September 19, 2005 by s.z.

A Townhall Emmy Wrap-Up Megan Basham, Townhall's movie reviewer, offered us her Emmy Predictions; they are based on the premise that all members of the Academy are PC-loving, God-hating commies who do whatever they can to spite the decent Americans who read Townhall.  And since the Emmy winners have now been announced, let's see how well she did at prognosticating. Best Drama Should Win: “24.”  While The New York Times was carping about the treatment of captured terrorists, Jack Bauer was chasing down Islamo-fascists and showing audiences what it really takes to beat these guys: an iron will and the willingness to work around bureaucracy and Capitol Hill platitudes.  Oh, and to inflict a little pain when it’s necessary to save American lives – Yes, what makes a great drama is a manly hero inflicting pain on "captured terrorists," such as the Gitmo detainees.  Sure, the squeamish may find watching people being tortured not all that entertaining, but it's not like Islamo-fascists are actually people.   -- which means the best show on television will be lucky to walk away with a few technical awards this year. That's always the way it is.  I bet Deuce Bigalo 2 gets slighted at the Oscars for the same reason: for being too real for the suits to handle. A good second place would be “Lost,” but the Academy won’t give it to them either—too many people like it and it doesn’t have any anti-Republican or pro-gay subtext.  I guess Megan doesn't get that the plane crash that set everything in motion was a thinly-disguised criticism of Ronald Reagan.  She also missed all the implied homo-erotic action taking place between the bad boy and the doctor.  Ha ha, just kidding!  Except about the implied homo-erotic action, of course. Even worse, it has a mildly pro-religion subtext, It does???  Believing that the island brought those people together for a reason (and is trying to keep them there, and that it wants them to open that ominous hatchway) is a religion now? so unless all those people who gave “The West Wing” a gagillion statues aren’t voting anymore, “Lost” will probably be a good way to describe the show the day after the Emmy’s. Sadly, "Lost" not only won "Outstanding Drama Series," but also the award for Outstanding Directing in a drama.  So, I guess the people who voted for "West Wing" in previous years are all dead now. Will Win:  “Deadwood.”  It’s amoral, features plenty of nudity and foul language, and depicts white settlers engaging in every kind of reprehensible activity while oppressing an array of innocent minorities--everything the Academy could wish for. It even boasts human-corpse-eating pigs.  That plus the fact that nobody watches it makes “Deadwood”  a shoe-in. Yes, it has all those reprehensible acts and the nudity and foul language going for it, and yet it didn't win.  Do you think that there could be something wrong with Megan's predictive model?  Best Actor in a Drama Should Win: I would say Kiefer Sutherland for his tense, tortured, but single-minded Jack Bauer, but his incredible realism makes me think that Kiefer Sutherland may actually be a secret anti-terrorism operative and isn’t acting at all. Yeah, Keifer is actually fighting terrorism in his spare time, and the Academy really hates that, which is why he didn't win. Therefore, the award should go by default to Brit Greg Laurie for his wonderfully cantankerous, politically-incorrect House.  Because if the tense secret torturer of Islamo-fascists can't win, the rules say that the award should go by default to the next most politically-incorrect character. But, as I said, “House” is politically-incorrect Actually, it's not -- see for instance last week's ep, which offered up the idea that every life, even that of a convicted killer, has value, and that when weighing punishment, societal and environmental factors are as worthy of consideration as an organic disorder.  and not in Hollywood’s obscenity-heavy, highly-sexual way, so it ain’t gonna happen. Will Win: For all the same reasons listed above, “Deadwood’s” anti-hero, Ian McShane.  And the winner was ... James Spader, from "Boston Legal."  I don't watch the show, but since it's on network TV, I doubt it features much nudity or foul language (and hardly any corpse-eating pigs).  However, since I think James Spader plays a lawyer, I guess his character could be engaging in every other kind of reprehensible behavior (except eating corpses).  Best Actress in a Drama Should Win: Of all the categories, this one is the least interesting.  But Glenn Close did a lot to class up the frequently sleazy, “The Shield.”  Will Win: Considering the only ladies’ category that really has people’s attention is the one with all the “Desperate Housewives,” Close’s star power probably will make her the winner. The winner was Patricia Arquette, from "Medium."   Megan is now zero for three. Best Comedy Should Win: “Arrested Development.”  A sister who wants to be a liberal activist but can’t bear giving up fur, a mother who enlists her son in the army after being confronted by a Michael Moore impersonator, voice-over narration by Ron Howard and the resurrection of the Fonz—what’s not to love about this show? Well, if one were a reviewer for Townhall, I guess one could not love the mockery of uptight fundamentalist Christians, the japes at the handling of the war on terror, etc.  Will Win: Most likely “Everybody Loves Raymond” for sentiment’s sake.  Okay, she got one right. Actor in a Comedy Will Win:  Ray Romano.  Now I like “Everybody Loves Raymond” as much as the next guy, but Ray Romano essentially plays himself in every episode, which, while he does it well, is less of a challenge.  His piles of money should be enough of a reward, but since his show’s ending, he’ll get the Emmy too. Tony Shalhoub got the award for his portrayal of obsessive-compulsive, neurotic title character in "Monk."   He wasn't playing himself, as far as I know. Actress in a Comedy: Should Win: Felicity Huffman.  Not only was she hysterically funny on the delightful, but doomed series “Sports Night,” she is also the most relatable and least desperate of all the housewives nominated. She has screaming kids, an overworked husband, and a diminishing sex life, yet she works to make her marriage thrive and admits that she’s happy to be home with her children and out of the corporate rat race.  And that’s why she’ll lose. I guess the Academy didn't get the memo ordering them to vote against marriage, motherhood, and apple pie -- because Felicity Hoffman won. Will Win: Marcia Cross for creating the kind of suburban housewife every urban single already suspects is lurking outside the city limits—uptight, neurotic, and humorless.  How else could those people vote for George Bush? Actually, every urban single suspects that the typical suburban housewife is the Nancy Reagan-eque character played by Jessica Walters on "Arrested Development," while the typical Bush voter is her amoral husband (played by Jeffery Tambour), a Ken Lay-eque businessman whose financial shenanigans included trading with Saddam Hussein.  And that's why neither of them won, I guess. Best Variety Show Should Win: “Da Ali G Show.”  [...] Yes some episodes take shots at conservative icons but, here’s the kicker – they’re actually funny. No matter who Cohen is aiming at, humor comes before agenda.  Too bad the same can’t be said of the show that will win. Will Win: “The Daily Show.”  "The Daily Show" did win -- I guess the Academy did get the memo about how the agenda should come before humor when it was time to cast their votes for Best Variety Show. So, Megan ended up correctly predicting two winners out of seven -- proof that Hollywood hates conservatives, the flag, and everything that is good and decent. Join us next time when Megan predicts that Revenge of the Sith will win Best Picture because it bashes Bush. 3:46:08 AM

Um, Exactly Michelle Malkin: WHAT HAPPENED ON FLIGHT 17? (UPDATED: NO MISSILE, JUST BIRDS) A number of us in the blogosphere have been catching wind of rumors that a surface-to-air missile was fired at an America West flight originating out of New York. [...] Update: A government aviation official who asked me not to reveal her name says the "missile siting (sic) was [a] false alarm:" [...] Turned out to be nothing more than birds, and [a] big game of "telephone." Related: [...]  - And check out Annie Jacobsen's new book, Terror in the Skies: Why 9/11 Could Happen Again. 2:09:50 AM