The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

“One Of These Days, Alan…! Straight To The Moon!”

Same sex marriage became legal in Vermont as of 12:01 this morning.  To the many gay and lesbian couples who have been waiting for this day, some of whom are undoubtedly tying the knot as we speak — heartfelt congratulations.  And to the multitude of friends and family who have gathered to witness these happy events — please don’t throw syrup.
And although bigotry and fear have delayed similar justice in California, I suppose if there’s any silver lining to be found, it can be said that the repeal of our all-to-brief experiment in marriage equality has also delayed the development of wacky domestic sitcoms in whichboth spouses are morons.  (Although, now that I think of it, Home Improvement would have been a much more interesting show if Tim Allen had been married to Robert Verdi from Surprised by Design…)
Oh, and to Maggie Gallagher?  Just breath slowly and deeply into a paper bag, and the palpitations should subside.

Posted by scott on Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 at 9:40 am

9 Responses to ““One Of These Days, Alan…! Straight To The Moon!””

So if I married Tim Allen at 12:00:30 in Vermont, we wouldn’t be legally married?
So much for my “I’ll give you ‘more power,’ biatch!” fantasy…
You know, with nature getting upset with people, people blowing up other people in acts of terrorism, people getting sick and not having insurance, people getting abused by corporate malevolence and people just generally rushing toward full entropy, we sure can’t have people choosing who to marry on their own without REALLY fucking things up.
Or better yet, a plastic bag.
Bill S, hopefully it’ll be duct-taped on.
Wait, so Tim Allen’s and Richard Karn’s characters weren’t married to each other? I need to watch the show again.
So if I married Tim Allen at 12:00:30 in Vermont, we wouldn’t be legally married?
Not until you re-wire him.
Congratulations, Vermonters!
These NOM fucknozzles got their asses handed to them in Iowa tonight, after spending $90,000 to try to elect an anti-equality candidate. It was a narrow victory for us, but when you think how much NOM put into it and STILL lost, it was a rout. (The $86,000 is a lowball estimate, One Iowa figures the money NOM spent at $90,000. Iowa HD90 special election
Even so, the National Organization for Marriage, a Washington, D.C.-based group which opposes same-sex marriage, spent over $86,000 on television ads to benefit Burgmeier. One Iowa, which supports gay marriage, was one of the two groups that filed an ethics complaint in an effort to force NOM to disclose its donors. We can expect lots more money to roll in during 2010 from groups on both sides of the issue.
And congratulations, Vermont! You know it’s getting better all the time.
“.. whenever I see a picture of Pam, she looks as though she’s surreptitiously removed Jennifer Lopez’s face and glued it to her own skull, but it doesn’t quite fit, and now she’s stretched it all out like a borrowed sweater and Jennifer probably doesn’t even want it back anymore..”
Her face looks like it’s wrapped in Saran Wrap.

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