The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Sarah In Charge

I was going to comment on a Dr. Mike article (Real Men Don’t Do Pornography).  It’s the one about how Dr. Mike’s divorced friend (who would be Dr. Mike2) was complaining that all the single women in the Wilmington area have too much baggage to be dateable, so Dr. Mike1 has to correct him by pointing out that all the women don’t have “baggage,” they’re just messed up because men (unreal men) have had sex with them, thus “contaminating the future-wife pool.”  And then I just got tired, and started to feel really sorry for Dr. Mike.
So, instead of the Dr. Mike piece (which I may get back to later), here is my entry in the “Sarah Palin Theme Song Contest.”
(to the tune of "Charles in Charge")
Old Prez McCain died, and by some strange fluke
A soccer mom now has the code to the nukes.
She’s just there to take care of me
Because she’s supposedly pro-family.
Palin in charge
Of our days (drill for oil) and our nights (screw the polar bears).
Palin in charge
Of our wrongs (abortion) and our rights (to bear arms).
And I sing, I want,
I want Palin in charge of me.
Palin in charge
Of our days (creationism in school) and our nights (no gay marriage).
Palin in charge
Of our wrongs (stem cell research) and our rights (tax breaks for the rich).
And I sing, I want,
I want Palin in charge of me
Because she’s pro-life and approved by Focus on the Family.
And because she’s cute as the bee’s knees
And won Miss Congeniality,
Plus, she likes to hunt and is really gutsy
And eats mooseburgers and isn’t a feminist banshee.
She doesn’t believe global warming is caused by human activity,
and she has a son named Track and a daughter named Indy.
Yes, and although she doesn’t have much experience and doesn’t come with a guarantee
I think she probably knows how to ski.
So, I want, I want
Sarah Palin in charge of the Land of the Free.
Posted by s.z. on September 1st, 2008

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