The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, January 21, 2011

February 24, 2006 by s.z.


Catfight Time!


Here's part of Ann Coulter's latest column, which is about how we should invade their countries, kill their leaders, convert them to Christianity, and then kill the rest of them. 

Or, as Ann puts it:
The Bush administration's obstinate refusal to profile Middle Easterners has been the one massive gaping hole in national security since the 9/11 attacks
[...]  
Isn't it enough that we're already patronizing the savages over the cartoons? Do we have to let them operate our ports, too?)
But here's the part I liked:
Fox News' Bill O'Reilly refuses to show the cartoons on "The O'Reilly Factor," saying he doesn't want to offend anyone's religion. Someone should tell him those endless interviews with prostitutes from the Bunny Ranch and porn stars aren't high on Christians' list of enjoyable viewing either. (How about adding Prophet Muhammad cartoon T-shirts and fleece tops to his vast collection of "Factor gear"? Isn't Father's Day right around the corner? I'd buy those.)
Ann, that wasn't very nice!  You probably hurt Bill's feelings (and we all know that he doesn't take criticism very well). 

So, I expect that tomorrow's "Talking Point Memo" will go something like this:
It seems that author and commentator Ann Coulter doesn't approve of our respect for a major world religion. That's fine, that's her prerogative. She makes her living by being outrageous, shrill, and "in your face," so she has to say things like this, in order to attract any kind of attention these days. What this woman says does not matter to me. I am the host of the most popular cable news program in the world, while she's an aging skank. So, her claim that my interviews of prostitutes and porn stars offend you, the folks (the same folks who helped me fight the glorious War For Christmas), is obviously way off the mark. Clearly, we should all pay her no mind, since it's just the syphilis talking. 
However, I can't stand by and let her insult my Factor Gear. The Factor Gear is made in America by American working men and women who depend on orders for my hats, door mats, and fleece jackets to support their families. And I'm not going to let a cheap tart like Coulter take food off their tables! In the Old West, that kind of behavior would get you shot.
You know, I woulda loved to have lived in the Old West. Back then, Ann and I woulda just had a little shootout. It would have been Clint Eastwood time. I woulda had the cheroot, the serape, woulda given my squint, and I woulda put a bullet right between her head. Then I woulda gone over to that tent where those Brokeback boys were having their icky butt sex, and I would blasted them too. Pow, pow, pow, just like that! And then Lee Van Cleef would be there, and he would tell me that he was my read dad and that he was proud of me. And we would hug, and then we'd shoot some Indians together. It would be so great!
But back to Ms Coulter and her smears -- I don't think she knows exactly what she's dealing with here. If you cross the Factor Gear, it's not just me, it's Roger Ailes who will go after you. Ailes operates behind the scenes, makes things happen, and then one day BAM! the person gets what's coming to him or her, but never sees it coming. Just look at what happened to Harry Whittington if you don't believe me.
Oh, and Ms. Coulter, if you're watching, how about adding a loofah mitt to the accessories available for your Ann Coulter doll. And maybe some shower gel and a little vibrator shaped like a cock. I'd buy those. 
3:50:28 AM    



 The Worst Professor Ever!



Who is the world's worstest professor?  Per the FrontPage magazine poll, as of now, it's Michael Bérubé.  In fact, Michael is about 1000 times worse than Ward Churchill, the guy who, only a few months ago, was worse than Osama bin Laden.  Michael is c. 5000 times worse than Bernardine Dohrn, who was part of the leadership of the Weather Underground, and even made the FBI's Ten Most Wanted list.  And Professor Bérubé is more than 10,000 times worse than ex-Weatherman Bill Ayers. 

(Ayers, as we are reminded by Jamie Glazov in an interview David Horowitz consented to give to FrontPage about his book, "was the leader of the terrorist 'Weatherman' cult" who accidentally blew up his girlfriend while making a bomb.  But Horowitz reveals something even worse about Ayers: "Even when I was a leftist Bill Ayers struck me as a superficial human being, and essentially thoughtless.")
So, you can see just how evil Bérubé must be.

And with your help, he can be even worse.  Vote now to ensure that Michael gets the recognition he deserves.  (And since you can apparently vote as many times as you want, your opinion can really make a difference.)

And why is Bérubé such a bad professor?  Well, each voter must decide that for him or herself, but David gives a compelling reason in this blog entrywhich says in part:
Oh, did I mention that Michael imagines himself a humorist?
The bastard!
David also offers up this indictment against Michael:
Like a typical leftist he no doubt doesn’t want to put money in my pocket by buying the book. 
That's just the kind of bad professor he is!

Anyway, each man, woman, child, dog, and hamster must vote his or her conscience, but Sadly, No! has ordered you to vote for Michael Bérubé --  and you don't want to go against these guys, because they have bad recipes!

2:47:08 AM    

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