January 4, 2004 by s.z.

Back to the Grind Andrew Sullivan is back from vacation; tanned, rested, and all caught up on his VH-1 viewing.  (His request for funds is still at the top of the page; be sure to donate, so that Andrew can, um, continue to take breaks to update himself on VH-1's "Ten Most Vacuous Celebrity Scandals"). Message for the day: I'm extremely leery of doctors in politics - right or left, they always veer toward the intolerant, dictatorial and secretive. Always.  You heard it first from Andrew.  10:31:00 PM

Britney Spears Wed; Not Allowed to Wear White Pop princess Britney Spears has tied the knot with a childhood friend, but an annulment may be just around the corner, US media reported today. The 22-year-old diva walked down the aisle at a Las Vegas wedding chapel early yesterday, the reports said, marrying Jason Alexander, also 22, a friend from her hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana whom she had recently begun dating. Spears wore jeans and a baseball cap, and was escorted down the aisle by a hotel bellman, according to People.com. But she is already making plans to annul the marriage, describing it as "a joke that went too far," one source told People. President Bush made a statement indicating that Britney has undermined the sanctity of marriage, and that he would back a constitutional amendment banning her. 6:32:02 AM

Do I Hear an Amen? Since it's the Sabbath, I thought you could use some religion, you sinners.  So, let's first hear from Pat Robertson (as linked from Pandagon, since Jesse and Ezra are both righteous dudes): "I think George Bush is going to win in a walk,'' the religious broadcaster said on his ``700 Club'' program on the Virginia Beach-based Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded. "I really believe I'm hearing from the Lord it's going to be like a blowout election in 2004. It's shaping up that way,'' Robertson said. Which is pretty cool, because I think this means that the Lord wants Bush to donate his war chest to the poor, and just trust in Him.  It would show Bush's faith AND would actually help some people.  If Bush doesn't do this, he is mocking God and no good Christian should ever support him again.  At least, that's what God told me. But now let's listen as Pat answers the question How Do I Know I Am Hearing a Word From God?: How annoying are the superspiritual who always say, "God told me this--God told me that--God told me this other." It seems that their every thought is a revelation from God. God does not customarily operate that way. He speaks to us, but He does not chatter away, day in and day out, the way some people claim He does. The Bible says that we can tell if someone is a prophet by seeing if what he has said comes to pass (see Deuteronomy 18:22). That is a very pragmatic test, and it works. You know, like if somebody predicted that Orlando would get wiped out by hurricanes if it continued to fly rainbow flags and allow "Gay Days" at Disney World, and then nothing happened, you'd know that this person wasn't really a prophet.  And so you'd vote for the other guy, because the Bible comes down pretty hard on people who follow false prophets.  Pat goes on to say that you have to "walk with God" in order to hear His voice; otherwise you might hear your own voice, or "be fooled by the voice of Satan," who sounds remarkably like Karl Rove, inside sources tell me. But let's see what fellow evangelist Jerry Falwell has to say about the political scene: It’s the responsibility of Christians to ensure that righteousness remains a priority for the nation. With America in a seemingly out-of-control moral breakdown, the key to a return to biblical values is for Christians to elect leaders who reflect the Judeo-Christian values of our Forefathers. In the coming crucial political year, I urge pastors to boldly inform their constituencies on the candidates who best reflect the values we hold dear. Would those be the same pastors about whom Pat provides this interesting tidbit? We understood that 45 percent of the pastors in America are hooked on pornography. With that being the case, are they really qualified to pass judgement on the values of the Presidential candidates?  Could it be that God is sick of being dragged into these matters, and just wants us to love our neighbors, live good lives, and use our own minds and hearts to decide who to vote for? Well, let's listen to one more authority, Religious Freedom Coalition Chairman William J. Murray.  Here he explains why Howard Dean's religious background shows that he's Too Mentally Unstable to Be President.   When Dean met his wife, Judith Steinberg, she was Jewish. He did not want to convert to Judaism and she did not want to become a Christian. Murray said Dean and his wife contemplated becoming Unitarians as a "compromise." "Compromise?" Murray questioned. "Unitarians do not believe in a living God." He added, "Most Unitarians are either agnostics or atheists and they surely do not believe in the deity of Jesus Christ." As for Dean's children, Murray said, "it gets worse." "The Deans told their children to pick a religion, any religion, and that they would not get involved in their decision one way or the other," Murray lamented. The two children subsequently chose to become Jewish. Dean himself parted ways with the Episcopal Church in the 1980's "over a dispute about the route of a public bike path through the church property," Murray wrote. "Excuse me? Now, I would leave a church if they ordained female deacons or recruited a homosexual music minister...but a bike path?," exclaimed Murray. And that's why you should consider anyone speaking as a religious authority who gives you voting instructions to be a false prophet, "which comes to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are as ravenous wolves."  And THAT comes from the Bible, which also says that you shouldn't vote for George Bush. 4:24:28 AM