May 21, 2004 by s.z.

George the Hero and Laura, His Rescuer Remember how we said yesterday that many in the Bush campaign see Laura as Bush's biggest asset.  Well, here's more on that meme, from the Boston Globe piece entitled Her husband embattled, Mrs. Bush plays rescuer: With war and job anxiety taking a toll on the president's female support, Mrs. Bush's popularity with women will become a critical asset for the Republican ticket. In the Battleground Poll, Senator John F. Kerry, the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee, won 55 percent of the women's vote compared to 42 percent for Bush. Men favored the president, 54 percent to 42 percent. The Bush team is counting on his 56-year-old wife to energize the party faithful and shore up the president's eroding support among suburban women and soccer moms by humanizing him as a caring family man, softening his tough-guy image while emphasizing his steady hand in scary times and reviving the compassion agenda of education, health care, faith-based charity, and tax cuts that helped Bush narrow the historic gender gap in 2000. 'This administration is pretty macho, and it's presented the male version of war," said Representative Deborah Pryce of Ohio, chairwoman of the House Republican Conference. ''Security is an issue that every woman, every family, every mother should take seriously, and perhaps the first lady can add some insights into that." Battleground pollster Celinda Lake, a Democrat, said: ''Laura Bush is very instrumental to the major Republican strategy of targeting women. She reinforces Bush's education message and compassionate conservatism, which has gone by the wayside, and also that he is loyal in his marriage and upholds family values." The article says that while speaking to a group of mostly middle-aged, white women at at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas, Laura praised George's "strength, steadiness, courage, compassion, character, and good humor."    So, basically the fine folks at Bush-Cheney 2004 are trying to market George as a Harlequin Romance hero.  To evaluate how well they are doing, let's review the Romance Writers' Ten Steps to a Yummy Hero checklist:  1. Does he reflect current social values? The nineties brought the bad boy hero.  Bad boy heroes still sell, but the father figure seems to be more prominent these days. Men who like kids and babies, or who learn to like them, are very popular. As we saw from the Boston Globe, the Bush Campaign is trying to change George's Tough Guy/Macho Jerk  image to that of a caring, compassionate family man who likes kids (other people's more than his own).  But how does George measure up to Rafe Kendrick, the hero of Baby Love? Little does Rafe Kendrick suspect that his long-frozen heart will crack wide open when he offers the warmth of his coat to a desperate runaway and her hungry baby. Maggie Stanley has little reason to trust any man, much less Rafe, the drunken cowboy she meets hitching a ride in a boxcar. But when he puts his own life in danger to protect Maggie and her baby, Jaimie, from the lowlifes sharing their railroad car, she's forced to place her battered body and equally battered heart into Rafe's hands for safekeeping.   Well, George does have the "drunken cowbody" part down, but has his long-frozen heart actually cracked wide open?  I'd have to say no.  So, while I give the Bush campaign credit for trying to make their hero yummy, I don't know that they suceeeded. 2. Does he possess universal hero traits? Make a list of what you find admirable in a man. Chances are most of them are universal attributes like honor, compassion, courage, intelligence, loyalty and a good sense of humor. Laura claims that George has honor, compassion, courage, loyalty, and a good sense of humor.  But listen to this description of Ross Marshall, hero of Killing Moon: "Marshall is everything a romantic hero should be: handsome, intelligent, worldly, struggling with his inner demons."  Plus, he's a werewolf P.I. whose enhanced senses allow him to track down serial killers.  I have to say: George is sure no Ross Marshall! 3. Does he compare favorably with current movie and television heroes?     Hollywood created the cowboy hero, and although he's not as common on the screen as he once was, he's still welcome in the hearts of most romance readers.  There's also something about a man in uniform, whether connected with law enforcement, firefighting or the military, that shouts hero. George is both a range-clearing cowboy and a flightjacket-wearing pilot.  Point to George. 4. Does he compare favorably with the heroes of best-selling authors? ...   Anne Stuart leans toward fallen angels, and Elizabeth Lowell likes a hero who defends those weaker than he is. All of these types, no matter how different, have tremendous strength of character. So should your hero. George is going for the reformed rake image -- you know, the guy who used to come home drunk and want to engage in physical confrontations with his old man, but who finally found religion and became the family-oriented guy we saw in step one.  It's not as cool as being a fallen angel, but still an acceptable persona.  And George's authors claimed he was defending the weak by invading Iraq  (but the Abu Ghraib photos have kind of tarnished that).  George seems to equate stubornness and bossiness with strength of character, but some women do too, so it doesn't disqualify him as a romance hero. However, "Air Force pilot and flight surgeon Grayson 'Cutter' Clark," hero of Grayson's Surrender, not only wears a flight suit, he also personally goes to war-torn Sentavo to rescue "helpless children in an orpanage."  Plus, Cutter is apparently quite the stud in bed.  Sorry, but Cutter Clark wins this round. 5.  Does he conform to the specific type of romance you're writing? Hero traits are universal, but there are nuances depending on the kind of romance you're writing—historical versus contemporary, obviously, yet within those broad categories lie further distinctions. Dissect the hero types within the books peculiar to your niche. Just what is George's niche?  The romance niches, per Amazon: Contemporary; Fantasy,  Futuristic & Ghost; Historical; Multicultural; Regency; Religious; Romantic Suspense; and Time Travel.  Of those, the religious niche seems most appropriate for George. Lets's pick a book from the religious romance niche, and read an Amazon customer review.  I have selected Janet Oke's The Measure of A Heart, which is about an insecure young woman who marries a charismatic preacher.  See if you can see any echoes of the Laura/George story in it: I thought this book was pretty sad....., April 14, 2002 I can see why the poor girl is so self-conscious and feels so inferior. Her life is one continuous struggle in which she receives practically no assistance from anyone. Her husband is actually the worst of everybody for neglecting her! I say that because he never seems to be around for her, never seems to notice her feelings, and the only way she overcomes her inferiority (at the very end of the book) is by reading - reading, mind you, because he scarcely talks to her ... I felt sorry for Anna and annoyed at Austin the whole time for not doing anything to help her out, so I don't consider this a very uplifting book. I think the only value in it is that people who are sad can read it and then feel better about their own woes because Anna has everything so much harder. So, if you can read about Laura and George and feel better about your own life, then their story is a success, sorta.  6. Does he reflect your personal style?  My personal favorite is the reluctant hero, a man who'd rather not storm the castle walls if there's a way to talk his way around the problem, but if there isn't, then he'll suit up and storm the castle walls because somebody has to. And he'll do it magnificently.   Clearly, George is the kind of man who'd rather storm the castle walls.  (Well, the kind of man who orders others to storm the walls.)  And, he doesn't really worry about any post-storming planning, leading to a big mess.  But some women (like Laura, and alternate wife Condi Rice, and office wife Andy Card) apparently find this kind of hero attractive, so I guess he reflects some people's personal style.  7. Does his behavior seem well-motivated? Specifically, he must be motivated by the admirable traits you have given him.  If you present him as loyal, he will not turn his back on a friend. If he's courageous he'll run into the burning house to rescue a child. If he's honest he'll return the gold to the bank, even though he's penniless.    George is supposed to be courageous and honest, but I haven't seen him running into any burning houses or returning any gold to the bank.  So, I have to say I don't find him particularly well-motived.  I demand a rewrite! 8. Have you put him in heroic situations?  Test this guy and bring out the attributes you've given him. It's not enough to tell us how wonderful he is—you must put him in situations that demonstrate his finer qualities.     Well, his authors did send him off to a war-torn land to serve turkey to battle-weary troops -- but it didn't seem to make anybody fall in love with him like it should have.  And they keep painting him as "The War President," which is a pretty heroic situation, but sadly, he doesn't seem to be using that situation to demonstrate any finer qualities.  9. Do you have a clear picture of what he looks like? I use an actual picture. ...  If you use a picture of a movie star, I'd recommend taping your character's name over his name. Eventually you will come to accept that Mel Gibson is really Jed Wilson, or whatever you have named your hero. Your mind makes the adjustment when he acts in a movie, so why not when you put him in your book? While George seems to believe that he's actually movie star Ronald Reagan, I don't know if any readers do.     10. Have you fallen in love? I do. Every time. I fall in love a little bit when he first walks into the book. I like his manner, his walk, his smile, the glint in his eyes, the sound of his voice. Then I get to know him, page by page. I gaze into his eyes for hours. I fall completely, madly in love with my totally yummy hero. If I've done my job as a writer, so will you. And the romance will succeed. Um, no, I haven't fallen in love with George.  But creator Karen Hughes apparently has  I don't know about co-author Karl Rove -- I get the feeling Karl would gladly delete George and create a new hero if he got the chance. So, marketing George as a romance hero to middle-aged women -- a good plan or not?  I say not.  But then, Bush-Cheney 2004 doesn't have a lot else going for them, so they might has well give it a shot. Anyway, here's more about Secret Weapon Laura Bush, the Anti-Hillary, from that Boston Globe story: This week, on a cross-country trip to five states aboard an Air Force plane, Laura Bush demonstrated the political skills and star power that the White House deliberately has downplayed for more than three years, instead casting the president's wife as the supportive spouse and helpmate, the ''Anti-Hillary" who possesses class and promotes good causes, but has no polarizing policy agenda or ambitions to be co-president. Yes, Laura is the perfect Stepford wife: supportive, unassertive, demure, pleasant, and not at all threatening to the male ego.  Plus, she comes with an "off" button, for when you just don't feel up to taking the Levitra. Bush also figures prominently in the campaign's advertising strategy and stars in its first Internet commercials. In the 2-minute, 30-second videos targeting women, Laura Bush touts the president as a friend of parents and committed to education. The ads began appearing May 12 on 50 websites, including homemaker destinations like Better Homes and Gardens, Ladies' Home Journal, and the Food Network, plus newspaper websites in 10 swing states. I can see the ads now: "Vote for George Bush, the friend of parents, gardeners, cooks, and people who want like their houses to look nice, but aren't gay,  Plus, he's committed to education, and despite what he said to Brit Hume, he really does read the newspaper every morning." ''Unlike Hillary, Laura Bush is benign; she hasn't upset anyone or cut into her husband's political capital, and many feel her behavior has been exemplary," said Myra G. Gutin, author of ''The President's Partner: The First Lady in the Twentieth Century." ''Right now, she is more popular than the president, and she's out there because he is in trouble." Yes, Laura is undoubtely more popular than the President, not only because she hasn't done much, but because her can pronounce words correctly.  But Barney the White House Dog is also more popular than the President.  I image he'll be talking to Jay Leno next week, telling stories cute stories to make Bush more likeable, like how former White House dog Spot once criticized a Bush speech and then met with an unfortunate accident..  A couple more Laura items -- First, about her appearance at a Beaverton, Oregon school (Oregon being a swing state): ``Don't take a vacation from reading or you'll come back and have to start all over,'' said the former librarian, in town to promote her husband's No Child Left Behind Act. ``You all do read very well.''  That's what she tells George every morning, when he reads "Family Circus" to her. Secondly (courtesy of the illustrous David E.),  First Lady Laura Bush Accepts Position of Honorary Chair of The National Anthem Project: The association is launching the National Anthem Project to renew national awareness of American traditions, promote the significance of “The Star Spangled Banner,” and re-teach America to sing the National Anthem through a three-year national consumer education campaign. Yes, citizens will be sent to National Anthem re-education camp, where they will be taught to sing the song right -- or ELSE! “I am pleased to serve as the Honorary Chair for this important cause dedicated to preserving and promoting awareness about our country’s National Anthem. I applaud the National Association for Music Education for their commitment to one of America’s greatest traditions,” said Mrs. Bush. The National Anthem Project is expected to kick off in September 2004 and will include major singing celebrations throughout the country–at schools, professional sporting events and other local venues. Yes, starting in September, you will see Laura Bush singing the "Star-Spangled Banner" at schools, sporting events, and car wash openings all over the country.  And remember, she's just trying to rescue her embattled husband, so give her a break. 5:00:07 AM

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The Archeological Find of the Century! Sadly, No! has dug up its very own eccentric: one Brian Cherry, a noted expert in such fields as history, Vikings, wrestling, liberal poking, and the homosexual life-style ("Like the Picts who lived outside of the Roman borders and cannibalized each other, the Gay lifestyle is plagued with self-destruction." ) We applaud Seb on his find, and look forward to the day when Brian becomes the new Rush Limbaugh.  (Not that either Brian or Rush is necessarily a repressed homosexual, of course.  Why would you think they might be?)  1:54:18 AM

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When Your Hero Lets You Down The Cornerites weigh in on Bush's Capitol Hill meeting -- Rich reports disappointment from the Republican members of congress; Kathryn Jean falls into a suicidal depression: BUSH FLOPS [Rich Lowry] I'm hearing that Bush flopped in his meeting with congressional Republicans. He gave them a pep talk, telling them how good the economy is and how determined he is to prevail in Iraq. Then he didn't take any questions and left. The members, expecting a more substantive session, were disappointed. Posted at 04:08 PM RE: BUSH FLOPPED [KJL] Someone explain the logic of him being so on at Concordia College last week (you must read that speech if you have not) and going to the Hill and just agitating more for no good reason. Kathryn, I can't explain the logic, but the why is apparent in this line from the Houston Chronicle story: The talk, delivered without notes or a prepared text . . . So, Kathryn, it's really quite simple: when Bush reads the speeches prepared for him by other people, he can seem smart (and/or "on").  When he delivers his own words, he's a disappointment.  I hope that helps. The man is a leader, it's so frustrating when that is not communicated. Kathryn, isn't an essential part of leadership the ability to communicate with those whom one is leading?  And is it possible that one of the reasons that Bush is increasingly seen as a failed leader is also the root cause of his inability to communicate effectively unless he's reading the words of somebody else:  he isn't a very good thinker?   . . . he needs to rise above, and, in many ways, be himself. He's a gutsy guy with the right instincts. His instincts may or may not be the right ones, but they do seem to be the only thing guiding him.  (We go back again to that question about his critical thinking skills.) That said, I was very down an hour or so ago about all of this--what will happen after the handover, what that will do to Bush in November, hearing Nancy Pelosi in my head...and then...I gave Victor Davis Hanson a good read. Soul food I tell you. He'll see you tomorrow morning... Posted at 09:30 PM Yes, it is depressing to think that if the handover doesn't go smoothly -- resulting in chaos, deaths, and destruction in Iraq -- then it might hurt Bush at the polls in November.  It's so sad when other countries have strife and insurrections and stuff, just to make Bush look bad. But it's nice that Victor Davis Hanson helped to help Kathryn Jean put everything into perspective with his Soul Food for the Bush Fan Girl.  Here's part of last week's inspirational message about how it's not Rumsfeld's fault that American soldiers tortured Iraqi prisoners or that the war itself is going badly in Iraq -- it's the fault of the Iraqis, who were supposed to greet us with sweets and flowers and kiss our feet for bringing them democracy, but who turned out to be unworthy of our efforts on their behalf : We scream now about the lack of planning for the occupation, forgetting entirely that Iraq is not quite like any other post-bellum situation in history. . . . .[T]he much-deferred-to "Iraqi people" were not quite enemies or friends. They were victims of Saddam's mass murder, of course, but also once upon a time in Kuwait they were happy to loot, rape, and kill themselves. Someone besides Saddam Hussein, after all, killed a million of their own. They wanted liberation from on high, but not necessarily by the U.S., the infidel supporter of Israel and a devastatingly lethal enemy that had wrought havoc on their conscript armies in 1991 and 1999 And, of course, we didn't really take out Saddam for their benefit, but for ours -- however, it hardly seems fair of them to be such jerks about our invasion of their country.  It's nobody's fault (certainly not Rumsfeld's or Bush's) that we couldn't predict that the Iraqis wouldn't be happy to be, as Ann Coulter put it, our puppet regime in the Middle East.  It is, however, treasonous of the liberals to criticize Bush and Rumsfeld's handling of the war -- but someday they will get their comeuppance.  Yes, someday, when Kerry is President, we'll be nuked by Syria, denied oil by Iran, or invaded by the Commie/Islamonazis, just like in Red Dawn.  That's when the libs will  realize that they are wimps who don't know how to cope with bad guys, and they will seek out Rumsfeld and beg him for help.  And he'll probably just snub them.  And it will be SO SWEET! So, I can see why Kathryn finds comfort in Hanson's words.  But hey, not everybody thought that Bush's pep talk was a flop.  Here's more from the Houston Chronicle:  Lawmakers said they had expected to have a chance Thursday to pose questions to the president, but his lengthy speech left no time for congressional inquiries. The talk, delivered without notes or a prepared text, did not address calls for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to step aside, the abuse of Iraqi detainees, or other causes of tension between Congress and the administration. That was a good strategy, some lawmakers said, because it reinvigorated them as they head home for the Memorial Day congressional recess. "Sometimes you smooth over and calm down (tensions) by talking about the bigger issues," Sen. Trent Lott of Mississippi said. Yup, the best way to deal with problems is to ignore them and talk about bigger issues, like freedom, 9/11, God, freedom, tax cuts, teaching kids to read and write, home ownership, and freedom.  So see, Bush really IS a leader. UPDATE: Norbizness has a photo of Bush and his little Republican cowpokes.  Apparently the session really was reinvigorating, just like some lawmakers said.  1:25:07 AM