The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

January 29, 2004 by s.z.


The Passion!


No, not the Mel Gibson movie The Passion of Jesus: Payback Time! but an essay about The Passion of Rush Limbaugh (it's similar to Mel's movie, in that it deals with a man-God who is crucified by the liberals; but different, in that it's not in Aramaic, as far as I can tell).  Rush really liked it, reproducing it on his site, and noting:
[M]y brother sent me a note, along with seven or eight other people saying you will not believe this post on Free Republic about you. I went there and read it. I was rendered silent and speechless. It blew me away.
To have somebody take the time not just to write it, but to even think and feel that is overwhelming to me. At the end of Wednesday's program, Chris Davis called in and I thanked him personally by making him a member of Rush 24/7 and giving him a few items from the EIB Store.
If only Rush could pay Roy Black in Rush memorabilia. . .

Anyway, "The Passion" should probably be read in its entirety, but here are a few of my favorite bits:
Rush Limbaugh is "The Passion" 
by Chris Davis as posted on Free Republic.com  
Make no mistake. Rush Limbaugh is “The Passion.” He is the passion of conservatism, the very pulse, bounding through the veins of the nation. He produces life with every heartbeat of his show as he scoffs at liberals and gives us his interpretation of conservative truth. 
Well, to go along with "the Passion" theme, and the "producing life" hyperbole, shouldn't Rush be a "penis" rather than a "heart"?
With resounding conviction, he echoes the sentiments of the Founding Fathers, evoking the wrath of those who oppose him. “The Passion.” His passion forces him to carry the torch of liberty and justice, inflicting backlash, lies, and corruption at his doorstep.
I admire Chris's honesty: not many adoring fanboys would admit that Rush inflicts blacklash, lies, and corruption.
Mildly he sits and passes on his message, his passion, his views, his legacy.   A legacy of truth, justice, and the conservative American way.  He hands his gift down day after day, show after show.  He will live as one of the greatest men in conservative history correct 98.4% of the time.  
[snip]
Last night, his attorney, Roy Black, was filled with “The Passion.” Filled so full that it seemed as if Rush himself were sitting there screaming the answers, “I DID NOT DO THIS!”
I was enthralled. I was overjoyed. I felt giddy, like a kid in a candy store. I knew for the first time in months as if justice had taken a direct blow to the lies and corruption creeping into Rush Limbaugh’s life.
[snip]
I  know you’re saying I’m crazy. I know you’re telling me to check myself into therapy, but it’s true. I can’t help it. I can’t help but applaud a man with this many medical conditions going on day after day after day after day, executing liberal lies with impunity. I have too much respect and admiration for the man that put his own show ahead of pain, pushing himself into addiction and blackmail. Too much admiration for the man that removed the disease, the man that removed liberalism.  
Dude, it's the drugs talking.  Just say "no," get a life, and don't believe everything you see on TV. 

I caught that same Roy Black interview on Hannity and Whatever that Chris apparently saw.  And while it was great lawyering, it was mighty short on facts.  In case you missed it, let me recount for you the NEW "Rush Limbaugh, Martyr for the Conservative Cause" story:

Rush had that coccyx trouble and some other rear end problems, and was prescribed highly addictive drugs, which addicted him.  He was in incredible pain, and so needed very large doses of the drugs.  Despite what he said on his show when he was fresh from rehab and under the influence of that liberal AA program (with it's legally unsound advice to be "honest" about one's powerlessness over drugs and such), he did not use drugs for the good feelings he got from them.  No, only for the pain. 

Sure, medical sources such as NIDA INFOFAX: Pain Medications may tell you that "Addiction to opioids used for legitimate medical purposes under a qualified physician's care is rare."  And that while it's possible for patients using OxyContin for pain relief to become habituated and need larger doses, such patients won't become addicted because they aren't experiencing any euphoric effects at the dosage level which will handle pain.  But don't believe them, believe Roy Black.  Rush only became an addict to deal with his excruciating pain, and he needed 100s of pills a day to handle it, and OxyContin was the only drug which could do the job, even though he's doing just fine on Vioxx now. 

Anyway, Rush had this horrible pain, and so got multiple prescriptions from various doctors, who were aware of his other prescriptions, as far as you know.  The doctors WANTED him to have a boat load of pain killers, because it was medically necessary.  To deal with the pain, you see.  And of course, you should assume, although Roy isn't saying it, that Rush never got drugs from any ILLEGAL sources, because that would be a crime.  And Rush isn't a criminal.

So, Rush did nothing wrong!  He did not doctor shop!  He was not involved with a drug ring.  He was not a recreational drug user.  He was a poor unfortunate who HAD to take lots of drugs to deal with his pain.  And he did it for YOU, the Dittohead. 

But Rush had this evil housekeeper who found out that he was addicted to pain killers, and she used that information to blackmail him.  She threatened to tell the Enquirer about his addiction unless he paid her $3 million.  Oh, and her husband has a cocaine trafficking conviction, so you KNOW that the couple are both scum.  (While you might think that the husband's drug connections tend to corroborate the couple's story about procuring drugs for Rush, don't even think of that part!  They didn't, okay!)

Rush paid the evil witch and her criminal husband lots of money, until he finally had had enough and said, "Do your worst!."  And so she went to the authorities and made a deal that gave her immunity.  IMMUNITY for blackmail!  And for whatever else she did which was criminal, but doesn't involve Rush.  And then she sold her story to the Enquirer.  SOLD it!  So you know it can't be true.

And the REAL story is how the liberal county of Palm Beach is persecuting Rush because of his "minority beliefs."  The Democrats are trying to get Rush off the air in this critical election year, and they are using unfair and illegal tactics to do it.  Like seizing his medical records with just a search warrant.  Don't we WANT addicts to seek help from doctors?  How can we expect them to ever get the help they need if they know their records are going to be impounded and they are going to prosecuted just for being addicts.  Even though that's not what Rush is being investigated for.

And how would YOU like if your medical records were seized and leaked to the media?  There could be all kind of embarrassing stuff in those medical records, couldn't there?  And if this line of reasoning makes you think that Rush had an STD that he's trying to conceal, you're just a pervert and should be ashamed of yourself. 
So, the authorities are pursuing trumped-up charges.  As if Rush was ever involved in a "drug ring" (even though there apparently is evidence of him giving his housekeeper money to buy drugs for him, which would pretty much put him in the middle of a drug ring)!  And "money laundering"?  Pah!  All he did was withdraw his OWN money from the bank.  Is that a crime?  Well, I guess it is, when you structure your withdrawals to avoid meeting reporting thresholds, but that's not what's important here!  It's about how the Palm Beach authorities are persecuting Rush by investigating him for drug-related offenses, when OTHER celebrities get to be addicts all the time and nothing happens to them.  Well, sure, some of them get prison terms and stuff, like Robert Downey, Jr., but he's not the one Roy is thinking of.

And in conclusion, "Addicts should be treated, not jailed."  Thank you.

Anyway, that's the new Rush story.  Back to Chris to wrap things up:
Liberalism was planted deep within me, as if it were a parasite feeding on me. Rush cut it out like a surgeon excising a cancerous tumor, giving me the opportunity to experience life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. He gave me the chance of a lifetime. The “lone beacon of opposition” handed me a certainty, a guarantee no person had ever given me before. No, he didn’t come to Texas and brainwash me. He presented his case like he does every single day-clearly, concisely and effectively, planting the seed of common sense in my brain. By sowing that seed, he also gave me hope, happiness, and “The Passion.” 
The Passion” to live life, to succeed again and again, and to not feel guilty about creating wealth. [snip]

With Rush on the radio, I continue to conquer day after day, living in conservative principles, consumed with the fiery notion of my new life. I rebuke liberalism with special thanks to my educator. I love the life I have earned, as I pursue success after success, and eagerly wait another broadcast day of “The Passion.” 
 
"The Passion."  Nothing weird about referring to Rush and his program that way.  Nothing at all.

5:00:30 AM    



You Asked for It!

Yes, at "You Asked for It!" we scan the globe to bring you answers to your most difficult questions, helpful solutions to your troublesome problems, and scary photos in response to your smart remarks in the comments section

Yesterday youngish Seb of Sadly, No! said that instead of the question Ben Shapiro brought up (see below), he wanted someone to address "Ann Coulter: Man or Woman?"

I think this recent photo will help to clear things up (while the hands are obscured by the podium, note the throat area). 

And in other Ann news, she used her recent column (such as it is) and an appearance on Hannity and Whosit to call John Kerry a "gigolo."
But if Bush can't talk to Kerry about the horrors of war, then Kerry sure as hell can't talk to anyone about the plight of the middle class.  Kerry's life experience consists of living off other men's money by marrying their wives and daughters. For over 30 years, Kerry's primary occupation has been stalking lonely heiresses.  
But if we're going to determine fitness for office based on life experience, Kerry clearly has no experience dealing with problems of typical Americans since he is a cad and a gigolo living in the lap of other men's money.
Kerry is like some character in a Balzac novel, an adventurer twirling the end of his mustache and preying on rich women.
Per Newsmax:
Moments later, when Alan Colmes complained that Coulter's description of Kerry's finances was "mean," she responded, "Nobody has contested me on the facts, I notice."
Hey, let's not bother with facts!  Let's just go for character assassination, starting with Ann's!  But Ann has so little character, it would be like shooting a gerbil with an elephant gun.  So, instead we bring you these interesting, um, facts from Media Transparency:
[EDITOR'S NOTE: Ann Coulter, who recently imploded in print, is nearly a complete product of the conservative philanthropies, having worked for or received funds from no fewer than six of their funded institutions. She was recently fired from her job as columnist for the National Review Online after she advised that the US conquer Muslim countries and convert them to Christianity.
In college she benefited from funds from the Collegiate Network - funded by Richard Mellon Scaife. She trained at the National Journalism Center, which itself is connected to the Young America's Foundation, and run by the conservative philanthropy funded columnist M. Stanton Evans. She founded a chapter of the Federalist Society at the University of Michigan Law School, and later worked for former Michigan Senator Spencer Abraham, himself deeply involved with the Federalist Society.
So, if Kerry is a "gigolo," then it's pretty obvious that Ann is a "whore," and isn't fit to address decent people about anybody else's fitness for anything. 

Next time: we note how funny it is that Ann said, "Physical courage, like chastity, is something liberals usually deride," in light of her remark on Rivera Live: "Let's say I go out every night, I meet a guy and have sex with him. Good for me, I'm not married." 

Chastity is apparently for the little conservatives. 

2:56:27 AM    
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Well, Maybe It's Not BOGUS, But It's Not Credible, Because You'd Have to Believe This Administration is STUPID, or Something

Glenn Reynolds updates us on the Affair of the Senior Administration Officials Who Committed a Felony:
PLAME UPDATE: Well, it's more of a further thought than an update. But the weakest part of the Plame "scandal" has always been the idea that someone in the White House, like, say, Karl Rove, would try to get back at Joseph Wilson by outing his wife as an intelligence agent. Even if they knew that she was a covert agent (and if she were really secret, they shouldn't have), deliberately outing a spy for trivial political payback purposes would just be too unimaginably stupid.
So, Karl Rove (or someone much like him) couldn't have deliberately blown Plame's cover to hurt Wilson, because Rove wouldn't have known she was under cover, since nobody trusts him with any really secret information.  And if he DID know she was a covert CIA officer, then she wasn't all that covert, so the matter IS bogus, like Glenn said before.  But assuming that she really was a NOC (like everybody in the know has said), and that Karl (or somebody much like him) vindictively outed her "for trivial political payback purposes," it would be "too unimaginably stupid," because we can't imagine anyone in the Bush administration doing anything really stupid.

We then turn to the old adage, "Never attribute to malice what can be explained by stupidity."  Since we can't attribute the leak to either malice or stupidity, it never happened.  It wasn't bogus, it was a figment of everyone's imaginations, and we can now move to more important matters, like why Mickey Kaus can't stand John Kerry.

This update brought to you by the "Plame scandal?  La, la, la, I can't hear you!" department.

Now, from the "For What It's Worth" Department, I don't believe the senior administration official who leaked Plame's CIA association did it to in order to "get back" at Wilson.  I think he did it to discredit Wilson and his message that faulty intelligence was used (perhaps knowingly) in last year's SOTU address. 

But motive isn't an element of the crime (as a lawyer like Reynolds would know).  Obviously, the SAO knew that Plame was a CIA officer.  I think it's reasonable to assume that since he knew of Plame's covert CIA employment, he also knew that this  CIA association WAS covert, having learned it either from his official duties or from another person who knew of it from HIS official duties.  The SAO knew that Novak wasn't authorized to receive classified information.  So, the SAO committed a crime under The Intelligence Identities Protection Act, and a sentence of "not more than 5 years" seems appropriate.  At least, that's what I think.  And my opinion is more informed than Glenn's, if I do say so myself.

12:43:25 AM    



The Best Explanation Yet!

Why did Kerry defeat Dean in New Hampshire?  Because his support tends to come from the 18 to 29-year-olds, and there are less of them than voters in the other age groups.  This brings up the next question . . .
Why so few young voters? Part of it, of course, is that younger adults tend not to show up at the polls. But part of it as well, as we noted last week, is that they tend not to exist. That's right, Dean once again has fallen victim to the Roe effect.
Yup.  Many of Dean's supporters were aborted.  That's why he lost.  And it's like, really ironic, because he supports abortion!  And, of course, the young Republicans didn't get aborted (helas!, to use a snooty French term), and so this "Roe effect" only hurts Dean.
Because the two political parties have become polarized on abortion, it seems reasonable to assume that more potential Democrats than potential Republicans have been aborted. After all, their would-have-been mothers show through their actions that they agree with the Democratic position on the issue. Result: fewer younger voters in Democratic primaries, as we saw last night, and probably a boost for Republican candidates in the general election. 
This brilliant political commentary comes to you from James Taranto, who also wishes to remind you that John Kerry is that "haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrat."  Commenter Steve wishes to remind you that, "Taranto is not a real person. He's an amalgam of discarded chewing gum, waxed paper and lard. In his spare time he retires to the barn to paint the horses and shoot at the neighbors with his BB gun. He is a bump in the road, a petty annoyance, a fat ball of tangled and useless string soon to be forgotten in a political junk drawer."   

12:31:11 AM

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