Leave it to William Kristol to give the ascendancy of Barack Obama and the Democratic Party a much needed breath of historical perspective:
Since Ronald Reagan’s election in 1980, conservatives of various sorts, and conservatisms of various stripes, have generally been in the ascendancy. And a good thing, too! Conservatives have been right more often than not — and more often than liberals — about most of the important issues of the day: about Communism and jihadism, crime and welfare, education and the family. Conservative policies have on the whole worked — insofar as any set of policies can be said to “work” in the real world. Conservatives of the Reagan-Bush-Gingrich-Bush years have a fair amount to be proud of.
What a relief! I was afraid Bill was going to choke in the final inning and actually say something that wasn’t instantly and flatly contradicted by observable reality, but he stepped up like a champ and protected his streak.
In many ways, Bill seems like a modern DiMaggio, if Joltin’ Joe’s celebrated record had involved getting beaned in 56 consecutive games. But today, he most clearly reminds me of another baseball legend, Ted Williams, who capped a long and distinguished career by belting a home run in his last at-bat. For like the Splendid Splinter, Kristol didn’t just strike out and limp slump-shouldered into the dugout; instead, he saved the best for last, concluding his trenchant pensées with perhaps the six most stirring and eloquent words that have ever appeared beneath his byline:
This is William Kristol’s last column.
Our long national toothache is over.
Posted by scott on Monday, January 26th, 2009 at 3:52 am
14 Responses to “Brother Can You Spare A Smirk?”
His last column? Really? Awww! Truly, the Obama Administration is destroying political comedy in this country. What will our noble, public-minded snarkmeisters do when all of these sad vicious little sociopaths get banished from the MSM? It’s hard to get serious laughs out of thoughtful discourse and calm good grace, let me tell you. Won’t someone think of the writers, fer God sakes! I hereby move that Bill be replaced Immediately by the 4-square Time-Cube guy. They share the same shaky grasp of objective reality, and the Cube guy is a helluva lot more fun. Also, the impact on the NYT’s apocryphal “credibility” would be negligible, seeing as how they have none. But, that’s just me, I could be wrong….
Man, I almost had a (okay, several) drink at dinner last night. I spent most of the night depressed about my sobriety. This makes me feel a lot better about it. So long, Bill, I hope you’re gone long enough for us to miss you.
I disagree Kordo, Gene Ray would get boring after awhile. What the NYT needs is one of those nimrods who goes on the BBC website and bitches about foreigners stealing their jobs and how the metric system is an EU plot. Admittedly a step down in coherence (albeit a very, very small step), but it would do Americans good by reminding us that, yes, there are nuts in other places.
This is William Kristol’s last column.
Of course, William Kristol is always wrong, so…
Of course, William Kristol is always wrong, so…
Conservatives have been right more often than not — and more often than liberals — about most of the important issues of the day: about Communism and jihadism, crime and welfare, education and the family.
Lemme see…
Communism – Reagan spent hundreds of billions of dollars on unnecessary military crap, including Star Wars, to defeat a philosophy that crumbled under its own weight. Carter would have simply let the shit crumble.
Jihadism – Bill Clinton rolled up sixteen separate terror plots, including plots to bomb London, kill the pope, and blow up planes over Chinese airspace. George W Bush cleared brush.
Crime and welfare – Poverty and crime do go hand in hand. Crime and welfare didn’t reduce until Bill Clinton’s terms when he actually “spread the wealth” to the poor and middle class, the wealth that Reagan’s “paean to the peon he’d pee on” missed.
Education – Reagan tried to dismantle the Department of Education. Even Bush was smart enough to know that education means jobs means our future. Again, Clinton raised education levels nationwide.
The Family – Abortion rates finally fell under Clinton. They rose under Reagan and the two Bushes. Divorce rates fell in the late 90s.
Someone want to clue this jackass in that Republicans are KILLING America?
Lemme see…
Communism – Reagan spent hundreds of billions of dollars on unnecessary military crap, including Star Wars, to defeat a philosophy that crumbled under its own weight. Carter would have simply let the shit crumble.
Jihadism – Bill Clinton rolled up sixteen separate terror plots, including plots to bomb London, kill the pope, and blow up planes over Chinese airspace. George W Bush cleared brush.
Crime and welfare – Poverty and crime do go hand in hand. Crime and welfare didn’t reduce until Bill Clinton’s terms when he actually “spread the wealth” to the poor and middle class, the wealth that Reagan’s “paean to the peon he’d pee on” missed.
Education – Reagan tried to dismantle the Department of Education. Even Bush was smart enough to know that education means jobs means our future. Again, Clinton raised education levels nationwide.
The Family – Abortion rates finally fell under Clinton. They rose under Reagan and the two Bushes. Divorce rates fell in the late 90s.
Someone want to clue this jackass in that Republicans are KILLING America?
Billy Kristol: bringing that final flush of relief to true journalism.
Our long national toothache is over.
He’s more like a hemorrhoid.
He’s more like a hemorrhoid.
What actor said. You look at the right-wing agenda from Reagan and ask “so where th’ fuck is it?” Reagan ran for President for sixteen years on the evils of the national debt; in 1981 he made a big grandstand play of having to increase the debt ceiling to $1 trillion. When he left office it was almost four trillion; now it’s nearly $1 trillion a year. Reproductive rights have mostly withstood forty years of assault, both frontal and sneak attack; same with teaching religion in biology class or Christianity on the courthouse lawn. Mindless jingoism has broken the military and the myth of American hegemony; laissez-faire “capitalism” has broken the bank, just after robbing it. It may well fucking be that 2012 will mark the end of Barack Obama’s “opportunity” to “prove” to Bill Kristol that “liberalism” can work; but what is absolutely sure is that a return to these “conservative” “successes” will only succeed in speeding our trip down the remainder of the hole.
Since Ronald Reagan’s election in 1980, conservatives of various sorts, and conservatisms of various stripes, have generally been in the ascendancy [...] Conservatives of the Reagan-Bush-Gingrich-Bush years have a fair amount to be proud of.
How can you argue with a man who has created his own reality, in which history records 8 years of the Gingrich administration? Someone needs to preserve Kristol as the type specimen of the “Declare victory and evacuate” approach to national and international politics.
I suspect that his wardrobe, like mine, includes a “I reject your reality and substitute my own!” t-shirt for informal occasions.
How can you argue with a man who has created his own reality, in which history records 8 years of the Gingrich administration? Someone needs to preserve Kristol as the type specimen of the “Declare victory and evacuate” approach to national and international politics.
I suspect that his wardrobe, like mine, includes a “I reject your reality and substitute my own!” t-shirt for informal occasions.
May I ask the blog’s attention for a moment of silence for the true, real victim of this vicious treatment of Bill Kristol?
I speak, of course, of Maureen Dowd, who in addition to losing her shopping buddy, is now officially the stupidest Times Op-Ed contributor again.
I speak, of course, of Maureen Dowd, who in addition to losing her shopping buddy, is now officially the stupidest Times Op-Ed contributor again.
Jihadism, give me a break. The Committee on the Present Danger and Bush, Sr.’s Team B Cell inflated the already exaggerated CIA estimates of Soviet strength. To counter this imaginary force they came up with the brilliant idea of financing and arming the remnants of the Muslim Brotherhood, which the CIA had resettled in Saudi Arabia after Nasser booted them out of Egypt.
The Muslim Brotherhood brand carried too much baggage though, a kind of mix of Nazism and Wahabbism, so they were renamed Maktab al-Khadamat al-Mujahidin, or the MAK. Allegedly, al Quaeda developed from a split in the MAK after the Soviets pulled out of Afghanistan, though there’s some indication that al Quaeda, as an organization, is really a fiction created out of whole cloth by US prosecutors in 1998, in order to use RICO statutes against the men accused of bombing the embassy in Kenya.
In any case, to the extent that this shadowy network, motivated by vague anti-western sentiments, is at all real, its existence can be laid squarely at the doorstep of far right, cold warriors such as Bill Kristol.
The Muslim Brotherhood brand carried too much baggage though, a kind of mix of Nazism and Wahabbism, so they were renamed Maktab al-Khadamat al-Mujahidin, or the MAK. Allegedly, al Quaeda developed from a split in the MAK after the Soviets pulled out of Afghanistan, though there’s some indication that al Quaeda, as an organization, is really a fiction created out of whole cloth by US prosecutors in 1998, in order to use RICO statutes against the men accused of bombing the embassy in Kenya.
In any case, to the extent that this shadowy network, motivated by vague anti-western sentiments, is at all real, its existence can be laid squarely at the doorstep of far right, cold warriors such as Bill Kristol.
I’ve heard reports that Bloody Billy Kristol is going to have a once-a-month column in the WaPoo, so he’ll still be available to snicker at.
actor212, are you absolutely positive that MoDo is stupider than Thomas “porn stache” Friedman? I’m not so sure…
actor212, are you absolutely positive that MoDo is stupider than Thomas “porn stache” Friedman? I’m not so sure…
Marion in Savannah,
I don’t think Friedman has used his column to wage a personal vendetta against the President-Who-Wouldn’t-Do-The-Times-Columnist.
I don’t think Friedman has used his column to wage a personal vendetta against the President-Who-Wouldn’t-Do-The-Times-Columnist.
NOOOO! He’s coming here, to DC, to the Washington Post!
WHY?! Noooooo!
WHY?! Noooooo!
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