January 18, 2006 by s.z.

A Wingnut From a Simpler Age I started getting nostalgic about wingnuts past, so I decided to look up Adam Yoshida and see what he's been up to lately. And what he's been up to is writing lots of letters to Canada's Prime Minister, telling him how to run the country (instead of running America for us, like Adam used to do).  And while I'm not all that interested in his advice to Prime Minister Harper, I did enjoy this portion from his most recent post: TO: Prime Minister Harper [...] You should build an Army of 100,000 men, organized into eight Brigade Units of Action, on the new American model, with associated support units and reservists. The focus of the Army and Air Force should be supporting this Army. That means building Amphibious Carriers and support ships for the Navy and buying C-17’s, tankers, and close-support planes for the Air Force. [...] Such an increase in our national strength would not only be good for the nation in the sense that it would make us a better nation – it would be good in that it would confer benefits upon us. Do you really think that there would be a Softwood Dispute between that Canada and the United States? Strength breeds respect. He's right, you know.  If Canada had a big ol' army, I'd back away from any dispute I might have with their Softwood.  And if they were a military power, maybe I'd even be interested in Adam's missives to Prime Minister Harper (perhaps Harper should build a big ol' army and see if that's indeed the case).   But anyway, I'd certainly respect their Softwood authoritah!  Unless ... unless our President warned us that we faced an imminent threat from Canada and their Softwood of Mass Destruction, and he reinstated the draft and increased our army's strength by 100,000 men or so.  In that case, I'd probably strongly support the fight to retain America's Softwood sovereignty -- and I'd give my all for the cause by blogging about it or something.  So, maybe there is a flaw in Adam's plan to win the Softwood Dispute by increasing Canada's troop strength. (Sure, it works in Risk, but it might not be feasible in the real world.)  But although I'm glad that the Prime Minister now has Adam to counsel him in all matters, I kind of missed the old Adam, who was more American than, well, the group America (you remember them -- they did that one song).  So, I was happy to find this nugget from a post from last month. In the last few months the President has gone through crisis after crisis ... and he’s survived them all. ... In large measure, this repeated success can be attributed to the personal character of George W. Bush – perhaps the most remarkable and fascinating man of the age.  Yes, Adam may be advising Prime Minister Harper these days, but his heart still belongs to George Bush! UPDATE:  Yes, it was my impression that Harper was not actually Prime Minister at this moment in time, but hey, I have to defer to Adam in these matters, since he's the one writing the letters.. 6:56:32 AM

How Conservatives are Taking Over Hollywood Townhall brings us their own report on that "American Film Renaissance 'n Swap Meet" that you've heard so much about. Bringing us the scoop is Cheryl Felicia Rhoads, "an actress, writer, director and producer" who is "known to children everywhere for her role as Mother Goose in The Mother Goose Video Treasury." Take it away, Cheryl!  ’Tis the season when not unlike the self-involved Narcissus of mythology, the Hollywood establishment basks in its own reflection. Already, we are being bombarded with an onslaught of entertainment industry awards shows. These "self-esteem-athons" predominately skew to the tastes of those with a commonly shared so-called sophisticated worldview. But fortunately, there is an alternative to the Hollywood establishment and their so-called sophisticated worldview (and their fancy-pants films which win all the Oscars and Golden Globes and such).  Yes, there is the so-called "free speech, free enterprise, rugged individualism, freedom of religion and triumph of the human spirit" worldview of the American Film Renaissance, and the unprizewinning films it promotes. Or, as Cheryl put it: Happily, an alternate artistic feeding tube recently served as an IV into the belly of the beast. The American Film Renaissance came to town from Dallas last Friday hoping to provide sustenance to those who—even in Hollywood—have more mainstream sensitivities. The organizers threw down the cultural gauntlet across the hall from the Kodak Theatre, where The Academy Awards are held. The Kodak Theater was shaking in its boots, no doubt. In its Hollywood debut, AFR presented only a few offerings with overtly political messages. [...] The rest of their line-up (http://www.afrfilmfestival.com/) often reflected values that, regardless of political stripe, many Americans share in common. Yes, other than the overtly political films, the rest of the AFR selections often reflected values that many Americans share in common, on occasion, perhaps. A connective thread of inspirational documentaries, features and film shorts glorified values of freedom and triumph of the spirit that uplifts all of humanity! And this freedom spread of glorified values demonstrated a triumph of the will for Hollywood non-elites, uplifting humanity much like Arnold Schwarzenegger uplifted barbells in the great conservative film Stay Hungry!  (Sorry, but to me, Cheryl's prose style seems heavily influenced by the works of Doug Giles and Pastor Swank, and she apparently learned how to use commas from Kaye Grogan.) A variety of topics spanned the emotional spectrum of substance and style, but all stayed true to principles that are often overlooked by the Hollywood establishment. Those principles being "How Muslims Are Trying to Kill You," "Abortion is Murder," "Intelligent Design is God's Plan for Your Science Class," and "Michael Moore is Fat." After a full day of screenings, the festival concluded with a triumphant story concerning property laws in Crazy Like A Fox. Roger Rees (Cheers, The Emperor's Club) stars in the saga of an 8th-generation Virginia gentleman farmer who battles those who would cheat him of his birthright. Per the IMDb Plot Summary of this film, after Rees's character is legally but unethically dispossessed of his property by some greedy land developers, he wages guerilla warfare "against expansionism."  Sorry, but that doesn't sound like conservative values to me! Likewise, The American Film Renaissance was not cheated out of a sparkling California debut. The festival triumphantly joined those courageous others in Hollywood and across the country, that light a creative candle rather than cursing the darkness. As a twenty-year veteran of the entertainment industry, I give kudos to them all. Yet, this past weekend, it was AFR's season to shine. Their Hollywood festival was a welcomed light that burned brightly indeed! This creative candle burned like a shooting star, lighting a spotlight of courage for future conservative triumphs, such as "Hollywood's first openly conservative production house," a consortium which Jason Apuzzo is going to build in his mom's basement.  As a many-year veteran of the War Against Wingnuts, I also give KUDOS® Milk Chocolate Granola Bars to them all (but only metaphorical ones, because they don't deserve actual snacks). P.S. Since you were undoubtedly on pins and needles, waiting to learn who won the 2005 AFR Screenwriting Contest, you will be happy to know that the winners have finally been posted.  Taking first place was: Global Village Idiots by Russell Dvonch Comedy: An idealistic young man joins an environmentalist commune where a series of comic disasters leads him to embrace the virtues of individualism, capitalism and America. So, a young man abandons environmentalism, and learns to embrace the virtues of capitalism and America.  Sounds like a winner to me too! You'll also be delighted to learn that since the contest organizers "couldn't help but notice that many of the otherwise-promising screenplays entered in our contest suffered from several common shortcomings and problems," they plan on posting "a sort of primer for screenwriters here on this website in the next few weeks outlining these too-frequent pitfalls that screenwriters stumble into."  I think we'll all learn a lot from it, and will soon have stellar writing careers, just like Cheryl.  (Cheryl's lengthy Townhall bio indicates that she is a "member of the Writer’s Guild of America" who has "written for several network television shows"  However, her IMDb writing credits are limited to: Writer - filmography 1."Doc" (2001) TV Series (writer) (Doc Insider segments) 2.  "The Motown Revue Starring Smokey Robinson" (1985) TV Series (writer) ... aka Motown Revue (USA: short title) But hey, she is known to children everywhere for her role as Mother Goose in The Mother Goose Video Treasury, so I guess I should get off her case.) 5:02:25 AM