March 13, 2005 by s.z.

Who Said It?

Our first Mystery Guest from last time (the one who said that the greatest nation on God's green earth was going to take a "stricken young woman" away from her family and kill her, presumably just because it hates the stricken) was Michael Medved.


A point to Brad R.


The guest on Michael's show (the one who waxed eloquent about how it's unconstitutional to refuse a feeding tube because living without a cerebral cortex in an inalienable right, meaning that you can't give it up) was Alan Keyes.


A point to Woodrowfan.  Also, a point to Yosef for being willing to share his title as America's Hottest Young Conservative on the Internets with Alan.


Our guest who claimed that she has nothing to write about, and her life is over is Ann Coulter (she was apparently pissed because she went to all the trouble of calling Helen Thomas an "old Arab," and yet  the average person still couldn't care less who Ann is.)


A point to john b.

And our last guest (the one who, presumably writing from experience, said that "Men have no control" was America's favorite junkie serial monogomist, Rush Limbaugh.


Another point to Brad R.


And a point to strooper for naming all of our Mystery Guests in one comment.


Remember, winners, to save your points, which can be exchanged for such cool prizes as Shoes of The Fisherman sandals, which you can use to leave religious message in the sand.  "Great for fundraising, beach evangelism and mission trips!"

Now, Who Said This?

1.  From a recent political memoir:

On September 14, 2001, Forty-second Street could have been Main Street in any midwestern community or a small southern town. The street was lined ten deep on both sides with people holding signs reading "God Bless America" and "God Save the U.S." But this was New York City, the place where I was born and where my father commuted almost every day of his working life.

So, all it takes is a couple of planes hitting buildings, and NYC shapes up and starts to look like a red state.

2.  From a political memoir by a different person:

This son of a president had seen firsthand how seeking the presidency would change his life, especially if he won. He was thinking it through, calculating its impact on the rest of his life. Many times, I thought he just might decide the cost was too high, though it had nothing to do with money.
“I’ll never again be able to just walk into Wal-Mart and buy fishing lures,” he said to me once, a telling little picture of the normal, often unappreciated things our nation’s presidents give up when they succeed at their ambition.

Just think, George gaving up buying fishing lures at Wal-Mart for us!  It's a story of sacrifice for others that we should all remember at this Easter time.

3.  From the weekly column of one of our favorite wingnuts: 

So why should you care that a bunch of overpaid men and women dissect each other in the halls of network TV news buildings? [...]

The problem is that the folks who set the agendas for TV news are not like you. In fact, many of them DON'T like you. You are groundlings, semi-barbarians who can't tell excellent sushi from the cheap stuff.

Thus, what matters to you is often ignored or slanted by the TV big shots. For example, radical Professor Ward Churchill, a traitor earning $92,000 at the University of Colorado, was all but ignored by the network evening news broadcasts.

And the Ward Churchill story matters to you because . . . ?

4.  From a NewsMax story about somebody's appearance on "Meet the Press":

So why would President Bush nominate him to be America's next U.N. ambassador? NBC's Russert queried

"Because John is a very good diplomat. He has a lot of experience in U.N. affairs," [...] replied.

Why then, Russert asked [...], is Bolton often less than diplomatic in his statements?

"Well, sometimes we all say undiplomatic things, but the key is that this is a very good diplomat," [...] said with a smile.

Yes, just because Bolton says undiplomatic things doesn't mean that he's not a good diplomat -- he's just differently-plomaticed. 

5. And because no controversy is complete with a movie star's opinion, here's a faxed statement:

 "I fully support the efforts of Mr. & Mrs. Schindler to save their daughter, Terri Schiavo, from a cruel starvation. Terri's husband should sign the care of his wife over to her parents so she can be properly cared for."

I'm sure we'll be hearing from Brent Bozell, Michael Medved, Laura Ingraham, and the usual gang of idiots about how we pay Hollywood to entertain us, not preach at us about their pet causes, so this star should just shut the hell up and get back to making action movies about crazed loners.

5:00:11 PM