The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, world-o-crap.com (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, January 28, 2011

June 2, 2006 by s.z.


The teen mother went missing, but I finally located her in that stalwart of escape plans, the air shaft. (Okay, maybe it was actually a furnace air exchange pipe, but it serves the same purpose). Yes, she’d secreted herself there in an effort to avoid having to deal with her demanding offspring, but after a couple of hours of hostage negotiations, I managed to talk her out, and then forced her to take care of her kids. But all in all, I’m not sure if my tough love plan to teach parenting skills to disadvantaged youth, and make them deal with the consequences of their unwed sex is going all that well. But I still plan to apply for some of that faith-based social services money, because I think the program is something that this administration would really go for.
I’ll give you more info about the program later, but now I need to get some sleep, as I need to be up at the crack of dawn for my “No Peeing in the House” seminar for wayward debutantes.
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4 Responses to “My Basement Detention Camp for Unwed Welfare Teen Mothers”

Cat or dog? And how many offspring are you looking at here? (I’d have run, too, actually.)
I know there’s a euphemism in there somewhere, I’m just not sure where to start.
Tough love huh?
Or rather “rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruff” love…
But I still plan to apply for some of that faith-based social services money, because I think the program is something that this administration would really go for.
Good luck with that.
But all in all, I�m not sure if my tough love plan to teach parenting skills to disadvantaged youth, and make them deal with the consequences of their unwed sex is going all that well.
You just blew it. Your need to assess and evaluate betrays a disturbing lack of faith. And your assessments and evaluations are needlessly based on reality, to say nothing of your reliance on the quaint notions of “success” and “failure.”But don’t despair. The position of presidential dog wrangler will be open soon. You’re encumbered with relevant experience, but that’s easily enough papered over. And it may not fit with your current career path, but, after all, the B School is the B School. (The relation-with-Jenna issue, however, is something you’re going to have to deal with on your own. And when you do, can I watch?)

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