The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Shorter Jonah Goldberg

From today’s LA Times
“I have a fresh idea that no one has ever suggested in such detail or with such care before:  Let’s have some kind of literacy test at the polling place to keep undesirables from voting!”
Somewhat longer Jonah:
Maybe the emphasis on getting more people to vote has dumbed-down our democracy by pushing participation onto people uninterested in such things. Maybe our society would be healthier if politicians aimed higher than the lowest common denominator. Maybe the opinions of people who don’t know the first thing about how our system works aren’t the folks who should be driving our politics, just as people who don’t know how to drive shouldn’t have a driver’s license.
Instead of making it easier to vote, maybe we should be making it harder. Why not test people about the basic functions of government? Immigrants have to pass a test to vote; why not all citizens?
“I’m also working on an exciting idea for something I’m calling ‘the Poll Tax.’  It’s just a work in progress, but it’s a very serious, thoughtful idea that no one’s ever had before, and I really think it’s got the potential to revolutionize democracy in America.
What?  No, I wasn’t planning on having any American history questions in the voter test – why do you ask?”
UPDATE:  Mary is a public school teacher, so I asked what she thought of this column.  Before her head exploded, this is roughly what she had to say:
So, Jonah thinks people should pass a civics test in order to vote.
All I could think was, “Gee! Wouldn’t it be great if there was a way to educate every citizen of our country so that they would could pass such a test, no matter their income?” Then I remembered that in the past wedid educate our citizens on that very subject; it was called Social Studies and it’s one of the most recent victims of the asinine No Child Left Behind act.
You see, in order to prove proficiency under that act, a school must passonly a reading and math test.  No other subject is tested.  And schools are in such a panic to make sure their students pass their standardized tests, subjects like Science and Social Studies have been pushed out of the classroom.  So if Jonah thinks the current adult population is ignorant of (and therefore disinterested in) politics, wait until the kids now in school come of age.  They’ll be so woefully uninformed about their rights and obligations as citizens, they might actually mistake Jonah’s mash note to Jim Crow for a rational alternative to using the schools and media to inform Americans about issues of public importance.
If you didn’t know better, you’d almost think the GOP wants a populace that’s ignorant about the basics of government, and the NCLB delivers exactly that.
Posted by scott on Tuesday, July 31st, 2007 at 5:02 pm.

23 Responses to “Shorter Jonah Goldberg”

It’s hard to believe he could be serious, but I’m sure he is.
Sad excuse for a human being. It’s almost as though he was raised by a bad mother…
His name is Doughy Pantload…or DoughBob LoadPants (if you are a close friend), and he’ll thank you to remember that.
Y’know, the one redeeming feature in Jonah Goldberg is the comforting feeling I get that, no matter how dumb I might act from time to time…
I’ll STILL never be as stupid as he is.
Of course he’s serious. He thinks Democratic voters are uneducated poor minority welfare recipients who only vote because the Democratic party lies to them, drives them to the polls between soap operas and daytime talk shows, and then pays them to vote.
As Digby points out, in fact it’s the FOX News viewers who’d fail–and fail badly–that kind of test.
Me, I’d actually kind of like to see Jonah’s test–written by someone with an actual fucking clue about both politics and test-writing, of course–taken by assholes who want to *be* on the ballot. Does anyone really think Dubya could’ve passed the goddamned citizenship test with ten weeks of tutors and solid cramming? *Really*?
Mary, I love you. Your response should be tattooed onto Goldberg’s forehead. Fucking moron, that boy, which would be okay if he wasn’t also a complete asshole.
This just in! Jonah Goldberg is still an idiot, and Fransisco Franco is still dead..
I agree with Doughboy, voters must be dumb. How else do you explain George W. Bush? However, Mr. Pantload might consider that 2006 showed that Americans can get a clue eventually.
True, Doctor, but really all Bush proves is that, again, republican voters are dumb as hell. Also, I’m not that impressed by swing voters.
Y’know, I’d be convinced the man is trying to portray himself as an idiot, except I know that if he were trying he’d be a lot less effective at it.
I’d love to see Doughboy’s response to Mary, but he’d probably just cry perscution like the rest of them.
Ooh, here’s some questions for the test!
1) The Vice-President is part of which branch of government?
a) The executive.
b) The legislative.
c) The judiciary.
d) The monarchy.
2) The Fourth Amendment prohibits:
a) The President from wiretapping without a court order.
b) Nothing a Republican President wants to do if he feels like it.
I don’t think Jonah could pass.
“If you didn’t know better, you’d almost think the GOP wants a populace that’s ignorant about the basics of government,”
NO way! Say it isn’t so!
I always wonder just how far down the river these maroons imagine they can take the population without having it come around and bite them on the ass.
I think Jonah may possibly be a double agent working for the left, attempting to force a Marxian proletariat revolution.
Honestly, I otherwise cannot put my head around the breadth of wingnut stupidity.
Starting with our President, our *politicians* are plug ignorant, stupid, and couldn’t pass Jonah’s ‘test’. Heck, HE couldn’t pass it. Another example of $5.00 words being used by a 2¢ brain. God, he makes me sick!
Maybe the emphasis… Maybe our society… Maybe the opinions… maybe we should…
Don’t know about you, but I reckon the guy could put his case more convincingly if he weren’t so assertive, so… emphatic about it.
For someone who purports to be against ‘big government’, it is strange that he is now implicitly endorsing the creation of a gargantuan bureaucracy to administer voting qualification tests.
But I guess as you cram more and more wingnut talking points into an article, the internal logic does tend to decline.
Well, obviously the solution is to shut down the schools and keep some of the administrators on staff for the new voter-testing bureaucracy. Or else just shut down immigration all together (Not the enforcement people–we need them, but the guys in charge of granting citizenship and visas? They’re practically anti-American traitors in their current jobs!) and let them administer tests for voters. They’ve probably already got the Number 2 pencils and everything!
You just have to think like a wingnut. As Doghouse noted on his blog, it’s not that the government needs to be completely shut down. Some of that stuff, like paving the potholes in my street, and inspecting my favorite restaurants, and making sure there’s cops to keep the punks from breaking into my Mercedes, is incredibly important. It’s the useless stuff, like social security and OSHA and the EPA and anything that keeps poor people from selling themselves to my factory for a couple meals a day and a cot, that has to be closed. Then, maybe we could afford some more cops to do something about the punks and their stereos and checking the birth certificates of all those swarthy guys in the 7-11 parking lot every morning.
I think there should be a mandatory test that anyone should have to pass before he is allowed to become a newspaper columnist.
Let’s have some kind of literacy test at the polling place to keep undesirables from voting!
A Democratic dynasty ensued.
This just in! Jonah Goldberg is still an idiot, and Fransisco Franco is still dead..
Left by Gundamhead
The real question is, Is Franco as dead as Goldberg is idiotic?
no. neither is King Tut.
You know, if you guys don’t like my idea to fire all the schoolteachers, there *is* another way we could afford a poll test. We simply charge people to take it. We could call it, I dunno, a poll fee or a poll tax or something. Or we could just require, you know, government photo ID or passports or whatever to vote, too. Then we’d have plenty of tax money to administer a poll test!
You can’t take up the tax unless you take up the carpet, too…
[...] Over at World O’ Crap, Scott asks teacher-friend Mary what she thinks of the idea. Mary thinks along the same lines, pondering No Child Left Behind’s effect on Social Studies in the past we did educate our citizens on that very subject; it was called Social Studies and it’s one of the most recent victims of the asinine No Child Left Behind act. [...]

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