Do You Remember The Ep Where a Tipsy Laura Punched Out the Capable Mother For Giving Richie Dance Lessons? James Lileks talks about "The Dick Van Dyke Show":
Did that make you imagine THESE people playing Rob and Laura? If so, hang in there, because Friday, and another chapter of the adventures of America's Worst Mother (TM Tbogg Inc.) is coming. My prediction: young Euphrania will ask Mummy what botox is, and why John Kerry is using it; and Meghan will explain that when Democrats have alleged affairs with hot, young interns, they want to look like they don't have facial muscles. Oh, and Mummy will read some more wholesome bedtime stories to the kids, and Dubuque will confide that his life goal is to become an orphan like Oliver Twist, since the grub and living conditions seem so pleasant. ("Wow, they each got their own dish of gruel? Lucky ducks!") 6:16:56 AM  |
20 Questions
David's statement calls to mind an alternate version of It's a Wonderful Life, where George Bailey deals with the run on the Savings and Loan differently. In this version, instead of using his honeymoon funds to reassure people that the institution is solvent, George Bailey declares war on Bedford Falls and its stupid people. ("I don't have our money right here, Mr., Jones -- I spent it on arms and ammunition. But you say you want to make a withdrawal? Well, withdraw this!" George then takes out a machine gun and fires on the crowd. And as he shoots, he laughs maniacally and screams "It's a wonderful life, all right!") Anyway, the interrogation of Frum and Perle was conducted by Front Page's regular interviewer, Jamie Glazov. Jamie, as you might recall, is the guy who, instead of asking interviewees what their favorite tree is, asks them if it isn't true that liberals secretly are plotting with the trees to overthrow Bush, all because when they were in junior high, they didn't get invited to Marcie Peterson's party, and that hurt, it really hurt, and so they became all warped and twisted and stuff, and then projected their feelings onto other people. Jamie asks Perle:
Perle blames the French leadership and the French media, but doesn't really get around to explaining the French pathology for bedding monsters, or the kind of childhood experiences that would have caused the nation to not like us. And Jamie never asks Perle the date he sold his soul to Satan, or Frum if he's invented any new axis's lately (I personally think "The Axis of Bargains" would be a nice name for a strip mall), so the interview is pretty boring. Thus, to liven things up, here are a few favorite questions from past Glazov interviews.
Jaime interviewing Ann Coulter, who won't talk about the dark days of her childhood when everybody made fun of her love for Joe McCarthy, and her father ignored her because he always wanted a daughter. She also refuses to discuss getting fired by National Review for sexually harassing Jonah Goldberg. She does, however, reveal a scary fixation on Secretary of Transportation Norman Mineta. He should file a restraining order now, before it's too late. Now, guess who THIS question is directed at:
Yes, that's one of Jamie's question for Daniel Pipes, who answers that the Islamists are just today's fascist and communists, and that's all the psychoanalysis you need -- unless you're some kind of Islamofascistcommie yourself. And here's an exchange from an interview of B-1 Bob Dornan. (It's one of the best interviews ever, since Bob accuses his congressional opponent, Dana Rohrabacher, of being stupid, crazy, lazy, evil, and "marinated with terrorist money." Bob also claims that he was forced to run for public office again (even though he makes more way money than a congressman's salary with his radio show and MST3K residuals and such) because the parents of a dead B-1 pilot begged Bob to, since Dana is a nutjob and Bob is "a legend in the Air Force." The interview is just as good as Star Fighters, even without poopie suits!) Let me set up this clip for you. Bob is claiming that Dana has told a bunch of wild stories,like that he fought in Afghanistan. But the most dangerous of his whoppers is that he warned the White House about 9/11, because it makes it look like Dean was right when he said there were rumors to the effect that Bush knew about the attack ahead of time. And Dana is a Republican, so he shouldn't be helping the Dems this way!
All righty then. The whole party is morally and absolutely bankrupt because Dana said he warned the White House. Anyway, FrontPage asks for suggestions of who Jamie should interview in the future -- I think that Lyndon LaRouche would be right up Jamie's alley. He could ask him the intellectual journey that led him away from Marxism, and about the psychology of Queen Elizabeth's drug running. 3:21:14 AM |
Conservative Martyrdom on American Campuses From the National Review Online:
And that's my goal: to get linked to the mighty Instapundit, get a bunch of hits, and then have my mother write about me in the NRO. And then to have people get the "Can't Find the Web Site ceciledubois89.journalspace" message when they try to access my site. Anyway, Cecile's mom has an important message for teachers which they would do well to heed:
So, if you are a movie hero teacher and your students are Lulu and a bunch of other low class hooligans, then it's okay to teach them. But if they are conservatives, then teacher, leave them kids alone! And that brings us to some stories submitted by conservative World O'Crap readers who were crushed by our nation's schools. Since we don't believe in publishing unsigned letters here at W o'C, I have made up names for the writers. I've also added some biographical data for some of them. So basically, you could say that this column is fictional but not false. To start with, here's the story of two-headed, five-year-old Mikey Hannity, whose First AND Second Amendment rights were violated by the Ronald Reagan Elementary School:
Oh, and Mikey is a Christian, and so his Freedom of Religion was also violated by Ms. Johnson and the rest of the commies at the school. But since David Limbaugh is going to tell Mikey's story in his next bookPersecution 2: How American Christians Are the Most Picked On People In the World, we're sure that someday little Mikey will get justice. Now, here's the end of the story (the liberals got the rest) of a young man's encounter with a professor who not only persecuted conservative students in the classroom, but also tracked them down in lovers lanes and forced them to read Michael Moore books:
Mr. Riley's story points out something that the elite media press has been unwilling to tell you: that liberal Hollywood is an integral part of this plot to control the minds of our young people. As are gerbils. This next story is a very shocking one, which demonstrates the liberal bias in academia, and the destruction of morality which the Janet Jackson breast has inflicted on our culture.
I imagine that Steve will get invited to tell his story on "The O'Reilly Factor." And if he has photos, he'll probably get the whole hour in which to do it, Bill being really committed to exposing the truth about how liberal breasts are seeking to destroy America. Our next story shows how the campus liberals stamp out intellectual diversity and then try to crush dissent using the same methods the Khmer Rouge did. In fact, we have reports that Pol Pot didn't really die, but is instead serving as the Dean of Humanities at Duke University!
Sadly, I received word this evening that Discordia was killed in a traffic accident while traveling to the offices of the Department of Energy. Discordia was scheduled to give a statement on how the liberal university president was planning to steal fissionable material from Oakwood to sell to terrorists, in order to make up budget defects. I think we should all mourn the passing of this brave young American. This next story shows how the liberal curriculum damages the souls of our sensitive young conservatives, but also how, through grit, determination, and family connections, they can still suceed in making the free market work for them.
Wasn't that an inspiring story? I don't know what young George is doing now, but I wish him all the best as he continues to challenge the soft bigotry of high expectations. Our last story for today is one of the most shocking this blogger has ever read. We think a copy of it should be posted on every bulletin board on every campus in America, as a heart-rending reminder of the tyranny which conservative young people face these days, or whenever these events actually occurred..
After reading these stories, I'm sure you're as outraged as I am. I urge you to get together with your militia buddies and force your state legislature to pass David Horowitz's "Bill Of Academic Freedom From Scary Ideas." For rarely is the question asked, Is our children learning? And what is they learning? We must make sure that it's just not filth, perversion, and communism, for what a terrible thing it is to lose one's mind. Or to not have a mind. What a terrible waste that is. 1:50:12 AM |
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