The World O' Crap Archive

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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Conservative Pundit Begs Anderson Cooper To Stop Teabagging Him. Eventually.

In the wake of all the teabagging this week, WorldNetDaily’s Joseph Farah can’t seem to get his mind out of Anderson Cooper’s mouth.
CNN’s Anderson Cooper should have his dirty, little gutter mouth washed out with soap.
“Then he should be severely disciplined by a heavily-mustachioed Daddy who knows how to give his bare, taut buttocks, and tender upper thighs the spanking they deserve with a latigo leather paddle that just happens to be in my bottom drawer, next to a jar of Elbow Grease.”
Then he should be fired.
Hey Joe, let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves here.  First administer the punishment, and then, if you’re not too spent, you can satisfy your demands for Cooper’s discharge.
Cooper, a cover boy on the homosexual magazine “The Advocate” and listed as among the most powerful “gays” in the country by OUT magazine, made what can only be characterized as an obscene and disgusting comment during CNN’s biased coverage of Wednesday’s “tea party” protests around the country.
For me, there were few things more frustrating about the Bush years than the ease with which the Republicans controlled the terms of debate, repeating their talking points ad nauseam and unchallenged on every channel, like frat boys teaching profanity to a parrot.  So I hope you’ll pardon my delight that the party of traditional values is not only responsible for introducing the word “teabagging” into the general lexicon, they’ve also been reduced to insisting on the term “tea party” as the butch alternative.  I mean, sure, we’ve all painted ourselves into a corner at one time or another; but very few of us have added a second coat.
“It’s hard to talk when you’re tea-bagging,” he said.
That was a revolting attempt at “inside humor” by Anderson Cooper.
He was sending a secret message to the gays!  And in case you don’t know it, there’s a Culture War on, which means Cooper’s joke was treason!   I say chuck him in a POW camp for the duration and watch him closely to make sure he doesn’t blink out the word T-E-A-B-A-G-G-I-N-G in Morse code.
“Tea-bagging” is known in the homosexual subculture as a practice involving a particular form of oral sex.
Only the homosexuals would be depraved enough to think up different brands of oral sex.  Heterosexuals, who are not so jaded as the sodomites, are perfectly content with the one, traditional form of oral sex, which the woman — make no mistake about that — performs on the man, after he’s begged and whined and she’s had three wine coolers and it’s his birthday.
Just as sickening to me was the reaction from pervasive pundit David Gergen, who giggled in response to the comment.
No wonder we’re losing the war against the jihadists.  Their guys can survive for years in deserts and caves and go on fighting; our guys hear a euphemism for sack-sucking and suddenly they’re laid out on the Chesterfield with a hot water bottle at their feet.
Cooper, meanwhile, seems almost incapable of concealing any longer his own agenda on matters of sexual obsession.
Back in February, I addressed his compulsion for insinuating his own inaccurate and warped views about homosexuality in his so-called “newscasts.” […]
Is [Cooper] becoming an open advocate for the homosexual agenda in his role at CNN, as his popularity with the homosexual press suggests? Is he ready to reveal his own sexual preferences to the world? Is he ready to discuss his own faith? Does he understand what the Apostle Paul had to say about homosexuals? (Romans 1:22-27) Is he more of an expert on Christianity and homosexuality than Paul?
Possibly.  If Anderson Cooper is gay, then he’d have an advantage over Paul; in that case, the only way the Apostle could know more than Cooper about Christianity and homosexuality would be if Paul were…
Ohhhhh.  I get it.
About statement two: Let’s see now. Cooper handpicks the guests he has on his program. How many members ofExodus International has he chosen to interview? My guess? None.
Is it my turn?  Okay, my guess is — Actually, why guess?  I mean, it’s the internet after all, so why risk looking like an ill-informed jackass who’s too lazy or stupid to type a Google search if you don’t have to?  Let’s see:
Dated: February 6, 2007
Tune in tonight at 10:00 p.m. EST when Alan Chambers discusses the topic of change in homosexuality, faith and the ex-gay movement on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360. The show will also feature a segment in which Melissa Fryrear, Director of Gender Issues for Focus on the Family’s government and public policy division, is interviewed as well
That would be Alan Chambers, the president of Exodus International.  And judging by this transcript, Exodus International was mentioned again in April 2007 during a segment on “ex-gay” ministries, when Alan Chambers was questioned on camera.
If he did, he might not get so much favorable coverage from the homosexual press.
And without that fawning attention from the gay press, Cooper would wither and die, unnoticed, unloved, and unlamented, because it’s as sure as Hell is for Homos that no heterosexual magazine is going to waste its cover on some obscure nancy-boy.
Outside1may2008.jpgJust look at this piece of poncy propaganda.  Outside magazine. Outside?  Get it?  The homosexuals are talking in code again, but they haven’t fooled Joe!  Clearly this is some obnoxious, in-your-face piece of rough boy rabble-rousing designed to make the sodomites come out of the closet, leave their wives and children, abandon their churches, and do it under the stars, like those cowboys inBrokeback Mountain!
And look where his hand is!  He might as well be peeling a banana!
Now this one isn’t even trying to be subtle.  I mean, first of all,Vanity Fair?  Not exactly Guns and Ammo, is it?  Vanity, thy name is Woman, and this evil Queen doesn’t even have to askwho’s the Fairest in the land.   And if that weren’t enough, they’ve got the word DICK on the cover, right by his face!
It’s not even physically possible for a magazine cover to be more gay, unless they took a picture of him stringing Skittles like Thai butt beads so he could get cornholed by a rainbow!
It doesn’t take a cerebral but manly heterosexual with an penetrating grasp of the queer demimondeto catch the coded message here.  “In the life” is well-known gay slang for a homosexual who is “out,” and here we have Anderson Cooper.  InLife!  It doesn’t take a genius…
This magazine is not only obviously queer, it’s also shockingly anti-heterosexual.  As if it wasn’t bad enough that they’re “in the Life,” they claim that being homosexual is the Best Life!
You don’t have to look inside to tell this is some kind of gay pornography, when the cover itself is littered with filthy, provocative, arousing words like stripbellysexualupgrade, and money.
The question on the table before Cooper’s foul-mouthed, offensive comments on Tea Party day was whether or not he was capable of delivering the news straight.
farahstashmashup.jpgSaid the man with the fake online newspaper and the upper lip stolen from a 1983 Spunk Video production. (In a nicely Green touch of literary recycling, Joseph used this same “straight news/delivering the news straight” bit in the February column linked above.)
That’s what CNN has pretended he does at the network.
CNN:  The Most Trusted Beard in News.
After this incident, there’s little question left as to whether he can continue to pretend to be a straight newsman.
I’d complain about this innuendo, but Farah Fawcett-Majors here would just accuse me of sending more coded messages to the Gay Resistance.

Posted by scott on Saturday, April 18th, 2009 at 9:32 pm

25 Responses to “Conservative Pundit Begs Anderson Cooper To Stop Teabagging Him. Eventually.”

Dude. Shuster and Olbermann were way worse, and I believe they’re straight. Rachel Maddow was pretty giggly too, and I’m guessing she has very little familiarity with teabagging at all.
“Cooper, meanwhile, seems almost incapable of concealing any longer his own agenda on matters of sexual obsession.”
And hey, you never know, D., Rachel may have experimented with heterosexuality or bi-curious in college… She seems like a rather worldly gal, kinda hard to shock, huh?
” ‘Is he more of an expert on Christianity and homosexuality than Paul?’
Possibly. If Anderson Cooper is gay, then he’d have an advantage over Paul; in that case, the only way the Apostle could know more than Cooper about Christianity and homosexuality would be if Paul were…
Ohhhhh. I get it.”
Heh heh heh… I can’t add anything to that.
“And look where his hand is! He might as well be peeling a banana!”
Um. Dude. Anderson’s pretty and all, and I’ve had the hots for him since he & Thalia Assuras were the best comedy team on television, via ABC’s World News Nightly (and CBS has YET to give that girl a decent gig, PLUS NBC stuck Hoda Kotb, my homegirl {well, she got started in NOLA, and I have a picture with her around here somewhere…} WITH THAT WASTE OF OXYGEN, ALCOHOLIC HARPY SHREW, IDIOTIC SOCIAL-CLIMBER PSYCHO-CUNT KATHIE LEE GIFFORD!!! Talk about fucking INJUSTICE!!!), which USED to be the coolest news show on the planet, back when Anderson & Thalia were there…*sigh*… oh, to be young again… *sigh*
They were a night-working gal’s (shaddup, you jackasses, I was working nights in RADIO, and NO, not with kneepads; if I’d had kneepads, I’d still be IN radio!!!) best friends, and had great photoshopping gags WAY before Fark or even were invented.
But anyway, to get back to the topic… I don’t doubt Anderson’s… um, well, ENDOWMENTS (and I ain’t talkin’ about Gloria Vanderbilt’s money, either), but I doubt that even a pretty youngish thang like him is endowed DOWN TO HIS OVERPRICED SOCKS. When he’s 95 or so, his teabag will be hanging down there, but I don’t think that the location of his hand in THIS particular shot is an actual representation of the genuine article.
“It’s not even physically possible for a magazine cover to be more gay, unless they took a picture of him stringing Skittles like Thai butt beads so he could get cornholed by a rainbow!”
Darlin’ heart, as brilliantly wicked as that sentence is, I’m starting to worry about you and West Hollywood… Mary? Is he okay? Or has he been going “out for coffee” a lot lately?
(heh heh heh…)
“CNN: The Most Trusted Beard in News.
Y’know, I never really *got* the appeal of Wolf “The Scud Stud” Blitzer back during Gulf War I, but if CNN really IS The Most Trusted Beard In News, as opposed to, say, Liza Minelli or that chunky girl who “married” Michael Jackson, NOWWWWW I get why Wolfie was deemed a “stud.”
Don’t you have to at least have A CHIN to be a “hunk”??!??!)
And while I get the French Resistance gag, I *so* do not get the GAY Resistance from that video clip. It’s one of those “you hadda be there” things, ain’t it.
WORLD NEWS *NOW*, dammit!!!!!!
Best. Overnight. News. Ever.Be cool, now that I can access YouTube and other video stuff, if I could find some of his and Thalia’s funny shit out there, somewhere in the archives.
you can satisfy your demands for Cooper’s discharge.
You lost me at that point, and I lost my dinner.
I’m cutting Farah some slack here.
No matter how you term it…”teabagging”, “tea party”…his overlords have chosen perhaps the most, um, effeminate form of protest imaginable.
When you mention tea party to most Americans, they think of their 3 year old daughters playing dress up with mommy’s lipstick and shoes and inviting daddy to sit at the short table with the dolls and teddy bears to sip imaginary tea.
Unless you precede the words with “Boston”, which brings up the image of one fourth of the Village People cloning himself and tossing boxes of tea into the harbor.
Big hard manly boxes. Tossed by a guy dressed up like an Injun. Making his leaves all wet, dripping wet, oozing the juices of those firm leaves that men of that time enjoyed swallowing while still boiling hot straight from the spout.
Sorry…I got lost in thought there for a moment. Where was I?
Oh. Farah. Right.
Perhaps Farah should turn the faucet of his heterorage off for a moment and ponder the possibility that his own lords and masters are the ones with the closet doors swinging open?
And oh by the way, AC is openly gay, Farah, so what the fuck is this “hidden agenda” shit about?
shaddup, you jackasses, I was working nights in RADIO, and NO, not with kneepads; if I’d had kneepads, I’d still be IN radio!!!
For the thousandth time, I’m sorry about that, Annti, but he said I had the purtier mouth anyway!
I will never look at Skittles the same way again. Okay, I never actually look at Skittles, but at least now I know why they’re still on the market.
As someone pointed out, I believe on the internet somewhere, these are the people who think calling their opponents DemonRats is the gold standard of political humor.
Annti, they wouldn’t be “Free” moustache rides with him. You’d pay the price of your own sanity and well-being.
And whatever medical treatment you’d need afterward.
Oh, and as for the idea that if Anderson would lose any favorable coverage from the gay press by inviting a member of Exodus on his show-fat chance!
Putting Alan Chambers on tv is the best way to show people what a fucking freak he is! Have you ever seen these “ex-gays”? I’ll never forget the first time I saw one on tv-I think it was on Sally Jesse Raphael’s talk show, twenty-somethin’ years ago. His name was Sy Rogers. He was seated onstage with his wife beside him, clutching her hand like she’d flee if he let go. Which she might well have done, because EVERY time he opened his mouth to speak, she had this look on her face like she wanted to kill him.
In fact, most of the wives of “ex-gay” men have a sad, desperate look on their faces, and they only look sadder when they try to force a smile.
By contrast, the husbands of “ex-lesbians”(if they have one) are usually douchebags who couldn’t find a wife any other way.
It’s almost as if their marriages are a sham or something.
This is what happens when right-wingers cut off from the larger society get out in the fresh air and walk blinkingly into the bright sunlight: they try to be hip and cool, yet are defeated by their ignorance of any culture outside their own. I’m a straight, middle-aged female, and knew what “teabagging” meant just by being on the internets, and would have NEVER chosen that as a slogan for a movement I wanted anybody to take seriously. They stepped right in it, and are shocked that other people have the nerve to laugh at their dirty shoes.
That, Bill S., and the ex-gays are the gayest people ever.
And oh by the way, AC is openly gay, Farah, so what the fuck is this “hidden agenda” shit about?
Oh, you know, the hidden agenda where they act almost just like regular people and pretend they’re not constantly barely resisting the urge to break into lisped show tunes about destroying marriage and seducing your sons. At least until *after* they get some anti-discrimination laws passed, at which point it’ll be orgies on every street corner.
Oh, you know, the hidden agenda where they act almost just like regular people and pretend they’re not constantly barely resisting the urge to break into lisped show tunes about destroying marriage and seducing your sons. At least until *after* they get some anti-discrimination laws passed, at which point it’ll be orgies on every street corner.
Well, “Clang Clang Clang” me when that happens!
It’s terrible that AC doesn’t behave like Percy Dovetonsils, but Farah, I mean, Farahhhhhhhh, y’all ought to not point fingers in the mirror when you get your knickers in a twist, yknowwhutImsayin’?
“And oh by the way, AC is openly gay, Farah, so what the fuck is this “hidden agenda” shit about?”
AC is openly BI, thank yew velly much.
You meant the purdy boy.
Well, still.
I was “AC” around here FIRST. Sure, he’s been on teh telly for close to 16 years, but still. Thpthpthpthpthhhhhh.
But I don’t think that anybody’s EVER accused ME of having a “hidden agenda” or anything else hidden… to say the least…
That port tache guy is one sad sack sucker
cornholed by a rainbow!
You know, I think I heard of that once in a lullaby.
I almost can’t believe “teabag” wasn’t deliberately chosen (Or honestly/ignorantly chosen, but when told in a meeting what it meant it was decided, ho ho, let’s go w/ it anyway) for just such purposes as this idiocy, which has been all over the ninny-o-sphere, from L. Bent [sic] Bozo-ell on down.
I almost can’t believe “teabag” wasn’t deliberately chosen (Or honestly/ignorantly chosen…
Well, they started off going to “bug” Washington with their demands, but calling themselves the Bugger Brigade just didn’t sound manly enough, I guess.
So instead we got the TeaBuggers, striding forth with pinkies boldly extended. Or…something.
Really, it’s not their fault. They just don’t know where to get loose tea. Some of the signs make it pretty clear that as a whole they are not unaware or unappreciative of the connotation, but a wingnut will never pass up the chance to feel slighted, even if they have to pretend they didn’t start the joke.
The same groups that organized the teabagging parties need to throw together a rally in support of the CIA interrogators described in the torture memos.
Since the acronym CIA has negative connotations, they are refering to interrogators as belonging to “America’s Sacred Service”. They also want to invoke the spirit of Robin Hood for these men & women - they have a name that that shows that these hard working interrogators go beyond the written law for the benefit of all of us.
Ladies and gentlemen, we need your support. We need you all to come out on May 15th for the first of many ASS Bandit rallys
Will you join us?
It’s like the organization Two Million For Marriage calling itself 2M4M and not noticing, or pretending not to notice, what M4M means.
I’d have an easier time swallowing (no pun intended) all the “we had NO idea” claims if it weren’t for that fairly widely distributed picture of the guy with the “Teabag the liberal Dems before they teabag you” sign.
Did that sign look like the product of someone who didn’t know the hidden meaning of the term? No, it did not.
Methinks these fucking assholes doth protest too much. They knew what it meant, and had a great time giggling about it among themselves until they got caught. So now they’re attempting, as usual, to blame liberals.
There is a certain something about Farah. That bold mustache, the tight leather pants…. Gimme a couple of ludes and a quart of beer and, well, I just might.
You had me at “like fratboys teaching profanity to a parrot.”
And why is this mustachioed, useless waste of bungwipe clutching his pearls? Protesting too much maybe?
Speaking of Skittles…

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