The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Sunday, June 29, 2014

Dr. Mike, Professional Ass...ociate Professor

Let’s skip the preliminaries, and jump right into Dr. Mike’s latest, “Fat Lesbians on Crack.”
So this lesbian goes walking into a counselor’s office to get help with her same-sexed relationship. Actually, it sounds like the start of a really bad joke but it isn’t. The counselor’s name is Marcia Walden. In addition to being a counselor she is a devout Christian who believes it is immoral to engage in same-sex relationships. So she faced a tough decision when Jane, her prospective client, sought help resolving problems in her lesbian relationship.
Rather than misleading her, Marcia decided to tell Jane about her religious conflict, indicating that it would be unfair for her (Jane) if she were to serve as her counselor. But she remained helpful and offered to refer Jane to another counselor named Ken Cook.
Here’s a shorter version of what happened next (per Dr. Mike): later, Jane complained to Marcia’s supervisor about Marcia’s refusal to help her.  Marica’s supervisors advised Marcia that the next time this happened she should just tell the client that she (Marcia) wasn’t qualified to counsel her rather than saying that she thought that same-sex relationships were immoral.  Marcia refused, because as a Christian she couldn’t lie.  She also couldn’t, in good conscience, counsel homosexuals.  (Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!)   Eventually, Marcia was fired.  So, now Marcia is being represented by the Alliance Defense Fund, which is suing her former employer.
Now, back to Dr. Mike for the outrage.
What this case – taken by the Alliance Defense Fund – all boils down to is the unreasonable accommodation of gay activists who simply cannot tolerate the existence of anyone, anywhere who does not accept the gay lifestyle. And to the extent that we accommodate them, we are helping to create a very “uncivil” rights movement. And it is a trend with dangerous implications.
Imagine for a moment that we were to forbid a counselor from expressing her objection to overeating, despite proven health risks, simply because the obese individual likes to eat and claims some genetic predisposition to obesity.
Or imagine for a moment that we were to forbid a counselor from expressing her objection to over-drinking, despite proven health risks, simply because the drunken individual likes to drink and claims some genetic predisposition to alcoholism. (Or, worse, imagine she likes crack!).
But you don’t have to imagine forbidding a counselor from expressing her objection to homosexuality, despite proven health risks, simply because the gay individual likes homosexuality and claims some genetic predisposition to gayness.
That’s where we have arrived because, in America, there is no idea that is too dumb to be taken seriously.
Nice try, Dr. Mike, but Jane didn’t go to her college counseling office for a physical and some Christian advice about the health risks of same-sex relationships, she went for relationship counseling.  And Marcia refused to help her because Marcia believes that Jane is a sinner — and Marcia told Jane as much.
So, Dr. Mike, imagine for a minute that you go to your doctor for a physical, and your doctor refuses to treat you because, based on his Christian faith, he thinks that all conservatives are going to hell.  You’d be fine with that, wouldn’t you?  You’d say that he should have the right to follow the dictates of his conscience, and his employer should make reasonable accommodations for his religious beliefs, right?
(Note to readers: this is what we call a facetious question, because Dr. Mike is the guy who writes 5-part columns overflowing with apoplectic rage when somebody fails to include the honorific in front of his name or when a cafeteria worker forgets to give him the tater tots that were supposed to come with his Beanie Wienie lunch special.  And if there are ever any reactions to his obnoxious behavior, he claims he’s being persecuted because of his conservative beliefs .  So, there’s no way he would handle the above scenario with anything approaching sanity, let alone graciousness. )
Here’s another one for you, Dr. Mike: imagine for a moment that you go out to get your latest copy of Guns & Manhood, and it isn’t in your mailbox.  You call the post office and complain, and then learn that your letter carrier refuses to deliver your mail because he objects to your pro-gun, anti-life behavior.  However, your carrier says he asked his colleague to deliver your mail (when he gets a chance), so you should be getting your gun mags eventually.  Therefore, you have nothing to complain about, and your letter carrier and his mailbag (and soul) will remain clear of the stain that serving you would entail.  That would be okay with you, wouldn’t it?
One last hypothetical. Imagine that you are walking down the street,looking for a $20 hooker minding your own business, when you are assaulted by a big, burly man who says he finds you morally repugnant (yes, hard to believe I know, but in America there is no idea that is too dumb to be taken seriously).  You left your Glock in your other suit, so you call for help.  Fortunately for you, a police officer hears your cries and arrives within a couple of minutes.  Unfortunately for you, he refuses to help you because, as a committed Christian who has read your columns, he believes that you are a horrible person and that you are receiving God’s just punishment for your many, many bad acts.  He does, however, try to aid you within the framework of his belief system by reading you some Bible verses about “the wages of sin.” 
Meanwhile, the big guy is still pounding you into the pavement.  You are understandably upset, and tell the policeman that as a public servant who is paid by taxpayers like you, he has no right to refuse to help people based solely on his personal religious beliefs.  He says that the police force used to think that, but after getting sued by the Alliance Defense Force, they changed their policy, and now Dr. Mike will just have to wait for a police officer whose moral code permits him to help douche bags.  It’s a long wait.
Okay, enough with the imagining.  Bottom line: one does have to have have trust and respect for one’s counseler for the process to be effective, and so Marcia probably wasn’t the right therapist for Jane.  But Marcia can’t refuse to treat a segment of the students she is there to serve just because she thinks they are immoral — and she should dang well expect to be fired if she tells students that she can’t counsel people like them because she is a good Christian and they are abominations to God (which may or may not be what Marcia said to Jane – it’s some times hard to get the truth from Dr. Mike’s stories).
But hey, let’s let get back to Dr. Mike for the stirring conclusion to this piece.
I’m not claiming that the gay rights movement has taken over the country. But, clearly, when it comes to gays, the patients are the ones who are running the therapists. And, before long, the inmates really will be running the asylum.
But then apes will evolve from men, and nobody will really care anymore.
Posted by s.z. on August 20th, 2008

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