July 5, 2005 by s.z.

Our Latest Enemy Yes, NewsMax picked the 4th of July to let it slip that there's a Simmering Feud Between the U.S. and Canada.  I assume that in a couple of weeks, the President will announce that “The people of the United States will not live at the mercy of an outlaw regime that threatens the peace with socialized medicine, gay marriages, and maple syrup.” Condi will say that we'd better invade them now, because we don't want the smoking gun to be a hockey stick.  Dick Cheney will remark, "I think it's not surprising that people make a connection between Mariah CareyCeline Dion and 9/11." And Rachel Marsden will promise us that our troops will be met with sweets and flowers --  because she's already decided which side she supports. Anyway, here's part of the NewsMax story, which is mostly about the feud between Bill O'Reilly and Canada, but I guess any feud that involves Bill is America's feud: Well before Canada's ambassador to the United States announced he was declaring war on the "Fox factor" and what he says is Fox News' anti-Canadian bias, a cold war between the news network and our neighbor to the north had been under way. [...] Fox, perceived as strongly in support of the Bush administration policies in Iraq, had become anathema to Canada's ruling elite. Well, Fox, perceived as strongly supportive of most Bush administration policies (and also tabloid reporting), has become anathema to lots of people.  So, I don't think it's worth going to war with our neighbors to the North just because they only let Fox News be broadcast to digital cable subscribers.  Why should innocents suffer?  (And by innocents, I mean people who don't want to watch "Hannity & Whosit" and "Fox 'n Friends 'n Bimbos.") Anyway, here's the Rachel Marsden portion of the article: Writing in NewsMax.com earlier this year (Fox News Enters the Canadian Media Henhouse), Rachel Marsden, a public affairs and communications strategist, columnist and talk show host [and serial stalker] who has worked in politics and media in the United States and Canada, gave these examples of the way Canada's leftist Canadian Broadcasting Corp. (CBC) portrays the U.S.: CBC aired a rabidly anti-Bush documentary entitled "The World According to Bush" – not once but three times – during the 2004 presidential election campaign. And that's presumably why very few Canadian citizens voted for Bush in the 2004 presidential election. Another program also broadcast by the CBC right before the election was "The Unauthorized Biography of Dick Cheney." The CBC Web site stated: "Cheney's remarkable life story involves the relentless accumulation of power in every form. ... [The CBC] will show how he accomplished this, what it involved in terms of costs for others and what history's judgement [sic] could be." Not only did CBC broadcast a program claiming that Cheney's life story involves the accumulation of power in every form (oil, nuclear energy, coal, etc.), but they had the nerve to use the secondary spelling of "judgment"! Finally, the CBC commissioned and aired a documentary titled "Stupidity," in which the message is that George W. Bush is officially a moron because, according to the press release issued by the producer, "a group of Canadian stupidity experts" says so. Well, I think that Rachel has proven that the CBC is anti-America, all right.  Yup, they aired three programs that seem critical of our Prez and VP, and therefore, they (and their whole liberal country) must hate us.  But Rachel for one welcomes her new American overlords, and reminds them that she could be useful in rounding up others to toil in their underground stupidity mines. For apparently she isn't any too fond of her native land  Per her columns, never will you find a more wretched hive of scum and liberalism than Canada (at least, the parts of it that she writes about).  Her lastest column deals with the stupid city of Toronto, and how it says it's going to get tough on people who don't recycle, but instead of jailing them or shooting them or something, the damned liberals in the city council will just send them warning letters.  Hey, the Mayor should at least talk tough about how the recycling scofflaws are evil doers, how they can run but they can't hide, and how the city should invade their homes, kill their leaders, and convert them to recycling.  But noooo, the city is just a bunch of wimpy liberals, and nobody at all is going to get the death penalty for their pro-garbage crimes.  The City of Toronto has descended into a quagmire in the War on Garbage and now city council is calling in the troops. At least that’s what you would believe if you’ve been following all the hyperventilation this week suggesting the city will soon be imposing fines on people who don’t properly sort their recyclables. [...] Just as all the jihadists would have done if liberal John Kerry had been elected U.S. president last November, trash terrorists can chill out knowing that the lefty-dominated council is in charge of fighting this war. And, as President Bush implied, there are links between the trash terrorists and al Qaeda -- so, it's a time for tough action. Or it it?  The reality is that there will always be situations in which recycling is more of a hassle than it’s worth: You’re doing some quick de-cluttering and just want to open a big trash bag and dump everything in. Yeah, when you're cleaning up a murder scene, you don't want to be bothered sorting the blood-soaked rags, rubber gloves, and murder weapon from the body.  It's much more convenient to just open a big trash bag and dump everything in it. You live in a small space and have nowhere to store your rotting compost. They make you recycle your rotting compost in Canada?  Man, their recycling laws are stringent! You walk by those big silver trash/recycling bins on the street and would rather just drop your newspaper through whichever slot looks the cleanest, rather than risk getting a dose of hepatitis from one you’re actually supposed to be using. Every year, thousands of men, women, and children die of hepatitis they caught from dropping their newspapers into dirty recycling bins.  Don't let anyone YOU care about be part of that number -- join Rachel in her crusade to, um, whine about liberals.  Thank you. Oh, and when we actually invade Canada, we will fight them there so we don't have to fight them here.  Because if we had to fight them here, they'd probably try to keep us from watching our beloved Bill O'Reilly, and might force us to recycle our rotting compost. 5:33:18 AM

Well, This Explains Everything Remember when we learned (via Jesus' General and his "Operation Yellow Elephant") that the Young Republicans are all war heroes, pretty much, and so feel no need to serve in the Iraq War that they so fervently admire? To refresh your memory, here's part of what the YR Convention Chair Nathan Tayor said in a press release entitled YRNC2005 Convention Chairman Responds to Attacks by Leftists: “Most of our members either serve, have served, or plan to serve in the United States Armed Forces, or have participated in events or projects supporting the United States Armed Forces." Anyway, I kinda wondered what events or projects supporting the U.S. Armed Forces these young patriots had been involved with (since I knew that danged few of them serve or have served in the U.S. Armed Forces).  I got an answer yesterday from President Bush: "On this Fourth of July, and in the days ahead, I ask every American to find a way to thank the men and women defending our freedom. There's so many ways to do so. You can fly the flag, or send a letter to the troops in the field, or help a military family down the street. The Department of Defense has set up a web site, Americasupportsyou.mil. You can go there to learn about efforts in your own community. And by the way, it's not too late to find something to do today. At this time, when we celebrate our freedom, our troops have got to understand that the American people support them all the way. "(Applause.) So, the brave Young Republicans have served their country by flying the flag, thus supporting the troops.  And if that's all the President asks of them, how can we as a nation demand anything more? Oh, and I also think I discovered something about the ones who actually went to war. From a Young Republican document entitled 2004 Election Wrap-Up, we learn what the Nevada YR chapter (headed by Nathan Taylor) did last year for the cause of freedom.  Here are some of their heroic accomplishments: NV YRs were also active on the campuses of Nevada, registering new voters, protesting opponents' visits to the state, conducting campus rallies and parties, and assisting in a statewide bumper sticker war against the Democrats. So, see: the Nevada Young Republicans have served their country, and it was in the trenches during wartime.  And as veterans of a brutal, dangerous war to preserve the freedoms and ideals of our nation's bumpers, did they get the parades and honors that were their due?  No!  I think that if we bring this to the President's attention, he will sign a bill rectifying that oversight.  For aren't they truly the greatest generation of all?       P.S.  Here's part of a 1999 profile of Nathan that appeared in the local paper: Although he won't turn 24 until August, Nathan Taylor has already gained a tremendous amount of experience in the political realm. [...] A self-described "artistic eccentric" who focused on performing in the choir during his teen years, Taylor said his interests gradually shifted to governmental affairs as he saw more of the world. [...] Taylor doesn't plan to relax anytime soon. He hopes to be elected to the United States Congress by the time he reaches 30. Oops, that's next month! (Yes, he's a rapidly aging Young Republican.)  Nathan, a coup is the only possible way to achieve your goal.  I suggest you try to take out Jon Porter (R) of Nevada's District 3,since, per this Contacting Congress page, his "Professional Experience (Including Military)" consists of: "Owner, Insurance company."  I think that with your experience in the Great Bumpersticker War of 2004, you definitely have the edge on him in regard to combat, and should be able to defeat him and his forces fairly easily. 3:39:45 AM