The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

May 1, 2005 by s.z.


The Danger of Making Monsters


Randall Terry was bankrupt (financially, socially, and morally), and basically sidelined after he married his young assistant and left Operation Rescue.  But then the Schindler family contacted him, and brought him out of obscurity to help them garner publicity for their battle against Michael Schiavo.  Terri died, but Randall is still alive, walking by night, creating havoc, and terrorizing the villagers.  It's like Bart Simpson said in the Tree House of Horror ep about the brain-eating zombies: "I thought dabbling in the black arts would be good for a chuckle. How wrong I was."

Randall is now involving himself in the case of "L.G.," the thirteen-year-old girl whom Florida's Department of Children and Families is trying to prevent from getting an abortion.

Here's part of the letter which Terry sent to Jeb Bush (this copy courtesy of the media relations network run by the "culture of life's" Gary McCullough, but it's also been carried by such wingnut sources as MichNews, The Conservative VoiceChristian Underground, and quoted by such major media sources as Newsweek, the Miami Herald, and the Palm Beach Post):
Governor Bush, under no circumstances should LG's baby be killed by abortion. I am begging you to not allow a repeat of the Terry Schindler fiasco, which results in the death of another innocent person.
Who the heck is "Terry Schindler"? 

But I think you see what Terry's point is: just as Terri Schiavo shouldn't get to choose not to live without higher brain functions, L.G. shouldn't get to choose to abort her 13-week pregnancy.  Nope, somebody like Jeb should step in and decide what happens to these women (but only if he supports what Randall wants), because Randall and Jeb know what's best for them.  And since Jeb blew it last time by not sending in the National Guard to "rescue" Terri, Randall is giving him one more chance to redeem himself by forcing this girl to carry her baby to term.
Please Mr. Governor, use every means at your disposal to ensure that this innocent unborn child is brought to full-term, and delivered alive. Pro-abortion zealots at the ACLU and pro-abortion judges must not be allowed to snuff out the life of this unique human being.
Per Randally, each fertilized egg is a unique human being with all the rights guaranteed by the Constitution.  However, the women in whose bodies these unborn children reside are just a vessels, and have no rights.
Moreover, it is clear that LG is a deeply troubled young woman.
Yes, she most likely is (she was abused and neglected by her parents, who terminated all parental rights to her when she was about 7 -- she has been living in foster homes and state institutions ever since).  However, she sounded pretty sensible at the hearing.  Here's a quote from the Newsweek story about the case:
"Why can't I make my own decision?" she asked Palm Beach County Judge Ronald Alvarez at a hearing on Thursday. "What is it that you don't understand?"

Feisty and defiant, she appealed to his reason: "I don't think I should have the baby because I'm 13, I'm in a shelter and I can't get a job."
But, per Terry, if the girl is troubled, then she should be required to carry this child for another 6 months and then give birth, because that will be good for her mental health.
If she is permitted or pressured into having this abortion, it will be one more mountain of guilt that she will have to carry on her young back. This will be a horrifying, defining moment for her, which will bring no long term relief or solutions to her turbulent life, and will only compound her grief and the emotional crises she will face in the future.
Even though he's never met this girl, Terry knows what's best for her.  Yeah, he's only thinking of her welfare.

And instead of trying to fix a state agency which doesn't seem to be doing what it should for the born children in Florida (DCF keeps losing children, and let L.G. run away and get pregnant), Randall believes that the governor (and Randall himself) are doing God's work by instead focusing on the preborn.
For whatever reasons that Providence has permitted, the eyes of the nation continue to focus on life and death issues in Florida, and hence on you as our Governor. I pray that you will be a stalwart champion for life and justice, unflinching in the face of criticism, a man equal to the battles the lie before you.
Translation: "God screwed up and let you be governor instead of me, so I hope that you don't blow it again this time like you did in the Schiavo case, you wimp, and I pray that you will force this young girl to carry her pregnancy to term, so that you can prove to the pro-life extremists that you're one of us."
Please fight for this baby's life, and do not surrender this unborn child to the hands of his would-be slayers under any circumstances.
Meaning, I guess, that if the judge rules that the girl has the right to an abortion and DCF has no right to intervene, that Jeb should send the state police to "protect" the girl from the people who are trying to help her do what she and they think is best for her, and should lock the girl in prison (for her own good) until her baby is born.

And if Jeb does "surrender this unborn child to the hands of his would-be slayers," I guess that means that Terry will consider Jeb worthy of execution, just like Terry does abortion providers.  Yeah, Jeb, think of the doctors killed by Terry's associates, and choose your course wisely -- "live by the culture of life, die by the culture of life," as the Good Book says.

5:46:16 AM    



'Revelations' Report

Here's our "Revelations" update for the week:

Bill Pullman apparently didn't get killed last week (drat!), and the Greek doctor who cures him of falling cross syndrome tells him and Sister Jo that one of his colleagues recently treated Virgin Mary II, who was sent to a mental institution in Italy.  So, Bill and Sister Jo head off to Italy.

Bill and Sister Joe find the mother of the mystery child, and she's blonde and ethereal-looking, so Sister Joe now believes her when she says her baby is Jesus.  The mother also claims that some priests tried to repress her, so Bill and Sister Joe go to the Vatican to file a consumer complaint.

As they roam the streets of Rome, a devil car (an Audi, I think) tries to run them down.  Satan's Super models watch languidly from the sidelines. Bill pushes Sister Joe into a handy dress shop, and makes her don a sexy red frock.  
(He says it's because nun habits are so conspicuous, but that sounds bogus to me, since Rome should be crawling with nuns -- frankly, I think it was just to make her look secular and/or slutty.  So, I urge Sister Jo to listen to Sting when he sings, "You don't have to wear that dress tonight!")

Meanwhile, Bill's sorta step-son Hawk (not played by Avery Brooks) meets a teen cyber temptress and runs away with her.  Alas, she's a devil worshipper, and part of a group that plans to sacrifice Hawk, so he has to remain a virgin, meaning that their roll in the hay (or wheat or whatever it was in that grain car) was a chaste one.  (Don't you hate it when that happens?)  Fred Durst is also revealed to be a Satanist, although we already assumed as much, since he is, after all, a rock musician.

Meanwhile, Isaiah Haden, the imprisoned head Satanist, eats some of the brain-dead girl's hair (his lawyer brought it to him as a special treat), goes into a trance, and is able to project his consciousness into the girl's body.  While there, he sees the name of the convent (St. Terri's, I think it was), and so knows where the girl is being kept. 
(See, kids, this is the drawback to keeping the brain-dead alive: their bodies can be possessed by Satanists -- and probably by evil spirits too, since, as we learned on the program about exorcisms that preceded "Revelations," evil spirits are always possessing people and making them growl and vomit and stuff.)

Score for the Week: Evil - 2, Good - 0,  Stupidity - 5.
Be sure to tune in next week, which features Sean Hannity as Apollyon, the king of the man-faced, smoke and brimstone-spewing, horse locusts (see Rev.9: 7-11). 

(Okay, I don't know if the series will really get into the horse locusts, but I think it would be appropriate for Sean to play the angel of the bottomless pit.)

4:25:51 AM   

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