The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Oooh, Scary!

Thank you, RNC, for your efforts to encourage civility in these hate-filled times.
Dear Republican,
What do Halloween and politics have in common?
Scary Democrats!
Every year the Republican National Committee has a hard time determining who is the scariest Democrat of the bunch. Just like the fall harvest, there’s an abundance from which to choose. That’s where you come in. We need your help in determining who the RNC should announce as the “Scariest Democrat” in 2007.
Please click here to play. We’ll announce your choice before Halloween Day.
If your mother won’t let you play with the RNC, but you do want to show your support for their efforts to demonize others, maybe you could come up with some nominees for “Scariest Wingnut of 2007.”  It might be fun.  There could be prizes! 
Hey, anything is possible.

22 Responses to “Oooh, Scary!”

I think it’s hard to beat Michelle Malkin for scariness. I wanna say Doug Giles, but he’s actually more hilarious than frightening.
(I wish that were true.)
GeoX: It takes a real kind of “talent” to insult a 12-year-old and not feel bad afterwards. I’d say Rush, but he’s too much of a backpaddler/coward.
I noticed that they left off Dennis Kucinich. That sort of suggests to me that maybe he is the one that they might really be afraid of (not that he would win the nomination, alas, but because he has a spine).
Scariest Wingnut: This is tough. Maybe O’Reilly. At some point, his head is going to literally explode from anger and that could be pretty scary in a weird Night of the Living Dead sort of way. But also sort of cool. Or maybe scary in a Count Floyd kind of way. Actually none of them are scary (unless you are a dem member of congress) but they are all sort of weird.
I think the Scariest Wingnut would have to be either Stalkin’ Malkin or the infamous and undead Ann Coulter. That Ace of Spades guy is all kinds of creepy, too. Also, I would not want to meet Mark Steyn in a dark alley, but mostly because I’d think he’d want money for crack.
Does Giuliani count? Seriously, dude looks like Nosferatu with a combover.
Its Dick Cheney. Its always Dick Cheney. Until 2009 it will always be Dick Cheney. Tell me what I won.
Well, Sporkey beat me here, but yes, I would nominate my nemesis, St. Ann Of The Codpiece, mAnn Coulter.
But shim’s been relatively lame this year, only one or two major MSM outbursts of hatred/ignorance/evil, so I’d say that shim probably isn’t THE scariest, though shim’s Adam’s apple will always be in the hall of fame.
Personally, I’ll put Karl fucking no-neck fatfuck Rove as the all-time, all-out, indefatigable reich-wing DEMON-PIGLET of most of human history. Rush could only DREAM of being THAT truly evil. He makes Himmeler look bashful.
And kudos to Gabriel for “Nosferatu with a combover.”
I nominate Karl Rove as well. Most wingnuts are pretty scary when one considers the damage their rhetoric does to real humans and how little they care. Also, their potential to stir up enough hate to brew a fascist take-over is always something on my mind.
But only Karl seems to embody the purely evil mind of a monster willing to erode every passage in the rule book of humanity for nothing more than the thrill of it.
He is truly dangerous and evil. The rest are far too simplistic and without focus to accomplish much of anything on their own.
Why the hell should we be afraid of the bed-wetting wingnut cowards? Let them be the ones talking about fear all the goddam time, since they have nothing else to offer.
Annti, my love, you are right that “Nosferatu With A Combover” deserves high praise, but Karl Rove as a “Demon Piglet” is right on up there too! I don’t know about “scary” but I think Bertie Gonzalez is a shoo-in for the part played by Peter Lorre in Arsenic and Old Lace.
I’m sorry, fellow Crappers, that I haven’t been posting much lately – I come by and linger in the shadows every day. It seems that WOC’s spam filters have a peculiar fondness for my posts. Anyway, I started a blog and I’d like to invite everyone to drop in, especially YOU Mrs. Biscuitbarrel with that famous cranberry walnut frappe that you do! I don’t have all the furniture in place or the pictures hung, but there’s wine and beer in the fridge and the conversation is flowing…
Keeping Wichita safe from fundies since 2002
“Nosferatu with a combover”
God, you guys ALWAYS keep me coming back.
“Nosferatu with a combover.” Brilliant! But there was no spew alert issued…does anyone know how to get linguini out of your sinuses?
Dick Cheney is definitely scary, as are Coulter, Malkin, and Rove. Mrs. Dick Cheney is pretty scary, too, especially when she puts pen to paper.
But does the nominee have to be a pundit or a politician? Because for my money, no one is scarier than the head of Blackwater. He’s a frickin’ freak of scariness. What he represents is terrifying.
Oh, it’s Dick Cheney hands down….or up or waving frantically or across the water and otherwise. This man reduces Malkin, Coulter, Rush, O’Reilly, etc. to gibberish ashes. Call him Darth Vadar, Dr. Evil, WHATEVER, this man is so evil(how evil is he?) that I look forward to being able to spit on his grave (and his cheerleader-in-chief monkey man)and hopefully they will die before I and the rest of the USA and the world.
Awwww, thanks, BTW, and it’s good to see you back, but I think that thus far, the voters have spoken, and that “Nosferatu with a combover” seems to be the keeper. I’d have to agree.
Now, if you threw in the FULL phrase, “Karl fucking no-neck fatfuck Rove as the all-time, all-out, indefatigable reich-wing DEMON-PIGLET of most of human history,” and we’re talking competition-weight shit-slinging. We shall see.
Gotta be shrub, he is the anti-christ prototype for all time. If they were to remake one of the lousy Omen sequels, I’d recommend Shrub for the role of the older Damien Thorn. Only the real life, scary as all fsckin’ get out, version.
The bestest thing about this though is that the anti-christ eventually gets it in the end. Go Jeebus go!
Why thank you, BTW! A round of cranberries to all!
The manly Mr. Biscuitbarrel’s oldest friend is coming to spend this sports-packed weekend with us. Many years ago, I served this fellow a slice of chocolate layer cake with bridal trepidation. He chewed, slowly and thoughtfully. And then he said, “It’s almost as good as Entemann’s.”
Tonight, dessert is chocolate cake with macaroon filling and a cunning dusting of toasted coconut on the glaze. And if Mr. Guest doesn’t care for it, that means more for the rest of us.
My nominee for the New Face of Hallowe’en is Erik Prince, head of Blackwater, that smarmy little prick.
Mrs. Biscuitbarrel, it’s really not polite to make people drool with descriptions like that, when you don’t bring enough to share with the whole class.
And yes, Erik Prince is evil, but he’s not the one who handed Blackwater the no-bid contract, now is he… He’s just the ball-gagged little monkey-boy who took the money and ran to torture the “insurgents.”
And I would be happy to forgive you for missing my birthday (along with Scott & S.Z.) if you could ship me one of those rich chocolate/macaroon cakes post-haste. Honey, I’d forgive you for voting republicunt for a cake like that!
Okay, almost.
But I’d really be leaning toward forgiveness.
Voting GOP? Moi? Nooo!
Anyway, drop me a line at mrs.biscuitbarrel@gmail.comand tell me where to send the cake. I’m an old pro at shipping baked goods. Really. It’s the least I can do for all the fine entertainment you give me, despite your serious aches and pains.
For the record, Mr. B’s BFF went nuts over the cake and said so. For someone as acerbic as he, getting such a compliment was unprecedented.
BFF also introduced all of my kids to Mallomars when they were tiny, so my middle son actually went out and bought two boxes to welcome him. They’re not easy to find, even here; BFF says, “I scoff at Pinwheels!” So do I.
My middle son, who is an adventuresome cook, actually DEEP-FRIED a Mallomar (“Didn’t work out,” he sighed).
Yeah, you really need sturdier stock for battered-deep-frying, like Snickers (how the Scots got us all started on that clogged-artery-to-hell) and the only food that will outlive Dick Cheney: Twinkies. Mallomars & Pinwheels are much too fragile for that kind of heat unless it involves rice crispies.
But bless your everlovin’ heart for the offer! I’m battling my baser urges and trying to resist the temptation to write to you, salivating and shuddering with apprehensive joy.

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