The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

This Should Make Jonah G. Feel Better

Town Hall columnist Lisa “Ann Coulter is the dreamiest!” De Pasquale asks an insightful question on behalf of young wingnuts everywhere: “Are We Hypocrites for Not Enlisting?“.  You’ll be happy to know that she then comes up with the reassuring answer, “No, we’re just rejects who aren’t good enough to fight and die for what we believe, so we’ll have to let those kids with the GEDs and the poor parents do it for us.”
Here’s Lisa, explaining why not only the sons and daughters of Republican politicians, but also strapping young conservatives everywhere shouldn’t feel guilty about advocating for war from the air-conditioned comfort of Mom’s basement.
Guilt isn’t necessary. The reality is that most of us wouldn’t make the cut.
Military recruitment was a hot topic when KVI talk radio host Kirby Wilbur broadcasted from the Young America’s Foundation’s national college conference in early August. A military recruiter called into the program to remind listeners that the military is, in fact, an exclusive club. The recruiter estimated that only 1 out of 5 prospective recruits qualify for military service. Most are either physically-challenged, intellectually-challenged or morally-challenged. Or in the case of Max Blumenthal, all three.
And presumably it’s just the moral thing that’s keeping out prospective recruits like Ben Shapiro.
Liberals’ incessant calls to draft every 18-year-old College Republican is tantamount to the disrespect they have for the military.
Yeah, anybody who thinks that College Republicans are fit for the U.S. Army must have a pretty low opinion of the military.
They demand that every person who supports the war join the military or send their children. If they don’t, they’re hypocrites. This isn’t going to be a winning strategy for the Left. Is every person that wears an AIDS ribbon, but doesn’t go to Africa (as Laura and Jenna Bush did) to help children with HIV/AIDS a hypocrite?
This analogy is spot-on, because (a) the “War on AIDS” can only be fought in Africa; spending a week touring some clinics by day and partying by night is just like a two-year plus tour of duty in Iraq; and (c) Laura and Jenna could have DIED in an ambush conducted by some of those pediatric AIDS patients.
Are vice presidents and celebrities that travel in private jets and SUVs while lecturing the little people on the proper amount of toilet paper also hypocrites?
Maybe, maybe not.  So, I propose we do a little experiment.  Let’s take away the private jets of all celebrities who lecture the little people about environmental concerns such as toilet paper abuse, but also draft Jenna and Barbara Bush and the Romney boys into the infantry.  Then we see whose world view changes the most.  It should be fun!
In Treason, Ann Coulter wrote, “Instead of relentlessly attacking the military as immature or testosterone crazed – meaning ‘braver than me’ – liberals might have the good grace to realize they live in a country where big burly men are willing to protect them from bullies.”

Okay, if we’re going to descend to quoting Ann Coulter about her steamy fantasies about burly men bitch-slapping bullies, then I’m out of here!  But thanks, Lisa, for your words of wisdom about the mental, physical, and moral deficiencies of Town Hall readers.
Posted by s.z. on August 15th, 2007

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