The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Meet Maxine, the GOP Elephant-Pig

To quote from my email from Robert M. “Mike” Duncan:
Dear Republican,
Meet Maxine, the newest member of the Republican National Committee.
Presumably, she’s a high-level member, because she’s so much smarter than everyone else there.
Embroidered with the official logo of the RNC, Maxine proudly shows off her allegiance to the Republican Party’s principles of lower taxes, a strong national defense, limited government and personal responsibility.
Because nothing says “I pledge my allegiance to lower taxes, war, screwing the poor, and to hell with everybody else!” than pink plush.
Anyway, you can get Maxine for a “donation” of $35 to theRepublican • National • Committee .  As “Mike” says, “With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, Maxine makes a great gift for that special Republican in your life.”  So, if you want to get laid by a Republican on February 14th, you’d better get your order in soon.

Posted by s.z. on Tuesday, January 29th, 2008 at 7:42 pm

13 Responses to “Meet Maxine, the GOP Elephant-Pig”

Wait, wait. The RNC mascot is a pink elephant? Are they admitting they’ve been drunk with power for years?
If this is not a joke, then clearly Maxine is smarter than any of them.
It’s the softer side of the GOP! It’s not all war and waterboarding anymore! Now it’s oddly hued plushies, too!
So, if you want to get laid by a Republican on February 14th
what, there’s a shortage of wood chippers now?
Um…Maxine’s sitting position is somewhat…um…”suggestive”, I think. And then she’s pink and fuzzy and…yeah…
‘Course, there’s also that tiny pink “trunk” sticking up in the front there…
if you want to get laid by a Republican on February 14th, you’d better get your order in soon.
or you could just leave your drink unsupervised at a yuppie bar. It probably wouldn’t cost as much.
Dorothy has it dead-on; phallic pink is truly Republican these days.
Dorothy, it’s a tiny trunk in the picture. Just wait until she’s told a few lies.
Nothing says “lower taxes, a strong national defense, limited government and personal responsibility” to me like a pink elephant with a wide stance undoubtedly made in China, inspired by the drunk hallucinations of a cartoon elephant as envisaged by the drug-fevered minds of the animators of “Dumbo” the circus freak that takes advice from a manipulative lying rodent.
I’ll be straight man [nudge wink nudge] — why “Maxine”?
If you want to get laid by a Republican, you have to visit the Senate men’s room…
Hey, get two and keep ‘em in your trunk, for those icy days on the road.
it’s a tiny trunk in the picture. Just wait until she’s told a few lies.
I think Kip has hit upon the reason the right wing noise machine can never, ever tell the truth:
Nose envy.
For the purposes of this credo, “personal responsibility” should not be assumed to apply to persons seeking legal immunity or an economic stimulus.

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