The World O' Crap Archive

Welcome to the Collected World O' Crap, a comprehensive library of posts from the original Salon Blog, and our successor site, (2006 to 2010).

Current posts can be found here.

Friday, January 28, 2011

June 6, 2006 by s.z.

They’re hungry again.
I was going to do a more detailed report, but they just started mewing, so it will have to wait. But basically, their eyes are nearly open, they’re gaining weight, and they have started to lose that rat-like appearance that new born kittens have. They are eating well, they have accepted me as their mother, and even the little one who was left under the stairs for a day (Runty) seems to be healthy and vigorous.
They are one-week old today — so, in about six weeks, expect a contest where you can win valuable prizes, to possibly include a BRAND NEW KITTEN!

9 Responses to “Orphan Update”

Awesome! If I win I want dibs on the little Siamese, Chu Yu (stripper name: Trixie).
If there is anything that wingnuttery has taught us is that these young kittens need male headship to pledge to hold thier God-given holy kittenship until the right permanent mate can be found.
S.Z., have you made plans for this?
Bill Frist would like to place his order now.
Have you no shame, sir!? How dare you tempt your readership with adorable fuzzy creatures!
BTW in my youth “Sobraine” (a smallish generic-black/siamese/persian mix) had six kittens of which the last-born runt inherited feline influenza from his mother. We all took turns hand-feeding this skinny, snotty, rheumy-eyed reject with warmed “Carnation” condensed milk ministered via a “Visine” bottle. “Oedipus Sextus” grew to be 3 feet long head-to-tail (without the benefit of magnetic “lode”-doohickeys) and 22 pounds.
He would voluntarily join our neighbour when he walked his “Scottie” and Alsatian (“German Shepherd”) dogs for their morning and evening walks. He was a huge enmbarrasment to the rest of our cats.
My dad seriously worried that my mother might leave the majority of the estate to the cats and really hated the food and vet expenses, but when “Sextus” died, not only did dad make the phone call from the UK to the US immediately, he sent us a $20 bill with the instuctions to toast his memory, which I and my brothers did.
Yes “Sextus” was a feline retard,but he was a damn nice cat.
Listen to “ted”:IMHOP he has vision and wisdom. Hw might qualify as a demi-god, He nay be worthy of an ashtray-like shrine ( practical AND spiritual!)
Um, pictures?
When they start crawling all over you and climbing your pants, be sure to take lots of pictures.
My kitten was an early talent in the difficult and dangerous sport of ass-sitting. He could pin an unsuspecting college student for HOURS. Unfortunately, he had to retire, as the size of his own ass quickly outpaced any of the available perches.
I request pictures too!
How dare you tempt your readership with adorable fuzzy creatures!
Hey, it works for the porn industry…

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