The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, September 22, 2014

My One And Only Comment On Michael Jackson

Just heard a rumor that Michael Jackson’s body will lie in state at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles, which seems both vainglorious and inadequate.  I mean, if they’re going to go that far, why don’t they just crack the seal on Lenin’s Snow White-style glass sarcophagus in Red Square and lay the King of Pop out alongside the Founding Father of Bolshevism (it is, after all, a two seater — Vlad used to bunk with Stalin — and Jacko’s pallor will make Lenin’s dull waxy build-up look like a healthy, George Hamiltonian tan).  Meanwhile, Karl Malden, one of filmdom’s finest character actors, has not been invited to lie in state at any major metropolitan arena, although the manager of Bullwinkle’s Restaurant & Family Fun Center in Tukwila, WA has offered to let the Academy Award-winner’s corpse cool on the air hockey table, as long as it’s gone by Sunday, because they’re having a birthday party.


Via our friend capconnundrum.
 Just heard a rumor that Michael Jackson’s body will lie in state at the Staples Center in downtown Los Angeles, which seems both vainglorious and inadequate.  I mean, if they’re going to go that far, why don’t they just crack the seal on Lenin’s Snow White-style glass sarcophagus in Red Square and lay the King of Pop out alongside the Founding Father of Bolshevism (it is, after all, a two seater — Vlad used to bunk with Stalin — and Jacko’s pallor will make Lenin’s dull waxy build-up look like a healthy, George Hamiltonian tan).  Meanwhile, Karl Malden, one of filmdom’s finest character actors, has not been invited to lie in state at any major metropolitan arena, although the manager of Bullwinkle’s Restaurant & Family Fun Center in Tukwila, WA has offered to let the Academy Award-winner’s corpse cool on the air hockey table, as long as it’s gone by Sunday, because they’re having a birthday party.
Via our friend capconnundrum.

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