The World O' Crap Archive

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Tuesday, July 1, 2014

They’ve Brought Back Absinthe Just In Time For The Debates

For the last couple presidential debates I’ve requested a general anaesthetic, but since Bush isn’t involved this time, I’m going to try to get through this thing with just a local.  And with that in mind, we’re mixing cocktails and deciding which of the many blogger-suggested drinking games to play.  Since this is the first of several debates, I’m thinking of starting out easy this time and just taking a swig every time a melanoma breaks out on John McCain’s face.  But you probably have better ideas (and maybe some appropriate cocktail recipes), so consider the comments an open forum on Athenian democracy and alcohol toxemia.

Posted by scott on Friday, September 26th, 2008 at 8:19 pm.

15 Responses to “They’ve Brought Back Absinthe Just In Time For The Debates”

Let us all now praise Jim Lehrer.
Have you ever seen a Presidential debate like that? Engaged, point and counter-point, direct confrontation and direct contradiction.
Lehrer did it, guided it; the masterpiece cap to his TV journalism career.
My dentist offered me Vicodin for the tooth that’s scheduled for the root canal next Friday. It didn’t really stop the pain at all, but I did hallucinate rats and develop a migraine, which sure took the edge off the debate.
Aw, D. I hear you, sweetie.
As soon as the debate started, I turned to ScottC and said “Who allowed McCain to wear THAT TIE!?”
McCain’s tie made you hallucinate and gave you a migraine. The only reason I didn’t hallucinate and have a migraine, was because I began to drink heavily BEFORE the debate.
So, remember kids, drink heavily and drug yourself BEFORE a presidential debate! Now you know. And knowing is half the battle.
They both seemed like very nice men.
I spent the evening trying to separate a bunch of tangled necklaces. I got three undone; looks like four to go.
Um. Can we skip the Biden/Palin debate and just make them untangle necklaces on TV? For some reason, that seems like it’d be even more fun. Especially if we play the Jeopardy “clock’s ticking” music through the whole ninety minutes.
I did hallucinate rats…
What makes ya think you were hallucinating?
And Jim Lehrer? Please–the man sandbagged Al Gore in 2000, with the imaginary “Bush is a bumbler” ad, which Gore rightly denied, and which denial then launched a thousand more “well, straight from the Pathological Liar” bits. Then Lehrer “corrected” himself the following week by noting it was not an ad but something Mark Fabiani had said somewhere. As though Gore was still culpable for not having divined what Lehrer would have said had he had one-quarter the respect for accuracy he demanded of the candidate.
Lehrer competently led a debate whose form was determined by the two campaigns, not himself? I don’t give a fuck if he discovered a cure for cancer, spent his entire fortune eradicating malaria in the Third World, and helped a photogenic minority child understand fractions. He and his ilk are directly responsible for what we’ve endured the last eight years. Maybe God’ll forgive ‘em; nobody else should.
I take Doghouse’s point (I pretty much always do) but I’m still glad Leher did a better job of it last night, FWIW. I just can’t watch those things. Bush and McCain both have voices that are like fingernails on chalkboard to me – the minute they open their mouths, I’m climbing the walls. Come to think of it, I had the same problem with Bush Sr. and Reagan. Must have something to do with that Republican twang. Anyway, without alcohol and/or other psychotropic alterations, listening to McCain for more than 5 minutes is intolerable, and with them I’m afraid I’d wake up the next morning with my television in pieces.
I’d say oil ‘em up, and throw ‘em in a pit for the next debate, but McCain would sneak in a shiv, drop it and accuse the black man of bringing a razor.
‘Cause I always hallucinate rats on Vicodin. Plus, you know, the zombies didn’t react to them at all, so I’m guessing they weren’t real.
Wait, what was the question again?
A drinking game would have worked well here. If you threw down a shot after every “he doesn’t understand” you could at least make yourself comfy under the table.
I lit up my hooka and smoked a nice bowl of mint flavored tobacco but as the night wore on I was kind of wishing I had something else in that bowl.
That being said, marijuana always made me paranoid and watching McCain with a good buzz on might have been the end of me. As it was, the “you don’t understand” or “Sen. Obama is naive” shit was like listening to a lecture from some old man down the street who is perturbed because once again, I dared to step my unclean self onto his lawn or had my music too damn loud, or parked my ugly truck in front of his house (even though its a fucking public street asshole) or my kids stuck their tongue out at him, thus ruining his entire life into perpetuity.
What sucks is that I just don’t have that many liberal friends, I mean when I think about it, I don’t have a lot of friends at all as I don’t have much a of social life. And the people I work for are diehard capitalists, so what can I do?
So I guess I’ll drink alone, have a drinking game on October 2, every time Palin flubs I’ll take a shot of something, maybe some good brandy.
Then knowing my past history with hard liquor, I’ll end up raising hell in the streets and threaten my employment I guess.
just make them untangle necklaces on TV
The idea of a TV game-show called “Reality Necklaces” is all too plausible. I’d copyright it, if I were D.Sidhe. If you can’t stop the world’s march towards idiocracy, you might as well make some money from it.
I want to see a moderator with a gong, hammer, and/or whip to pull the reins in on any fucker who babbles over his allotted time and just has to squeak in his talking points ad nauseum.

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