The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Pussy Ambush

I have never gone pet-shopping. Never left home intent upon returning with some sub-sentient companionship (which also explains why I never hung out in singles bars in Texas). And on the extremely rare occasions when I did return with a fur-bearing refugee, it was always the result of a sneak attack. And so it was with my most recent assailant.

Mary and I had gone to see my grandfather, intending to run a few errands afterwards. But the visit was rather protracted and depressing, and aftewards I just wanted to go home and stick my head under a sofa cushion (it doesn’t do much for existential despair, but I often find enough loose change to buy liquor). She agreed to indulge me, on the condition that we stop by Pet Smart on the way and pick up some catfood and a filter for Riley’s drinking fountain cum water feature.

They were having a pet adoption fair when we arrived. Most of the crowd was clustered around the dogs, who lounged under canopies in the parking lot, while inside was a stack of cages containing a motley assortment of superannuated felines. A sleek, gorgeous, and utterly resentful-looking Blue Persian was laying in the near topmost cage. She had been the pampered darling of a young married couple, who dumped her when the wife got pregnant, for fear the cat would sneak into the nursery and suck the newborn’s breath. There were a couple kittens attracting a squealing cluster of little girls, and a friendly, balding, and obese cat the approximate size and weight of a medicine ball who was attracting mostly horrified stares (and who, according to a note taped across her cage, was on the kitty equivalent of Jenny Craig).

The cat in the far bottom cage was striking in appearance and demeanor, but seemingly invisible to the crowd. A thin marmalade, about two years old, he was curled up in the back of his cell, watching the passing feet through slitted eyes and occasionally huffing a fatalistic little sigh. Mary paused on her way to the pet food aisle and squatted down to say hello. He gazed at her appraisingly for a long moment, then uncoiled abruptly and padded to the front of the cage. She opened the door and tentatively scratched his head. They eyes locked, and suddenly, from out of nowhere, I heard “Unchained Melody.”

The woman who brought him in came over and talked to us while I admired his unusual coat – flanks dappled like a cheetah’s, tail ringed like a lemur’s. For some reason, she’d named him “Cotton,” perhaps in honor of the zinc oxide-like smear of white on his nose. She was a veterinary technician who volunteered at the local shelter and had impulsively claimed him when he was 24 hours away from termination. Unfortunately, she was already over the pet quota allowed by her lease, and couldn’t afford to keep him.

The bottom line? We’re suckers, and I’m just grateful this woman was a running a cat placement operation and not a three card monte game. We were both ambivalent about taking on another cat while we were still grieving over the loss of Hobbes, but he seemed very attached to Mary (literally — there were holes in her t-shirt when we finally pulled him off), and we hoped some same-species companionship would lift Riley out of the funk she’s been in since Hobbes’ death. Alas, the new kitty’s introduction instantly turned Riley from a inconsolable Indian widow inches from commiting suttee to Glenn Close in the last third of Fatal Attraction. But there have been some recent signs that we may indeed see Peace in Our Time. But more on that later.

So here’s the new addition. Due to his white nose and preternaturally laid-back attitude (I would suspect him of smoking my stash if I had one), we figured we could name him after an Amsterdam hashish cafe or a surfer. So allow me to present: Moondoggie.
Dude…The flash…harshing my buzz…

40 Responses to “Pussy Ambush”

He’s gorgeous! How wonderful that he found you.
For some reason, she’d [named] him “Cotton,” perhaps in honor of the zinc oxide-like smear of white on his nose.
sure it wasn’t after Cotton Mather?
Oh, he’s beautiful. And lucky, very lucky.
I hope the kitties will get along, but my two have hated each other for over a decade now, and there’s never been any blood shed over it, unless you count mine, which I’m certain neither of them does. It gets loud from time to time, water and pillows and plush toys are thrown, hands are clapped loudly as they snarl, but no one’s ever actually lashed out at anyone else, so it’s survivable.
How often do you change the filter for the water fountain drinking dish, anyway? We just got one and I’m thinking once a month with tapwater, but I dunno. I completely clean the thing out every two or three days, anyway, so the filter may last longer. I should just go find a forum with bored, cat-loving housewives for this sort of idiot question, shouldn’t I.
I imagine he would look extremely elegant when sitting up though laid-out has my fingers itching to gently scratch his jawline…..I wonder how loud his purr is? Congrats to your family of four? (I dunno, maybe there’s fish, dogs and gerbils)
All cats are special, but orange ones are more special. What great people you are, caring for all those animals.
Congrats on the new addition! Except for the white nose & mittens, he resembles Mr. Ginger Baker (teenaged marmalade feral here at L’Hotel du Fucktards)… Except that Ginger is a very eccentric, part-time hyperactive, nosy kitten who is also quite bossy when it nears mealtime.
Moondoggie — y’know, sooner or later he’s going to figure that one out and bite your toes for the canine-ish appellation, but it seems pretty groovy nonetheless.
Because of my living circumstances, I avoid the adoption days at PetSmart like the plague, but I drop a dollar in whenever I can. Just the cats that they keep there in the store are enough to break my heart, if I make the mistake of venturing to that side of the store… In those small cages, so lonesome, so bored, I just want to scoop them all up and run like hell for the exits, but it’s not like I could keep them in my truck year-round or anything.
Cats are just too highly-evolved a creature to be reduced to incarceration, dammit. People who abandon animals should be forcibly neutered, prohibited from buying any luxury item ever again in their life, and forced to clean the cages at the local SPCA/pound every fucking weekend until they die.
I’m so glad that Moondoggie found y’all… he is one very fortunate kitty.
How is it that you two managed to adopt a new kitty? I thought that was s.z.’s scene. Expect to find her knocking on your door any day now, demanding you hand over the katz. Unless, of course, the critters have finally up-and-et her.
Then, it’ll be the critters at the door…
[join us!]
Very sweet. Y’know, I’ve always used the two-room method of animal introduction, though it did sorta backfire this time as Larry has decided the guest room is his and has demanded ever since to be locked in there at night with a full bowl of food and some wildlife DVDs.
I definitely think it’s best for a cat used to feline companionship to get that replaced sooner rather than later. My wife kept putting me off after Hoover died, and Stinky’s health deteriorated four months later and it took almost a year to get him strong again. Cats’ social organization is so subtle you can miss it, but it’s there and if they’re used to one I think they need it to continue. Anyway, congratulations to all involved. And give ‘em separate litter boxes if you can…
He looks a little like You Pathetic Little Bastard, aka Pat. Aka Ratty Patty or vice versa.
pat was the result of a pregnant abandonded cat who decided to come in through my cat door and take up residence.
now i have pat, timmy and sanders. the mom disappeared. I think. people in my neighborhood move away and leave their cats behind all of the time. I have cats I don’t even know about with the cat door and all.
Plus, possums.
they love the dry cat food.
Ya know, cats just happen. Even when you think you’ll wait a while before getting a new one. Moondoggie is a beaut, and very smart to have picked you out.
I like the sound of merlallen’s house. Yours and Mary’s, too, Scott! Congratulations to you all. I deliberately set out to acquire my three current companions – two cats from my local animal shelter and a black lab who was free-to-a-good-home in the paper. I sure hope everyone here is familiar with Stuffonmycat.com and Stuffonmymutt.com – Both are right next to World o’ Crap on my Favorites list!
Hey all! Yes, it was love at first sight for moondoggie and me. Riley is slowwwwly getting used to him, and doesn’t spit and growl and run away all the time now, and she actually hangs out near him.
However, I have a feeling that now she’s constantly hissing to him how he’ll “never replace Hobbes”. The whole thing has inspired me to write an outline for a musical–it’ll be a cross between “Rebecca” and “Cats!”. I’m pretty sure I can sell it for millions to Andrew Lloyd Weber.
I’ve always used the two-room method of animal introduction, though it did sorta backfire this time as Larry has decided the guest room is his and has demanded ever since to be locked in there at night with a full bowl of food and some wildlife DVDs.
We actually have only 2 rooms in our apartment, and we tried this, but I could so see Riley getting too used to like Larry did.
I’m just thankful that Moondoggie wakes and bakes every day, or else the fur would be really flying around here.
Stuffonmycat.com……..great fun! My favorite to share is Knitemare.org for cat with/without captions. 482 photos of furry ones.
We clean the cat’s fountain every six-eight weeks. It tends to start to grow algae around then, and get gunked up with cat hair. We actually soak the pieces in bleach and then put it through the dishwasher. The little buggers whine for their fountain for a couple days, but they manage with just a lowly bowl to drink from.
Moondoggie is lovely. Good choice of people, Moondoggie
I keep a bowl in my bathtub for the kittys to drink from. Once, when I left for 2 days, I left the faucet dripping, and they loved it! I refill the bowl a couple of times a day, tho. Can’t have it dripping all the time. Think I’ll check into the fountain.
Moondoggie could also be considered to have been named for the late great Viking of 7th Ave, the blind composer Louis Hardin aka Moondog.
I should get a fountain too. Kitty Cheese likes to drink from the sink. I can’t go pee without her coming in and jumping on the sink, gazing at me expectantly until I turn the water on for her.
She looks a lot like Moondoggie except she is rarely mellow. She’s more like a Pam Atlas kitty. She bit my son’s girlfriend yesterday. I’m putting up a beware of cat sign. I wish she’d mellow out. She’s not really mean but she doesn’t like being messed with. I’m the only one who can handle her. She loves me, although she’s been known to bite the hand that feeds her, if the hand that feeds her tries to pick her up when she’s not in the mood.
She’s very motherly sometimes, hanging onto me and cleaning my hand until the skin feels like it will peel off. I think if I were to introduce another feline, it would have to be a kitten. I think she would mother it. I’d have to have a contingency plan, though, in case she decided it was prey.
Kitty fountains are an absolute winner. I saw a documentary once that suggested that because cats don’t see fine detail that well, they can’t tell where the surface of the water is in a bowl, and they end up dunking their whiskers a lot, which pisses them off. Hence, said documentary explained, their pleasure in running or very fresh water, which smells more and is easier to figure out where it is.
I don’t know if this is the case, but I do know both of our cats delight in drinking out of the tabletop fountains, out of any carelessly ignored glasses, and out of freshly spilled water puddles on the floor, as well as hopping into the bathtub to lick up the water that pools around the drain. And the younger one will fall into toilets trying to drink out of them if the lid is left up, so we don’t.
I figured the younger one would like the fountain best, and the older one, who is not good with change, would turn up her nose at it and continue to demand I fill her bowl two or three times a day like usual, which I’ve always assumed was more about the dominance aspects than the freshness of the water.
It’s gone the other way, the older one is madly in love with the fountain and drinks right from the outlet stream, and the younger one is ignoring it in favor of still drinking from the fake-rock-waterfall thing on the bedside table.
The little bastards are nothing if not contrary. But, to be fair, not all the time. When I really need it, they come and curl up against me and purr… at least until they notice each other and have to start snarling again.
A good home for Moondoggie. One more life saved.
Has Moondoggie started meowing Blues for Allah or, perhaps, Catfish John? If he gets rambunctious maybe he’ll break into a fine yowling rendition of Cocaine.
Congrats on your new furry valium!
Moondoggie is gorgeous, and looks like he’s having a very strenuous gzawing session there. As in, gzzzzz…. honkshu …. Lucky Moondoggie, lucky y’all, and Riley will get over herself someday. Ginger boycats are the best (ginger girls being very very rare, and somewhat sexually, uh, ambiguous).
He’s beautiful! Congrats on the new house kitten.
good for you Scott – what I sweetie.
Congratulations on the new addition!
Thepoliticalcat said, “ginger girls being very very rare, and somewhat sexually, uh, ambiguous.”
I’d not heard that before. I was just saying to my ginger girl, Kitty Cheese, that she has very big feet for a female cat, and a very wide face. She also has that somewhat bowlegged look in front that I think of as a tomcat thing. She’s quite big in general. On the other hand, she is very motherly, and very keen on self grooming, which female cats tend to be.
Interesting.
I’ve always heard that calico cats are almost never male.
KC had a litter sister who was also ginger. We picked KC over her because she was so wild! The people who were giving the kittens away said she was always bouncing off the walls. If KC is mellow by comparison, I cannot conceive of what a wildcat sis must be.
It’s excrutiating to go this long without hearing from our dear s.z. I want so badly for her and her wonderful animal household to be okay, and for her to come back to us with her utterly inimitable snark.
ps. kitty fountains get a thumbs up from our two!
http://www.charlotte.com/290/story/41564.html
Brilliant, Trashfire.
Probably too nice to St. mAnn of the Codpiece, but brilliant, nonetheless.
so is anyone else getting worried about these “adopted pets” that seem to have caused our lovely hosts to disappear? it’s been a more than a week since Scott posted and close to seven since we’ve heard from the lovely s.z.
Er, yeah. I mean, mine are always trying to trip me as I go down the stairs, under the assumption that they’ll be dining on fresh meat for a good long while. Though I try to strenuously disabuse them of that notion, they haven’t given up. I wonder if Scott and S.Z.’s wee ones are thinking along the same lines?
The sexual ambiguity of ginger females – cats carry the gene for red hair on the X chromosome. Males have only one X, so if they have the gene for red at all, they will be all red. Females can carry the genes for red and black coloring, because they have two X chromosomes. I’m sure that’s more than you wanted to know, but females are very rarely pure ginger, or even dilute ginger. Essentially, a ginger female is carrying the genes for red coloring on both of her chromosomes. Anecdotally, ginger females tend toward the masculine. I don’t know of any studies, though.
Last time I heard from Scott in e-mail was the 19th.
Last time from S.Z. was on the 18th.
So either the cats & dogs & gnus and emus have finally mounted a mutiny, or the NSA has descended upon World O’Crap and “disappeared” our dear ones to Gitmo or one of those “secret” Halliburton prisons.
To all of you tech folk out there — do we need to do an international online search for them, can somebody go looking for them in person, or should we hire a private eye? I’m sure that they know that we’re worried about them, so knowing S.Z.’s history of computer clusterfucks and Scott’s very hectic writing schedule, I’m sure that any failure to keep us alerted is purely inadvertent.
At least I hope to hell that that’s what it is.
Anybody who finds out any info, we’d all appreciate knowing about it.
That’s very interesting, political cat. Thanks!
I wish Scott and SZ would return as well. I hope all is well, and they’re just wallowing in the joys of spring.
What Annti said. I worry.
D. Sidhe re: cat fountains and water. That’s interesting – it may explain why some of my cats like to dabble in the water with their paws, and why they seem to like water that’s been soaking old flowerpots. There’s more smell and flavor in it than clean water from the tap, and they can tell exactly where the water starts. My current cat likes to scoop up water in her paw and lick it off. And then jump on the bed with wet feet.
Based on a very limited knowledge of genetics, I’m not sure why ginger females would be rare or have masculine characteristics. All it takes is a red allele on each X. The very rare male calico, on the other hand, would have to have be XXY.
Add me to list hoping Scott and S.Z. are ok, and will return to blogging soon.
Cute, cute, cute. But the home page says “Daily Diatribe” and it hasn’t been updated in more than 2 weeks. Get on it.
So, post already. It really isn’t that hard. If you’re done helping us out, at least tell us. I, too hope everything is OK, but this lack of communication is unsettling & wrong.
Well, I know for damned sure that Scott’s alive. Heard from him today. S.Z., though, still no word. I may have to send the Mormons to her fucking doorstep to make sure that the kinder and fauna have not cleaned her down to the marrow.
Not that I don’t empathize with her busyness, I’m tit-deep in several cat projects myself at the moment and fighting off a lovely new batch of cat-scratch rash (and no, Bill S., Preznit, et al, that is NOT a euphemism for V.D., thank yew velly much), so I can understand how she might be feeling extra-exhausted these days and unable to get word to us.
But seriously — if I don’t hear from her soon, Mormons will indeed be dispatched post-haste, and I ain’t kiddin’.
Gotta tell you, a pussy ambush sounds pretty good right about now.
Oh, you mean cats?
…never mind!

No comments:

Post a Comment