April 6, 2005 by s.z.

Accuracy and Proof are Such a Nuisance! Ever since we learned from the Des Moines Register (see below) about the "anything-goes nature of the blogosphere," and about how "self-proclaimed reporters on the Internet [...]seem to find accuracy and proof a nuisance in uncovering fantastical conspiracies," we've been eager to promote our own fantastical conspiracies. So, watch as we weave a couple of facts into a story that rivals anything that WorldNetDaily could dream up. Fact one: Meghan Cox Gurdon recently announced that she is pregnant. Fact two: Seb from Sadly, No! just announced that his first child will be born this summer. Fantastical Conspiracy Theory: Meghan is carrying Seb's child, which they will name Ethelbert Limburger No!, and homeschool via that brainwashing technique featured in The Manchurian Candidate so the child can grow up to assassinate Justin Darr, who is Meghan and Seb's archenemy. Anyway, Seb has a new posse (consisting of Gavin M., who seems like a nice guy ... at FIRST!, and Brad from Superhappyfun Blog) who are going to be permanent co-bloggers at the site.  Check out how they misuse the "anything goes nature of the blogosphere" before they ruin it for the rest of us. 4:34:48 AM

The Gannon Report:  A Round-up of Today's News About the Guy Who Is So Feared by the Left that We Named Him One of Our Favorite Wingnuts First, Mark from Fried Green al-Qaedas tips us off to a Dan Froomkin column that discusses the second blogger to be admitted to White House press conferences, one Eric Brewer from the blog BTC News.  And Eric got to ask a question -- and it was even a good question!  But, alas, he just got a typical Scottie McClellan reply that boils down to "This administration doesn't believe it has ever done anything wrong, and so can never learn from its mistakes." Anyway, I was especially interested in this part of the story: Brewer, like Gannon, received what is called a "day pass" from the White House press office. But Berger suggests that the press office either has some new rules, or is finally enforcing the old ones: "My contact made very clear that Eric would need a hard pass, with the attendant FBI check, if we intended him to be there on a Guckert-like schedule or any regular schedule, even as little as once a week," Berger wrote.  So, yes, Gannongate wasn't about how the WH broke he the rules for somebody with no qualifications because it liked his softball questions (and the cut of his GOPUSA jib), it's about how mean liberals picked on Gannon because he's conservative (and gay). And that leads us to our second Gannon item, this one suggested by Frederick from BeatBushBlog (who learned of it via Atrios).  It's the story that's sweeping the blogs (at least, per the Des Moines Register): that JimJeff GuckertGannon is really kidnapped paperboy Johnny Gosch!  Yes, apparently "scores of Web loggers (bloggers)" are promoting this theory, which involves a CIA-run pedophile ring, blackmail, and the Chinese Secret Police.  (Oh, and per the reporter, somehow Rush Limbaugh is involved too, but she never says how -- I guess she just figures that the goofy liberals blame him for everything.)  And, per the reporter, if you see any details in the theory that don't fit (like that Guckert is 13 years older than Gosch and has a documented background in Pennsylvania, the answer is "Wizards did it!" ... I mean, "the CIA did it". And why did the Register run a 2000+ word piece about this wackiness? I think the answer is in the paragraph: The way the theory developed says much about the anything-goes nature of the blogosphere and self-proclaimed reporters on the Internet, who seem to find accuracy and proof a nuisance in uncovering fantastical conspiracies. Yes, it means that bloggers (especially liberal ones) are all a bunch of nuts who just make up stuff -- unlike JOURNALISTS who work for NEWSPAPERS.  So, if you believed that nonsense the bloggers were trying to peddle about how the White House gave daily press conference access to a prostitute, then that just proves what a big sucker you are. And why did we link to this Register story?  Because it mentioned our blog ("In February, his softball questions raised the ire of liberal bloggers. Writers on Daily Kos, Atrios and World O'Crap discovered ties between James D. Guckert and gay escort Web sites ...").  Although, for the record, it wasn't his softball questions that raised my ire, it was his ripping-off of Rush Limbaugh to compose those questions.  (So maybe THAT'S the link between GuckertGannon and the missing paperboy -- Gosch was kidnapped and forced to write material for Rush Limbaugh!) And no "Gannon Report" would be complete without the latest from JimJeff himself: Clinton advisor gets a slap on the... Former national security advisor Sandy Burger reached a plea agreement with the Department of Justice over classified documents he illegally removed from the National Archives by stuffing them down his trousers.  This is stunning example of the lack of journalistic curiosity from the MSM about an egregious breach of national security done with a political purpose.  There's been far much more interest in what's in my pants...  STORY Since I addressed the Berger story yesterday, I'll just add that Berger removed the classified documents in his portfolio (while he did say that he put his handwritten notes in his pants pockets, their classification level is unknown) -- Jimmy, it says that right there in the story you referred us to. Oh, and Jimmy -- since you posted photos of yourself sans pants in order to advertise what's in your pants, you come across as less than sincere (and even rather coy) when you complain about how there's too much interest in the subject. 3:14:03 AM

It's a Wonderful Privatized Account Plan From the NY Times: [President Bush] visited the Treasury Department's Bureau of the Public Debt accounting office here on Tuesday, a trip orchestrated to show that there is no physical vault containing workers' payments into Social Security. "You see, a lot of people in America think there's a trust, in this sense: that we take your money through payroll taxes and then we hold it for you, and then when you retire, we give it back to you," Mr. Bush said. "But that's not the way it works." He continued, "But you . . . you . . . you're thinking of this all wrong. As if Social Security had the money in a safe. The money's not here. Your money's in Widow Jones' house.  And in Gramps Kennedy's house, and in the house of the Old Lady Macklin, and a hundred others."  "Why, you're lending the government the money to feed these old folks, and then, when you're old, it says it's going to pay it back to you from the government bonds it purchased with the old folks' money.  Now, what if the government doesn't repay its borrowed debts -- then where will you be?" "So, what are you going to do?  Foreclose on the old folks?" "Sure, you are!  It's time to stop lending these geezers your money, and to start putting it in a safe -- the safe of the stock market!  That way your money can help folks like Mr. Potter build more slums, and you can grow rich along with him.  Doesn't that make more sense than the plan that the Democrats didn't come up with?" "And now that that's settled, let's blame the federal deficit on Uncle Billy and then go on vacation." 2:59:08 AM