss USA pageant, which used to be the most lively, free-wheeling, and intellectually-stimulating forum this side of Open End, but with better baton twirling.
Really, Doghouse? I see it as encouraging those would-be beauty queens who know they’re not gonna win to keep going anyway. All they have to do is say something creepy that meshes with the right wing agenda, and they’ve got a perfect excuse for losing. Let’s face it, the troughs of wingnut welfare have too long been hogged by the likes of Hugh Hewitt. We can all only benefit from the overall improvement of the appearance of their ranks in bathing suits.
As for Miss Carrie being persecuted, it seems to me that homobigots have picked her up carried her on their shoulders. “Look! We’ve got a pretty one now!”
I guess when one of your biggest spokespersons is Maggie “Walking Cure For Priapism” Gallagher, the desperation to find someone more telegenic will lead you to praise ANYONE, even if she’s as sharp as a bag of wet hair.
It was, perhaps, churlish of me to take a cheap shot at Ms. Gallagher’s physical attributes. A person not be judged soley upon looks, but for intellect and personality too.
In which case, she’s really 0 for 3.
My apologies for being so short-sighted.
Smiling brightly, the young woman said: “I think that I believe a marriage should be between a man and a woman.
She thinks she believes it? Way to have the courage of your convictions, Homophobe Barbie.
It’s at times like this that I think that Bill O’ is really performance art. He really can’t believe that this is a Constitutional issue that warrants involvement by the ACLU. No one with the most basic understanding of Constitutional law could possibly do that. He just understands that his “low-information” viewership will eat this up.
Finally, where is the homosexual community?
I was under the impression that they were the only ones who bothered watching this sort of silliness. Them and Bill O’Reilly.
All I can say is that it’s a good thing soon-to-be-disgraced-former Miss California didn’t say something completely over the top like about how not everybody was proud former President Bush was from Texas - there would be massive public burnings of sashes and tiaras organized by ClearChannel.
You know that Bill has seen those nude photos of Miss California. (That’s why his monitor is so sticky.) I’m sure he thinks if he rescues this fair damsel from those DFHs, he just might get his falafel between those fun bags o’silicone.
I was under the impression that they were the only ones who bothered watching this sort of silliness. Them and Bill O’Reilly.
Now, now, don’t lump Bildo in with all those icky pooves. Whenhe masturbates over the phone with a vibrator up his ass, there’s awoman on the other end of the line, godammit!
“He really can’t believe that this is a Constitutional issue that warrants involvement by the ACLU. No one with the most basic understanding of Constitutional law could possibly do that.”
What makes you think Bill O has a basic understanding of constitutional law?
“When he masturbates over the phone with a vibrator up his ass, there’s a woman on the other end of the line, godammit!”
Ah, thanks for the mental image, Mentis. Now, can anyone tell me how to get barf out of my favorite pair of gabardine slacks?
How is there room for both a vibrator AND his own head?
Giant asshole + pinhead. Plus he just tries harder, I imagine.
I mostest loved it when the bimbo prefaced her remarks with that bullshit line “I was raised to believe that…” As if acknowledging that her own original thinking was just too gosh darned hard and she had to regurgitate the pablum that fuckheads Mater and Pater fed her.
It’s probably my remnant of unreconstructed male chauvinism, but I get the feeling that Ms. Prejean was just out of her depth, and should have gotten a bit of sympathy as the spotlight moved on past her.
Of course, that was before the wingnutosphere latched onto her. So I guess she’s in the midst of launching her new GOP spokesmodel career. The giveaway will be if she’s picked up more talking points the next time she surfaces on national media.
What will be her position on teabagging? Will the be a video? “Miss California Teabags the Stars”, soon to appear in umm *specialty* video stores.
Seems like a mutual latching onto, actually.
I’ve known a few small-time beauty queens, and if nothing else, I can tell you they’re taught to smile pretty and offer answers that give no offense. Everyone expects their responses to be vapid, and no one’s going to give her grief over that. But the rules of the game she entered into of her own accord say she should not offend the judges, and she screwed up. If you hit a flat note in the talent contest, they take note of that, too.
Which is fine, no one’s at their best all the time, and gods know the world is full of narrow-minded dorks who share her shallow views on whether other people deserve civil rights, and I honestly don’t give a fuck if you think homosexuality is wrong as long as you don’t try to make everybody else live the way you think they should when what they’re doing now hurts no one.
Meanwhile, I promise not to suggest that beauty pageants should be outlawed because I was raised to believe that vanity is a deadly sin.
But having lost style points by forgetting how to play the game she was engaged in, Miss Prejean is now doing what I catch my cats at every time they forget what they’ve learned about windows: preening and pretending she meant to do that.
And the natural response to that is to point and laugh, especially when the cat is convinced you owe her a game hen because she meant to scare the bird away when she slammed into the glass.
This just in… California-USA pageant officials rip NOM a new one.
RobNYNY1957, you said exactly what I was thinking.
Ms. Prejean belongs to a “Christian” church here in San Diego called, get this, “the rock,” which is one of those non-denominational churches that raise lots of money, build fancy compounds & gets involved in politics and judging others more than anything else. In fact, their “pastor,” an ex-Chargers football player and drug addict, spoke at the Republican convention last year. And last time I checked their website, they had a whole section devoted to their “ex-gay” program. They have “Christian rock” (gag) bands playing at services, and it is THE church for good-looking young Christians to hook up. In other words, the place is a typical stewing pot of hypocrisy.
What is the address for this cauldron of hypocrites and hot, fucked up Christians?
So it’s Freedom of Speech?
Hm.
I’m sorry….did someone prevent her from making an ass of herself? Did NBC bleep her words, the way they bleep F-bombs regularly?
Did someone forget to mention to Bill Orally that this is a private (not state-sponsored) pageant sponsored by a private, money-grubbing short-fingered vulgarian, featuring a bunch of publicity-seeking chicks and one dick who happens to be gay and likes being an asshole?
And Bill thinks…well, there’s the problem right there, of course…Bill thinks this is a First Amendment issue?
Oh. Wait. I get it. He’s being Pastor Niemoller on this, because eventually, they’re going to get around to cancelling his show because he, you know, is a jerk, too.
Maggie “Walking Cure For Priapism” Gallagher
“If your erection last more than four hours, see Maggie Gallagher’s website…”
Once again, the ACLU displays its biased hypocrisy like a giant float-balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Ohhh… I thought that was Rush Limbaugh.
“Giant asshole + pinhead.”
That what such a perfect comeback I wish I’d thought of it. :)
a giant float-balloon in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.
Ohhh… I thought that was Rush Limbaugh.

This probably belongs in a Sadly,No! thread, but I can’t resist it here.
This probably belongs in a Sadly,No! thread, but I can’t resist it here.
ARGH!!! I’VE BEEN PRICKROLLED!!!
(Cartoonleap forbids your link, herr doktor. You have to cut and paste the address http://www.cartoonleap.com/wp-content/gallery/november2008/01_kanamara_2.jpginto a new window/tab to achieve the horror.)
(Cartoonleap forbids your link, herr doktor. You have to cut and paste the addresshttp://www.cartoonleap.com/wp-content/gallery/november2008/01_kanamara_2.jpginto a new window/tab to achieve the horror.)
Japanese penis, so big
Bill O’Reilly penis, so small
ARGH!!! I’VE BEEN PRICKROLLED!!!
I was at the same TS party…
So, I imagine if you went back and checked, you’d find BillO saying the exact same things about the Dixie Chicks and their right to free speech, correct?
Actually, no. I don’t imagine that.
“When he masturbates over the phone with a vibrator up his ass, there’s a woman on the other end of the line, godammit!”
Some might think the above is snark, but alas, it is the gosh honest truth and was the basis for the Andrea Makris settlement. She must have had him on tape saying/doing the above as she alleged because any lawyer will tell you that she had no legal standing and her case would have been tossed long before trial. instead Bill’O chose to pay he 7 figures: Interesting.
Thanks, gocart. I wouldn’t want people to think I make that kind of stuff up for a giggle.
According to The Smoking Gun (copious quotes linked from there too) Mackris only filed suit after O’Reilly accused her of extortion. Since a seven-figure out-of-court settlement followed, we can draw our own conclusions.
Word of the Day: Harassturbator
Now, time to check out the weather chart…
Dumb bitch says something bigotted, gets shut down by her betters, the system seems to be working perfectly fine for me. Free speach intact. As usual, Bill is spinning things to make them sound worse than they really are.

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