August 31, 2005 by s.z.

Stuff I Should Have Done a Long Time Ago ...  ... but at least am getting around to now. 1.  I added the wonderful BlondeSense to the blogroll, and am officially advising you that our friend AnntiChrist S. Coulter has joined the roster of feisty women who blog there.  Okay, you already knew that, but did you know that Katrina didn't cause too much damage to AC's neck of the woods, although it did destroy a lot of her favorite places in New Orleans?  You say that you knew that too, because you already read BlondeSense?  Fine.  Be that way. 2.  I am notifying you that the Third Anniversary Edition of VIRTUAL OCCOQUAN is out.  It's chock full of good stuff, such as:  Idle Brains - Ian Wood [Irony Shared; Blasphemy Mine] - Karen Murphy Scott Has a Birthday Party - Simon Lavitagus Raisin Cane - Leslie Talbot Birthday Boy - Mark Hoback and Good Eating with George Bush. Plus, many, many more.  Check it out! Okay, that's it.  Sure, there's a lot more that I should do, but I have to go to the dentist today, and the hamster is sick, and the computer has been acting up, and I'm tired.  Anyway, check back next month -- maybe then I'll get around to answering all that email I owe everybody.   2:58:43 AM

I Finally Get a Chance to Sell Out I was recently contacted by a guy doing PR for Pamela Anderson's latest book.  He offered me a free copy in exchange for a mention of the book on the blog.  And that was a deal I couldn't pass up, since my whole reason for blogging has been in hopes of getting free stuff (and finally, after two years, I have achieved success!) I can't give you a review of Star Struck yet, since I just received it, but I can do a compare/contrast analysis, which will hopefully give you some useful information for when you go to the book store. So, let's now compare and contrast Pamela Anderson's Star Struck and Bill O'Reilly's Those Who Trespass. Quick Description Star Struck:  A frothy beach read in the Jackie Collins mode. Those Who Trespass:  An inept erotic thriller in the Color of Night mode. More Detailed Description Struck:  A roman a clef about Hollywood and "the dark side of celebrity."  Plot involves drugs, sex, rock and roll, a murder, and characters based on famous people.  Trespass:  A roman a clef about the world of TV news.  Plot involves sex, lots of murders, and characters based on famous people -- who all get killed, because they dissed Bill O'Reilly. Each author's fictional alter ego: Struck:  Star Wood Leigh, a naive, well-endowed blonde who goes from Playboy centerfold to a "Bay Watch"-esque babe, and along the way has a tempestuous marriage to a Tommy Lee-esque character.  Trespass: Tommy O'Malley, a tough-talking, square-shooting Irish-American cop from Levittown, NY.  Also, Shannon Michaels, a tough-talking news broadcaster who kills everyone who's every wronged him (Bill gets two alter egos because his ego is that big.) Publisher's description of each book: Struck:   A hasty secret marriage to rock 'n' roll bad boy Jimi Deed triggers a chain of events that changes both of their lives. Together they soar to the heights of stardom and explore the dark side of celebrity. As their lives become more public, their secrets get even darker.  ... Bestselling authors Pamela Anderson and Eric Shaw Quinn are back with their latest installment on the life of their fictional alter ego and their twisted take on stardom. Trespass:   With three consecutive number one bestsellers, Bill O’Reilly has proved that he’s the king of the nonfiction list. With Those Who Trespass, he extends his bestselling domain to fiction ... Those Who Trespass combines suspense, action, psychodrama, and romance with a fascinating glimpse into the harsh realities behind the delivery of our daily dose of television news--a picture only Bill O’Reilly could bring to life. Would these books have been published if they had been written by unknowns? Of course not.  Sex Scenes? Struck:  Yes. Trespass: Yes. Um, can you give us an example of a sex scene from each novel?  Yes indeedy. Struck: The water felt like warm Jell-O against her skin, thicker somehow. More viscous. And then, Jimi was on her, rubbing against her, and they were naked together for the first time, in the warm, silky water. His mouth sought hers out and the feeling of his tongue entwined with hers was almost too much. It was as if they were kissing in slow motion as each tried to seek out every bump and serration and indentation in the mouth of the other. "What does this feel like?" he asked, trailing his fingers down her body and sliding them inside. Star shrieked. The orgasm was instantaneous, swift, and fierce. Jimi merely brushed against that most sensitive spot and she went off like a gunshot. The effect was so intense she had to hang on to Jimi for support. But unlike a gunshot, it went on and on. As his fingers explored, it just kept happening, rolling over her like waves in a storm, too numerous to count and too frequent to regain her footing. Trespass: Ashley was now wearing only brief white panties. She had signaled her desire by removing her shirt and skirt, and by leaning back on the couch. She closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but Shannon's tongue and lips. He gently teased her by licking the areas around her most sensitive erogenous zone. Then he slipped her panties down her legs and, within seconds, his tongue was inside her, moving rapidly. We've read that scene from 'Trespass' a million times -- can't you cite something else from it? Oh, okay. He was speaking hushed tones, telling her how much he enjoyed her body, using words that in polite conversation would have been vulgar, but in this context were extremely erotic. His hands firmly gripped her buttocks. And: Tommy O'Malley was naked and at attention. "Drowning is not an option," he said, "unless, of course, you beg me to perform unnatural acts right here in the shower." Wow, Bill's sex scenes are really bad, aren't they? Yes.  But to be fair, his murder scenes are no better.  Okay, how about comparing opening sentences? Fine. Struck: Why do my nipples hurt? was Star's first thought as she woke from a strangely deep sleep, her hands gliding along her naked body to the tender nipples that had awakened her. She winced as she made contact, realizing only belatedly that she was naked. Trespass: As Ron Costello saw it, the nighttime media party in Edgartown provided him a wide-open window of opportunity--one he could make the most of. For he was frustrated and fed up, and what he badly needed was to satisfy a basic human need, the need for some kind of physical release. So, which book should I read? That's up to you, but Star Struck features not even one Bill O'Reilly alter ego.  Plus, the Star Struck publicist gave me a free copy.  So, taking these factors into account, 99 out of a 100 experts say that you should probably read Star Struck if you're in the mood for a fictionalized account of a celebrity's life.  And you do have to admit that Pam is a little easier on the eyes than ol' Blotchy Bill. 1:46:17 AM