The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

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Sunday, June 29, 2014

‘Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

Over at RenewAmerica, Reed R. Heustis warns us that when the American Heritage Party comes to power, in thunder and in earthquake like a Jove, then we’ll all be sorry that we made fun of his Pharaoh.
Liberty works!
However, the moment Christians organize themselves politically in the civil arena, somehow that same liberty ceases to exist.
When Christians create political organizations, such as a Christian political party like the American Heritage Party, look out, duck for cover! They will be demonized as extremists, bigots, and intolerant tyrants, just to name a few of the nicer epithets.
Well, that does seem unfair.  As Reed, both an attorney and a practicing Baptist, could no doubt testify, not every Christian who enters politics does so with the intention of imposing some sort of Taliban-like theocracy.
The top priority for any civil magistrate is to acknowledge the Kingship of Jesus Christ in the political arena and to serve Him.
Hm.  Apparently the only thing required to pass the California Bar Exam is the demonstrated ability to color inside the lines.  But what happens if a judge has a full docket, and doesn’t budget the time each day to acknowledge the Kingship of Jesus Christ in the political arena?
Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and you perish in the way, for his wrath is quickly kindled.
He took you to the movies, he paid for dinner…KISS HIM!
To kiss the Son means to pay homage to the Lord Jesus Christ, who rules in all affairs of men, including civic affairs.
In fact, he ruled in our favor when we took the Condo Board to Small Claims Court over their failure to obtain three competitive bids for resealing the driveway.
Not surprisingly, non-Christian civil magistrates refuse to pay homage to the Son, while Secular Humanists vociferously defend this “right” to refuse to do so.
Look Wapner, if I’ve gotta kiss the guy, you’ve gotta kiss him.  There’s no homage-paying exception for uppity old dudes in black satin muumuus.
To make matters worse, Secular Humanists take the further step of forbidding Christian civil magistrates to pay the same homage! In the minds of Secular Humanists, any civil magistrate who publicly acknowledges the Kingship of Jesus Christ necessarily mixes religion with politics, and this is somehow verboten.
Think of the Constitution, not as a blueprint for self-government, but as a recipe.  Understood in this way, you realize that “the separation of Church and State” is merely what happens when you forget to stir.
The reason why a Christian civil magistrate mixes religion with politics is precisely because it is impossible to separate religion from politics.
“That is why, it is with the deepest humility, and an even deeper faith in the greatness of the American people, that I accept my party’s nomination for the office of Pontiff!”
It is not a question as to whether religion should be mixed with politics, but rather which religion?
I can’t believe that in this day and age we’re even asking this question!  If only the Founders hadn’t been so squeamish about Europe’s long history of religious wars and state-sanctioned persecution, we would’ve settled this by now.
Whose God reigns?
I smell a Pay Per View cage match…!
No political position can be based upon non-religion.
Claims that alternate side of the street parking regulations are revenue neutral were instrumental in defeating the Arians at the Council of Nicaea.
An atheist, much to his chagrin, is no less religious because he makes himself to be his own god.
“Hey honey?  Have you seen my mystical Uru hammer?  I’ve got to smite some heretics.  And did Greg, Lord of the Hoary Underworld ever return my Garden Weasel?”
“Every nation has to make one of two choices: kiss the Son or serve the serpent. The whole of history is an account of which nations kissed the Son and which nations served the snake — and what happened as a result.” (emphasis added)
Thanks for adding the emphasis; for a second there I couldn’t make up my mind which part was the craziest.
If Christians are “allowed” to have their own Christian hospitals, Christian schools, and Christian missions, then why not their own Christian civic organizations?
Why not their own Christian police?  I hear the Saudis have something similar, and it’s working out very nicely for everyone.  Or what about Christian Fire Departments, Christian Department of Motor Vehicles, or a Christian Bureau of Labor Statistics?  The motto, etched in stone above the entrance, practically writes itself:  “The laborer is worthy of his wages (Timothy 5:18) Unless you can get it cheaper by hiring illegals, in which case, Suffer the Day Laborers from the Home Depot parking lot to come unto me.”
Posted by scott on August 20th, 2008

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