And no, I won’t post a lovely photo of Ann Coulter in its honor.But here’s the scoop from WorldNetDaily.
Most people would say: “Nobody knows.”
But then, most people didn’t read the title of this item.
But the author of the book frequently described as the greatest history book ever written, said the world was created Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. – making it exactly 6,009 last Monday.
Um, wasn’t last Monday September 24th? And if it was really born in 4004 B.C., I think the world is lying about its age. But even so, it doesn’t look a day over 6000!
In the 1650s, an Anglican bishop named James Ussher published his “Annals of the World,” subtitled, “The Origin of Time, and Continued to the Beginning of the Emperor Vespasian’s Reign and the Total Destruction and Abolition of the Temple and Commonwealth of the Jews.” First published in Latin, it consisted of more than 1,600 pages.The book, now published in English for the first time, is a favorite of homeschoolers Why am I not surprised?… and those who take ancient history seriouslyYeah, I imagine that respected historians and serious scholars are the biggest buyers of this book.
It’s the history of the world from the Garden of Eden to the fall of Jerusalem in AD 70.
Those who take history seriously always start things out with the Garden of Eden.
Of course, there will be those who disagree with Ussher’s calculations of time
No!
– especially evolutionists who need billions of years to explain their theory of how life sprang from non-life and mutated from one-celled animals into human beings.
What a bunch of losers, taking billions of years to do something that a 17th-century bishop could do in 6000 years!
The new edition of “Annals” is one of the most significant publishing events of the 21st century.
And since this claim comes from the book’s publisher, you know it must be true!
But, just to be complete, here are some of the other most significant publishing events of the 21 century, from the other conservative publishers:
“Your Kids at Risk: How Teen Sex Threatens Our Sons and Daughters” — Meg Meeker(”Spicing up her statistics with obscene rap lyrics and lurid reports of teen orgies and the high school “craze” for oral sex, she blames the usual suspects…”)
And, of course:
So, the publishing world is just full of significant events this year. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t send the world a birthday card or something.
UPDATE (At the request of Actor 212)
Here’s Michael Fumento:
“Of course, there will be those who disagree with my calculations – especially evolutionists who need billions of years to explain their theory of how life sprang from non-life and mutated from one-celled animals into human beings, a “theory” which I can disprove in one short Town Hall column, because I can cite industry-sponsored evidence that suggests that mutation doesn’t exist, except in the minds of scare-mongering liberals at sites like Daily Kos. Yup, I have driven them absolutely nuts at Daily Kos. I am all they talk about. I am their archenemy, and the focus of all of their nasty left-wing ire, which shows just how important I am. My hourly Google searches of my name have proven this. BOW DOWN BEFORE ME, WORLD!”
Note for Mike: This may or may not be an accurate summary of your Town Hall piece – nobody here cares enough about you to read your columns and find out.
36 Responses to “Happy (Early) Birthday, Planet Earth!”
My favourite bit:
“It’s a classic history book for those who believe in the Bible – and a compelling challenge for those who don’t.”
Yeah right: years of scientific research showing that the world is billions of years old v the calculations of a scientifically illiterate 17th century Bishop from a book written by a bunch of superstitous goat herders. I know who I’d put my money on.
“It’s a classic history book for those who believe in the Bible – and a compelling challenge for those who don’t.”
Yeah right: years of scientific research showing that the world is billions of years old v the calculations of a scientifically illiterate 17th century Bishop from a book written by a bunch of superstitous goat herders. I know who I’d put my money on.
I think that the title of Ann Coulter’s book is wrong. It should be, “If Democrats Had Brains, I’d Eat Them, Too”. Or even, “If Ann Coulter Had Brains, Then She Wouldn’t Be A Conservative Zombie”. Much better title, though a bit wordy. Or how about the apt, “Ann Coulter Needs Democratic Braaaaaaaaaains”?
Let’s not be too hard on poor Archbishop Ussher. After all, he did write this before the Enlightenment, the beginnings of modern geology, Darwin, etc. The accepted method of studying the past in the 17th century was to peruse ancient texts, biblical and otherwise.
On the other hand, the morons who republish this book in the 21st century for homeschoolers are another story.
On the other hand, the morons who republish this book in the 21st century for homeschoolers are another story.
I just want to warn everyone NOT to go to Amazon and leave bad reviews of these “books” as it would be “unseemly.” Oh, God, I’m “channeling” Kaye Grogan!!1!
But seriously, I thought that first book was titled “Anals of the World” and was therefore quite shocked by the content.
But seriously, I thought that first book was titled “Anals of the World” and was therefore quite shocked by the content.
We do know how old the Earth is. It’s around 4.5 billion years old.
Strangely, October 23, 4004 BC was a Saturday. I’m not too up on the sequence of creation in Genesis, but wasn’t the Earth created on the second or third day? That is, Tuesday or Wednesday? By Saturday, he was pretty much finished, and of course rested on Sunday.
So there may be a problem here.
So there may be a problem here.
Strangely, October 23, 4004 BC was a Saturday. I’m not too up on the sequence of creation in Genesis, but wasn’t the Earth created on the second or third day?
That means God only took a day to create the world, took a day off, then billed for six days what he did in one. That means the Lord is a crooked contractor!
That means God only took a day to create the world, took a day off, then billed for six days what he did in one. That means the Lord is a crooked contractor!
I’m surprised they’d read anything with “Annals” in the title! Oh I thought it was “Anals”
– especially evolutionists who need billions of years to explain their theory of how life sprang from non-life and mutated from one-celled animals into human beings.
Not really. They have it, of course, but it’s not required.Evolution is an observable fact, whatever the age of the earth, and even if Jesus shows up tomorrow with a DVD of creation featuring God holding up a copy of the Times dated Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. (how did Encyclopedia Brown know the paper was fake?) it wouldn’t dispose of the evidence.
Not really. They have it, of course, but it’s not required.Evolution is an observable fact, whatever the age of the earth, and even if Jesus shows up tomorrow with a DVD of creation featuring God holding up a copy of the Times dated Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. (how did Encyclopedia Brown know the paper was fake?) it wouldn’t dispose of the evidence.
Given the widely documented drop of teen pregnancies nationwide in many demographic groups–not, heaven forbid, in abstinence-ed-only Texas!!–and the rise [*snik*] in contraceptive use, ditto, those alarmist winger stories about so-called Dionysian epidemics of high-school humpities makes me snicker in my most mordant fashion.
Didn’t happen to me or to the manly Mr. Biscuitbarrel in own pre-university days. (We did our best to make up later, of course.) And as far as I know–and I know quite a bit through the mumsy grapevine on the subject–not to our budding-manly teen sons, either.
Much to their dismay.
[Singing]: Some-bo-diiies pru-ri-ent-ly pro-ject-ing heeeere… Some-bo-dy is jea-lous…
Most notably, chickenhawks Bill-O and Ass-Crack-Ingrown-Hair-Cyst-Draft-Deferred Rushbo, I’d wager.
Didn’t happen to me or to the manly Mr. Biscuitbarrel in own pre-university days. (We did our best to make up later, of course.) And as far as I know–and I know quite a bit through the mumsy grapevine on the subject–not to our budding-manly teen sons, either.
Much to their dismay.
[Singing]: Some-bo-diiies pru-ri-ent-ly pro-ject-ing heeeere… Some-bo-dy is jea-lous…
Most notably, chickenhawks Bill-O and Ass-Crack-Ingrown-Hair-Cyst-Draft-Deferred Rushbo, I’d wager.
What? No Mike Fumento?
And, as one might suspect from an innumerate writer such as anyone working at WorldNetDaily, even the reported age is wrong. Assuming for the sake of argument that the birthdate is correct, that would actually make the Earth 6,010 years old on October 23 or September 24 or whatever.
Ann Coulter: I love Republican Brains: They Taste Like Chicken-Hawk.
You beat me to all the reasons why Ussher’s claim might be faulty, this was before science became a big thing and I’m also curious there have never been any counter-points by other religious leaders. Even when the Catholic church is deciding on who to make a saint, they have pre-assigned naysayers so things are given a fair chance.
As for the kids at risk, there was a reason why teen sex wasn’t as a big problem is that because so many young adults in the 1950’s and before married young (some not even finishing high school) and it was swept under the carpet if a girl got pregnant. The idea of childhood is actually not that old of a concept when you think of it.
Moral Democracy Book: Excuse me while I laugh. An administration that is rife with scandal and members quitting left and right, this is the ultimate oxymoron.
As for the kids at risk, there was a reason why teen sex wasn’t as a big problem is that because so many young adults in the 1950’s and before married young (some not even finishing high school) and it was swept under the carpet if a girl got pregnant. The idea of childhood is actually not that old of a concept when you think of it.
Moral Democracy Book: Excuse me while I laugh. An administration that is rife with scandal and members quitting left and right, this is the ultimate oxymoron.
“The Evangelical President: George Bush’s Struggle to Spread Immoral Democracy Throughout the World” - Bill Samson
Fixed.
Fixed.
I believe it was common knowledge in the 50’s that the first child had only a 6 or 7 month gestation period…
New earth creationists are so cute when they try to explain caves, dinosaurs, radioactive by-products, new flu strains every year, etc, etc, …
New earth creationists are so cute when they try to explain caves, dinosaurs, radioactive by-products, new flu strains every year, etc, etc, …
that would actually make the Earth 6,010 years old on October 23 or September 24 or whatever.
Left by David in NY
Now don’t go getting all technical, you liberal harpy! Mother Earth is allowed to lie about her age! Woman’s prerogative!
Left by David in NY
Now don’t go getting all technical, you liberal harpy! Mother Earth is allowed to lie about her age! Woman’s prerogative!
Next week, Worldnut announces it has figured out how many angels can dance on the top of their pinheads.
Note for Mike: This may or may not be an accurate summary of your Town Hall piece – nobody here cares enough about you to read your columns and find out.
can’t someone drop him on a bottle of soda already so he can finally provide a couple of minutes of entertainment?
can’t someone drop him on a bottle of soda already so he can finally provide a couple of minutes of entertainment?
Oct. 23, 4004 B.C. – making it exactly 6,009 last Monday.
Um, wasn’t last Monday September 24th
Well, maybe the Gregorian calendar adjusmment–no, that took place in the 16th century, and it was only 10 days not 29…
May Ussher was using the Julian calendar–no, Europe had converted to the Gregorian by the 17th century…
I got nothing.
Um, wasn’t last Monday September 24th
Well, maybe the Gregorian calendar adjusmment–no, that took place in the 16th century, and it was only 10 days not 29…
May Ussher was using the Julian calendar–no, Europe had converted to the Gregorian by the 17th century…
I got nothing.
JoshWatermanMN… That means the Lord is a crooked contractor!
Those of us who watched Time Bandits that it’s even worse than that: he outsourced most of Creation to sloppy people and, as a result, there are plenty of rips in the space/time continuum.
Those of us who watched Time Bandits that it’s even worse than that: he outsourced most of Creation to sloppy people and, as a result, there are plenty of rips in the space/time continuum.
I think you’re onto something there Serge, someone had better sue God because his subs did not perform as promised. As made obvious by WorldNutDaily, his Evolutionary Contract didn’t quite pan out as planned, many have been left out of the development loop.
How about “If Republicans Had Any Decency, They’d Be True Americans”?
kate… Or maybe the subs skipped the QA testing before releasing the products.
Indeed Serge, imagine, the world would be a much better place if Quality Control had just applied a simple test for critical thinking and analysis skills beyond third grade level.
Mutation doesn’t exist? Did he really say that?
This whole “evolutionists need deep time to allow for all the mutations” argument against geology is bizarre. Hutton argued for deep (indeed infinite) time 75 years before the publication of the Origin of the Species and Lyell sealed the deal 30 years before it.
*sniff*
Y-you guys like me…you REALLY like me!
*sob*
Y-you guys like me…you REALLY like me!
*sob*
God isn’t interested in technology. He cares nothing for the microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty-three species of parrots! Nipples for men! Slugs! HE created slugs! They can’t hear. They can’t speak. They can’t operate machinery. Are we not in the hands of a lunatic?
I can’t recall who it was, but some scientist was once asked what all his years of study had taught him and he replied the creator really liked beetles.
Speaking of birthdays, if my memory serves me right, this Thursday (Oct. 11) is the birthday of the soft-spoken and demure AnntiChrist S. Coulter.
So Happy (Early) Birthday to A.C.
So Happy (Early) Birthday to A.C.
Evil,
What do you have against parrots, man?
What do you have against parrots, man?
actor212, I *really* like you.
And my favorite species of parrots is the Norwegian Blue, though it’s a bit sad when he’s pining for the fjords. Note his beautiful plumage! And the Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on ‘is back…
And my favorite species of parrots is the Norwegian Blue, though it’s a bit sad when he’s pining for the fjords. Note his beautiful plumage! And the Norwegian Blue prefers kipping on ‘is back…
Ms Biscuitbarrel,
It’s not “keppin’”…It’s poining for the fjords!
It’s not “keppin’”…It’s poining for the fjords!
bidziliba, it was J.B.S.Haldane
Why do wingnuts _always_ get this bit wrong? Evolution has *never* attempted to explain the “Origin Of Life.” Never, never,never. It merely explains the way one species transforms into an other over time, Period.
And, I’m not even going to get into that asinine bit about “if monkeys became men, how come there are still monkeys? Huh?Huh?”
Yecch.
And, I’m not even going to get into that asinine bit about “if monkeys became men, how come there are still monkeys? Huh?Huh?”
Yecch.
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