April 15, 2004 by s.z.

Hoo-Ha From . . .oh, you know: Our Favorite Word Merriam-Webster Online has a survey asking "What's your favorite word?" To participate, click on the link above before next Monday and type in your choice, then click the "Send" button. M-W will announce the results on April 26. We wouldn't dream of trying to stuff the ballot box, but nor would we discourage anyone from doing what we did and entering the word kerfuffle. Yeah, because what honor would there be in having kerfuffle win the prestigious Merriam-Webster survey through ballot box stuffing? Anyway, since it pays to increase your word power, WSJ, here are some synomyns for "commotion," courtesy of Merriam-Webster: catouse, rumpus, shindy, pother And here are some synonyms for "Best of the Web": applesauce, balderdash, baloney, bilge, blague, blah, blather, blatherskite, bosh, bull, bullshit, bunk, bunkum, bushwa, claptrap, cobblers, codswallop, crap, crock, double-talk, drip, drivel, drool, eyewash, fiddle-faddle, flapdoodle, flimflam, flummadiddle, gas, guff, hogwash, hokum, hooey, horsefeathers, horseshit, hot air, humbug, jiggery-pokery, malarkey, meshuggaas, moonshine, piffle, pishposh, poppycock, punk, rot, rubbish, shit, slipslop, tomfoolery, tommyrot, tosh, trash, trumpery, twaddle, whangdoodle, windbaggery.  So, vote for your favorite.  In honor of you-know-you. 8:18:02 PM

Everybody's Worst Nightmare: Ann Coulter! Ann Coulter's column for this week is, predictably, about how political correctness and Jamie Gorelick caused 9/11. Here are the first couple of paragraphs, just to remind you that Ann is an irritating, but inept, liar: Last week, 9-11 commissioner John Lehman revealed that "it was the policy (before 9-11) and I believe remains the policy today to fine airlines if they have more than two young Arab males in secondary questioning because that's discriminatory." Hmmm ... Is 19 more than two? Why, yes, I believe it is. So if two Jordanian cab drivers are searched before boarding a flight out of Newark, Osama bin Laden could then board that plane without being questioned. I'm no security expert, but I'm pretty sure this gives terrorists an opening for an attack. In a sane world, Lehman's statement would have made headlines across the country the next day. But not one newspaper, magazine or TV show has mentioned that it is official government policy to prohibit searching more than two Arabs per flight. As you will recall, Lehman "revealed" this while he was supposed to be questioning Condi Rice, the National Security Adviser.  This is what actually was said: LEHMAN: Were you aware that it was the policy of the Justice Department - and I'd like you to comment as to whether these continuities are still in place - before I go to Justice, were you aware that it was the policy and I believe remains the policy today to fine airlines if they have more than two young Arab males in secondary questioning because that's discriminatory? RICE: No, I have to say that the kind of inside arrangements for the FAA are not really in my... Since this was part of Condi's testimony to the 9/11 Commission, it made ALL the papers.  But I haven't noticed any confirmation of Lehman's revelation from the FAA as yet -- maybe the papers are waiting for that before they use his statement in their headlines (since, if this isn't a sane world, it's at least one where the media, even the Fox News part, has higher journalistic ethics than Ann).  And anyway, bin Laden isn't young, so even if Lehman's info and Ann's interpretation of it are correct (which I really, really doubt), he could still be searched, even if two Jordanian cab drivers had already been subjected to "secondary questionning" (for some reason other than their ethnicity, we would hope). And why does Ann think bin Laden is in Newark?  Does she have inside info, or is she just slamming Newark because an oafish security screener there actually searched HER unmentionables?  For Ann is a big fan of racial profiling, because it can be used to discriminate against swarthy males (which is one of Ann's hobbies), and because she doesn't think the War on Terror should inconvenience her in the slightest (because, you know, she's rich and white). But Ann, if you want to know who to blame for the lack of airline profiling, you might want to start with . . . Phyllis Schlafly!  Here are some snippets from a Conservative News Service story from 1999: A new system of airline "passenger profiling," endorsed by Vice-President Al Gore which he claims will enhance air transport security, is drawing fire from conservative and civil rights groups alike for being "ineffective at best" and potentially dangerous for its Big Brother snooping and inevitable discrimination. "We don't want to live in a society where the government is monitoring everything we do," Phyllis Schlafly, president of the conservative Eagle Forum and an outspoken critic of the new system, told CNS. [snip] "First of all I don't see the threat. And if there was one, I don't see how this system would help. It's totally invasive," Lisa Dean, vice president of Technology Policy with the conservative Free Congress Foundation, told CNS. . . ."I don't see where collecting information on passengers is in any way effective, and I can't think of a time in history when it would have been. Even with Pan Am 103, this system wouldn't have been able to detect that," Dean said. So, I think it's clear that Phyllis Schlafly and the Free Congress Foundation are responsible for 9/11. Anyway, the rest of Ann's column is the usual mixture of deliberate distortions, half truths, and outright lies.  . . .And in other news, she's giving a speech at Penn State tonight.  That's the kind of thing Ben Shapiro must have been referring to when he wrote his book about colleges being Mind Dungeons.    Anyway, here's the scoop, per the college paper: Renowned author, commentator and lawyer Ann Coulter will be making her first trip to Penn State at 8 tonight in 100 Thomas. The Penn State Young Americans for Freedom (YAF) is hosting Coulter's lecture, entitled "Liberal's Worst Nightmare." A Liberal's Worst Nightmare would be waking up next to Ann Coulter.  Heck, that would cause pretty much any sane person's blood to run cold. Penn State YAF Chairman Toby Eberhart said he is excited for Coulter's lecture because she is a high-profile speaker who has appeared on TV shows such as Larry King Live and Good Morning America. "She has a plethora of knowledge," he said. "To get someone with her caliber and recognition to speak on this issue makes students tend to take it a little more seriously." She has a "plethora of knowledge"??? Per Merriam-Webster: Main Entry: pleth·o·ra Pronunciation: 'ple-th&-r& Function: noun 1 : a bodily condition characterized by an excess of blood and marked by turgescence and a florid complexion 2 : EXCESS, SUPERFLUITY Ann certainly doesn't have an excess (or even an MDA) of knowledge, so I guess Toby was using the first definition (and was delicately referring to Ann's Adam's apple).   YAF works to send conservative speakers to college campuses. Patrick Coyle, the foundation's agent, said the group has been sponsoring Coulter for many years "She is one of the few speakers who speaks passionately to defend conservative ideas," he said. . . ."The speakers that are most popular are the ones with backbones, and Ann certainly is not afraid to show hers," he said. While what Coyle meant was that Ann is not afraid to show her tailbone, it's true that she dares to show most of her bones -- because they're poking through her skin.  "Her speech is not set in stone," he said. "It could be anything that is going on in her life right now," he said. The title of her speech could be misleading, he said. "She doesn't travel around with a super speech, but she will address issues that are relevant to the time," he said. I admire Coyle for frankly admitting that Ann doesn't have a super speech -- I bet he'd agree that it's downright bad if we pressed him.  I like to think that Cyle would been one of the few conservatives to concede that Bush's press conference was the most painfully inept recent peformance not included in Gigli --but that might just be me expecting too much of ol' Patrick. But what with all the recent conservative concern about not exposing kids to Janet Jackson's breast, Howard Stern's bad language and criticism of the President, and basic cable, I don't think Penn State should let Ann tell their students what's going on her in life.  I mean, she's the woman who said, "Let's say I go out every night, I meet a guy and have sex with him. Good for me. I'm not married."  Of course, that's not very likely to be going on in her life right now, seeing as there aren't that many men that desperate for sex -- but you never know, and we must think of the children. In any case, whatever Ann speaks about, I'm sure it will be hateful, untrue, and well worth her $10,000 educational-rate speaking fee.  If anyone attends, let us know all about it. 4:41:00 AM

The Bright Side From The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: Former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore's failed bid to place a Ten Commandments monument in the rotunda of the state Judicial Building has come with a pricetag: $549,430. Alabama taxpayers must pay that amount to the three organizations who sued Moore to force the removal of the 2 1/2-ton granite monument. [snip Steve Melchior, a lawyer who represented Moore, responded to Wednesday's settlement with a harsh attack against former Alabama Attorney General Bill Pryor, the federal judiciary and the Montgomery-based Southern Poverty Law Center. "On the bright side of things, the people of the state of Alabama only had to pay approximately 10 cents per person to expose former attorney general Bill Pryor for the moral and ethical coward that he is, and the extent to which activist federal judges will go to rewrite American history and the First Amendment," Melchior said. As a money-saving alternative, if any other states or countries want moral and ethical cowards exposed, hire me and I will do it at a price of just nine cents per person (you must have a minimum of 5,000,000 people to get this low group rate).  As a bonus, I will let you know to what extent Walt Disney will go to rewrite American history.  2:48:13 AM

Scary Thought for the Day "President Bush was at his best last night, in an hour-long televised speech and news conference on the war on terror." --James Taranto And our "Criswell of the Day" Award Goes to Glenstonecottage, who commented re the "A Few Thoughts on the Preznit's Press Conference" item: In answer to a question about possibly restructuring the FBI: So long as I'm the president, I will press for freedom. I believe so strongly in the power of freedom. You know why I do? Because I've seen freedom work right here in our own country. And we can look forward to somebody from the Townhall gang writing that if anyone thinks this was an atrociously stupid answer, well, that's just because they don't believe in freedom like Our Preznit. glenstonecottage • 4/14/04; 5:14:01 AM And here's Taranto, commenting on a Josh Marshall post about the press conference: So freedom is just a cliché? Such sneering cynicism is certainly a far cry from "pay any price, bear any burden." If this is really what the 21st-century Democratic Party thinks of freedom, maybe John Kerry should make Bobby McGee his running mate. Hey, James, if you think that "I believe so strongly in the power of freedom" is a good answer to the question of how you are going to revamp the FBI, then maybe George Bush should make Elmo Oxygen* his running mate. (*You know, because of the "I believe, so strongly, in mayonnaise" line.)  12:33:29 AM