April 3, 2005 by s.z.

Contest News

Wow, there must be over a hundred titles submitted in our "Name Mary Cheney's Memoir" contest.  So, I am happy to announce that I managed to persuade Scott C. to be our judge (Let the bribery commence)!  We just need to work out the the procedure, then he'll provide me with a sealed envelope, verified by Price Waterhouse, containing a list of the winning entries.

But until then, here's some more info about Mary Cheney's book and Mary Matalin's plans for her imprint, from a Newsweek interview:

Will she write about coming out to her parents?
That’s not what she’s about. She’s very much like her father. Not a touchy feely type. She’s got other stories. She was sitting at the table for the last two campaigns. Every time we punched [Democratic candidate John] Kerry, it came out of the mouth of Dick Cheney. She made it happen. We’ll have a lot to say about the media. A modern day “Boys on the Bus.” Or women on the plane.

Hey, that could be a book title -- Mary Cheney: The Woman on the Plane Who Used Her Dad's Mouth to Punch John Kerry, But Was A Total Innocent Who Never Should Have Been Mentioned in the Presidential Debates.

I think it would be interesting to read about what it’s like for her to be gay in a conservative family.
I agree with that. [But] she won’t answer the question like that. They’re not defined by their conservatism. They’re westerners. They’re family. She’ll hit on it: “Why did Kerry say that and what was I thinking when he did.”

In other words, she doesn't want to talk about being gay unless she can use it to help sell beer and/or Republicanism.

Might it look like you’re shilling for the administration?
I don’t care if I look like I’m shilling. I’m a proud shiller. If I wanted to make a ton of money I could be an extraordinary shiller. If my tombstone said “Shiller,” I could put under that, “Proud.” I want the history to be recorded. I’m not looking for contrary books. I cover the shiller niche.

Yeah, just stick with what you're good at, Mary.

Anyway, stay tuned for contest results, coming sometime soon, relatively speaking.

And here's another prize that would be perfect for this contest, if we were actually giving tangible prizes instead of the more enduring (and cheaper) prize of having your name featured in this blog.

Punch Out The President (and Pals)!by Patrick Regan, Steven Chorney (Illustrator) Product Description:Ever wonder what it would have been like to party with George W. during his freewheeling frat days at Yale? Ever notice the eerie similarities between Vice President Cheney and Austin Powers' Dr. Evil? Ever wonder what it would be like to cast Donald Rumsfeld in the role of a chickenhawk-like superhero? Well, wonder no more! With the Punch Out the President (and Pals) paper doll set, you can experience these playtime scenarios and many, many more! Punch Out the President includes four honest-to-goodness (okay, perhaps that's not the most appropriate phrase in this case) eight-inch-tall, perforated paper dolls including George W., Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and the ever-animated Attorney General John Ashcroft. (Be warned, readers of faint heart, the dolls-Cheney included-come clad only in their skivvies!)

Maybe for our next contest we'll give actual prizes like this (but probably not).
5:26:53 AM