December 13, 2003 by s.z.

Won't Somebody Think of the Gerbils? Okay, I was at WorldNetDaily, reading such headlines as "Saudi Osama Backers Plan Christmas in U.S." and "What if Mary, Joseph Were Pro-choice?", and I came across this intriguing promo: Exposing the facts of homosexuality -- Exclusive: Dr. Brian Kopp shows power of telling truth about 'gay' lifestyle  So, I checked it out.  And yes, Dr. Brian J. Kopp, DPM (Doctor of Podiatric Medicine) writes how Father John Nesbella tried to tell the truth about the "gay lifestyle," but was slapped down by Catholic officialdom!  See, Father Nesbella organized the "Catholic Crusade to Defend Marriage and the Family," and this holy mission included distributing several thousand copies of the booklet The Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do to Catholic parishes in Pennsylvania. But the Father's diocese ordered him to stop distributing the pamphlet, claiming it borders on being discriminatory, pornographic and defamatory -- and if Father Nesbella continued to pass it out, he could get the diocese sued.  Kopp thinks this is a disgrace.  He says that since showing graphic photos of aborted babies helped get "partial-birth abortion" banned, Christian activists need to publicize the icky stuff homosexuals do, in order to protect marriage.  He urges lay Christians to keep distributing the pamphlet in order to preserve marriages and to compassionately show gays how their sex is disgusting.  And besides, the booklet is NOT all those bad things the diocese said it was.  Kopp quotes the author of the pamphlet, Dr. Paul Cameron (not a medical doctor -- he claims to be a psychologist with a Ph.D.), who dismisses the diocese's charges regarding his compassionate booklet: "The pamphlet is nothing more or less than a summary of scientific studies, thoroughly documented," Cameron said. "Facts don't discriminate. The material – which concentrates on diseases that proceed from homosexual behavior – is anything but pornographic. And it is absurd to suggest that you can defame homosexuals as a class, particularly when you are quoting scientific authorities." So, I  read the pamphlet.  Well, passed my eyes over it really quickly -- while it may not be pornographic, it's really gross.  Here's a relatively tame paragraph, just to give you the flavor (and once you have it, you can go rinse your mouth out with rubbing alcohol): The typical sexual practices of homosexuals are a medical horror story --imagine exchanging saliva, feces, semen and/or blood with dozens of different men each year. Imagine drinking urine, ingesting feces and experiencing rectal trauma on a regular basis. Often these encounters occur while the participants are drunk, high, and/or in an orgy setting. Further, many of them occur in extremely unsanitary places (bathrooms, dirty peep shows), or, because homosexuals travel so frequently, in other parts of the world. Anyway, the pamphlet sure seems to be all the diocese claimed.  And more, in that it's also a crock of that stuff which stupid people confuse with Shinola.  My favorite part: Tearing or ripping of the anal wall is especially likely with "fisting," where the hand and arm is inserted into the rectum. It is also common when "toys" are employed (homosexual lingo for objects which are inserted into the rectum--bottles, carrots, even gerbils (8). And when you check out footnote 8, you see it's 8. Cecil Adams, "The Straight Dope," THE READER (Chicago, 3/28/86) [Adams writes authoritatively on counter-culture material, his column is carried in many alternative newspapers across the U.S. and Canada]. Well, Cecil indeed writes authoritatively, but not so much on counter-culture material as on popular misconceptions and urban legends.  Let's see what he actually had to say when a reader wrote in, stating that a nurse friend claimed that a patient in her hospital has been admitted suffering from a rodentyrectum. Is it True What They Say About Gerbils "Insertion of foreign bodies into the rectum," as it is formally known, is by no means confined to gays. Many cases are ascribed to autoeroticism on the part of straights. Leaving aside victims of assault or accident, however, practitioners do have one thing in common: they're incredibly stupid. Rumors of gerbil (and mouse or hamster) stuffing have been circulating since about 1982. In 1984, a Denver weekly said it had a confirmed report of gerbilectomy in a local emergency room. The Manhattan publication New York Talk reported several years ago that New York doctors first caught on to stuffing when they started encountering patients with infections previously found only in rodents. But no such case has ever found its way into the formal literature of medicine. Having investigated the matter in some depth, I am inclined to write the whole thing off as an urban legend. A doctor and a nurse at the hospital to whom she appealed for corroboration of her story say they know nothing of any such case, although they had both heard about gerbil stuffing, the nurse from cops in the emergency room, the doctor at a medical meeting. That's pretty much the story all over. I have checked with numerous sources in both the gay and medical communities, and though everybody has heard about gerbil stuffing, every attempt to track down an actual case has come to naught. The whole business sounds completely nuts, and implausible to boot. Keep in mind, this is the "scientific study" which Cameron is referring to in his pamphlet, and Adams is one of the "scientific authorities" he claims to be quoting in his throughly documented piece of work. So, let me conclude with Kopp's message of cheer at the end of his column: Lay Catholic ministries in a dozen other states have already begun efforts to spread the "Catholic Crusade to Defend Marriage and the Family." They grasp the enormity and import of this battle, and do not fear expected opposition to distribution of "Medical Consequences of What Homosexuals Do" pamphlets or other similar resources 11:38:28 PM

comment []

My Twilight Zone Moment for Today Okay, A&E's "Poirot" had paused for a message from his sponsor, so I flipped up and down the dial, looking for something to entertain me for 3 or 4 minutes.  I ended up in "Scarborourgh Country," a wondrous land whose boundaries are those of paranoia and hate.  Anyway, the topic was apparently that Bush/Ridge plan to offer permanent residence status to illegal aliens who have proven themselves worthy of becoming legal by being very good maids, busboys, and agricultural workers.  The guests were an immigration lawyer named Kathleen Walker, and a guy named Jack Burkman (I never saw what his credentials were, but from the context of his comments I'm guessing he's either a Klan member or the late Barbara Olson's secret lover).  Scar said that he didn't think it was right to reward people for being criminals.  Kathleen said that these people worked hard for us, doing jobs that nobody else wanted, and it was only fair to offer them a way to become Americans.  Jack jumped in with, "They do our work?! Well, every day they should KISS THE DIRT of America, they SHOULD KISS THE DIRT for being allowed to do our work!"  Kathleen said that they probably did.  But Jack was having none of that, and shouted,"These are the people who KILLED MY FRIEND BARBARA OLSON!" Um, okay. Scar wrapped up the segment by saying that the plan was just Bush pandering to the Hispanics, ending with something like, "It will be the end of America when the day comes that we can only feed our labor needs through crime." So, Scarborourgh Country.  A scary place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.  Not for a trillion dollars. 2:26:02 AM

comment []

Red Leader, this is Team Leader And speaking of people who infiltrate the GOP in order to do nefarious things, I am a Team Leader for the RNC.  Well, I didn't MEAN to be one -- I just gave them my email address so they could send me their "Democratic Candidate Bingo" card (which they never did, BTW), and now I am provided with the following Benefits: Team Leaders get the inside scoop on what's going on at the Republican Party.  Each week you will receive an update, The Team Leader, about the latest stories, bills, and actions around the country. In addition to being given a "political edge" over the competition, you earn GOPoints for each Action Item completed. Action Items range from writing a letter to your editor to calling local voters and gauging public opinion. The GOPoints you earn can, in turn, be redeemed for collateral of your choice, ranging from leather PDA covers to folding chairs. There is no limit to what you can accomplish, or what you can earn. Wow, cool!  Being bribed is no longer just for congressmen!  And since my duties as Team Leader include recruiting people to join my cell . . . I mean, encouraging "participation in the political process by building your own Team of activists who you can share information with," I will now share with you the special message from the latest "Weekly Team Leader": Dear Republican, This week one of the Democratic presidential candidates sank to a new low. On Dec. 1, Gov. Howard Dean suggested on National Public Radio that President Bush knew the 9/11 attacks were coming and didn’t stop them.  After characterizing the theory he floated on NPR as “most interesting,” he then told Fox News Sunday that he doesn’t believe it. When asked about his comments at the recent debate in New Hampshire, he blamed others for misunderstanding his comments! Gov Dean’s latest comments highlight how reckless and irresponsible his public comments have become in this presidential race. His willingness to say anything, including things he does not believe, in an appeal for votes is an insult to voters, but they instinctively know that anyone who’s willing to demean the presidency in order to gain it is not worthy of having it entrusted to him. As Team Leaders you can help by writing letters to the editor, calling talk radio shows, talking to your friends. Take a stand against such reckless rhetoric and challenge Democrats to do the same. Sincerely, Okay, I'm taking a stand: Bush SHOULDN'T release the pre-9/11 intelligence to SSCI in order to disprove rumors that he knew about the attack in advance!  There, I said it, and I challenge you to do the same.  And if you happen to see this topic mentioned on talk shows, editors to the letter, and in five or more TownHall columns this week, well, everybody is just eager to earn that great Team Leader baseball cap. 1:51:44 AM

comment []

Old Young Conservatives  I'd like to present my latest Young Conservatives find, one Jan Ireland.  Okay, so she doesn't seem all that young.  I guess that's why they called her a "Special Guest Contributor," meaning that the youngsters had finals this week, so the editor had to recruit some Old Conservatives to contribute articles to fill up the space.  But she's just as much fun as any 18-year-old pundit.  Here, let me share with you a bit of her Young Conservatives column, which deals with those individuals who look like you and I, but are pure evil inside.  No, not, Commies or pod people. . . Meet the RINOs: Republicans in Name Only They are soldiers, though not in the conventional sense. Immediately identifiable, they are not. The façade is just like you, but they are really the enemy at the gate. Their speech, dress and mannerisms are yours. But something about them is false. Perhaps the way they go after the weak. Meet the RINOs. Republicans in name only. [snip]  In dress, speech and mannerisms – they could be you. They’re pleasant, in a deliberate way. They join in. They always turn up. Some hold office, go to conventions, and manage to be appointed as delegates for the group.  They look like us, they're pleasant, they join in, they always show up -- man, could they BE any more evil?  Yes, yes they could.  For they will encourage BIPARTISANSHIP!!! The weak among the group are the first to fall. RINOs, closely behind the victims they have maneuvered to the front, act as puppeteer. The weak, sure that they have found a friend and protector, succumb. What’s wrong with supporting just one democrat, one that’s really conservative; one that’s done so much for us; for the sake of bipartisanship. The answer is simple. The voting record. If the candidate holds our values, and supports our goals, he will be in our party.  [snip] RINOs no doubt are sitting in on 2004 strategy sessions as you read this.  It is this enemy that Republicans must identify and root out. They pose more of a danger than the most openly rabid partisan democrat.  Especially to the weak. I'm with Jan.  The GOP must conduct thorough and searching background checks of all its members, and expel anyone who doesn't seem properly rabid about the cause.  Names must be named.  Family members must be turned in.  In fact, nobody should even by allowed to VOTE Republican unless they can prove they're 100% loyal to the cause.  Otherwise, the Democrats win. [Tune in tomorrow for some more wisdom by Jan, from that other site of cool. hip, young political thought, Renew America, which is "Alan Keyes' grassroots headquarters. Its purpose is to faithfully and courageously advance the cause of our nation's Founders. The site is for ALL people who consider themselves loyal Americans." 1:19:15 AM