The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, September 15, 2014

If I Were A Woman…

The good folks at went to the most awesome gallery showing ever: Within Heaven’s Earshot: Religious Album Covers”.  (showing at the Synchronicity Space gallery in East Hollywood).
My favorite album cover?
And that’s not the most hilarious of them at all!  Check their blog out for the rest of the ironically hilarious album covers and for Los Angeles restaurant reviews, retro commercials, and general Los Angeles-centric news!

Posted by Maryc on Monday, March 16th, 2009 at 7:37 pm.

11 Responses to “If I Were A Woman…”

Quit laughing. Sure, the guy looks like a repressed little fish from the 50’s but that subtle smile betrays the wisdom one achieved via Brylcream and narrow ties.
Uh, I’d try to fix myself up a little better? I’d have a pink Bible, maybe a little slimmer, and some rickrack? Oral contraceptives would taste just like bacon? What?
Y’know, Mary, it’s not often that I confer this particular blessing upon teh bloggers, but you have more than earned it with this one.
Sometimes you skeer me, Mary.
Utter fucking genius.
And that knowing smirk, heydave, does not come from “widsom,” but from the same “freedom” and “release” that J. Edgar Hoover found down at Big Edna’s Statuesque Ladies’ Shoppe.
Check the basement.
Oh, and Doghouse, in answer to your “what?”, I’d like to venture a guess or two…
If Pastor Ira were a woman…
He’d spend his entire life douching with Lysol, because he’d STILL never be “clean enough.”
All his daughters would plot his death from the day that they hit puberty or otherwise asserted free will.
He’d NEVER get laid in the first place, and would die a bitter, broken old spinster, always hovering at the edges of other people’s conversations, with several taxidermied cats sitting in his windowsills.
Okay last one, and on a different tack:
All vibrators would be free, diesel-powered with kick-starts, and in some cases, MANDATORY.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week, and then on Sunday I’ll be doing the matinee at the Ramada I-20/Airport Lodge Lounge from 3 to 6 — Happy Hour’s at five!
Hey, someone remind me before Saturday, the Jack T. Chick flick might be fun.
Buckner Fanning?? He’s a local San Antonio boy. He retired several years ago, I think because he knew there was no way he could out-crazy John Hagee.
What’s wrong with Brylcream?
Ira, nothing personal, but if you were a woman, I’d be gay.
You might want to keep the horizontal pixel width of your pitures to 425p or so, because this one (at 500 pixels) blows out the margins in internet Explorer and truncates about 75 or so pixels of text.
I’ll send a screengrab if you like, but hopefully you already know what I’m talking bout.
Apparently, I’m your only IE user, so do it for me, please. :-)
Does that look any better, Chris?
Yep, that’s the ticket. Thanks, Scott!

No comments:

Post a Comment