December 9, 2003 by s.z.

Holiday Gift Ideas Oh, and in case you're having trouble finding appropriate presents for everyone on your list, Thomas "Kidney for Sale" Sowell has a suggestion: You don't have to know someone's measurements to buy a book, nor does it have to match their current wardrobe or fit in with the decor of their home. One size may not fit all but there is a right book for everybody from two years old to ninety-two. [snip] If you like take-no-prisoners attacks against the political left, three new books of this sort are "Treason" by Ann Coulter, "Scam" by Jesse Lee Peterson and "When I Was a Kid, This Was a Free Country" by G. Gordon Liddy.  These are books with devastating facts and penetrating analysis, as well as verbal fireworks.  So, I'm giving Treason to my two-year-old nephew, Scam to my 92-year-old grandmother, and When I Was a Kid, This Was a Free Country to those Secret Service people who found threats to the President in that unreleased Eminem song, 'cause I think they'll find it of interest.  All my giftees should be pleased with the devastating facts contained in these tomes (you know, like the page numbers, copyright dates, and Library of Congress numbers);  the verbal fireworks will no doubt light up their lives and warm their hearts, just like a Debby Boone song. Oh, and coincidentally, Thomas has a new book out that would make a great gift for college students and street people in need of advice on getting the best prices for blood and organs!  It's called Applied Economics: Thinking Beyond Stage One, and was just recommended by that esteemed economist Sean Hannity.  I'd review it, but I hear that Sowell's groupies called Glenn Beck's fans "pussies," and I don't want them having their rumble here. 5:13:39 AM

Blog Celebrity Justice Once again, the Blog Spot blogs seem to be out of commission, probably because martial law was declared.  So, I appoint myself the Leader of the Resistance for the duration of this crisis.  I'm here to name names and kick butt.  And I'm all outta kick.  So, let's start by naming Adam Yoshida, that college-aged Canadian fire-breather whom TBOGG lined up with Ann Coulter.  Well, it seems that young Adam is a tad annoyed that war protesters are allowed to live, and thinks we may need to declare martial law in order to keep these traitors from wearing anti-war buttons in public.  And if that doesn't work, then we shoot 'em, like they did during the Revolutionary War. The ever-viligant Jesse at Pandagon.net, seeing what Adam was up to, emailed Adam's mentor, the dynamic Instapundit.  Um, the story does not end with Adam being grounded and not allowed to play any violent video games for a month, so I can't say that justice was served. Go see Jesse for . . .the rest of the story. (Okay, the Blog Spot blogs have back online now -- apparently my threat of naming butts was enough to restore order.) And thus we can name some more names.  So, remember the name  Andrew Sullivan?  Yes, the one who is doing some fund-raising at his site, since he apparently blew the $80,000 he got last year on designer bandwidth and George Bush dolls.  (Well, he DOES work round the clock, night and day, to provide content for his site, so it's only fair he be compensated --  those articles aren't going to cut and paste themselves, you know.)  Well, if all this sounds new to you, see Pandagon.net and TBOGG for the details.  Anyway, I don't know if that's what inspired the musings, but The Rittenhouse Review has a very nice piece providing possible answers to the question, "What is the easiest job in the world."  Jim suggests pharmacist -- and it's true that store pharmacists seem to have little to do in this era of pharmacy techs and pill-counting machines.  (The prescription for my meds is for 100 pills, and they come from the manufacturer in bottles of 100, so all the pharmacy tech has to do is put a label on the bottle and take my money, leaving the pharmacist free to keep an eye out for Rush Limbaugh and Noelle Bush.)  Jim considers other possiblilites, and then finds the easiest job was right there on the pages of the Style section all the time!  However, back to Andrew.  Jesse mentions that Andrew wants to hire a "letters editor" (which is one reason he needs more money).  The job would apparently involve reading the letters that are sent to Andrew, and posting some of them on his site.  THAT's the job I want. And now back to The Rittenhouse Review -- Jim reports that he was mugged last night!  I think we should consider bringing young "The right to ‘dissent’ is the right to remain silent" Yoshida in for a little chat.  Anyway, we're sorry to hear this happened to Jim, and hope that he gets a new drivers license without it being too big of a headache. Oh, and in other news, Sadly, No! has been mentioned in The Corner by the Great and Powerful Norb, who is helping to spread the word about the Pornographic Stick Figure Captioning Contest (there's still time to enter)!  This is quite an honor, and probably a sign that Norb's forgotten all about what happened summer . . . (Which reminds me of one of my favorite Troy McClure movie titles: Suddenly, Last Supper!)  And Opinions You Should Have provides the White House response to John's Kerry's attempt to appear "hip" and "bad" to Rolling Stone readers by using language inappropriate for a presidential candidate.  It also names names and kicks butt. Note: This blog contacted the White House Action Program (WAP), which rates all magazine articles on Biblical Standards of Crime, Impudence, Sex, Drugs/Alcohol, Murder, and Offense to Bush.  Since Kerry reportedly used "the foulest of the foul" words in this interview, he is automatically going to hell, but we wondered what else WAP could tell us about Kerry's many other ignominies.  But it will have to wait until tomorrow, because I'm really tired now.  Court is in recess. 4:49:25 AM

Misusing the Public Trust Fried Green al-Qaedas has an interesting look at that study on terrorism prosecutions.  You know, the one that showed that while 6,400 people were arrested (or otherwise referred for prosecution) on charges involving terror since 9/11, only a third of them were charged, and only 879 were convicted.  The average sentence for those convicted was 15 days; only five people got sentences of 20 year or more.  Per the NY Times, DOJ and FBI officials say that their goal is to stop the terrorists before they actually inspire any terror, and so they pick them up for lesser offenses, such as identity theft, document fraud and immigration violations.  However, since "Nearly every time Ashcroft talks about the subject, he reads a long list of statistics on arrests and convictions to buttress his contention that great progress is being made," some critics think that Ashcroft has been overstating the success of anti-terrorism efforts.  Maybe to reassure a panicky nation, or maybe to scare people into thinking that there are terrorist everywhere and the only thing keeping you alive is John Ashcroft.  (Like how Ann Coulter said that Homeland Security told her that only their efforts prevented a dirty bomb from being detonated in New York Harbor.) In any case, some people aren't pleased with the numbers, despite the DOJ/FBI rationale. `This punches a huge hole in the hype the Justice Department has been engaged in,'' said Timothy Edgar, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. ` `They are calling people terrorists, on a massive scale, who aren't terrorists.'' I agree.  While I think it's a very good idea to try to stop terrorists before they kill anybody, I find it very hard to believe that all the people cited in the report who were picked up for identity theft or immigration violations really WERE part of a terrorism effort.  Just like I find it hard to believe that there really was an organized al-Qaeda espionage ring at Guantanamo.  We haven't heard much about that ring for a while -- but just a couple months ago the Moonie Times and various right-wing pundits (Mona, I'm talkin' to you!) could speak of little else.  The only news lately is that the biggest charges being brought against the infamous "spying chaplain" are improperly transporting classified information, downloading porn, and having an affair (Case Against Ex-Chaplain Opens Focusing on Affair). Captain Yee was arrested on Sept. 10 at the Naval Air Station in Jacksonville, Fla., on suspicion of espionage after customs inspectors found papers in his luggage that they said were suspicious and might have contained classified information.  He was charged with an offense far less serious than espionage, transporting classified information without a required secure container, at the time and confined in solitary in a naval brig for nearly three months while the military completed its investigation. When the investigation was finished last month and he was released, the military's new charges involved keeping pornography on his government computer and having an extramarital affair, both violations of the Military Code of Justice. The military does not contend that either of those offenses is related to any security breaches but that they were violations discovered in the course of the investigation. But Captain Yee's civilian defense lawyer, Eugene R. Fidell, has said the charges were added vindictively as part of an effort to cover up the military's mistake and overreaction.   Army officials said there had been about 60 cases of adultery prosecuted in the last two years, always as part of some larger set of criminal charges, like rape. The military, in guidelines to commanders, suggests that adultery is principally a problem when it affects discipline and order as in cases where it involves people who are in a subordinate-commander relationship. The court also heard testimony from law enforcement officials at Jacksonville who detained Captain Yee on Sept. 10. One, Sean Rafferty, a customs inspector, testified by telephone hookup that he had been told in advance to scrutinize Captain Yee when he got off the flight from Jacksonville because he might be carrying classified information. Mr. Fidell, Mr. Yee's lawyer, said such testimony showed that the discovery of any suspicious papers was not a result of a random search.  Captain Yee's friends have suggested that the authorities at Guantánamo resented him because of the way he ministered to and looked out for the interests of the mostly Muslim prison population there. Yes, the discovery of the papers clearly wasn't the result of a random act: presumably, Army security officials had been watching Yee for some time, suspected he might be taking out classified information, and tipped off Customs so that he would be picked up before the information he carried could be misused (if that's what he had in mind).  But the authorities probably weren't resentful of him; more like, really suspicious because of the way he "ministered to and looked out for the interests of the mostly Muslim prison population."  Security people are always suspicious of this kind of thing; but now, with the current hysterial about Muslims, this suspicion would be even stronger. While looking closely at those who interact with the prisoners isn't a bad thing, arresting people for espionage without sufficient evidence is.  If malicious prosecution is involved, that would be really bad too.  And the rush by some members of congress and some parts of the media to hysterialize about the dangers posed by having those untrustworthy Muslims in the military was really, REALLY bad.   Since 9/11 there has been a continual problem with elements of the press and numerous goverment officials overplaying terrorism threats, and then, when the threat is proved to have been exaggerated, failing to admit it.  Okay, we understand that nobody wants to be the one who didn't tell the public about a possible danger, but more and more, it's looking like our officials are trying to scare America for ignoble reasons, like justifying their own jobs, power and authorities.  Or drumming up support for that "war against terrorism."  I don't know about anybody else, but I really don't appreciate being manipulated.  George, I'm talkin' to YOU now 3:05:05 AM

I Never Needed Anybody's Permission Not to Care And here's Sam Smith, writing for Newsmax on Why You Don't Have to Care About Michael Jackson.  Or Bill O'Reilly: Jackson sold 47 million copies of "Thriller," which sounds like a lot until one realizes that Dunkin' Donuts sells more cups of coffee than that in one month.  In fact, more people have a cup of Dunkin' Donuts coffee than watch Bill O'Reilly on the same day.  But note where Dunkin' Donuts stands in the media cultural hierarchy compared to Jackson and O'Reilly.  Yeah, that elite media that Bill is always complaining about keeps pretending that his opinions are as important as those of an apple fritter.  A big mistake, as Sam points out. Oh, and Sam says that you virile men don't have to care about football either, which I'm sure is a big relief for some of you: We are, for example, supposed at this moment to be obsessed with football, especially if one is a virile male.  In fact, however, only about half of American males are interested in football. A 2002 poll found that only 28 percent of Americans listed football as their favorite sport, with 16 percent preferring basketball and 12 percent baseball. Add them all together and you are still left with nearly half of America having something better to do.  But you would never guess it from the media.  What better things do you think that virile guys might want to do instead of watching football?  Me, I'm not going to speculate.  12:01:18 AM