It’s Time To Replace Byron York With Dick Sargent

If you were wondering whether the reluctance of major news outlets to echo tabloid claims about John Edwards was a demonstration, or a failure, of professional ethics, you’re not alone.  Fortunately, Byron York (last seen tracking down rumors of a Letterman Top Ten List about Edwards with the grim relentlessness of a senile Ahab hunting the white whale in the fishstick section of his grocer’s freezer) has volunteered a few guidelines to help us navigate the terra incognita of internet-era journalism.  In what we might call The York Doctrine, Byron proposes that using tools such as Photoshop to digitally alter an image (say, by adding smoke to a photograph of the Baghdad skyline) is corrupt, and should be considered a firing offense unless it supports a story that might be scandalous enough to bring down the one man in America with a better head of hair than Byron!  In that case, it’s evidence.

By now, it’s well known that the big news outlets — the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, Los Angeles Times, as well as the broadcast and cable networks — have largely ignored the story. Some observers have speculated that those outlets would report the news if theEnquirer published the pictures. And now, sure enough, Perel has published a picture — just one, a fuzzy image the Enquirer calls a “spy photo,” of a man who appears to be Edwards holding a baby.
…

We’ll see if the new photo changes any minds at the big media institutions. It’s more likely that editors and reporters who don’t want to report the story will continue to not report the story, perhaps saying the picture is not clear enough.

Nitpickers.

Although, to be fair, our go-to expert on all matters Photoshop, Gavin at Sadly, No! didn’t appear impressed by the quality of the workmanship:

For starters, we see clear use of the Reduce Noise filter, apparently with the Remove JPEG Artifact box checked. Woo!

Still, Byron’s not the kind of guy to take Fake for an answer.

But is there anything else? Maybe the Democratic National Convention, coming up in a little more than two weeks?

Or my birthday, coming up next month?  Maybe you could fake a little something for that?  Huh?

So the Enquirer continues to hold off on publication of the Beverly Hilton photos. And the big press outlets continue to stay away from the story, although the local Edwards press, like the Charlotte Observer, are moving closer to the story.

In fact, they sat right down next to it and did that whole “pretend to yawn and stretch and slip your arm around the story’s shoulder” thing.

In any event, more and more people know about it through the Internet — and now, late-night comics have been making their share of jokes about it.

So the Newspaper of Record has no choice now but to devote its front page to the issue; Leno made a quip.

Posted by scott on August 8th, 2008

Jonah Goldberg To Speak At Clown College Commencement

Jonah has heard the clamor of his fans, answering the old Zen koan, “What’s the sound of one hand clamoring?”  And what do they most dream and hope for?  More conservative comedy!

But there are few questions I’m asked more than, “When are you going to do another one of those conservative comedy nights like you (and Mark Steyn and Rob Long) did in New Hampshire or the Conservative Summit?”

Well, to that one I have an answer: In a couple weeks!

Alas, Mark Steyn couldn’t make this one. At first, my reaction was “Well, that’s that. We can’t do it without Steyn.”

Known professionally as “Slappy.”

Then, I found out that Christopher Buckley would sub-in for him. My reaction was sort of like that of Hugo Drax inMoonraker when he’s talking on the phone with the personal assassin employment agency inquiring about a new henchman. He describes his needs with much urgency, but then the person on the other side of the line says he can deliver Jaws. “Oh, you can get him?” Drax replies, “Yes, well, that will be more than satisfactory.”

I remember Moonraker — not as well as Jonah — but I clearly recall the dread I felt when Richard Kiel’s character “Jaws” appeared, and I realized that the absolute worst film in the Bond franchise was about to get exponentially crappier.  Which is, I have to admit, exactly the same feeling I get when hearing the words “Mark Steyn.”

Anyway, me, Buckley and Long will be at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs, offering some much needed counter-programming to the Democratic Convention down the road. The drinks will be flowing. And hopefully a good time will be had by all. I should note — with some pride — that at the New Hampshire event, the laughter from our room was so loud that Bill Clinton, speaking at a rally next door for the woman he happens to be married to, had to wait a minute for the noise to die down before he could resume talking. That was pretty cool.

Until Jonah glanced down at his 3×5 cards and noticed the shirttail extruded from his open fly, and suddenly his alarmingly red face and gush of tears turned the gay hilarity into scattered, nervous coughs, loud calls for the check, and the busy, overlapping sound of chair legs scraping on linoleum.

Get your tickets early.

Posted by scott on August 6th, 2008

McCain Receives Biker Support In Exchange For Use Of His Old Lady

McCain sticks to reality base

Pastor Swank was delighted by the way John McCain embraced the Way of the Hog this week, offering the crowds some hard, unvarnished truths, sensible policy proposals, and a peek at his wife’s tits.

John McCain was addressing the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally. His speech was reality-based, far different than the fantasy-celebrity-Islamic B. Hussein Obama base.

That’s Obama’s base?   Just goes to show you can’t trust the media, when they continue to report that Senator Obama “has trouble” connecting with Hispanics, working class whites, and imaginary Islamic celebrities.

Reality. It’s becoming increasinly a strange virtue.

I think I’ve got a new motto.  Thanks, Pastor Swank!

Reality means sacrificing one’s own wishes for what is. Reality dictates that self submit to the actual milieu rather than carve out a more convenient travel.

Exactly.  As Robert Frost so movingly wrote:

Two travels diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the travel less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

There is a B. Hussein cult already formed. It is given to the craze. Its members don’t read, don’t heed.

They also don’t knead, don’t speed.  Or weed or seed, I must concede.

When McCain spoke to the bikers, he was more than in his element. They would not tolerate for a second the contrived. McCain gave them reality. He spoke simply the facts. He became one of them.

He drank a case of Pabst and got jumped into the club, then broke a pool cue over a cop’s head and flashed his man-boobs at a beauty contest.  That’s a little something we like to call “presidential timber.”

Interestingly and importantly, Cindy McCain brought about the same chemistry when taking the microphone. While quite the wealthy female, she stayed with the reality quotient and matched her audience in splendor.

It was a near thing, but thankfully no other skank managed to out-dress her.

If America wants to remain on track, it must keep to the reality gear.

And stop double-clutching!

That is why the B. Hussein’s doctrine is the Loser Maximum. It is dishonest on so many multi-dimensional levels as to be frightening to the real-thinking citizens of this country. B. Hussein has belonged to a dishonest political plant known as Jeremiah Wright’s church.

Even liberal Hollywood admit this!  (Although in the movie, the name of Jeremiah Wright’s dishonest political plant was changed to “Audrey II” in order to avoid litigation.)

B. Hussein has tied up with dishonest Muslims in Illinois via the Nation of Islam. B. Hussein’s biography is fraught with untruths. His birth certificate is dishonest — a fake. And so forth and so forth.

I’m so filled with righteous rage right now I could scream!, etc., etc.

The decision before this nation is to empower reality from Atlantic to Pacific or wed to the death wish. It is that stark a choice.

So think long and hard before you vote on Proposition 8, which, if approved, will amend the California constitution to define marriage “solely as a union between America and a death wish.”

Battered Women Just Wanna Have Fun!

Over at RenewAmerica, Carey (“I used to beat up Methuselah for his lunch money back in the third grade”) Roberts suspects that inside, shelters for battered women are just like Pleasure Island in Pinocchio — sure, they look fun at first, but after you’ve gambled, trashed the place, and consumed your fill of whisky, ice cream and cigars, a big lesbian from the Government turns your kids into donkeys who work the salt mines while you sit around and smoke dope and drop “Blue Fairy” acid.

Hey girls, want to get skanky? Well, sashay down to your local abuse shelter and get buzzed! No, you don’t have to be a real victim of domestic violence. All you need is a convincing story.

Carey wheezes out an anecdote about some woman who allegedly went to a shelter under false pretenses, bilked the caregivers out of money and services, then faked her own death.  Eventually she was arrested and charged with fraud, thus proving that the entire shelter system is a lie!  (I’m not exactly sure how we got from Point A to Point Q, with side trips to Point Epsilon and Point Samekh, but I was told never to contradict my elders.  Or my grandparents’ elders.)

Girls, there so many ways your interlude at the shelter can be relaxing, profitable, and fun.

First of all, realize you’re entitled to three nutritious meals a day, personal toiletries, and so forth. Transportation services may also be available, “but the only excursions offered were to the local mall where a wealth of unaffordable merchandise stared them in the face,” explains Nancy S., who spent two years shuttling among shelters in the San Francisco area.

Yes, that does sound cruel, taunting these poor women with a rackful of remaindered shifts at Dress Barn — fruits they must never taste.  On the other hand, I imagine the “excursions” are relatively infrequent, since most battered women would probably prefer a trip to, oh I don’t know,the doctor, maybe?  Or perhaps the dentist to have those three broken teeth pulled or repaired.  Or maybe a social services center where their kids could receive counseling for their night terrors.

And don’t worry if your kids are still black and blue from their latest visit to the wood shed — shelters won’t turn you in for child abuse, at least if you’re staying at Another Way in Lake City, Fla. As one former employee told me, “We always knew not to call the law unless you were prepared to be unemployed.”

Shelters serve several purposes, but they exist mainly to give women a roomy place to practice child abuse.  You can imagine how frustrating it must for a buzzed skank who needs to lash out at her offspring, but who lives in such a small, cramped apartment that there isn’t sufficient space to safely swing a fanbelt or a chair-leg; luckily she can just check into the local shelter.

And if you want to toke a little weed, that’s fine, too. After all, you’ve been battered and belittled, you deserve a little break.

And if you’ve also been bewitched, bothered and bewildered, they’ll leave a syringe full of heroin on your pillow during turn-down service.

If you’re in the Houston area, be sure to go by the Bay Area Turning Point. That facility hosts dating parties where local men drop by to schmooze and relax. That’s according to Bobbi Bacha, vice president of Blue Moon Investigations, who wonders whether such events are appropriate for abused women at such a vulnerable point in their lives.

I implicitly trust the bona fides of any private investigator who names her firm after the detective agency on Moonlighting.

If lavender is your color of choice, you don’t even need to venture outside. Everyone knows shelter staffs are replete with dykes cruising for a hook-up.

Well, everyone who collects a certain genre of pornography, yes.

Got a man-problem? Shelters can solve that, as well.

At Bethany House in Falls Church, Va., “Women with almost no marital problems are declared abused and are coached by the staff to go to court and get a protective order against their husbands with the promise of long-term shelter, legal services, [and] counseling,” reveals a former shelter volunteer.

Yes, according to an anonymous letter at the Equal Justice Foundation, which exists to promote the following “findings”…

The safest place for a child is with their biological father.

The safest place for a woman is in her home married to the biological father of her children.

Men and women are equally violent in domestic relationships.

“Any country that has tried to create a political solution to human problems has ended up with concentration camps and gulags.”

Their partner site is chartered to help men accused of domestic violence, and includes helpful articles such “The Female Narcissist,” “When It Is Not Domestic Violence,” “Justifiable Violence Against Women,” “The Emotional Terrorist,” and Rudyard Kipling’s, “The Female of the Species.”

Believe it or not, the best is yet to come!

Once you check out of the shelter, you now have the gold-plated Keys to the Kingdom. That’s because you can now lay claim to life-long status as a victim, a battered woman. You’re a certified survivor.

You’re a world celebrity, just like Paris Hilton and Barack Obama!  But you better hurry up and provoke a severe beating from your husband or boyfriend, because now that Carey’s spilled the beans, everybody’s gonna want in on action.

There’s just one little hitch. Legions of other women have figured out how to work the system, so many shelters now have a long waiting list.

It’s just like the Oklahoma Land Rush, except with more broken bones and scaldings.

Posted by scott on August 5th, 2008

WSJ Urges Regular Americans To Vote The Straight Heart Attack Ticket

At the Wall Street Journal, the strain is becoming unbearable.  Neck muscles corded, eyes popping, skin glazed with sweat, the WSJ.com writhes in its bed like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, fighting the urge to bolt upright and scream, “Can’t you see that man is aNIG’‘–!”  But the only relief they’re offered is a cool washcloth, and a few spoonfuls of Campbell’s Chunky Chicken and Euphemism soup:

Too Fit to Be President?

Facing an Overweight Electorate,Barack Obama Might Find Low Body Fat a Drawback

Obama doesn’t resemble the typical voter, and that makes regular Americans fear he may not share our traditional values of belly and booty.  Where’s his caboose?  Where’s the fleshy cow-catcher cantilevered over his belt?  Where’s the the atherosclerotic plaque caking his arteries like stucco texture-coating on a suburban rambler?  But you only have to look at McCain to see he’s as American as Type II diabetes.

[I]n a nation in which 66% of the voting-age population is overweight and 32% is obese, could Sen. Obama’s skinniness be a liability? Despite his visits to waffle houses, ice-cream parlors and greasy-spoon diners around the country, his slim physique just might have some Americans wondering whether he is truly like them.

Those taut, sculptured buttocks tell you all you need to know: this man is a little too slick to be trusted.  Oh sure, he ate at the Waffle House.  But he didn’t swallow.

The candidate has been criticized by opponents for appearing elitist or out of touch with average Americans. A Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll conducted in July shows Sen. Obama still lags behind Republican John McCain among white men and suburban women who say they can’t relate to his background or perceived values.

“He’s too new … and he needs to put some meat on his bones,” says Diana Koenig, 42, a housewife in Corpus Christi, Texas, who says she voted for Sen. Hillary Clinton in the Democratic primary.

“I won’t vote for any beanpole guy,” another Clinton supporter wrote last week on a Yahoo politics message board.

And yet Fox News can still accuse Obama of cynically playing the fleshist card.

Dr. Scheiner didn’t disclose his patient’s exact weight, but medical observers estimate that the 6-foot-1.5-inch-tall senator appears to weigh at least 10 pounds less than the roughly 190 pounds that the average American man of his height weighs. The Obama campaign declined to comment for this article.

What are they hiding?  Could those missing ten pounds be the seeds of a clone army of Obamas who would march remorselessly across the land, raising our hopes while lowering our sister’s panties?

At roughly 165 pounds, [Senator McCain's] weight is slightly above average for a 5-foot-7-inch man his age, according to nutritionists.

See?  He’s above average.  And really, haven’t we had enough of mediocrities in the White House?  Vote McCain: He’s Mildly Huskier Than The Norm For An Old Man.

These days he stays away from junk food and instead snacks on MET-Rx chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and drinks Black Forest Berry Honest Tea, a healthy organic brew.

Hmm.  That sounds familiar.  Oh, right, it’s taken nearly verbatim from a press release by McCain’s campaign manager, Rick Davis:

Only celebrities like Barack Obama go to the gym three times a day, demand “MET-RX chocolate roasted-peanut protein bars and bottles of a hard-to-find organic brew — Black Forest Berry Honest Tea” and worry about the price of arugula

(Sen. McCain is said to have a weakness for Butterfinger candy bars, jelly beans, and coffee and doughnuts from Dunkin’ Donuts.)

Because he’s a regular guy, just like your dad who died of a coronary at 53.

On a campaign stop in May at Lew’s Dari-Freeze in Milwaukie, Ore., Sen. Obama’s wife, Michelle, and their two daughters ate ice-cream sundaes and onion rings, while Sen. Obama grinned for the cameras and swirled a spoon around in his quickly melting ice-cream concoction, taking only a few nibbles.

Because if he dares expose himself to pure, wholesome ice cream from America’s Dairy Land, his tongue will shrivel and turn to ash in his mouth.  Also, as he’s made of brown sugar, if you throw a bucket of water on him he’ll melt, leaving only a witch’s hat and a puddle of charisma.

But too much time in the gym can cause problems, as Sen. Obama learned last month after he made three stops to local Chicago gyms in one day, for a total of 188 minutes. The marathon workout session sparked a widely circulated Associated Press article titled “Obama Becomes a Gym Rat.” In it, the reporter wrote, “Sometimes it’s hard to tell if Barack Obama is running for president of the United States or Mr. Universe.”

If he wants to workout so badly he should clear brush and mountain.  I’m pretty sure there’s a vacant lot on the South Side of Chicago where you could easily do both.

UPDATE:  Steve at No More Mister Nice Blog has more on the author of the WSJ article, who apparently researched the Obama-is-too-fit meme and discovered, much to her astonishment, that she’s the one who invented it.

Posted by scott on Friday, August 1st, 2008 at 1:56 pm

First, it was the Ku Klux Klan.
Now it’s Weight Watchers Wonders.
Can a black man in America ever catch a break?

Left by actor212 on August 1st, 2008

[...] Update: I just knew the follow-ups to this were going to provide much hilarity. World O’Crap doesn’t disappoint: At the Wall Street Journal, the strain is becoming unbearable. Neck muscles corded, eyes popping, skin glazed with sweat, the WSJ.com writhes in its bed like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, fighting the urge to bolt upright and scream, “Can’t you see that man is a NIG’‘–!” But the only relief they’re offered is a cool washcloth, and a few spoonfuls of Campbell’s Chunky Chicken and Euphemism soup… [...]

Left by The “Worthy” Electorate « Red Tory v.3.0 on August 1st, 2008

As reported on Kate Harding’s Shapely Prose earlier today, the “Yahoo blog about politics” where the beanpole comment was made was, in fact, started by the reporter a little while ago. Wotta hack.

Left by Lu on August 1st, 2008

Also, you can find the freaking tea at my local grocery stores and also Target. Why does McCain hate James Lileks?

Left by D. Sidhe on August 1st, 2008

(In fact, it’s easier to find than the Tab I drink, at least in this part of the country. But I’m an elitist asshole.)

Left by D. Sidhe on August 1st, 2008

Now I feel vindicated as sometimes I wonder if I was too hasty in dropping out of my journalism major. All because the kids in there seemed dumber than I could tolerate.
Many are eluding to Rupies’ influence but frankly the WSJ’s editorial page has always been the bulb on the porch where the moths fluttered about.

Left by kate on August 2nd, 2008

On the local progressive/communists w/ commercials talker KTLK AM1150, local yak yokel Johnny Wendel was saying that the Onion News Network had done an item about presidential candidates packing on the lbs. to appeal to Bloated Americans in Feb. I’m too lazy to research it, but apparently the WSJ is too lazy to come up w/ antything new either.

Left by Malignant Bouffant on August 3rd, 2008

[...] Also, he’s too healthy and works out too much. No, really. No, really. NO, REALLY! [...]

Left by SemiConscious Dot Org » Blog Archive » 84 Days To Go on August 12th, 2008

[...] Also, he’s too healthy and works out too much. No, really. No, really. NO, REALLY! [...]

Left by 84 Days To Go « Heavy Metal Librarian on December 29th, 2009

Concerned Woman-Man Wants To Slip You His Whopper

Concerned Woman Matt Barber doesn’t claim to be anybody special.  He’s just another dogface drafted into the Culture War, hunkered down in a foxhole, rinsing his socks out in his helmet and dreamin’ about home.  Just minding his own business minding other peoples’ business; then suddenly, he felt a STAB in the back!  Matt reached behind, and sure enough, pulled a knife from between his shoulder blades.  A gruesome stiletto that could’ve come from only one place:

A Happy Meal.

Hard to believe, but Private Barber has the bloody proof that McDonalds has violated the Neutrality Act and been trading with the enemy — married homosexuals.  But let Matt tell you in his own words, which I should point out are mostly free of gay undertones or inadvertent double entendres:

In an apparent effort to pierce the hyper-demanding good graces of the radical homosexual lobby, these clowns (pun intended) have thrown the vast majority of potential Mickey D’s customers, worldwide, under the bus. Because of this colossal corporate blunder, the hamburger giant is now facing an embarrassing and ever-growing international boycott.

Well, “international” in that they have a petition up on the World Wide Web, which makes it slightly less international than International-Harvester, but slightly more than IHoP.

McDonald’s self-inflicted woes started back in March, when the company paid $20,000 to have Richard Ellis, McDonald’s “out and proud” homosexual vice president of communications, placed on the board of the innocuously tagged “National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce.” NGLCC is an extremist, “gay” activist organization that lobbies for leftist causes, such as “gay marriage,” and pushes for other policies that would grant special privileges to certain individuals who define themselves based upon unhealthy, traditionally immoral and changeable sexual behaviors.

I suppose you could argue which is less healthy, gay sex or eating at McDonalds.  But as I get older, I find myself increasingly appalled by the newfangled, ever-changing immorality of today’s on-the-go youth, and yearning for the more sedate, traditional immorality of my parents’ and grandparents’ generations.  So I’ve got to agree with Matt there.  As for “changeable sexual behaviors,” though, I’ll be happy to take Matt’s word for it as soon as he decides to switch his polarity, buy some decent shoes, and start doing two shows nightly at Aunt Charlie’s.

For example, under communist-tested, McDonald’s-approved “hate speech” legislation, such as the so-called Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Christians and other business owners with traditional values would be forced – under penalty of law – to abandon sincerely held religious beliefs and adopt McDonald’s own secular-humanist, moral-relativist view of right and wrong.

Yes, as we learned from Janet Folger, America is the new Roman Empire, where it is now a capital offense to profess faith in Christ.  But at least in ancient Rome you could choose an alternate god from a pretty cool pantheon, while here the government forces you to worship Ronald McDonald.

But perhaps most damaging is that McDonald’s is now publicly supporting counterfeit “same-sex marriage,”

I admit, I bought one of those knock-off gay marriages from Hong Kong and it stopped working within a week.

As far as bad business decisions go, this one’s a real whopper (sorry for the mixed metaphor). This has, no doubt, made shareholders grimace … (OK, I’ll stop).

Oh you and your puckish sense of whimsy.

Still, same-sex marriage is a contradiction in terms. It’s a bizarre bastardization of legitimate marriage. It both mocks and undermines the genuine article.

Even worse, it softens your hands while you do the dishes!

Marriage is a fundamental building block to any healthy society. If you introduce counterfeit money into commerce, the dollar is devalued. If you introduce counterfeit marriage into society, true marriage is devalued and society is harmed.

On the bright side, you can now pay for your gay marriage license with a three dollar bill. But enough of these vague innuendos and unsupported arguments.  Let’s see Matt engage McDonalds position, in a clear, direct, point by point manner.

“At McDonald’s we respect and value everyone … blah, blah, blah … Diversity … blah, blah … Inclusion … yada, yada … We have a long and proud history of leadership … blah, blah, (gag!)” You know the drill.

Okay, maybe Matt should reconsider changing his sexual behaviors.  With a gag reflect that sensitive he’s not likely to be very popular.

Posted by scott on Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Could we aim that drill at Matt’s head and drain all the stupid out of it?

Left by Bill S on July 30th, 2008

Ze Hamburglar plants ze shiv again!

Left by Mike Nilsen on July 30th, 2008

Uh, what was his point in all that?
McD’s is bad?
And this: “Hatred has no place in our culture.” Nice job, Bill. I’m sure the hundreds of millions of customers you’ve just smacked down with this little insult are itchin’ for a Happy Meal now.… is supposed to have any damn effect on the crowds that chug thru the McD drive up windows daily?
That boy must surely get paid by the word, because that whole piece of work seemed like a limp rant to me.
But this is really rich: counterfeit marriage. Like the sham I went through with my ex-wife? Oh, if only she had gone to big house after divorce, that would have made things more better! But tell me again why two gays getting married would have changed that shit one iota.

Left by heydave on July 30th, 2008

“In an apparent effort to pierce the hyper-demanding good graces of the radical homosexual lobby, these clowns (pun intended)…
I’m fairly certain that’s not actually a pun.
…”have thrown the vast majority of potential Mickey D’s customers, worldwide, under the bus.”
Can we please stop saying “under the bus” already? It sounded stupid the first time, it sounds stupid now.
“Hatred has no place in our culture.” Nice job, Bill. I’m sure the hundreds of millions of customers you’ve just smacked down with this little insult are itchin’ for a Happy Meal now”
Yeah Matt, I’m sure your average fast food customer really gives a shit.

Left by Gundamhead on July 30th, 2008

You know, for an excessively hyperbolic, psychotically manic, innuendo-laden rant, that was surprisingly boring. Rather like seeing Ozzy Osbourne in drag at Mardi Gras. What’s the point, really?

Left by D. Sidhe on July 30th, 2008

For example, under communist-tested, McDonald’s-approved “hate speech” legislation, such as the so-called Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Christians and other business owners with traditional values would be forced – under penalty of law – to abandon sincerely held religious beliefs and adopt McDonald’s own secular-humanist, moral-relativist view of right and wrong.
Gee, it’s a pity the First Amendment doesn’t apply to private employers…and if anyone thinks this boycott is going to do squat to changing Mickie D’s mind, they are nuts.

Left by actor212 on July 30th, 2008

Man, that Bus really gets a work-out, doesn’t it? I wonder who’s driving? Is it a school bus or a greyhound? Or is it something like the McCain “stuck in reverse” bus?

Left by Kathy on July 30th, 2008

Still, same-sex marriage is a contradiction in terms. It’s a bizarre bastardization of legitimate marriage. It both mocks and undermines the genuine article.

Even worse, it softens your hands while you do the dishes!
It’s a dessert topping and a floor wax!

Left by Maryc on July 30th, 2008

Good god, these people are stupid. McDonalds is a bigass, amoral business. If they’re supporting gay rights, it’s because they think it’ll accrue them good will and improve their bottom line. Sure, maybe some McDonalds decision-makers personally care about the issue, but that is entirely secondary to profit motive. It’s a purely mercenary decision. I thought right-wingers were capitalists, but listen to them howl like banshees–excessively whiny banshees–over a corporation playing within the rules of the system that they are alleged to support. It is to laugh.

Left by GeoX on July 31st, 2008

McDonald’s is now SICKDonald’s with Gaylands, McBuggers, and “fallen” arches!
Clara

Left by Clara on July 31st, 2008

McDonald’s is now SICKDonald’s with Gaylands, McBuggers, and “fallen” arches!
So THAT’S why my Chicken McNuggets came with McPenises!

Left by actor212 on July 31st, 2008

I prefer to think of that bus as a nice, flat faced Blue Bird.

Left by heydave on July 31st, 2008

So THAT’S why my Chicken McNuggets came with McPenises!
You ordered the “Mr. Happy” Meal.

Left by scott on July 31st, 2008

So THAT’S why my Chicken McNuggets came with McPenises!
You ordered the “Mr. Happy” Meal.
He was going to order the Happy Ending Meal but remembered he was allergic to Special Sauce.

Left by litbrit on July 31st, 2008

He really thinks some puny boycott will impede the global juggernaut that is McDonalds? Is he like, stupid or something? Ronald has a message for you, Matt: “Bring it on, punk.”
McDonalds is to companies what gonorrhea is to STDs. It will continue to spread until someone develops a vaccine. You might as well boycott pneumonia or epilepsy.
But it is nice to see companies finally catching on that teh gheys usually make much better customers and/or employees than those who oppose them.

Left by Realist on July 31st, 2008

I took the delicious liberty of posting a few comments over at the Boycott McDonalds webby-do for S&G. Childish? Yes. Fullfilling? Not for very long, I guess. Worth it for a cheap thrill? Abso-fargin’ Lutely. Mostly because it’s a big pile of wind-pissing and multiposts to be sure. Try it, I won’t tell:http://www.boycottmcdonalds.com/comments.aspx

Left by Oh, That's Just George on July 31st, 2008

speaking of Mr Happy Meal

Left by preznit giv me turkee on August 1st, 2008

Upon closer inspection, I think the comments on Boycott McDonald’s are fake… There are no requirements to register, no codes to enter, no requirement to sign the petition, yet nothing you type and post shows up. Also, what kind of petition doesn’t have a visible list of signatories. Hurm…

Left by Oh, That's Just George on August 1st, 2008

He was going to order the Happy Ending Meal but remembered he was allergic to Special Sauce.
Only if I swallow.

Left by actor212 on August 1st, 2008