The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Short Attention Span Theater

A mitchdaniels* of Townhall Shorters:
Red Ribbons: No Longer a Hollywood Fashion Accessory? by Nathan Tabor:  Celebrities peevishly refuse to wear HIV Awareness ribbons ever since President Bush cured AIDS in the Dark Continent.
Obama on education: right talk, wrong walk, by Star Parker: I resent the Obama Administration allocating more funds for education, when everyone knows that the only proven cure for our ailing schools is found in the wisdom of made-for-TV movies.
Keeping the Gitmo Killers Out of America, by John Shadegg: If even The Batman can’t keep supervillains like The Scarecrow and The Joker locked up in Arkham Asylum, then how can Obama prevent bin Laden’s chauffeur and that one-legged Taliban guy from escaping Fort Leavenworth?  That’s why I’ve introduced a bill in Congress authorizing construction of a supermax detention facility for Islamofascists on the moon!
The Last Optimist by Paul Greenberg:   Polls indicating support for Obama and his policies are misleading, since everyone knows the only reliable measurement of presidential popularity is country music lyrics.
What’s Happening to Us? by Matt Patterson:  Twitter is causing us to evolve into beings without bodies who exist only inside computers, like Bruce Boxleitner in Tron.  And I mean that in a bad way.
Rushmore Redo - An Interview, by Bill Steigerwald:   Grover Cleveland was our second-best president.
Who’s a Coward? by Ken Connor:   Are you telling me we have to put up with a black guy in the White House, and we still don’t get credit for not being racists?!
The Republican Intellect-in-Chief, by Rich Galen:  No, Newt Gingrich isn’t some kind of mutated super-genius.  He’s just a genius.
Are Hookups Killing College Romance? by Karin Agness:  “You don’t bring me flowers/You don’t sing me love songs…”
Favorite Movies, Least Favorite Awards Shows, by Burt Prelutsky:  I haven’t had a decent bowel movement since Joan Blondell died.
Gods, Guns & Gumption, by Doug Giles:  Could I be a bigger dick?  God only knows.
*Our proposed collective noun for Shorter posts, with a nod to Doghouse Riley (see the label “Midwestern States Governed By Surly Megalomaniacs With Napoleonic Complexes).
Posted by scott on March 3rd, 2009

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