The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Joins Axis of Evil

Hey, cartoon characters, if you cause terror, then you’re a terrorist, and we have already declared war on you. (But seriously, didn’t you always suspect that “Master Shake,” AKA “Master Sheik” was out to destroy our very way of life?)

Tomorrow: President Bush announces that intelligence reports indicate that the Mooninites are allied with Iran (after all, didn’t one of them say “The innocent shall suffer – big time”?), that they posses weapons of mass destruction, and that they framed Scooter Libby for perjury (and tried to make Dick Cheney seem like a vindictive old bastard). He then declares that we have to fight them over there so we don’t have to fight them here. The moon then becomes the latest arena of our ongoing War On Terror and Blinking Lights and Stuff, and our Commander in Chief looks for a space suit that shows off his manly physique.
Important Announcement: Please notify the FBI if you see any of these suspects lurking in YOUR neighborhood.

It’s Meatwad.
I never trusted that sticky, stinky little bastid.
Really? I was going to propose Meatwad for president. He seems about as bright as the current one, and much nicer.
Meatwad is childishly innocent, but easily led astray by the deceitful Master Shake. We really need a Frylock to eye-blast the crap out of Shake. (You understand I’m not really talking about Aqua Teen, right?)
Since the only city in which this “publicity stunt” was taken as an actual “terrorist threat” was Boston, I, naturally, blame Brad R of Sadly, No! It’s all that Meatwad’s fault. So much begins to make sense now!
So… what kind of terrorists would create explosive devices with conspicuous, glowing pop-culture characters on them?
I mean, the Invisibles, yeah, but they’re opting for ontological terrorism these days.
Go on, laugh all you want, but a Department of Homeland Security that declares advertising a form of terrorism is a Department of Homeland Security I can get behind.
Yeah, Brad R. claimed to have been busy all day, but he didn’t say what he was busy doing.
Time to YouTube that bastard with really crappy videos.
Leave it to some thieving southie to sell one of ‘em on teh ebay

We must strike at the Moon immediately. WMDs? They’ve got a frickin Quad-Laser!
I haven’t heard it mentioned on the list of cities to fall to the Mooninite invasion, but I’m reasonably sure I saw one one these in Baltimore a couple of weeks ago, somewhere near Penn Station.
I agree with Doghouse Riley. Are you aware that political commercials are not allowed on French TV? It’s almost enough to make Paris tolerable. It would be a great city if it weren’t filled with the French…
By the way, does anybody know what Spongebob and Winky Tink (that was the name of the gay Teletubby, wasn’t it?) are up to lately? Are they holed up in some cave in Afghanistan plotting? Why aren’t the folks at Little Green Snotballs looking into this? Be afraid… Be very afraid…
They’re hanging out with Bert and Osama.
“I want to go swimming” are Meatwad code words for Buck Fush!!
“I for one welcome our Mooninite overlords.”
—–
Jeez, I wish I had said that!
Aqua Teens assemble!
~
“We cannot wait for the smoking gun to come in the form of a quad-laser.”
“The British government has recently learned that the moon has recently sought significant quantities of quad-lasers from Africa.”
Regarding the quad-laser:
“We know where they are. They’re in area around the moon and east, west, south and north somewhat.”
“We know where they are. They’re in area around “” and east, west, south and north somewhat.”
I was watching this speech at my Conservative Dad’s home, along with conservative brothers. I burst out laughing. They glared at me! They WANTED to believe.
“Go on, laugh all you want, but a Department of Homeland Security that declares advertising a form of terrorism is a Department of Homeland Security I can get behind.”
On the one hand, DHR, darlin’ heart, I am torn. The obvious tribute to Bill Hicks is touching and so appropriate, while the “I can get behind” leaves you open for soooooooo many jokes, and face it, that fat hairy neighbor on AquaTeen Hunger Force would SO go for that…
“Those of you in advertising — KILL YOURSELVES. No, I’m not kidding. KILL YOURSELF, KILL YOURSELF, KILLLLLL YOURSELF!!!”
He always was ahead of his time.

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