The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

July 1, 2006 by s.z. (2)

Now. for our entertainment news:
Hasselhoff severs tendon in arm
Former Baywatch star David Hasselhoff had surgery after severing a tendon in his right arm in an accident in a London gym bathroom, his spokesperson said yesterday. The 53-year-old actor was shaving at a gym in the Sanderson Hotel on Thursday when he hit his head on a chandelier, showering his arm with broken glass, said his publicist, Judy Katz. Doctors operated to repair the injury and Hasselhoff spent one night at St. Thomas’ Hospital, Katz said. “He’s fine,” she said.
When will somebody do something about the spate of gym chandelier-related shaving accidents?  (Maybe they should get KITT on the case.)
Oh, and here’s an item for Ben Shapiro:
Virgin rock festival set for Toronto
I just wonder what bands they’re going to get for it.
Oh, wait, it’s just a Richard Branson-sponsored thing. Never mind.

17 Responses to “Weirdest Accident EVER!”

I’d put that in second place, right behind the whole Fabian gettinghit by a duck thing.
Dr Katz? Maybe he was shaving in squigglevision. That would explain it. It always disoriented me.
(Not to make light, of course, but Mr Hasselhoff, next time have your publicist lie.)
melior, I think you ment FABIO. Fabian was a teen idol singer of the ’50s.
What kind of crazy-ass gym puts chandeliers in the bathroom? And at head-level no less.
This is such a baffling accident I think it WAS a lie. I mean, I hear the words “celebrity” and “gym bathroom” and I imediately thing impure thoughts inspired by the Village People.
Plus, maybe a weird sexual psotion would explain how he hit the chandelier.
I have to ask…what exactly was he shaving? If he was standing on the counter so as to get a better view of the nether regions, the chandelier thing makes sense. I guess. Or maybe not.
Why is it that I hear a Mellencamp tune to go with this?
“I fight the chandelier and the chandelier always wins.
I fight the chandelier and the chandelier aways wins.
I’ve been doing it since it severed those tendons
Next hit reality show on FAUX: “Celebrity House Wrestling!”
“I just wonder what bands they’re going to get for it.”
And where they might find them.
Why in Toronto? Ottawa, I’d understand, but Toronto?
This sounds like the cover story for a George Michael deal, you know, he propositions some guy in a men’s room, but instead of hitting on an undercover cop, Hasselhoff gets lucky and next thing you know, he’s being hoist up…well, I can skip the gruesome details….first off, what the fuck is he doing shaving on the ceiling of the men’s room????
And now I’m hearing a Lionel Richie song:
“Oh what a feeling
When we’re shaving on the ceiling…”
Come on. He was just trying to cut his throat and missed. Happens all the time. Afterwards, you smash the chandelier.
Dick Durata Says:
July 3rd, 2006 at 1:52 am
Come on. He was just trying to cut his throat and missed. Happens all the time. Afterwards, you smash the chandelier.

Is that like in Greece where they throw the dishes in the fireplaces after a meal?
Hasselhoff hit his head on a chandelier? He must be awfully tall.
I’m still wondering what “virgin rock” is.
Ben Shapiro? Shouldn’t he be over in Iraq right now?
I’ve always been suspicious of those chandeliers in gyms. Seems every damn facility has them.
However, rest assured that David would never, ever shave his forearms, even when prepping for his new syndicated reuinion with Pamela Anderson—set to debut this fall! Yes, it’s a spinoff of ‘Baywatch’ and the working title is ‘Sag Harbor.’ Principal photography begins after those crystal shards have been extracted and Dave can set his pen to music.
love ya,
Mr. Lazy_F*ck

No comments:

Post a Comment