The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, January 21, 2011

April 21, 2006 by s.z.


How I Spent My Spring Vacation


Sorry about the hiatus.  I do have an explantion (and it doesn't include wild revelry in some resort town in Mexico with a bunch of drunken college students, although I wish it did).
First, I had to get the yard ready for the fence installation.  (I'm getting the back yard fenced so that I don't have to take Yodie on walks every two hours, but can instead just throw him outside and let nature take its course -- although I know it doesn't really work that way, especially since he eats everything he finds, and would probably kill himself if left outside unattended.  But still, if could cut down on all the walks, it would be a life saver, since my body was apparently not designed for actual exercise).  The fence people installed the posts Wednesday, Thursday, and part of Friday, and are presumably coming back to put up the actual fencing sometime later this year.  But at least progress is being made.

Then, when the animal rescue group called to find out how Yodie was doing, I told them about the fence, and how great life would soon be.  The lady said that a fenced back yard is great for a dog, and then asked me if I would take, even on a foster basis, another dog who desperately needed a home.  She caught in at a weak moment (and on a day when Yodie had been a pleasure to own, lacking only a dog sibling to play with), so I said okay.

So, the rest of the week has been about the new dog.  He's young (probably about two-years-old), small (about 10-12 pounds), and russet-colored with small white spots on his legs.  He looks like a mix of Chihuahua, maybe some beagle, and perhaps a bit of miniature pinscher.  He had apparently been chained outside to another dog until the pair made a break for freedom (I think the basic plot was The Defiant Ones, but I'm not sure if he was Tony or Sidney).

However, the plot twist is that after their escape, the dog catcher found the two, still joined by a couple of feet of chain, wandering the streets, and took them to the pound.  They were filthy, half-starved, missing fur from their long captivity in chains, and had some healed wounds.  The dog catcher asked the rescue group (which is basically now just the lady who called me, the funding from the philanthropic trust which had supported them for the past few years having run out last year) if it could take them.  Although now all the group does is give the few dogs it takes a kennel spot in the lady's barn until she finds someone to adopt them, she took the two members of the chain gang, and then starting calling people on her sucker list.

Anyway,  I took the male dog, who had just been neutered the day before.  The rescue lady warned me that he had apparently never been in a house before, so wasn't housebroken.  I figured I could handle this, based on my (more-or-less) successful work with Yodie.  What I forgot was that many intact male dogs used to living outside squirt urine on every vertical surface in existence, including walls, couches, scratching posts, etc.  This is what happened in my house.  It's not as fun as it sounds.

I placed a frantic call to the lady at the rescue group, who told me about using a pet belt to hold a doggie diaper over the offending bit of anatomy.  So, I did that whenever he was in the house uncrated, and also reprimanded new dog every time he lifted his leg in the house .  And after a day, that habit seemed to be on its way to extinction, leaving just the basic housebreaking problem.  So, we take walks every couple of hours (and let me tell you, walking two lively young dogs gives your arms a real work out).  While new dog seems compelled to bless every vertical object IN THE WORLD with his urine, at least progress is being made.  I decided to name him Zorro.  Not just because he's fox-colored.  Not just as a tribute to his Mexican roots.  No, mostly because, like his namesake, he leaves his mark all over town.  But his mark isn't the sign of the "Z," it's the sign of the pee.

When not doling out his urine, Zorro spends his time humping Yodie.  Seriously, he can do it for hours. (Yodie is being surprisingly patient with the whole thing, retaliating only with mild ear tugs, or a retreat to the hated sanctuary of his crate, when he can't take the simulated passion any more.)  I'm hoping that as Zorro's hormone levels go time, this behavior will abate, even though it's probably more about his need to dominate Yodie than about his sexual yearnings.  (Zorro seemed to be submissive to the female he was chained to, which is why I thought he'd get along well with Yodie, who is somewhat dominant, but I guess Zorro decided that with the bitch out of the way, his chance to be numero uno had come).  But hey, it does gives Yodie the chance to feel experience what the cats had to go through when he first joined the household.  (He still wants to wrestle with them whenever he can, but he doesn't hump them anymore.)  So far, Zorro just ignores the cats, even though the kittens have made friendly overtures to him -- which is fine.

But at least things are relatively quiet.  So, I was thinking that maybe someday, if I had patience, a fenced backyard. and kept employing all the tricks I saw on "The Dog Whisperer,"  I would have the pet family I'd always dreamed of.  However, things took a disturbing turn today.  I was out in the yard with the two dogs (who were both on leashes) when three neighbor boys aged about 12 came over to see them.  As they petted Yodie (who has turned into a neighborhood favorite with people who don't mind getting their faces licked, and dealing with lots of exuberant doggy affection), Zorro started to growl.  After he stopped, a boy tried to pet him, and got snapped at for his trouble.  So, I reprimanded Zorro, and held onto him while I chatted with the boys.  When the first boy petted Yodie, Zorro leaped out of my arms and nipped the boy on the arm (he didn't break the skin, but did leave tooth-sized indention in the boy's flesh).  The boy, who said he has his own dog and has experienced worse, was very understanding about the whole thing (no law suits were mentioned).

I thought maybe it was a momentary aberration, brought on perhaps by memories of evil boys Zorro had known, or by some perceived need to protect Yodie, but on our next walk, a couple of ladies stopped to coo at the dogs, and Zorro growled and bared his fangs at them. (I guess that taught them a thing or two about cute, little dogs!)  Then, a couple of hours later, my sister came to visit, bearing treats.  Although he had seemed to like her yesterday, Zorro snapped at her this evening when she tried to hold him to give Yodie a break.  We gave him time to calm down, and then she offered him a treat and some kind words.  He snarled at her.  This happened several more times, with it getting so that he would growl when she would just talk or look at him.  I guess the honeymoon is over. 

So, I called the rescue group lady, and told her that I wasn't sure if I, a novice when it comes to dog ownership, was up to the Challenge of Zorro. (I'd wait until the hormone levels had gone down before making a decision, but I don't want him to bond with me any more than he already has if he's not going to be around for the long haul).  She asked me to call a dog behaviorist who is a friend of hers before giving up on him.  So, I'll call her tomorrow and see if she has anything that might save this pet marriage.  I hope she does, because I want to give this dog a better life than he's had, but I really can't afford to have a biter around, even if the backyard does get fenced.

And that's my life.  Posting will probably be light until the fence is finished (which is supposed to happen early next week, but we'll see).  But after that, stay tuned for a major annoucement.  An exciting, momentous, World o'Crap-shattering announcement!  Scott C. is involved.  Cake may be served.

Oh, and in honor of reaching the 3-million hit mark, we'll be having a contest soon (with a REAL valuable prize).  Stay tuned for that too. 

But I have to go now -- my break is over, and my pet masters are calling.

10:14:17 PM    

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