May 16, 2004 by s.z.

Jesus Christ, Romance Author

It's Sunday, and time for some Biblically-based courtship.  So, if you go to the Young Ladies Christian Fellowship site, and then to their Courtship Stories ("written by the Author of Romance, our Lord Jesus Christ"), you can learn how it's done.

First on the list is Amie's story, which is just a minute-by-minute account of her wedding day, but it does include this special moment.

Then the big moment came. Pastor said, "You may now kiss the bride." We had been waiting for this for a long time. I had given a lot of thought to the whole matter, and even though I would have it no other way, wondering why the first kiss had to be in public. I had always worried I'd make a fool of myself. But when he said that, every inkling of nervousness abandoned me and it went fine. Great, actually! :-) And I even hoped, rather than feared, that people would be able to tell it was the first time. That made it extra special.   

Yes, having everybody know that you (unlike some slutty girls in the congregation) waited until the ring was on your finger before you let your lips be touched by a man's does make it extra special.

And then there's the story of Samuel Crank's courtship of Aimee Beaver, as told by Samuel's father:

Samuel was home schooled from the middle of first grade on through high school. Following that he continued to live at home while commuting to college pursuing an engineering degree. Though he had interactions with other young people at church, he was committed to courtship and did not date and tried to avoid any relationship with a young lady beyond that of a brother in Christ. By the time he finished college at age 21, he had a good job lined up in the Dallas area (we lived in Houston) and seemed ready for marriage. But at that time there was no one on the immediate horizon that seemed both ready for marriage and a possible good match for him. Samuel would have preferred to be married right after college and before moving away from home, but instead he was moving to the Dallas area alone, to begin his new job. His younger sister was already being courted and would likely be married soon, but he had no prospects. As his parents we wondered how this would work out - we would also have preferred him to find a wife while still living at home!

Because if you let their children ever live on their own before being properly wed, they might, you know, kiss someone of the opposite sex and doom their immortal souls.

Anyway, eventually Mrs. Beaver, Aimee's mother, hears about Samuel from a friend of Mrs. Crank's, and the Beavers go hear him preach.

They were all very impressed with Samuel (including 16 year old Aimee).

I'm sure they were -- and they do have old maid Aimee to marry off.  They invite the Cranks to come visit their home, but the Cranks never do.

However, a couple of years go by, and the Cranks still haven't found anybody suitable for Samuel (who isn't getting any younger).  They recall Aimee, and finally go have that dinner with her and her family.  The Cranks decide on the ride home that that their son should marry her.  Mr. Crank starts working on Samuel (reminds him that he needs a wife and SOON, because he's already in his mid-20's; describes this homeschooled young woman he's found who would be perfect for him, etc.) and eventually gets his son to agree to ask Aimee's father if he can court her.  But Samuel apparently lollygags, because Mr. Crank asks Mr. Beaver for him.  Aimee's dad says okay.

So Samuel starts spending time with the Beaver family.  After a few months, he has developed a tepid affection for Aimee, and she seems to be able to stand him.  The Cranks and the Beavers have "regular discussions" to monitor how things are going between the young people, and in December they decide that it's okay for Aimee and Sam to become "more emotionally involved" (which apparently means they are now allowed to talk to each other).  In March, both sets of parents give Samuel permission to propose to Aimee -- which is just a formality, because she has about as much say in all this as Samuel does.  And then both sets of parents say the couple can marry in August. 

The couple enjoyed their first kiss at the end of the ceremony. They now reside happily in Lewisville, Texas, just north of Dallas.

We wish them all the best, but imagine their parents are still giving them detailed instructions each morning on how to live their lives. 

But probably the most educational courtship account that the Christian Ladies have to offer concerns Rebbeca and Ben's road to the altar.  Here's Rebecca's "short version" of her story (the long one runs nine pages):

I read about Ben in a newspaper when I was 16, was interested in marrying him, and prayed for him. Years later (seven to be exact), I met his father at a seminar, and he decided (unbeknownst to me) that I might make a good wife for his son and invited my family over to meet his. Ben decided after that first visit that I was the one for him, and that was that. :o)

Well, that wasn't quite that, for Rebecca's story is educational because it includes the 400-item questionnaire that her father required all of Rebecca's potential suitors to complete before they were allowed to spend any time with his daughter.  Since Ben was the only one who answered all the questions, he got Rebecca,  Sure, she was put off at first by his reticence, but it turned out that he had made a vow to never speak to girls -- but once they were engaged (and it was okay to talk to her), Rebecca found out, through the Lord's efforts, that he was wonderful, and they will be married next month.

Anyway, since I'm sure that some of you are the parents of daughters, let me share with you some of Rebecca's father's Courtship Questions -- but you really should print out the whole list and give to any potential swains before that first pre-courtship meeting.

Spiritual Questions

14.  Which Bible version(s) do you believe to be the Word of God in the English language?  Which Bible version(s) do you read and study from?  Please give the reason(s) for your answers.

15  Do you believe in the Biblical doctrine of creation (not theistic evolution, which says that God created the universe, but He used evolution to do it)?

Financial Questions

4.  Are you committed to giving your wife all your assets if you should die?

9.  Are you willing to show us a copy of your credit report, bank statements, and other assets, including possible inheritances?

Personal Questions

1.  Are you a virgin?

4.  Do you have a conviction for a "hands-off" courtship and betrothal i.e. no physical contact before marriage?  If yes, have you ever violated this conviction in the past, or if no, have you had physical contact in past relationships or friendships?  If yes, please explain the extent of your physical contact or involvement in each relationship or friendship, and if you felt convicted about it, how you cleared your conscience in these matter(s)?

28.  Do you vote faithfully and do you vote for righteousness?  If so, please tell us who you have voted for and how you have voted in the past and why you voted that way, e.g., major candidates and important issues?

41.  What do you plan to be doing five years from now if the LORD tarries?

Medical questions

7.  Is there anything that you know of that would prevent you from fathering children?

[Note: if you answer "condoms," you're out of the running right here, because not only does Pastor Easley not believe in birth control, but he also doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor.]

Family Questions

3.  If saved, are your family members first generation Christians, second, third, etc.?  (This is to help determine the background and spiritual heritage of your family.)

10.  What, if any, are the generational curses, sins, or family transgressions you will bring into the marriage?  Are there any suicides in your immediate family?  (These questions are very important.  There is a difference between a transgression, an iniquity, and a sin)

Questions Concerning Your Future Wife

15.  Are there any situations in which you would allow your wife to work outside the home?

18.  How do you want and expect her to cook?

All you single young men out there should probably download the whole list and start completing it now, because you never know when your father is going to decide that you've met your chosen mate, and it's going to take you a while to answer all the questions.

5:09:46 AM