January 16, 2004 by s.z.

She's Baa-ack! It appears that Sadly, No!'s sacrifices to the god Ba'al (and general acting out of the Sodom and Gomorra scenes from those '50s Biblical epics) has paid off, for his dream girl, Amber, is back at Men's News Daily(sure, she said that they were misogynists and meanies and she would never have anything to do with them again, but apparently it was just one of those lover's spats that end in wild passion and a renewed dedication to feminism bashing). I'll leave it to Seb to report fully on Amber's piece about how The Vagina Monologues furthers the feminist agenda of turning all women into lesbians, but I did want to share a couple of favorite passages:  Fifteen year-old girls should be blushing when around boys. Any talk of sex, even the simplest thing like holding a girl’s hand, should bring a rush of embarrassment, titillation, and excitement.  Presenting girls with such issues as lesbianism, rape, and in-your-face perversity will stop that. Clearly Amber comes to us from a century in which maidens got the vapors when racy subjects such as "holding hands" were discussed.  She further claims that young people absorb their enviroment like sponges, so if you expose them to material like the Vagina Monologues (which apparently actually SHOWS handholding), they will become "non-sensual, hardened, feminist-minded, thuggish creatures for the rest of their lives."  So, make sure your daughter never hears anything about the subject of rape, unless you WANT her to become thuggish.    The plays high school students should watch and produce should be intellectually stimulating ones that deal with issues about life –moral issues. They would be like, oh I don’t know, The West Side Story – the play the school board rejected because of Hispanic “racism” instead choosing The Vagina Monologues. Why would the school board reject this play and accept The Vagina Monologues? They’re perverts; that’s why. I'm glad we have THAT settled! Many young women come up to me and tell me they’re confused about their sexuality. They're just hitting on you Amber!  Avoid their temptations and remain pure and chaste for when your Roarkian Prince arrives.  Just don't be wearing that "Enjoy Cock" t-shirt when he shows up, because HE'S looking for a girl with undamaged goods.  Over to you, Sadly, No! 8:27:42 PM

comment [] trackback []

Read Today's 'Weekly Team Leader' and I Earn 5 More GoPoints Dear Republican, This year’s election is going to be close no matter who the Democrats pick as their nominee. One thing all the candidates have in common - they do not provide a positive vision for our country. They want to take us backwards, not forwards. They claim to be consistent in their positions, but they are not. They claim to have new ideas, but do not. [snip] We need leaders who have a positive vision, who will bring us forward. President Bush and Republicans are doing that every day. With the 2004 election primary season starting on Monday in Iowa and on Jan. 27 in New Hampshire, we need to double our efforts to make sure our entire Republican team is elected in November.  We need your help registering voters, calling talk radio and writing letters to the editor. I look forward to working hard with Team Leaders across the country. Together, we will unite America behind great leaders and important goals. Sincerely, You know, I thought about calling those radio shows and writing to that editor, because if it's going to be a close election this year, as Ed said, we must all do our part to ensure the vial Democrats are defeated.  But then I remembered that Pat Robertson said that God told him that Bush would win, no matter how many hits he ordered on disgruntled former cabinet members, and I figured that since God is on the job, I'm off the hook. Anyway, Team, remember Ed's message and try to get it into public consciousness: "While the Democrats want to take us backwards, not forward, President Bush and the Republicans will bring us forward, not backward.  And upward, not forward! And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!" 7:32:26 PM

comment [] trackback []

Mini TownHall Review "Mini" because stupid AOL crashed when I had the full review almost done but not saved, and I only had enough willpower to redo this much of it. Jonah Goldberg Bush isn't a liar, merely criminally incompetent. For Bush to have lied, he had to have known that there were no WMDs, right? It's not a lie unless you know the truth. If you say something you think is true that later turns out to be false, we don't call that a "lie," we call that a "mistake."  Charles Krauthammer People keep making fun of Bush's Space Plan, but they shouldn't, because it's actually way cool and not that expensive, when you consider infinity.  And besides, Krauthammer thought of it first.  Four years ago, I wrote an article ("On to Mars,'' The Weekly Standard, Jan. 31, 2000) advocating phasing out the space shuttle, abandoning the space station, establishing a moon base, and then eventually going on to Mars. It was greeted with yawns by those who noticed it at all.   Ollie North Ollie knows more about what went on in the National Security Council than Paul O'Neill, because Ollie's Fox News beat is soldiers, sailors, and marines.  And he knows more about fighting terrorism than Dr. Jeffrey Record because Abu Nidal tried to kill Ollie's wife and kids.  So, Ollie can dismiss both men's stories as "sour grapes" and the men themselves as "traitors" and get back to the sailors. Set aside for a moment the extraordinary circumstances that prompt former and current civil servants to savage their commander in chief in the midst of armed conflict.  Ann Coulter Ann is elevating the level of discourse again. Democrats are utterly unfazed by the fact that Clark is crazier than a March hare. They are so happy to have a pacifist in uniform, they ignore his Norman Bates moments.  And if anyone knows about Norman Bates moments, it would be Ann.  In fact, Scott and I have a theory to explain Ann's lack of legal knowledge, her Adam's apple, and her various reported dates of birth: yes, "Ann" is really a psychotic crossdresser murderer, like Michael Caine in Dressed to Kill!  "She" murdered the REAL Ann Coulter (an inoffensive law school grad), and took over her identity so she could wear miniskirts and be "attractive."  And "she" continues to kill anyone who gets too close to  her secret: make sure to lock your doors and windows tonight, for now you know too much! Anyway, I think our theory is more factual than "Ann's" Wesley Clark one.  Rich Lowry Marriage: your ticket to the middle class.  That is, if you consider "slightly above federal poverty guidelines" to be "middle class." Another excuse is that the men involved don't make enough money to support the mothers. But fathers of children born out of wedlock make, on average, $17,000 a year. According to Rector, if they were to marry the mothers of their children, 75 percent of the mothers would be lifted out of poverty. In roughly two-thirds of the cases, the mothers would be lifted out of poverty without even having to work themselves.  The poverty level is $18,400 for a family of four.  So, in the cases where the family sells all but one child, they can live a life of non-poverty on that $17,000 a year.  Mona Charen Mona really likes David Frum's and Richard Perle's book "An End to Evil," because it will "set the liberals' teeth on edge" -- see, Mona suffers from an ill-fitting pair of dentures, and she wants everybody to suffer like she does. But the greatest contribution of "An End to Evil" is its full-throated, passionate defense of the rightness of our cause. It is this more than anything else that will set liberals' teeth on edge. In the Islamists, the authors argue, we are facing the moral equivalent of the Nazis and communists. And that's it for this edition of TownHall Review.  Don't operate heavy machinery while using TownHall, and watch out for Ann Coulter when you're taking a shower. 8:04:45 AM

comment [] trackback []

Today's Marriage Message  This message brought to you as a Public Service Announcement, in support of the administration's plan to help couples develop the interpersonal skills that sustain healthy marriages, and keep people off welfare and heterosexual.  We may or may not get part of the 1.5 billion dollars for our training efforts. Today's lesson comes from the March 1950  Ladies' Home Journal "Making Marriage Work" column.  It deals with "The Triangle: A Growing Menace." The other woman, so familiar as a character in fiction, figures more and more prominently in modern life. . . . Married happiness can never be taken for granted.  The best safeguard against the influence of another woman is constant attention to the quality of your marriage.  You expect your husband to continue his efforts to advance in his field; similarly you should continue your efforts to improve in your job as housekeeper, mother, and wife.  In observing this general rule, check yourself on these specific points: *Watch your appearance.  Because men's jobs take them into the public eye, they are likely to be presentable a greater share of the time than are women.  "Dressing up" for special occasions isn't enough; it's at least as important to look your best at home.  An attractive wife at the breakfast table is severe competition for the pretty secretary across the desk. *Select your friends carefully.  Avoid any group, however fashionable, who seek their satisfactions outside marriage, than within. *Avoid temptation for yourself or your husband.  It's dangerous to yield to the impulse to confide in a masculine friend, no matter how understanding he may be.  And make sure that whenever hour husband needs a sympathetic listener, you are available to oblige. *Cultivate your capacity for companionship, for it is one of men's fundamental goals in marriage.  During courtship your husband thought of you as desirable companion.  Do you still give him reason to think so? It is easier to avoid a triangle than to destroy one.  Prevention is the best remedy.  If your marriage satisfies you both, then neither need fear a rival. So, there you have it: dress nice, don't hang out with mate swappers, don't talk to other men, and be a desirable companion.  And if that doesn't work, and your husband is enticed by another woman, shoot the bitch.  We hope learning these interpersonal skills will help you sustain your marriage. The next section of the column is about "environmental strains" on marriage.  It points out that you can be well suited for each other, and have the best communication skills in the world, but if you have "unsatisfactory housing" or "job difficulties" (or even worse, not having a job), these outside factors may "create tensions sufficiently disturbing to wreck the marriage."  It will be interesting to see the Bush Plan to address these issues.   4:26:06 AM

comment [] trackback []

A Paid Non-Political Announcement And speaking of mystery bloggers, you really should check out Sadly, No!  today.  Several important and serious matters are covered, but I have to say that my tastes run to items like Seb's coverage of the WorldNetDaily piece about "youth culture" (its the one titled "Never Mind the Pandas of Mass Destruction").  And Sadly, No! also gives us the latest manifestation of the "Besides That" Syndrome, an "Are You a NeoCon?" Quiz, "Living La Vida Pawlik (a search for meaning in an Amberless world), and a photo of a cool pretend car.  Disclaimer: I won my own cool car from Sadly, No! enterprises.  It's flame red with black contrast, and best of all, has a kind of moon roof thing that covers the entire top of the car -- yes, the front windshield, the back windshield, and the roof in between is all one piece, and you can take it off and the car becomes a convertible (I'm not sure if you're supposed to do that, but you can).  It's about an inch long by a half inch wide, so a little too small to actually drive, but you can race it across your computer desk and imagine that you are running down your enemies.  If you're me, that it is.  The moral of my story: if Sadly, No! offers contests with prizes, you should enter.  And if you don't win, you should cry and stuff, and maybe you'll get something anyway.    So, yes, I was bought off and now must do the bidding of Sadly, No! enterprises.  But you should still check out his site. 3:56:20 AM

comment [] trackback []

Blogger Mystery Date Here's a fun new game I just invented.  It's called Blogger Mystery Date.  If you can match each of these quotes from the past couple of days to the blogger who wrote it, you get to open the door to your Mystery Date.  So, let's start matching! Quotes 1.  Lieberman -- He's always reminded me of Fozzy Bear from the Muppets, particularly the way he pushes his whole torso out and laughs at his own jokes.  2.  HMM: AMSTERDAM, Netherlands — A recycling company found uranium oxide -- a radioactive material also known as yellowcake -- in a shipment of scrap steel it believes originally came from Iraq, the company said Thursday. It's kind of hard to come up with an innocent explanation for that. [My comment: Well, if Fox News says that a Dutch recycling company says that a Jordanian metal dealer told them that 2 pounds of purported yellowcake, which experts cited in the article say is not enough to be useful for a bomb or fuel, came from Iraq, then there really is no innocent explanation possible.] 3.  The cry goes round the chancelleries: "Where is [...]?" Busy trying to finish a long book review, that's where. (The book is Louis Crompton's Homosexuality and Civilization, the review is for the forthcoming issue of the excellent Claremont Review of Books.)  4.  What bothers me: George W. Bush was ridiculed for being out of it when he didnt know what Sex in the City was (really, information the president doesn't need to know), but one wonders if Howard Dean will get the same treatment--the last sitcom he remembers watching is All In The Family. He couldn't pretend to know The Bachelorette or Queer Eye. [My Comment: Who in the hell ridiculed Bush for not knowing what "Sex in the City" was?  I sure never heard about it.  Is is possible that he was actually ridiculed for not knowing what sex is?  Or cities?] 5.  The official kf Wishful Thinking position is that Kerry has peaked too soon! (And where's the opposition research on him, anyway?) ... The fallback Wishful Thinking position is that he still won't do well in New Hampshire because they know him. ...[If he wins N.H., you'll ... ?--ed. Come up with something!] ... P.S.: Of course the "larger question," as we pundits like to call it, is why we are giving candidate selection to a process that attracts only 6% of a state's voting age population? 6.  Fact: In the middle of a war against medieval-minded foes, we decided that we should also head back into space. We’re not going to close the borders, curl up under the covers. The right hand holds the sword, the left hand holds the sextant 7.  In what political watchers are calling possibly the biggest gaffe in years, former Vice President Al Gore is set to give a speech tomorrow on the perils of global warming -- on what is expected to be the coldest day in New England in nearly half a century!  Bloggers  A.  James Lileks B.  John Derbyshire C.  Matt Drudge D.  Jonah Goldberg E.  Mickey Kaus F.  Glenn Reynolds   G.  Kathryn Jean Lopez Okay, time is up: put down your pencils.  You can grade your own paper -- but remember, God is watching. Answers 1 -- D (Jonah) 2 -- F (Insta) 3 -- B (Derb) 4 -- G  (K.Lo) 5 -- E (Kaus) 6 -- A (Gnat's Dad) 7 -- C (Drudge) That was pretty easy, wasn't it?  So, are you ready for your Blogger Mystery Date?  Will he or she be a dream (ahhh!) or a dud (doh!)?  Well, let me give you a hint about your date.  He's not just a WorldNetDaily columnist and the author of a book, but he has a blog (not updated since the end of the year, alas) called Oklahoma Conservative.  Here's a quote from it from about a month ago: Well, I think it's about time to announce that I've done what I've wanted to do for four, long months. These four months have been, quite possibly, the most boring days in these 15 years. I've learned some good lessons: like how to put up with some very annoying people. Furthermore, I've observed the breeding ground for immorality and ignorance in this country. But I'm done with that now. After a semester of government school, I've dropped out. The only things I need to turn in now are my books.   Yes, your Blogger Mystery Date is none other than young Kyle Williams!  Have a nice time doing wholesome things together, like listening to Rush Limbaugh.  But remember, he hasn't had any sex ed, so don't bring him back pregnant or anything. 3:25:13 AM

comment [] trackback []

Andrew Sullivan: Underachiever, and Damned Proud of It Latest example: MY FEELING ENTIRELY: I spent a few seconds trying to figure out what exactly Paul O'Neill meant by saying that president Bush is like a blind man in a room of deaf people and then gave up. I mean, life is short, and all that. Leave it to Mike Kinsley to tease it out:. I'm sorry, but how is being uninterested in policy like being a blind man in a roomful of deaf people? Are blind people uninterested in policy? Or, more accurately, do blind people become less interested in policy when they find themselves in a room with deaf people? Does a blind man surrounded by deaf people talking policy issues think: "Oh, hell. These folks are going to go on and on and on about the problems of deaf people. Who needs that? I've got problems of my own." Is that O'Neill's point? And even if there is something about a room full of deaf people that makes a blind man disengage from policy issues, what does this have to do with President Bush and his Cabinet? LOL. SIGH.  Andrew, I realize that O'Neill's analogy requires a dab of intelligence to figure out, but is it really O'Neill's fault that you don't have any?  And while Kinsley's little exercise in deliberately missing the point is amusing, it didn't really teach you what O'Neill was trying to say, did it? But maybe a dramatization will help you understand: Scene: A meeting of the National Security Council.  Star Date: Spring 2001. Deaf Dick Cheney, using American Sign Language: "I think we should invade Iraq.  After all, they have lots of oil, and they might not share it with us in the future, thus negatively impacting on energy projections.  Plus, Saddam is big jerk, and I've never liked him." Deaf Condi Rice, also using ASL:  "Is it okay to invade countries just because their leaders are jerks and we want their oil?  Somehow, it seems kind of . . . wrong.  But I'll support whatever the President says." Everyone turns to look at Blind George Bush, who being blind, has missed the whole ASL conversation.  His sightless eyes continue to gaze at nothing, and he doesn't realize everyone is waiting for a response from him.  This pause lasts for several minutes. Karl Rove signs: "A military victory would be very advantageous, politically.  We could conquer Iraq in a couple of days, right?  Maybe via remote control, so it doesn't get messy or anything? Deaf Don Rumsfeld signs: "Sure thing.  We can wump their asses and be home for lunch, without a single U.S. casuality.  Because our hearts are pure.  Mr. Commander-in-Chief, do you want me to start making invasion plans?" As before, they all wait for a response from George, but get none.  Karl Rove signs: "Yeah, make some plans, Don.  I am liking this conquering hero idea more and more.  George could wear a snappy uniform, maybe with epaulettes, and we can take pictures of him in front of victory banners and use them for the 2004 campaign.  I'll get the writers started on the Freedom Speeches." Deaf Colin Powell signs: "I think this is a really bad idea, and I want no part of it." Karl Roves signs: "The President does not like your attitude, Colin.  You are kicked out of this meeting." Colin signs: "You're not the boss of me, Karl!  I'm not going unless the President tells me so himself!  Mr. President, do YOU want me to leave?" Once again, everybody turns to George, waiting for him to say something or give them some sign as to his wishes.  He continues to gaze blindly at them, since he's blind, and to pay no attention to their queries. After a few minutes, he starts to hum "I Am a Woman in Love."  The group can see his lips twitch, but have no idea what he's trying to communicate to them. Karl Rove signs: "See, Colin: the President doesn't want you at these meetings unless you can be more supportive of him.  And Condi, he would like you come up with intelligence showing that Saddam poses a major threat to our country's security; that way, the people will have to support our invasion.  And Dick, the President says that you can be acting President for the week because he has some stuff to do, but you shouldn't talk to the media anymore, because you sound crazy.  Meeting adjourned." Deaf Paul O'Neill signs: "But can we afford a war, what with that growing deficit, which is becoming like a black hole, and will soon suck all matter, and perhaps time itself, into it?" Karl signs impatiently: "Are you deaf, Paul?  The President said we were adjourned!  You are such a loser!" They all leave.  George sits there alone, happily singing "If You Think I'm Sexy."  He suddenly stops, puts a serious expression on his face, and addresses the empty room  Blind George Bush: "You're probably wondering why I gathered you all together.  Well, it's to tell you that KARL is the murderer!  Ha ha, I always wanted to say that, and the fact that Karl killed that hooker gives me a good excuse.  No, I really called this meeting because I want to give a tax cut to the middle-class this time, because they seem like nice enough people.  Make it so, O'Neill.  And Dick, stop sleeping with my wife or I'll have Rummy kill you!"  He then goes back to the Oval Office to read his Braille comic books.  The End. I hope that helped, Andrew. 12:03:11 AM