Pastor Swank is beginning to feel like Charlton Heston in Planet of the Apes — the one sane man in a World Gone Mad! He’s also starting to feel a touch like Charlton Heston in Soylent Green — the lone voice of truth drowned out by the din of a World Gone Mad! And he’s showing increasing signs of feeling like Charlton Heston in Omega Man — the last soul who’s kept his humanity in a World Gone Mad! And Albino! Also, I think he sometimes feels like that one girl with the pixilated face who won’t take her top off — the last bastion of decency in a Girls Gone Wild! But that’s just a hunch. The important thing is, he thinks you people are dangerously unstable.
Sane people know for sure that this sphere is laden with crazy people and crazy situations.
It’s true, the inmates are running the asylum! It’s a sort of autonomous collective — an anarcho-syndicalist commune, with the members taking it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
Ted Kennedy is one of those personages and his passing is one of those situations.
True. It took me two or three tries before I could even say “brain cancer” without cracking up. I don’t think there’s been a wackier demise since Chuckles the Clown.
This man endorsed killing womb babies.
And I thought Bob Dole sold out when he did those Viagra commercials.
One becomes so utterly weary dealing daily with the nuthouse mortals throwing their power around that it becomes a numbing press upon the psyche. That in itself causes some of us moralists the leisure of simply overlooking for the umpteenth time the lunatic happenings that fill up our years here.
The good Pastor has made a good faith effort to deal with our dementia, but it’s just becoming all too much, and he’s seriously considering putting the country in a home.
Kennedy was one of the countless persons championing slaying boys and girls inside female bodies.
Granted, it’s not the Most Dangerous Game, but it’s still nice to get out of the house and into the womb, camping with your buddies, putting out your fetal decoys, sitting in your baby blind with your dog and your gun, sippin’ a beer and occasionally blowing on your Zygote Call.
I know that Barack Hussein Obama is like unto Ted. So is Nancy Pelosi. And therefore the bloody list winds out into eternity.
And once you’re on the bloody list that winds out into eternity, they will not stop spamming you.
But with all that as an hour-by-hour atrocity fact
That’s my favorite Trivial Pursuit edition.
moralists must once in awhile come back to the baseline which is to shout loudly that these creatures are bad. They are evil. They say that righteousness is wicked and wickedness is righteous.
They’re trying to tempt us into Hell with their clever wordplay.
It is heavy enough just to read their lambasting Israeli fruitcakes who thought themselves god let alone have to minister to the devil bent year after year.
Wondering if you’re one of the crazy personages who’s causing a numbing press upon the Pastor’s psyche? Well, Swank has thoughtfully provided the previous sentence as an eye test chart for your sanity. Read it through again – if it still makes no sense, you’re probably still okay.
Is there any wonder that Jesus wearied having to minister to the numb in head who wore clergy garb in the name of Jehovah? Thank God Jesus had only three years of public ministry. With enemies attacking His every holy deed, three years certainly was enough.
If they hadn’t crucified him, he definitely would’ve needed a nap.
That is why when liberals read this article they have fits. Their bodies twitch and their jaws drop to the dust. How can anyone type out a sentence stating that Ted Kennedy is a child slayer? How can any decent person even think of speaking such syllables when a man has just breathed his last?Well, take it from me, it is indeed possible.
Pastor Swank has done the possible!
And not only possible but absolutely necessary in order to cleanse our thought patterns and speech cadences, let alone filter our souls of all that gradually attaches itself to up the mire.
“Up the mire?” We used to call it “driving the Hershey Highway.” These Mainers and their crazy New England dialect.
Get this: Ted Kennedy represents one of the most devilish categories of homo sapiens inhabiting God’s Earth because, for one, he could not say and do enough to increase the number of slaughtered womb children.
Listen: Pastor Swank has come unstuck in time.
Posted by scott on Sunday, August 30th, 2009 at 3:22 pm
78 Responses to “Sunday Sermonette: Pastor Swank Thinks You’re Crazy”
Is this Swank guy like, mentally challenged or something? I almost feel like I shouldn’t be making fun of him.
Oh, and the Charlton Heston bit was genius. Just wanted to add that.
…like unto Ted
yess! tee’s, bumper stickers, etc.!!
yess! tee’s, bumper stickers, etc.!!
Dementia or not, every time he says “womb babies” or refers to the President as “Barack Hussein Obama”, I want to swing a tire iron at his nutsack.
…lambasting Israeli fruitcakes
yes, what do you use to (lam)baste Israeli fruitcakes, Manischewitz? And speaking of fruitcakes…
yes, what do you use to (lam)baste Israeli fruitcakes, Manischewitz? And speaking of fruitcakes…
Ah, the “numb in head” – how we feel for them…
[how do you decide the minimum phrase to comment on? It's almost every other fucking word!!!]
[how do you decide the minimum phrase to comment on? It's almost every other fucking word!!!]
“One becomes so utterly weary dealing daily with the nuthouse mortals throwing their power around that it becomes a numbing press upon the psyche. That in itself causes some of us moralists the leisure of simply overlooking for the umpteenth time the lunatic happenings that fill up our years here.”
Well, at last my tactic of running Swankery through umpteen translations over at teh google (including but not limited to Italian, Albanian, Swedish, Vietnamese, then back to English) provides neither hilarity nor enlightenment. It’s just a restatement.
One is tired of the everyday with people throwing around their power to become great in psyche. That means that the moralists themselves some free time we find hundreds of time, the events that fill our years here.
Like sand through an hourglass, these are the days of our lives.
Well, at last my tactic of running Swankery through umpteen translations over at teh google (including but not limited to Italian, Albanian, Swedish, Vietnamese, then back to English) provides neither hilarity nor enlightenment. It’s just a restatement.
One is tired of the everyday with people throwing around their power to become great in psyche. That means that the moralists themselves some free time we find hundreds of time, the events that fill our years here.
Like sand through an hourglass, these are the days of our lives.
these are the days of our lives.
hence the “numb in head”
hence the “numb in head”
Occasionally I get concerned about myself because I sometimes seem to understand what some of your Very Special Select wingnuts are getting at.
But now that I’ve read that para about the Israeli fruitcakes 3x, I know I don’t have to worry any more. Thanks, Scott!
But now that I’ve read that para about the Israeli fruitcakes 3x, I know I don’t have to worry any more. Thanks, Scott!
I tried to diagram some of Pastor’s Wank’s sentences, and found myself on A Subway Called Möbius.
But
inside female bodies
left me snarkless. The choice of a single word exposes his soul. In fact, the words “woman” and “woman” appear nowhere in his column.
To him, they are incubators.
But
inside female bodies
left me snarkless. The choice of a single word exposes his soul. In fact, the words “woman” and “woman” appear nowhere in his column.
To him, they are incubators.
Bugrit: replace one “woman” with “women”.
And that headshot! Darken the chin cleft into a little goatee, add a couple of stubby horns, and you’d have Beelzeboob Himself.
Enough. Lunch is over; back to work.
Enough. Lunch is over; back to work.
Also, I think he sometimes feels like that one girl with the pixilated face who won’t take her top off — the last bastion of decency in a Girls Gone Wild! But that’s just a hunch.
You know, it never occurred to me that they’d do this. I suppose it should have, it’s like “99 Beautiful Women And Three Ugly Ones”. But I can’t be the only one wondering how you *know* about this, Scott.
You know, it never occurred to me that they’d do this. I suppose it should have, it’s like “99 Beautiful Women And Three Ugly Ones”. But I can’t be the only one wondering how you *know* about this, Scott.
“I’mthe strange one? What about everybody else?”
Captain Frank Chapman, alone and afraid on “The Phantom Planet” (1961).
Captain Frank Chapman, alone and afraid on “The Phantom Planet” (1961).
I have to give him credit for this – there was a bit of twitching and jaw-dropping here.
A Subway Called Möbius.
Fine story, which is now a film (I hear from Teh Gazoogle), courtesy of some Argentinean director with a taste for political subtexts.
If Fritz Leiber’s “Sanity” is ever filmed, Swank is my nominee for the lead role.
Fine story, which is now a film (I hear from Teh Gazoogle), courtesy of some Argentinean director with a taste for political subtexts.
If Fritz Leiber’s “Sanity” is ever filmed, Swank is my nominee for the lead role.
Is a “womb baby” like a “land cow”?
And in that picture? I think he’s looking at me with his face eyes.
And in that picture? I think he’s looking at me with his face eyes.
After confessing about his shaky mental state and the need to take meds, I do not feel the same way about Pastor Swank as I feel about Dr. Adams or Melissa Clothier. Those two are simply malevolent bullies. Pastor Swank, on the other hand, is a cretin, a term derived from ‘Christian’ and in times past applied to the village idiot who went around mumbling to himself, god, angels, goats, etc.
Pastor Swank remains irrepressibly silent about those who send womb human outcasts to war.
Granted, it’s not the Most Dangerous Game, but it’s still nice to get out of the house and into the womb, camping with your buddies, putting out your fetal decoys, sitting in your baby blind with your dog and your gun, sippin’ a beer and occasionally blowing on your Zygote Call.
Single slow clap, building to crescendo applause from the audience.
Single slow clap, building to crescendo applause from the audience.
Not to pick nits, but to be a “moralist” don’t you have to have at least SOME nodding acquantaince of, you know, “morality”?
Kennedy was one of the countless persons championing slaying boys and girls inside female bodies.
He was Jason Voorhees, just with a bad alarm clock.
He was Jason Voorhees, just with a bad alarm clock.
boys inside female bodies?
Y’mean, like Chaz Bono?
Y’mean, like Chaz Bono?
That poster who tried Babelfish is on to something. Here’s that remarkable sentence after it’s been sent to German and back again:
Is heavy enough straight to read their finished making Israeli fruit cakes which imagined that God to the devil let alone must be, who is bent year by year.This is clearer to me than Swank’s original.
Thank God Jesus had only three years of public ministry. With enemies attacking His every holy deed, three years certainly was enough.
That’s right, Pastor Swank thinks he’s better than Jesus.
Fundamentalists (by definition) claim to take everything in the Bible as a literal example [yeah, except when it's inconvenient or doesn't prove the point they want to make at the moment]. So why don’t more fundamentalist preachers take the “three years and out” rule to heart?
That’s right, Pastor Swank thinks he’s better than Jesus.
Fundamentalists (by definition) claim to take everything in the Bible as a literal example [yeah, except when it's inconvenient or doesn't prove the point they want to make at the moment]. So why don’t more fundamentalist preachers take the “three years and out” rule to heart?
Three years of Jesus miracles leavened by the next 2000 of jagoff lunatic douchebags who couldn’t turn wine into pussy, never mind water into wine, telling the rest of us How it Should Be But Ain’t.
What did we do to deserve such punishment, o lord, and why the fuck haven’t you done anything about it?
What did we do to deserve such punishment, o lord, and why the fuck haven’t you done anything about it?
Ew. I don’t even know exactly what that “turning wine into pussy” is supposed to be about, but I can tell you that, to start with, it involves a completely unnecessary objectification. Jeezus, what’s dragging that intangible noun “pussy” into things supposed to prove? How do you think a woman might feel reading that? I can tell you: like someone just called me a name and shoved me right out of this discussion.
One becomes so utterly weary dealing daily with the nuthouse mortals throwing their power around that it becomes a numbing press upon the psyche. That in itself causes some of us moralists the leisure of simply overlooking for the umpteenth time the lunatic happenings that fill up our years here.Translation partied:
Initially, the kitchen, threw a complete emotional numbness around the power of media, 1 Byoinwo is to treat people get exhausted. So far, lost the moral source of several unique events, I have the old view must be happy to fill your time.I’m not entirely sure where that kitchen came from, but it still makes more sense than the original.
Right. Mock and criticize the largest religion in the world — something that billions of people really do hold dear and LITERALLY SACRED — and it’s A-OK because you’re among friends. But someone steps on one of your little sensitive spots — a word which you even admit you don’t even understand in context — and it’s all victim and sadness.
Spare me.
Spare me.
Let me be even more contextually clear:
I think people who clearly do not like and judge immoral things like wine and pussy (or, if you prefer, cock) are nothing but anti-human prigs who have spent the better part of our collective human existence bemoaning our Original Sin and casting us to the fiery pits of hell. And yet, for that same eternity, they’ve lost out to human nature.
They are failures. And moral scolds who have no real moral perspective. And busybodies more preoccupied with how other people live their lives than they are about how they live theirs. Most are hypocrites. Those who aren’t have about as much to tell us about human frailty as people who’ve lived in a dark box their entire lives about the splendor of a sunset against the mountains.
I think people who clearly do not like and judge immoral things like wine and pussy (or, if you prefer, cock) are nothing but anti-human prigs who have spent the better part of our collective human existence bemoaning our Original Sin and casting us to the fiery pits of hell. And yet, for that same eternity, they’ve lost out to human nature.
They are failures. And moral scolds who have no real moral perspective. And busybodies more preoccupied with how other people live their lives than they are about how they live theirs. Most are hypocrites. Those who aren’t have about as much to tell us about human frailty as people who’ve lived in a dark box their entire lives about the splendor of a sunset against the mountains.
What on earth are you talking about? That’s about the most thematically incoherent response I could have imagined. Full of assumptions about me and about my point of view. Boy, you’ll really go to the mat to defend that word, won’t you?
“It is heavy enough just to read their lambasting ‘of’ Israeli fruitcakes who thought themselves god, let alone have to minister to the devil bent, year after year.”
By adding 2 commas and one word, the paragraph is almost intelligible. See- Israeli Fruitcakes thought they were God! which makes them hard to minister to, you bet! And on top of that, ministering to the Devil bent year after year is so, um, so- I have no clue.
By adding 2 commas and one word, the paragraph is almost intelligible. See- Israeli Fruitcakes thought they were God! which makes them hard to minister to, you bet! And on top of that, ministering to the Devil bent year after year is so, um, so- I have no clue.
But is the “they” the Israeli Fruitcakes thought was god, they themselves, or some other “they” such as the Jewish people who don’t even say God’s NAME (I bet it’s “Otto”, a really embarrassing name that can be spelled the same backwards, forwards and UP-Side DOWN).
Devil bent must mean those who are bent upon being devilish? or going to Hell? or…I’m gonna take a shower now. I’m really tired, numb in the head.
Devil bent must mean those who are bent upon being devilish? or going to Hell? or…I’m gonna take a shower now. I’m really tired, numb in the head.
I was born in CT and lived there until I was 36.
We always used to say that the people from Maine were too inbred.
Pastor Swank is proof.
We always used to say that the people from Maine were too inbred.
Pastor Swank is proof.
” So why don’t more fundamentalist preachers take the “three years and out” rule to heart?”
Great idea! Term limits for wingnuts!
Great idea! Term limits for wingnuts!
So, you have no idea of what I meant or what I’m talking about. And yet you still find yourself offended! Imagine.
I’m addressing your point of view in so far as you have one. You think that the word “pussy”, no matter the context, objectifies you and all women. I’d disagree, but fair enough. And you object to the notion that turning wine into pussy is somehow objectifying, which by definition it is, yet also somehow negative, which seems to be a reach (how’s “getting laid after having a few”? Does that work better for you? That’s exactly what I’m saying.). I’m speaking specifically of how preachers are socially inept, as opposed to miracle workers like our boy Jesus — thus the juxtaposition. Crude? Sure. But, even as a veteran of the late 80s PC battles, I’d say you have to purposefully misread it to think it’s sexist in its intent. Go ahead and believe it if you want — you feelit, so it must be true!
But also, just for laughs, try and imagine someone who finds all this Christian bullshit to be literally the word of God and truly sacred coming over to this site and this thread and reading the obvious contempt many of us have to their faith and belief system. We not only mock a cretin like Swank as “psychotic” (and his moral system somehow mentally defective), we mock — verily! — “womb babies”. For those who sincerely find abortion to be murder, it would seem that we’re making fun of the brutal deaths of millions of small babies. Why doesn’t that register for your moral sense of what is OK to Write and What is Not?
I am making such assumptions on the basis of what you are choosing to be offended by.
I’m addressing your point of view in so far as you have one. You think that the word “pussy”, no matter the context, objectifies you and all women. I’d disagree, but fair enough. And you object to the notion that turning wine into pussy is somehow objectifying, which by definition it is, yet also somehow negative, which seems to be a reach (how’s “getting laid after having a few”? Does that work better for you? That’s exactly what I’m saying.). I’m speaking specifically of how preachers are socially inept, as opposed to miracle workers like our boy Jesus — thus the juxtaposition. Crude? Sure. But, even as a veteran of the late 80s PC battles, I’d say you have to purposefully misread it to think it’s sexist in its intent. Go ahead and believe it if you want — you feelit, so it must be true!
But also, just for laughs, try and imagine someone who finds all this Christian bullshit to be literally the word of God and truly sacred coming over to this site and this thread and reading the obvious contempt many of us have to their faith and belief system. We not only mock a cretin like Swank as “psychotic” (and his moral system somehow mentally defective), we mock — verily! — “womb babies”. For those who sincerely find abortion to be murder, it would seem that we’re making fun of the brutal deaths of millions of small babies. Why doesn’t that register for your moral sense of what is OK to Write and What is Not?
I am making such assumptions on the basis of what you are choosing to be offended by.
I visualized a funnel and bottle of Bordeaux (not vintage) reading
“Turning wine into pussy”, tho I guess it meant getting the woman drunk?
Neither idea really appeals to me.
“Turning wine into pussy”, tho I guess it meant getting the woman drunk?
Neither idea really appeals to me.
Fundamentalists (by definition) claim to take everything in the Bible as a literal example [yeah, except when it’s inconvenient or doesn’t prove the point they want to make at the moment]. So why don’t more fundamentalist preachers take the “three years and out” rule to heart?
I’m so claiming the spike concession.
I’m so claiming the spike concession.
I don’t even know exactly what that “turning wine into pussy” is supposed to be about
It says that Swank couldn’t get laid if he got his date drunk.
It says that Swank couldn’t get laid if he got his date drunk.
let alone have to minister to the devil bent
There are penis pumps that will fix that.
There are penis pumps that will fix that.
shorter long-winded me: what actor212 said.
Well, I”M offended!
Have some more wine, FC…
Jay B., the fact that I said I don’t know what you’re talking about speaks to your incoherence, not mine. I’ve actually written very little about who I am and what I believe; it’s all you making your defensive and projective interpretations of who you think I am.
I pointed out one word in your response. You flew off the handle at being called on your offensive language and leapt to excoriate me for having made fun of the Swank and for the swipe I took at fundamentalists; this on a post that does a far more thorough job of it. The only reason I can fathom for your disproportionate response is that it hits a little too close to home. How dare a woman call the great Jay B. on his language? Her opinion must be invalid. Must be one of those non-”veterans of the PC wars” (WTF is that?), a touchy-feely Baby Boomer, for example.
I was clear that I thought the use of the word “pussy” was offensive; it belies a categorization of the female body as something to be gotten and used, and gosh, it sure helps if you get the pussy drunk first, right? I’m damn sick of coming onto websites where I think I’m among friends and being brought to a screeching stop by men’s casual use of slurs against women. The me-too jokes are really great, too; thanks for having my back, folks.
Yeah, misogyny bothers me a hell of a lot more than making fun of fundamentalists who selectively quote the Bible to support their supposed “literal interpretations.” You’re apparently trying to shame me into thinking differently. Check out that beam in your own eye, brother. Whatever that chip on your shoulder is, you could do a better job of delineating it before going off on someone for inadvertently knocking it off.
I pointed out one word in your response. You flew off the handle at being called on your offensive language and leapt to excoriate me for having made fun of the Swank and for the swipe I took at fundamentalists; this on a post that does a far more thorough job of it. The only reason I can fathom for your disproportionate response is that it hits a little too close to home. How dare a woman call the great Jay B. on his language? Her opinion must be invalid. Must be one of those non-”veterans of the PC wars” (WTF is that?), a touchy-feely Baby Boomer, for example.
I was clear that I thought the use of the word “pussy” was offensive; it belies a categorization of the female body as something to be gotten and used, and gosh, it sure helps if you get the pussy drunk first, right? I’m damn sick of coming onto websites where I think I’m among friends and being brought to a screeching stop by men’s casual use of slurs against women. The me-too jokes are really great, too; thanks for having my back, folks.
Yeah, misogyny bothers me a hell of a lot more than making fun of fundamentalists who selectively quote the Bible to support their supposed “literal interpretations.” You’re apparently trying to shame me into thinking differently. Check out that beam in your own eye, brother. Whatever that chip on your shoulder is, you could do a better job of delineating it before going off on someone for inadvertently knocking it off.
“shorter long-winded me: what actor212 said.
Left by Jay B. on August 31st, 2009″
What actor212 said was kind of funny. Jay B., too bad you couldn’t have thought of it before unloading a lot of hypersensitive bullshit on Lu.
Jay B., I don’t know anything about you. Here’s a little about me: I am old, and I remember life as a lefty in the late 1960s and 70s, and it got tedious as hell to always shut up at the rhetoric that used words like pussy and cunt and faggot against the establishment, like I wasn’t supposed to take it personally, because they were just saying it to insult our opponents. (How? Oh right, shut up.) And what, I’m supposed to say, um, okay, if it’ll end the war sooner, and besides, Stokely said that my only position at this shindig is prone.
Ignoring that shit for the greater good accomplished nothing.
So now, all of these years later, I have to wonder, Jay B., why you couldn’t already know how to be clearer, and why it doesn’t matter in the slightest that you might insult those of us who are supposedly your allies. Instead, you unleash a tirade. Nice work.
Left by Jay B. on August 31st, 2009″
What actor212 said was kind of funny. Jay B., too bad you couldn’t have thought of it before unloading a lot of hypersensitive bullshit on Lu.
Jay B., I don’t know anything about you. Here’s a little about me: I am old, and I remember life as a lefty in the late 1960s and 70s, and it got tedious as hell to always shut up at the rhetoric that used words like pussy and cunt and faggot against the establishment, like I wasn’t supposed to take it personally, because they were just saying it to insult our opponents. (How? Oh right, shut up.) And what, I’m supposed to say, um, okay, if it’ll end the war sooner, and besides, Stokely said that my only position at this shindig is prone.
Ignoring that shit for the greater good accomplished nothing.
So now, all of these years later, I have to wonder, Jay B., why you couldn’t already know how to be clearer, and why it doesn’t matter in the slightest that you might insult those of us who are supposedly your allies. Instead, you unleash a tirade. Nice work.
Also I think you are a jerk for spoiling my Swanktastic fun time.
You didn’t point out one word in my response. You impaled yourself on it:
Jeezus, what’s dragging that intangible noun “pussy” into things supposed to prove? How do you think a woman might feel reading that? I can tell you: like someone just called me a name and shoved me right out of this discussion.
But yeah, I “went off the handle”. I responded in kind. You want to get all dramatic about my dehumanizing prose? Fine, let’s point out dehumanization. Let’s point out what seems to be a rather immense double standard between your acceptance of language that is dehumanizing to other large groups and your intolerance of language that you feel dehumanizes yours.
What words should I use? Which ones shouldn’t I? Does context matter? Subtext? How about familiarity with an audience? Even if I meant to insult the entire female gender, who else can I insult around here anyway? A reference guide would be nice.
The point is a lot of speech is offensive — gravely offensive — to someone or another. I’d say that many Christians would be pretty fucking offended at the language lobbed at them around here. Seems pretty freewheeling and insulting.
Conversely, I don’t feel that what I said was particularly misogynist so much as a crude continuation of the way I feel about evangelicals (I don’t think Swank is a “fundamentalist” if it matters, Eye Mote) — that people like the Pastor have no business telling anyone about morality because they are lacking it in many basically human ways.
But you feel that I tossed you and your sisters right off the bus, context and subject be damned. It’s your right, and I can’t convince you otherwise (protesting that I enjoy and appreciatepussy would make me the bad guy here, I’m guessing. And saying that, no really, I’ve never had a problem with women or feminism seems too defensive) and I’m left with the thought that obscenity and insult, intentional or otherwise, is often in the eye of the beholder.
Jeezus, what’s dragging that intangible noun “pussy” into things supposed to prove? How do you think a woman might feel reading that? I can tell you: like someone just called me a name and shoved me right out of this discussion.
But yeah, I “went off the handle”. I responded in kind. You want to get all dramatic about my dehumanizing prose? Fine, let’s point out dehumanization. Let’s point out what seems to be a rather immense double standard between your acceptance of language that is dehumanizing to other large groups and your intolerance of language that you feel dehumanizes yours.
What words should I use? Which ones shouldn’t I? Does context matter? Subtext? How about familiarity with an audience? Even if I meant to insult the entire female gender, who else can I insult around here anyway? A reference guide would be nice.
The point is a lot of speech is offensive — gravely offensive — to someone or another. I’d say that many Christians would be pretty fucking offended at the language lobbed at them around here. Seems pretty freewheeling and insulting.
Conversely, I don’t feel that what I said was particularly misogynist so much as a crude continuation of the way I feel about evangelicals (I don’t think Swank is a “fundamentalist” if it matters, Eye Mote) — that people like the Pastor have no business telling anyone about morality because they are lacking it in many basically human ways.
But you feel that I tossed you and your sisters right off the bus, context and subject be damned. It’s your right, and I can’t convince you otherwise (protesting that I enjoy and appreciatepussy would make me the bad guy here, I’m guessing. And saying that, no really, I’ve never had a problem with women or feminism seems too defensive) and I’m left with the thought that obscenity and insult, intentional or otherwise, is often in the eye of the beholder.
“…What words should I use? Which ones shouldn’t I? Does context matter? Subtext? How about familiarity with an audience? Even if I meant to insult the entire female gender, who else can I insult around here anyway? A reference guide would be nice….”
Not my problem. Not my responsibility.
Not my problem. Not my responsibility.
You gotta love the left. We’re so fucking empathic, we feel every owie. At least our in-fights are literate. If this were the right, you’d merely be brandishing your machine guns and grunting. That’s something, I guess.
For what it’s worth, I understood Jay’s joke and thought it was funny. But then again, I like Sadly, No and find Shakesville silly, so different storks*, etc.
*I fully intended to type “strokes,” but let the error stand because I think it goes nicely with Pastor Swank’s womb babies.
*I fully intended to type “strokes,” but let the error stand because I think it goes nicely with Pastor Swank’s womb babies.
¿Different storks for different forks?
It is obvious that Jay B. and Swank both drink from the same trough of incoherence. Only difference is that Swank actually makes more sense. And that is really saying something.
Back to the subject of Swanksta’s column: It never ceases to amaze me that wingnuts who rail against abortion always condemn doctors or (left-leaning) politicians who support it, but NEVER seem to condemn the women who choose to terminate pregnancies. You’d think, reading what these idiots say, that pregnant women were being randomly dragging off the street and forced to get abortions. No, even that doesn’t quite get at what they’re saying. It’s like women don’t even exist at all. Try asking them if a woman who gets an abortion should be punished, and most of the time, they’ll completely blank out-the most frequent respoinse seems to be, “I never thought about it.”
It’s almost eerily bizarre.
It’s almost eerily bizarre.
In Jay B.’s defense, his potential choice of words was pretty limited in the context of the joke. “Change wine into vaginas”, although kind of melodic, doesn’t make much sense.
Hey, now, come on, guys.
Jay B fucked up and didn’t make his point as clearly as he could, altho I sure as hell seemed to get it pretty easily.
He was attacked for his wording, and that point was made back about as obtusely as his original joke.
And so now we have this whole “steal the bacon” thread where everyone is waiting for the next fuck up to be posted to attack it.
So here. I’ll throw you all a bone.
Semprini.
There. I said it. Wanna make something of it, mofoers???
Jay B fucked up and didn’t make his point as clearly as he could, altho I sure as hell seemed to get it pretty easily.
He was attacked for his wording, and that point was made back about as obtusely as his original joke.
And so now we have this whole “steal the bacon” thread where everyone is waiting for the next fuck up to be posted to attack it.
So here. I’ll throw you all a bone.
Semprini.
There. I said it. Wanna make something of it, mofoers???
Of course, anyone who challenges me will find I’m just a pussy…
Not my problem. Not my responsibility.
What a bullshit copout. I didn’t call anyone a pussy to use it as an emasculating insult or to reduce all women to servitude — but yes, in fact, people do get drunk and get laid and in dirty, sexualized language we use words like “pussy” or, say, “stud” “cock” and all kinds of other naughty words. I didn’t refer to pussy as ugly or bacony or playdoughy. Hell, I didn’t even call it Nashville Pussy. I didn’t attach any value to the use of “pussy”, except to turn a crude phrase against moral scolds who act as everyone’s rector because God told them to be so.
Who told you?
Irreverence for me, not for thee, I suppose. For some “delusional Jesus freaks” causes insult for some bizarre reason, for others “pussy”. It’s all in how you roll.
I apologize to Scott and everyone else. It’s exactly this kind of meaningless semantic bullshit that made me happy to find a vein of folks on the Internet for whom ancient PC codes are obsolete.
What a bullshit copout. I didn’t call anyone a pussy to use it as an emasculating insult or to reduce all women to servitude — but yes, in fact, people do get drunk and get laid and in dirty, sexualized language we use words like “pussy” or, say, “stud” “cock” and all kinds of other naughty words. I didn’t refer to pussy as ugly or bacony or playdoughy. Hell, I didn’t even call it Nashville Pussy. I didn’t attach any value to the use of “pussy”, except to turn a crude phrase against moral scolds who act as everyone’s rector because God told them to be so.
Who told you?
Irreverence for me, not for thee, I suppose. For some “delusional Jesus freaks” causes insult for some bizarre reason, for others “pussy”. It’s all in how you roll.
I apologize to Scott and everyone else. It’s exactly this kind of meaningless semantic bullshit that made me happy to find a vein of folks on the Internet for whom ancient PC codes are obsolete.
I’m done with it.
Bill S., isn’t it weird that when anti-abortion folks do mention the pregnant women (and you are right, they try not to because there’s such a huge mine-field there around the concept of incarcerating women who’ve had an abortion, or incarcerating – or maybe renditioning? – pregnant women caught trying to get an abortion) they almost always cast her as (a) an unfortunate girl, or (b) an almost sociopathic sex-committing chick whose idea of a good time is getting the girlfriends together for a wild weekend of abortions and mani-pedis.
Okay, (b) overstates the case. They never get that graphic – it’s more like “I don’t want to pay for some slut who goes out and has a good time blah blah blah”.
So in the rare circumstance that the pregnant person is personalized, it’s almost in a fetishized way: the young girl gone astray who needs our help and protection. They don’t want to think about the perimenopausal woman who gets the shock of her life when, at the time that her periods are supposed to get irregular, she finds out, OMG, I’m pregnant!
Not every 44 year old with almost-grown children is going to be able or willing to go through with a late pregnancy. But she’s supposed to anyway, right? And give it up for adoption? Can you imagine a 20 something telling his or her mother that she has to have that baby or die trying, unless she wants to get prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Nah. See, everyone thinks their own exceptions are so exceptional.
Now I reckon I have to look up semprini. ::shakes fist::
Bill S., isn’t it weird that when anti-abortion folks do mention the pregnant women (and you are right, they try not to because there’s such a huge mine-field there around the concept of incarcerating women who’ve had an abortion, or incarcerating – or maybe renditioning? – pregnant women caught trying to get an abortion) they almost always cast her as (a) an unfortunate girl, or (b) an almost sociopathic sex-committing chick whose idea of a good time is getting the girlfriends together for a wild weekend of abortions and mani-pedis.
Okay, (b) overstates the case. They never get that graphic – it’s more like “I don’t want to pay for some slut who goes out and has a good time blah blah blah”.
So in the rare circumstance that the pregnant person is personalized, it’s almost in a fetishized way: the young girl gone astray who needs our help and protection. They don’t want to think about the perimenopausal woman who gets the shock of her life when, at the time that her periods are supposed to get irregular, she finds out, OMG, I’m pregnant!
Not every 44 year old with almost-grown children is going to be able or willing to go through with a late pregnancy. But she’s supposed to anyway, right? And give it up for adoption? Can you imagine a 20 something telling his or her mother that she has to have that baby or die trying, unless she wants to get prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
Nah. See, everyone thinks their own exceptions are so exceptional.
Now I reckon I have to look up semprini. ::shakes fist::
We were typing at the same time, Jay B. As I said, I’m done with it.
Good morning to you and everyone else.
Good morning to you and everyone else.
(b) an almost sociopathic sex-committing chick whose idea of a good time is getting the girlfriends together for a wild weekend of abortions and mani-pedis.
Got phone numbers?
Got phone numbers?
(b) an almost sociopathic sex-committing chick whose idea of a good time is getting the girlfriends together for a wild weekend of abortions and mani-pedis.
Got phone numbers?
photos would be helpful too…
Got phone numbers?
photos would be helpful too…
I had a boil on my semprini, actor, and that’s not bloody funny!
Is a “womb baby” like a “land cow”?
I believe it is meant to distinguish from those such as Pastor S. Wank, who is clearly an “asshole baby”.
So sorry to talk about the actual posting.
I believe it is meant to distinguish from those such as Pastor S. Wank, who is clearly an “asshole baby”.
So sorry to talk about the actual posting.
TUNA FISH!
[...] My personal favorite of the B-Listers has long been Pastor J. Grant Swank. Whether it’s claiming that earthquakes are sent by God as a dry run for the Apocalypse, calling Ted Kennedy a baby killer mere days after his death, or accusing President Obama of being a “stealth Muslim” working 25 hours a day to destroy America for his Mohammedan masters, the good Pastor goes Full Metal Wingnut on your ass at every opportunity. [...]
[...] My personal favorite of the B-Listers has long been Pastor J. Grant Swank. Whether it’s claiming that earthquakes are sent by God as a dry run for the Apocalypse, calling Ted Kennedy a baby killer mere days after his death, or accusing President Obama of being a “stealth Muslim” working 25 hours a day to destroy America for his Mohammedan masters, the good Pastor goes Full Metal Wingnut on your ass at every opportunity. [...]
No comments:
Post a Comment