The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Shindig! Secretly Supports The Viet Cong

Mary Katherine Ham has discovered that the dancers on the Corny Collins Show are actually agents of the International Islamofascist Jihad:
Last week, “So You Think You Can Dance”—a formerly refreshing, wholesome, entertaining American-Idol-style showcase of America’s best young dancers doing everything from the foxtrot to hip-hop—decided to shake its groove thang and its political agenda.
Apparently, all the contestants performed a dance with the theme of “peace,” which Mary Katherine doesn’t consider an appropriate sentiment for cleancut, wholesome American teeners.
Each dancer picked a word such as “honesty,” “compassion,” or “equality” to stencil on the back of his or her shirt. They then learned Robson’s routine—a cloying, predictable parade of angst and impotence that said nothing beyond “war bad”…
The producers of the show subjected the audience to the routine 10 times in a two-hour period. A balancing salute to the troops—even a mere mention of the troops and basic well wishes—were overlooked.
Remember, if you want to object to people being killed in your name, you have to preface it by saluting the people who are killing people in your name.  (I think we all learned a lesson when Bobby and Cissy were fired from the Lawrence Welk Show after their Lindy Hop was blamed for undermining unit cohesion in Vietnam.)
Next, the show’s producer/judge Nigel Lithgoe was forced to explain the loud-and-clear anti-war message. He expressed utter surprise that anyone would have been bothered by it:
“Even though it may be argued that some wars are necessary, I don’t know anybody who’s pro-war. Who wants a war?   So, to say you’re anti-war doesn’t necessarily mean to say that you are not patriotic and you’re not supporting the troops in difficult situations. It’s really important to separate the two things.” 
Well, the fact that you spent two hours speaking out against the war and compelling your competitors to do the same without even mentioning the troops can lead people to believe you don’t care much about the troops, Nigel. 
Or to conclude that the producers and contestants on So You Think You Can Dance? don’t blame American troops in Iraq for the existence of the war.
It didn’t even occur to either the choreographer or the producers that anyone could disagree with so sensible message as being anti-war. I mean, who’s pro-war? Only conservative Neanderthals could dream of supporting the mission the troops are fighting at this very moment, and none of them are cultured enough to watch a dancing show.
Personally, I am fed up with these effete East Coast intellectuals who seem to believe they’re the only ones qualified to appreciate the nuance of Pants-Off Dance-Off or Shivaree.
Later Mary Katherine details how the dance marathon scenes in They Shoot Horses, Don’t They? unfairly malign lassaiz-faire capitalism.
Posted by scott on August 1st, 2007

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